Thursday, December 30, 2010

Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!

I was planning on taking the week off from blogging, but something amazing is happening on social media and I wanted to share it with all of you.

A good friend and fellow SU alum, Baron Hilliard, is a founder of the Together AsOne Foundation. Today, they are hosting a "Social Media-a-thon" to raise money to send a young, Black student to college. They are asking 2000 donors to pledge just $20 per year for the next 5 years in order to fund a young person's college education. How awesome is that?!

I know I throw $20 away weekly on nonsense...whether it's an overly expensive lunch in Manhattan or something in a store I can live without. Why not take that $20 and do something positive and uplifting with it?

Did you know that only 47% of black males graduate from high school? Only 37% of those black men who graduate from high school go on to college...and of those, only 35% graduate within 6 years. This is a statistic we can change for one, if not more, young black men if we simply commit to the Together AsOne Foundation Scholarship Fund. "It takes a village to raise a village."

We hear that concept all the time, but many of us have no idea what that really means. That phrase is based upon the principle that the consciousness of people of color can best be raised by working with leaders from the community who have a history and natural inclination to work best with the communities they serve. It means we all have a responsibility to educate, support and raise our children to be the best, most productive members of our community, and in the world, in order to uplift us all.

We should align our thinking with the principles that Together AsOne holds dear - principles based in culture, compassion, respect, kindness, and a commitment to excellence. Our community's health and social problems are rooted in our history and culture, and can only be solved by recognizing and incorporating knowledge of that history and culture in a program to solve these problems one child at a time. That's where you come in.

How many of you will claim to be one of 2000 strong? I know I will. I'm proud to be a part of this powerful movement. That small amount, $20 PER YEAR, will change a person's life forever. I'm committing to $100 a year, but we're only asking for $20. Think about what you spend $20 a week on. Think about what you spend $20 a DAY on. Now think about what $20 a YEAR can do for a worthy student in the next 4-5 years. It's not algebra's simple, easy...and necessary. There's no reason not to.

If you are on Facebook, Twitter or any other social media site, pass the word to everyone you know. Go to the Together AsOne Foundation page on Facebook and suggest it to all of your friends and encourage them to sign up and donate. You can also follow them on Twitter @togetherasonefd - retweet this information to all of your followers and get them on board.

Visit the link and find out how you can become part of this monumental grassroots event!

Call: 908-755-8220

Let's get it people!


Thursday, December 23, 2010

Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!

- My mommy is coming tonight! Daddy is coming tomorrow! Christmas will be fun this year.

- Then I'll be in Philly for a week beginning Sunday - can't wait to see my babies!

- Have a few stocking stuffers to pick up, so I'll be running around a bit today...but I'm here!

- In case y'all missed it :-)

The Giants got STOLE ON! Made my whole week :-)

- Don't you hate it when something you love has been discontinued? A certain pair of Gap jeans, a lipstick shade? The WORST!

- I've found myself getting more into Real Housewives of Atlanta. I admit it. Reading the status updates on Witches' Brew on Facebook as I watch makes my night :-)

- Not too fond of Beyonce's fragrance "Heat." I need a new signature scent.

- I had bacon for dinner last night. Yes....I said bacon.

- I wonder if Deebo can fit me in today...I need a good workout before the holidays.

- I wanna try the Shake Weight....just to see what it feels like.

- Still haven't seen Tron or Fighter yet. Maybe over the break.

- I wouldn't mind going to see Wendy Williams' show. She looks like she's 7 feet tall on tv.

- Where has Domina*tricks been?

- I'm taking a poll: Who are your top five rappers of all time? This is Brian's experiment :-) Let's see if he's right.

- Speaking's Brian's Xmas double feature!

Two more days til Christmas! Happy Holidays everyone!



Wednesday, December 22, 2010

WTF Wednesday

Happy Hump Day!

WTF Wednesday....leading into Random Thoughts we go.

- WTF is up with Cipha Sounds and his Haitian/HIV joke? If you can even call it a joke...

I never understood where these ridiculous stereotypes come from, but it's getting out of hand. HIV is nothing to joke about anyway, let alone targeting a specific group of people. Cipha Sounds is an idiot. Hot 97 loves this type of controversy, but it's divisive. It's bad enough there are people who actually believe this crap, no need perpetuating it any further.

- WTF man...Prince sang songs at MSG that he didn't sing at my show at the Izod Center. I'm not surprised though, it IS the Garden. Never go to the first show...especially if the first show is in Jersey.

- Why are people asking me to do stuff because their assistants are on vacation? Who do I look like? Kizzy?

- This old lady almost knocked my ass over trying to get a seat on the train. Mind you, there were PLENTY of seats available...she just wanted THAT one. Like Chris Rock says, "there's a reason to kick an old person down the steps...just don't do it."

