Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Dating Double Standards

Happy Rainy Hump Day!

(well, in the NYC anyway)

Michael Jackson movie tonight! Woo-hoo! Game 1 of the World Series tonight! Woo-hoo!

So, like I do every morning, I'm listening to Hot97. The morning jocks are talking about men and women and double standards. The one male jock (Cipha Sounds) says he knows he applies a double standard to women - and has no problem with it. The other male jock (Rosenberg) says that he doesn't, and will never, hold his woman to a standard he's not willing to hold to himself.

Cipha Sounds called him a liar :-)

Now, we'd all like to live in a world where everyone - black, white, male, female - are all treated equally. Equal opportunities, equal pay for equal work, women ask men out just as often as men ask women out, and men and women's shoes all cost the same :-)

However, that's not the world we live least not yet anyway.

Cipha Sounds said that he doesn't like for his woman to have male friends or talk to her exes, even though he has female friends and talks to his exes all the time.


"Because I know men...that's why."

Well, by that same logic, wouldn't that imply that HE has some shady motivations behind why HE has female friends and talks to his exes?

"YES! Because I wanna smash!"

Well, at least he's honest :-)

While I won't assume all men think this way, I will say that there are plenty of double standards applied to both men AND women. Feel free to add your own:

Double Standards Applied to Women:

1. She shouldn't talk to or be friends with any of her exes, even if her man can. Why? Because she's vulnerable - and the minute she has a weak moment after an argument with her NEW man, he'll swoop in and grab the panties.

2. She can't have male friends. Why? For the same reason. All men wanna hit it, and they're just waiting for the opportune time to make their move - usually after her man messes up.

3. She shouldn't have had more sexual partners than her man. Why? Because that would make her a HO, that's why. A woman will rarely tell the truth when it comes to how many men she's slept with (if she tells you at all) - but if she DOES tell you, men usually assume it's 5 more than the number she gives you...and whatever the number is, it's usually too high for the man anyway.

4. She can't or shouldn't date more than one man at a time. If a man does, he's a P.I.M.P - and playing the field. If a woman does it, she's promiscuous...even if she's not having sex with any of the men she's dating. She's expected to sit at home and wait for the ONE dude she's seeing to find time to call her while he's dating 5 other women.

5. If a woman wants to spend more time with her man, she's clingy. If a man wants to spend more time with us, he's a "good boyfriend" - (or p*ssy whipped!) Ha!

6. If a woman dates a much younger man, she's a "Cougar." If a man dates a much younger woman, he's a "sophisticated older gentleman" and is envied by his peers.

Now, men...calm down. I wasn't gonna leave you out. There are double standards applied to men too...and there are similarities:

Double Standards Applied to Men:

1. A man can't be friends with his ex, but the woman can. Why? Because men are driven by their libido, and if he hit it once, he'll wanna hit it again. Men are not seen as beings who can control themselves.

2. A man can't have female friends, but the woman can. Why? Same reason. It's assumed that any woman a man is friends with is one that he was/is attracted to physically and wanted to have sex with at some point - he just ended up in the "Friend Zone" somehow. But given a chance, and knowing how conniving some bitches are, he'll hit it in a moment of weakness the minute you two have a fight...or even if you DON'T have a fight.

3. If a man has a low number of sexual partners, he's considered "inexperienced." While a woman doesn't want her boo to be a "man-whore," she will expect him to have been with enough women to put it down in the bedroom.

4. If a man doesn't have an orgasm while having sex with you, it MUST be because he has a mental block or erectile dysfunction. It can't be because the woman is wack in bed, or because he simply wants to please you. If it's not a mental block or erectile dysfunction, he MUST be cheating, because after all...a woman CAN'T be bad in bed. (insert sarcasm here)

5. If a man cheats, it's because he has an insatiable need for sex - not because something is missing in the relationship. If a woman cheats, it's because she's been neglected...but if men do it, it's because they're just sex-crazed assholes.

6. If a man wants to break up with his girlfriend, he's a jerk. If the girl wants to break up with him, it must be because he's a jerk :-) No-win situation. Women are the victims, never the CAUSE of the break-up.

There...I tried to keep it even :-)

I think if more men and women focused on each other and the relationship, rather than what was done in the past or what we assume will happen in the future, we'd all get along much better. I know this is an idealistic way of thinking, but it can happen - right? If you knowingly subscribe to a double standard, I dare you to be brave enough to admit it here. Go!



powerz said...

First BIIIITCHES. did I make it?

annamaria said...

Did this mofo really make it to first?????? Sleep with one eye open & both feet on the ground cause I will be shanking u tonight!!!!

annamaria said...