- Last night at my holiday party, a woman I work with said it was "stupid" that I only applied to one college, even though I got in. When I asked her what school she went to, she said she didn't attend college. What is more stupid - applying to one college (and getting into my first and ONLY choice) or not going to college at all? Hmmm....WTF? Bish please....



Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Your 2010

Hey everyone!

Being back to work is a downer...but thank God for my job! As much as I could complain about late shows, pain-in-the-ass production companies and not enough hours in the day to deal with all the drama, I won't....because I'm truly grateful to not only be employed, but to actually have a job that I love.

As I was perusing Witches Brew on Facebook, one of their status updates asked this simple question: As the year comes to a close, what's been the highlight of your 2010?

I'm not sure I can narrow it down to just one thing, so I'll have to think about it as far as THE highlight is concerned....but I'd love to hear yours! What has been your most memorable moment(s) of 2010? And what are you looking forward to most in 2011?



Monday, December 20, 2010

Happy Monday!

I'm very proud to post today's blog, and after you read it, you'll understand why. Serena has been an inspiration to not only me, but to many of you who read my blog on a regular basis. Her spirit is boundless, her positive energy flows through everything action, every word spoken and every word written. I am constantly in awe of her, and I'M thankful to be able to call her a friend.

I'm Still Serena T. Wills.

“Now when it seemed like I was losing and I felt like giving up,
Lord I Say Thank You.
Your love rushed in like a mighty flood and lifted me above,
And Lord I Say Thank You…
Thank you Lord for my family…thank you Lord for keeping me.”

Lisa Page Brooks - Gospel Artist

Hello blog fam. This isn’t a sermon, but had to start off with a few lines from one of my favorite songs on the airwaves. This small part of the song describes the mountains that not only I climbed, but numerous friends that lost loved ones this year. Total there are 7 of us that have lost either our mothers or fathers since January - not to count other mountains that were faced such as grieving, trying to heal, going through months of legal guardianship papers and court documents, financial stress, commuting back and forth to NYC every month, etc.

Despite losing my mother, “Marguerite Sauti Wills” to Ovarian Cancer on February 19th of this year, I could still be thankful. This holiday season, I asked Brooke if I could write for her blog because it was on my heart to show someone (if not some people) how a person like me is truly thankful during this holiday season for the gifts I, as well as my friends, already received. While some are stressing over buying gifts standing in long lines at Target; my friends and I can all stand and say we made it this year. Some want books for Christmas to stimulate their minds…we’re thankful we still have a piece of mind. Some want jewelry from their special one to warm the heart…we have started to receive healing for our hearts. Others want something expensive that they think will treat their spirits and soul…all we wanted was our spirits and souls to be restored after going through what we experienced.

Do you see where I’m going with this? Gifts are not just from a store or material items, they are from the heart and other sources in life. One guy I ran into asked me, “How can you still be so thankful after He took away your mother? What’s the deal with that…how can you still smile, perform, write…?” True statement.

Trust me, I have my moments and I let it out. I have no shame to cry, pray, go into deep meditation, talk to my counselor, friends, etc. It’s not a sign of weakness…it’s a sign of a person who wants the healing to begin and take over. If I don’t do these things, then I would be a basket case locked away somewhere or worse off…dead and gone because I took my own life. I have to be thankful because I’m still here and not going anywhere. I have reconnected with people that Mom and I lost touch with over the years, my heart is once again open for love, I can see a bright future in front of me, I finally have a job that I truly enjoy, became a co-guardian with my dynamic grandmother on December 10th to my sister Christina who is severely autistic, my writing is taking off and it's my therapy and have touched people through it, my family is being restored and we have reunited because of mom‘s doing from afar.

Today, share with a person that you love what you’re most thankful for as this year comes to a close - and don’t let it be material (ie…"I’m thankful for the 42 inch plasma babes"). No…we aren’t talking about that type of thanks. Reach down and know that there are so many people like me that made it through this year, can stand tall and say…thank you.

Make amends with that someone that is truly worth it…it’s been tugging on your heart to reach out to them. Whether it’s a friend or relative and even if it’s just a simple, “Hey…I’m thinking of you” - it’s a start. Call a friend or family member up that you haven’t heard from in a while and say, “I love you and just stopped by to say so.” Life is too short to keep things like a simple, “I love you” inside our hearts. Tomorrow isn’t promised, so just say it.

I’m also curious as to what you are thankful for - share with us on the blog and inspire all of the many readers!

When I chime onto the blog, I experience so many people that have such warm hearts, that don’t ask for much, just want their basic needs met, and can still smile despite what’s happening. Celebrating babies being born (I have 5 friends that are currently pregnant…very exciting), jobs created and businesses taking off, freedom from stressful relationships, love in bloom, health restored, dreams coming true…I see so much on this blog and I wanted to say from the bottom of my heart…thank you. Thank you for all of the compliments, prayers, good vibes, support, love and laughs. God bless and have happy holidays.

- Serena T. Wills - aka Divine Wryte

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!

-Prince was AMAZING! However, he didn't sing When Doves Cry, 1999, Little Red Corvette or I Would Die For You. That would have taken it over the top. I don't know why he didn't sing those songs, but if he sings them at the Garden, I'm gonna be PISSED! But still, I had the BEST time, he killed it! I'd have a whole gang of his teeny, tiny, freaky deaky babies!

- Loretta and I chatted up ?uestlove before the concert - he was givin' the gas face! LOL!

- I wish they'd leave Michael Vick alone. If dude wants to have a dog, I see nothing wrong with it. He's not going to torture his pet. People need to stop being stupid.

- This woman had a case of the giggles on the train platform this morning. Whatever she was thinking about had her giggling uncontrollably to the point where tears were streaming down her face because she was trying so hard to hold it in. I thought that only happened to me :-)

- Are any of you friends with your parents on Facebook?

- Who do you think should be the Person of the Year? or can there be only one?

- It seems money in NY can buy anything.........except Cliff Lee! Ha!

- Maybe Annamaria and I will be betting again on the World Series between the Phillies and the Yankees :-)

- Or maybe we won't, since she has YET to cook my food after losing the bet she and I made between the Eagles and the Giants. They play AGAIN this Sunday, so maybe she's trying to hold out to make it double or nothing ;-)

- I see the Knicks are tryna do a lil something....I like it :-)

- Sometimes I just want to say "shut the hell up!" to a few folks in my office.

- Mercury must be in retrograde - a lot of strange things are happening to me. People are coming out the woodwork.

- I haven't been to the gym in three days, so tonight is gonna hurt...real bad.

- Mailed out my Xmas cards! Do people still do that anymore?

- Serena texted me a pic of the snow coming down in the DMV...not a fan of snow. You'd think i'd be used to it after 4 winters in Syracuse. Not so much.

- I thank God for family, friends, health, sanity, warmth, shelter, clothing, food, employment and happiness. With so much going on in the world, I am truly blessed.

- Did y'all see when Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake did the history of hip hop on his show?

Cracks me up every time!

- Sherri Sheppard is a walking minstrel show.

- Today we're doing "Secret Santa" in my department. One of my co-workers who is participating sees my wrapped gift and asks me what it is. Guess she doesn't know the meaning of the word "secret" huh?

- Brian's throwback!



Happy Hump Day!

I haven't been blogging lately because I've just been so busy! I miss you guys! I'm looking forward to a couple days off this Friday and Monday - and then the week after Christmas. I'm also looking forward to the PRINCE CONCERT tonight! A very nice treat...I need it!

If any of you caught The View yesterday, you know that Diddy was a guest and sat down with the ladies to promote his new CD Last Train to Paris. He also answered some very personal questions thrown at him about his children and his stance on marriage. In case you missed it, take a look and then we'll discuss:


First let me say that I like Diddy. I don't always agree with his life choices, but they're HIS life choices. I don't love all of his music, sometimes I think he's a clown, but for the most part he entertains me. I think he's great at building a brand, marketing himself, keeping himself relevant and is a savvy businessman. And in his response in the interview, I like that he didn't back down from the question and I feel he was honest.

However, 6 children (he claims Al B. Sure's son as his own) with 3 different women always raises an eyebrow...especially in our community. I was discussing Diddy's interview with a friend last night and he said that Diddy should have married at least one of those women in order to make an "honest woman" out of her.

Now, who knows what Diddy was telling these women in any of the relationships he's been in. Maybe he promised to marry them one day, maybe he didn't. That Kim Porter seems to be holding on for dear life in the hopes that he'll wake up one day and put a ring on it. But then again, maybe she couldn't care less about a ring, so long as she and her family are provided for. Like Diddy said, their situation seems to work for his family. So who are we to judge?

Personally, I don't think a man can make a woman "honest"...whatever that means. I feel that if a woman wants to get married before having children, she should state what she wants and then stick to her guns. Some women don't necessarily believe that you have to be married to have children...especially if that child would be the child of a mogul. Child support will do them just fine.

But for those women who DO wish to be married, then the responsibility lies with them to make sure that they either keep their legs closed, or use some sort of birth control until they walk down the aisle. Most women I know who don't want to get pregnant...DON'T. There's a pill, a patch, a shot, a diaphragm, a foam, a name it. If you don't want to use condoms, you're still the whole "I got pregnant by accident" excuse is just excuse.

I know contraception fails, but something tells me in Diddy's case, these women didn't accidentally get preggers. They allowed themselves to get knocked up - without a ring - which leads me to my question of the day:

Should Diddy have married any of them in order to make honest women out of them, even if he wasn't ready to be a husband? Or is he doing the right thing by not marrying women he knows he can't fully commit to?