Its a blog war in my own house.I can't even comment on the topic. Austin I'm not speaking to you & neither is Sophia so there! Lol

Brooke said...

LOL!! you two are crazy!

momo925 said...

I think you are accurate in all of the double standards you listed Brooke. Both genders do tend to think that way in regards to the person they are seeing. One of my favorite sayings is "whats good for the goose, is good for ..."

annamaria said...

I agree with Monica

Brooke said...

Annamaria is REALLY at a loss for words today!

Austin, you done f*cked up! LOL!

annamaria said...

LMAO!!!! I know I can't even talk!!!!!! I'm sharpening my knives!!!! Charging my taser... And going thru the medicine cabinet to see what I can lace his dinner with!

Brooke said...

oh damn! Austin, watch out!

The Cable Guy said...

Damn bruh, you live with the tazer lady? I'd be very afraid :)

annamaria said...

You would think after living with me for 2 years & witnessing me kick my dr during childbirth that he would know better!

powerz said...

yeah, I live with the 5 foot nothing but mad attitude taser/shanker lady!

double standards exist, doesn't make it right but society has already laid the ground work for these ideologies.

And honestly speaking, although we know what the "word on the street is" when it comes to these examples......when its actually spoken, they make no sense. the reason is simply.....just cuz...

side note: I'm ordering dinner out tonite! :)

Brooke said...

Good idea Austin! :)

Stef said...

I actually heard them on the radio this morning talking about that, and Cipha said any number of sex partners over 10 was alot to him. I'm sorry, but depending on when you start having sex, a woman can EASILY top that number - especially if she's in her 30's.

Men need to get over that one.

And women should never tell!

Annamaria said...


I don't know why he messes with me... I like drugging his food & he knows this..LOL

P.S.- he likes my attitude..and getting tased from time to time...LOL

Brooke said...

maybe you and Austin should keep your freaky secrets to yourself :)

And don't think sending me adorable pics of Sophia in a Yankees tee will sway me! You're lucky she's cute - but I'm still ALL PHILLIES!!!

And don't drug my arroz con gandules when I win either!

Rameer said...

Never really subscribed to the double standards listed; I think everything is relative to the individuals. I recognize and acknowledge them as existing, but I've never really applied them as such.

My mother and sister LOVED the MJ film! One thing it completely debunks - that he was frail and unhealthy.Get the f out of here! I hope I'm that "frail and unhealthy" at 50...

Plus, that show was going to be AMAZING. He had a huge HD screen and filmed mini-movies for certain songs...they were like brand-new elongated music videos! AND, he never dances all out or sings as hard as he was going to through the entire film...and it was STILL dope! It's cool to see how they put it together, the adjustments, how much of a perfectionist he was (you'll laugh when he corrects people and gives orders, cuz it's the sternest, most polite thin you've ever seen lolz!), and how excited everyone was for the tour.

The Smooth Criminal and Thriller parts are off the chain...wait til you see the brand new Smooth Criminal mini-movie. It's SICK...

Yankees in 6. Lakers in 6 (yeah, I'm ALREADY tellin' y'all!).

annamaria said...

Be all Phillies! Me & Sophia will be watching the game in Yankee tees!!! Lol I won't drug ur arroz con guandules cause the yankees are going to win so I won't have to make it!

Brooke said...

I had to purposely stop reading Rameer's comment when it got to the MJ stuff. While I'm sure he said great things, I've been staying away from any reviews or comments from anyone who's seen it already. I wanna be totally surprised when I see it tonight. I'm not even watching Oprah today because she's talking about it. We can discuss tomorrow :)

We'll see Annamaria!

Rameer said...

I'm sorry! Since it doesn't follow a plot I thought you would like to know what to look forward to. My bad.

I never heard erectile dysfunction being the reason a guy didn't orgasm. Isn't erectile dysfunction not being able to operate the equipment at all?? You wouldn't even GET to that point if you can't get it up, right??

Brooke said...

I guess you're right :) I've heard when say that tho...that something in the pipes isn't right :)

The funny thing is, many women I know don't think a woman can be bad in bed...which is insane to me. But I guess they feel all they have to do is lay there :)

Rameer said...

Those women sound like either lazy or selfish lovers. Most women I know think there is something wrong with them or the sex if a guy doesn't orgasm (I've actually had this discussion a few times).

Then again, it's very obvious that NYC heads are very different as we continue to discuss things daily...

Rameer said...

Rethinking everything...I DEFINITELY hold male-female double standards. Just not any of the examples you listed...many are in other areas, like sports, workplace, school, etc.

Brooke said...

Well let's hear 'em then!

Anonymous said...

*applause* This was definitely speaking the truth.

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