Some would argue that being the father to a woman's child is a much bigger commitment than being a husband, so he might as well complete the unit. But I'd argue that a person is VERY capable of being a good parent, but a terrible boyfriend or spouse. Should people who want children be forced to get married first, even if being a husband or wife isn't something they can fully commit to? Or should people who don't want to get married never have children as well?
Do you feel that children can't grow up to be wonderful, successful, well adjusted children without two parents in the home, or does that simply increase the chances?

Or is Diddy a rare case where these women are simply looking for a come-up and they see Diddy as their meal ticket - so no ring is necessary - and Diddy is smart for protecting his neck? Let's hear it! Go!


Thursday, December 9, 2010

Random Thoughts Thursday!

- Brrrrrr!!!!!

- Yesterday someone told me that my coat was "too big" and that it wasn't really that cold out. It was 28 degrees at the time. You figure it out.

- I hate when guys rap out loud on the train while listening to their iPod. And I mean LOUD. They bounce around like they're Fiddy on stage...and it's annoying as hell.

- This morning, I overheard this guy tell his friend that he had 7 girlfriends. I guess pimpin' IS easy.

- Steve Harvey is hilarious as the host of Family Feud :-)

- Steak and shrimp for lunch with veggies - YUM!

- I would love to wiggle my toes in some sand right about now...with a warm sunset poured across my shoulders. Anyone wanna take a tropical vacation with me?

- Swizzy had on gold studded shoes the other day...he's fancy huh?

- My cable bill jumped $30 this month....pure fuckery.

- I have end-of-year burn out - ready for some time off to just relax and bring in the new year.

- What is everyone doing on New Year's Eve? Party? Church? Family? All of the above?

- My sister and brother-in-law will be celebrating 10 years of marriage on New Year's Eve - awesome! Such a blessing.

- That numbers game on Facebook is ridiculous. No one cares because no one knows who you're talking about except the moron who inboxed you a number in order to feel validated. What is wrong with simply writing them back privately? Or how about CALLING them? And why don't these people know how you feel about them already? If you don't know how I feel about you, then you don't need to be my friend...because that would mean I'm not a good one.

- Tell the people you love how you feel about them everyday...or at least every week. Tomorrow is not promised to you...and don't just do it on Facebook.

- The Jets got lit up Monday night. They'll be alright though. Go Eagles!

- Prince is on The View....owwww! That's one cool cat...I just wanna like his face!

- I miss my nephews.

- Please keep thinking good thoughts for my cat Cole.

- RIP Elizabeth Edwards.

- Send prayers for Aretha Franklin.

- Brian's throwback!



Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Happy TMI Tuesday - and you know what that means! Fury is back...let's go!

Discovering Sexy The Fury.

Being that I'm the "phone-a-friend" for all of my friends, acquaintances, industry contacts, et al.

Phone-a-friend: Someone you call for any amount of information on everything from geography to song titles to menstruation cycles, regardless of time of day, if they're in a meeting or having sex...

I really enjoy discovering new information that I can pass on to those in need.

I like discovery. I also enjoy using my Sherlock Holmesian Intuition (really not a proper term) to discover things about people, especially regarding sex.

I remember being in school using my wicked sense of SHI to discover that a high school crush's favorite position was doggystyle. Not much of a revelation these days, but back then (not so far back) that wasn't something shy young ladies admitted. She had long fingernails, and the day after our sexually charged conversation wherein I had coaxed sexual confessions from her like honey from the comb, She returned to school the next day without her nails. I passed her in the hallway and whispered into her ear.

"You cut your nails before you played with yourself last night."

Her eyes went wide, her face flushed, her secret revealed. Then She added a cherry on top...

"...About you."She smiled and continued down the hall.

Once at a party, I found myself play fighting with E, an attractive copper skinned friend of an ex. I think we were fighting over something silly like who got the last plastic cup. We pushed back and forth, our arms and legs intertwined, her perky breasts pushing against me as we fought. Suddenly I realized she was getting the upper hand on the cup. She spun around, cup in hand, back to me, ass pressed against my dick (a good feeling). I held her left arm to keep her from running away and with battle reflexes, reached around her, grabbed her by her throat and spun her to face me. E's eyes went wide with shock. We stood there staring at each other in the kitchen alone for what felt like minutes but was only a couple of seconds. Mentally, I prepared my quick fast apology. My hand still in place, her eyes went from shock what the hell was that look in her eyes.

"Mmmmm, don't do that Fur. I like that." E smiled, her eyes went dreamy.

"Oh you like that?" My grip went from loosening to slightly tighter.

"Yes, I like that." She whispered. She raised her soft hand against mine as I released my hold. "You can have the cup, I got something, you get something." She laughed and walked out of the kitchen.

After that it had been a running joke with us that I greeted her by holding her by the throat and shaking like you would someone's hand. An acknowledgment of our held secret of E's "breath play" fetish.

I discovered another sexy secret of a friend crammed in an SUV driving to a party. When I say crammed, I mean crossing the border crammed. O was sitting on my lap with her legs across the lap of one of my boys. We playfully tickled her sandal clad feet, which gave her fits of laughter. As she jumped, bounced (yes still on my lap) and kicked, the environment became a little too dangerous for such play in tight quarters. The driver yelled at us to stop our nonsense or kill us all. Such a drama queen that driver. O removed her feet from my buddy's lap and slid them between my legs and the door. Quietly, I felt her hand touch mine, then lead it to her foot. I rubbed her foot, she giggled. I caressed her foot, she suppressed the laughter with her hand.

My friend sitting next to me took hold of her other foot and did the same. O's incredible tits jiggled in her tank top as she smiled. As we arrived to the party and climbed out of the car like clown's in the circus, O turned to me with a smile and extremely hard nipples. Her nipples poked through her tight shirt like pebbles.

"You're headlights are..."I started

O looked down and covered them with her hands.

"Whoa. Thanks." She blushed.

"Feet play...," I started.

"Shhhhh!" she smiled and we all went on our way.

I've discovered quite a few sexy secrets from my female friends over the years, (who likes anal, who likes to be dominated, who is bisexual, who gives their man blowjobs in the front seat of the car outside the office before work, who loves to have her ass licked even more than her kitty, who masturbates in public often, who craves to have all of her holes filled at once) some from confession, but many from admission after using that fun SHI. The best part about sexy secrets is keeping them between just me and them with a smile, a wink or a light choke.

What are some of the shocking sexy secrets you've learned about friends, coworkers and the like? DON'T TELL ANYONE'S NAME!!

-The Fury

Monday, December 6, 2010

Happy Monday!

Mother Nature is focused…on the cold I see. Flurries in the NYC in early December, gotta love it. Well...not really :-)

Today is December 6th, when everyone is supposed to take down their cartoon profile pics after a week or so of changing them to bring awareness to child abuse. The Facebook campaign went viral and is reported to have been “successful.” While it was fun to see Betty Boop, Bugs Bunny, Woody Woodpecker, The Flintstones, Garfield, Fat Albert and countless other cartoon characters from my childhood, I wondered just how “successful” this campaign was. Was it successful because people participated? Because people were lifting their voices up against child abuse? What did changing a profile pic really do except take us on a trip down memory lane?

Before anyone comes at me with the “well it was a good cause” response, trust me when I tell you I had nothing against this Facebook campaign. If anything, I think remembering what it was like to be a child is the first step in raising awareness of child abuse. But changing a profile photo isn’t enough.

Child abuse is real. It happens every day around the world. The best way to stop child abuse is to prevent it from happening in the first place. If you are a parent, think before you belittle or hit your child. Most times, the abuse comes at the hands of a parent or a caregiver, so be the best, loving parent you can be. I’m not saying don’t discipline your child, but words have power, and no child should associate your touch with pain.

It’s the responsibility of all adults to protect our children – and not just the children in your family. If you suspect or notice signs of child abuse in ANY child, it’s your moral responsibility to speak up and try to stop it. It’s not just up to child protective services to intervene. Usually by the time they step in, the damage is already done. Permanent damage - to the child’s heart, mind, body…and spirit. The best way to stop child abuse is to be aware of what is going on around you with the children in your life. Friends, family, teachers, neighbors, coaches or anyone else who has children in their lives who recognizes child abuse should step up and play a role in stopping the abuse.

How do you recognize child abuse?

Usually it’s as easy as simply paying attention to them. Listen to what they say. Watch for signs…the most common of which is emotional abuse. If you see a parent emotionally abusing their child, say something! I hate seeing a parent cursing at their child on the train, or calling them disparaging names in the store. If they do this to them in public, imagine what they say to them behind closed doors. I’ve gotten the death stare from parents when I tell them that they shouldn’t curse at or belittle their child, but they usually stop…even if it’s just until the child gets home. But they need to be called on it. And children need to know that THAT isn't love.

Emotional abuse may be harder to detect, and since children love their parent or caregiver (most times), they may be afraid to speak out against them or talk about the problem. That’s when you have to look past what the child is saying to see the real problem.

Signs of physical abuse may include unexplained bruises or cuts, repeated “accidents” such as falling down the stairs that leave marks, and frequent absences from school for no apparent reason. If you suspect or see any of this, call someone and get help for the family immediately. Children shouldn’t have to stay in an abusive situation. The best way to help is to get involved.

Children who are abused are afraid. They’re afraid of their abuser, and afraid to tell on them because of retaliation, thinking it’ll only get worse if they tell. So they may not ask for help. They may not trust anyone. They may have tried to ask for help from another trusted family member or friend and no one did anything. But this shouldn’t stop any of us from trying to help. Even if they reject your help, do something anyway.

Abused children come in all shapes and sizes, from all races, and all economic backgrounds. It doesn’t just affect children from low-income families, or minority children, boys or girls. Sometimes abuse is masked well, because to the outside world, everything looks fine, the children come from families with money, or a from a good “Christian” family - especially in cases of sexual abuse. Don’t assume anything. Everything is NOT always fine simply because the family looks like they have it together on the outside. Pay attention to our kids. All kids. Sure, Bugs Bunny is cute and all, but do more than change your Facebook profile photo. Help change a child’s life. Be one of the adults who takes a stand and becomes part of the village we need to help raise our children to be happy and safe.


Friday, December 3, 2010


Friday Sexy Survey!

1. Do you break up before or after the holidays? (if you're single, don't start dating anyone new until January...jus sayin)

2. Speaking of holidays, do you hook up with your cute co-worker at/during the company holiday party? Or do you not dip your pen in company ink...or get dipped in? Ha!

3. Is great sex 90% anticipation, 10% actual act - or 10% anticipation, 90% actual act? Somewhere in the middle?

4. Do opposites really attract?

5. Which is more fun/exciting:

- Make-up sex?
- Random sex?
- risky sex? (and by risky, I mean like a fear of being caught...not unprotected sex...let's make that clear)
- Kinky sex?
- Spontaneous sex?
- Consistent, casual sex?
- Forbidden sex? (and again...I don't mean as in with a minor...I mean as in with your bestie's ex)



Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!

Hope you all are staying warm out there!

- Forget about the rent for a second, can we form a "The gas is too damn high" party?

- My whole upper body is sore thanks to Deebo.

- I watched this chick kill herself in the gym, and then promptly go into the locker room and KILL a bag full of Mickey D's. Fries, a Big Mac and 2 apple pies. Guess she worked up an appetite...but she'll have to run for 4 hours to burn that all off.

- Meanwhile, I had a protein shake for dinner. Fun times.

- Should men wear knee high Wellies? Just asking.

- I sucked in Fantasy Football this year...big time. But hey...there's always next year. Go Eagles!

- I still haven't seen The Soul Train Awards. Is it worth a look? I did catch a clip of the Anita Baker tribute - love her! Thanks Princess!

- I've been having my sexy dreams again. Watch out for "Brooklyn" ;-)

- I'm pretty much finished with my Xmas shopping. And it's only Dec. 2nd!

- I hope 2011 is a GREAT year! For everyone!

- My cat snores really loud. He can barely breathe...poor baby :-(

- I need to wax my eyebrows today...they're crawling across my forehead.

- I have my "booty cords" on today...owwww!

- Oxtails and rice and peas for lunch today, I can't wait to eat it!

- Some things should not be bought generically. Cotton swabs are one of them. Q-Tips are the best!

- Did I mention I'm going to see Prince on Dec. 15th? Floor seats baby! I can't wait to see the Purple One sing "Adore." I'm swooning already!

- And with that...the throwback joints for this E Double Double!



Happy Hump Day!

It's also World AIDS Day, so before you go humping anybody today - be sure to wrap it up! You don't wanna get caught out there if you find yourself in a scene from Raheem DeVaughn's new video...which is HOT by the way....good lawd!

Anyway, I thought about "sacrificing" my blog today and everyday until $1 million dollars has been raised to spread awareness of HIV/AIDS...but then I figured you wouldn't miss me as much as you would...say...Alicia Keys or Kim Kardashian. That "digital death" thing is kinda creepy, but it's for a good cause, so I'll keep my comments to myself :-)

**blink. blink. stare.**

So anyway, here I am :-)

There is so much you can do to can do raise awareness about HIV/AIDS and help stop the spread of this disease. You can work with young people to educate them about HIV/AIDS. You can raise awareness through social media, blogging, etc. You can do community service for those living with HIV/AIDS. Or you can simply say a prayer for those afflicted with this disease around the world - especially in Africa.

But the FIRST thing you should do (if you haven't already) is GET TESTED so you can know your status. It's imperative. It's also free in most major cities and takes no time at all to get your results. Don't be afraid. Be Smart. Be empowered. Education is key, so know the facts about HIV/AIDS. We can make a difference.

What are you doing to honor World AIDS Day?


Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Happy Tuesday!

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday break! Whether you celebrate or not, a few days off never hurt anybody…so I hope it was eventful and/or restful for you all.

This morning on my train ride to work, this woman was lamenting about her life and all the mistakes she’d made, the opportunities she didn’t take advantage of and the choices she could have made that would have changed her life forever. She thought she’d be in a different place by now, and for the duration of my commute to work, I felt sorry for her.

Before I got off at my stop, her friend told her that she was being miserable, and that where she was today is exactly where she was supposed to be. To that, the woman responded, “So you’re telling me that if you could go back in time, there’s nothing you would have done differently?”

I had to get off the train before I could hear her friend’s response, but it made me ponder the answer myself.

I would have studied abroad in Spain for a semester if I could go back to my college days.

I would have listened to my mother more when it came to certain guys I had a crush on.

I would have played basketball in college when offered the opportunity.

I would have bought a place once I moved to NY instead of anticipating not liking it here, or not being able to survive here…7 years later.

I would have taken a chance on sports broadcasting.

I would have bought those shoes :-)

Hindsight being 20/20, there are a million things I would have done differently if I knew then what I know now. But the reality is, I didn’t know then what I know now…and that’s what learning is all about.

Yes, I could have done a semester abroad, but what great experience would I have missed out on while at Syracuse? I could have listened to my mother more when it came to certain guys, but I learned valuable lessons of what NOT to do from those relationships. I could have bought a place here, but not been able to afford it because I jumped the gun and/or didn’t research/plan correctly. And those shoes…? They’re out of style now.

The point is, I feel that without having gone through life’s uncertainties, the ups and downs and making mistakes, how can we discover ourselves? You have to walk in the rain to experience the rainbow. You have to know sadness to appreciate happiness. You have to make mistakes in order to learn and grow.

Missed opportunities teach us that we should not live life in fear…to take a chance every once in awhile. The woman on the train sounded like a person who allows her fears to define her, and in that fear, she lives her life with regrets. What I feel she (and I) can learn from the “would’a, could’a, should’as” is to embrace the fear, stare it in the face and channel it differently.

Fear has a purpose. It can be the engine that drives our intellectual, emotional and spiritual progress…our evolution. Don’t be afraid to make a mistake. Don’t be afraid of failure. Be afraid of not trying. Be afraid of not loving. Be afraid of not living.

The better way of living is not without problems, challenges, tragedies or regrets – but in the way we deal with them. Instead of wishing you lived in a different world, create the world you want to live in. Perception is reality.

If you are constantly looking at your past with regret, you can’t shape and appreciate your bright future. We literally can create the world we want to live in through our minds and project it outward. Accept your past, make peace with your decisions, and begin again. Embrace a new paradigm to guide your personal life to one of fulfillment. Have faith, and believe it possible.


Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Happy Hump Day!

So it seems I must be the only person in my office who couldn’t care less about the engagement announcement of Prince William and Kate Middleton. News broke yesterday that the couple will be married in Westminster Abbey next April, and already some of my coworkers are treating it like it will be an American holiday.

While I’m happy for the Prince and his future Princess, I just really don’t care that much. While some are thrilled for young William, others are already taking bets on how long their marriage will last. I’ve heard some say 3 years, others say 7. And then there are those who say that he’ll simply stay married and take a mistress.

Either way, who cares? And why hate on young love? :-)

While I don’t really put much into “celebrity” couplings and marriages, what I DID find interesting is that Prince William and Kate Middleton dated off and on for 9 years. To me, if anything, I think taking your time to really get to know someone gives your marriage a better chance at success. It’s not guaranteed – nothing is – but 9 years of vetting someone is a lot longer than most people stay married nowadays…so it made me wonder if theirs was a case of love at first sight, or a friendship that grew into a passion.

They say the Prince saw her in a fashion show in college where she was modeling lingerie and was smitten. I’m sure there was a physical attraction between the two – or at least on his part - but was there a “spark?” I’ve heard some couples say that they knew IMMEDIATELY that their spouse was “the ONE” upon their first meeting. My good friend said to her husband in her wedding vows, “You had me at hello.” You know it’s gotta be deep if you’re quoting lines from Jerry Maguire :-)

But I can’t say that I’ve ever felt that. That’s not to say that I haven’t felt any sparks, or that there was no chemistry between me and any boyfriends I’ve had. There have definitely been sparks. But physical attraction, lust, chemistry…does that lead to long term love? Is that different than knowing someone is "The One?"

Most couples I know on a personal level who have been married for a long time had no idea that their spouse was The One when they first laid eyes on each other. My sister will be celebrating her 10 year wedding anniversary this December, yet when she first met her husband, she just thought he was cute. He didn’t speak English, had only been in the country for about six months, and she had just graduated from college and was fresh out of a stale relationship. She thought she’d kill some time with him, just date and have fun. Now, 13 years and two children later, she couldn’t imagine her life with anyone else.

Now if you ask HIM, he’ll tell you it was love at first sight. He knew...even if SHE didn’t.

So maybe both people don’t have to feel it. Maybe the other person has to be shown over time that the love of their life is staring them right in the face…but they just can’t see it yet. Either way, their love grew steadily, not instantly (at least for her). They were together for three years before they got married, getting to know each other (and how to communicate since neither spoke the other's language) and taking their time. While it may have “clicked” for him, it didn’t click for her right away – so clearly if we don’t know right away, that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

In all of my longest lasting relationships, I didn’t know right away that that person was going to be in my life for more than a week, let alone months or years. And usually those who I had an instant, explosive chemistry with quickly fizzled out after a fast burn. So what has your experience been? Have you:

1. Been in a relationship with someone who was a longtime friend that you’d started dating and went from having a platonic relationship to a romantic one?

2. Enjoyed a mild attraction with a traditional courtship that involved going on several dates over a long period of time that gradually grew more serious based on common interests?

3. Just fell head-over-heels in love fast and furious and the lasting relationship is/was based on a passionate connection?

So which if these 3 scenarios describes most of your relationships? Have any of you had a relationship that didn't seem like it would last at first — but after enough shared experiences and enough time getting to know each other, you found you'd built an unexpectedly strong foundation? Or was it hot and heavy from the beginning?



Monday, November 22, 2010

Oprah Haters

Happy Monday!

I've been so busy today that I didn't plan on blogging. I finally got a chance to come up for air just in time to watch Part 2 of Oprah's Ultimate Favorite Things. She did Part 1 on Friday, and it was, as usual, amazing to watch. But today I have a bit of a rant.

Some (very few) of Oprah's favorite things don't dazzle me, but most of them I'd LOVE to take home with me! But what makes watching this particular show fun for me is watching how happy it makes the folks in her audience. For 25 years, she's been bringing joy to people's lives...and Oprah is truly blessed because she is always giving. When you give to others, the blessings come back tenfold - which is why I believe she is highly favored.

But some folks don't like to see other people happy. Sure, I watch these shows wishing I was in the audience. I could use a new Coach bag, an iPad and some glittery Ugg boots. I don't NEED those things...I just WANT them. But most times, Oprah fills her audience with single mothers who can't treat themselves to fun things, new things, or expensive things. They're people who devote their lives to charity, or are teachers, or first responders like firemen or policemen - or they are people who have served this country. Most times, the people in the audience are people who do for others selflessly, and Oprah is simply giving back to them.

Which is why I don't understand how anyone could hate on that. The two co-workers I sit in between turn to The Oprah Show daily - and it seems that they have something negative to say about Oprah DAILY. They scoffed when she gave away cars. They huffed and puffed when she sent her number one fans to Australia on a plane piloted by John Travolta. They scorn the women in the audience who cry once they realize they're on the always envied Oprah's Favorite Things Show...knowing FULL WELL that they TOO would be acting a fool if they were lucky enough to get a seat in Harpo Studios. Oprah could give me a stick of gum and I'd be excited!

But why is it so hard for some to be happy for other people - especially people who could use some cheer? It's not like her audience is filled with rich folk, or her celebrity friends. They are people just like you and me. Lucky people :-)

What I find even more puzzling is their reason for hating. I asked them what their issue was with this show. One says, "Oprah is just gluttonous."


Clearly the one has no idea what the word "gluttony" means. If anything, Oprah is the opposite of gluttonous...which means to keep everything to yourself. This is a woman who gives millions to charity, builds schools for the poorest of girls in Africa, built an entire neighborhood in Katrina ravaged New Orleans and spoils her fans with cars and gifts. How is that gluttony? Clearly this woman is a moron.

The other one says to me, "She's just showing off her money, and throwing it away."

Again I say....huh?

If they knew anything about anything, they'd know that most likely, Oprah didn't pay for a damn thing. Just saying the word "iPad" from her mouth, Oprah knows that the Apple folks will gladly donate 200 of them for her audience in exchange for the publicity. When Oprah built a new home for a mother who had no arms, she must have said "Sears" and "Home Depot" a dozen times. Do you think Oprah paid for any of those appliances? Hell no...because they were happy to just be featured on her show. When Oprah spends her own money, like she did when she built those homes in New Orleans or her school in Africa, trust'll know it. But for some Uggs? Child please.

What you put out into the universe comes back to you - whether it's positive or negative. What misery must one be living in that she can't be happy for other people? Why is it so hard to enjoy watching other folks be happy? Why be jealous of people who give of themselves day in and day out? Are they that unhappy in their own life that the mere sight of other people smiling and laughing and crying for joy makes them sick? I feel sorry for for my coworkers sometimes - because their contempt for others shows how truly unhappy they are in their own lives.

Today, at 4 pm, they both muttered as they turned on their tv's, "Oprah, again?"

Umm...that's where she's been for the past 25 years - who were you expecting to see? The Grinch?

And that's why they turned on their tv in the first see what Oprah was doing today. If they can't be happy while watching the joy she brings to others, then why watch? We work at a cable network for crying out loud! - There are at least 200 other channels to turn change the channel! Perhaps they can't help themselves from watching...hopefully the joy is Oprah gives her audience...yet again, a shiny new 2012 Volkswagon Beetle!


Friday, November 19, 2010


So…let me get your thoughts on something.

Lately I’ve been reading articles about the double standard between single, Black, 40-something year old men who are successful...but choose not to get married or have children – and their counterparts who decide the same. And I’ve also read the statistics that state that 72% of black children are born to unwed mothers (parents)…which got me to wondering…

Would any of you agree that if a black man or woman, for whatever reason, decide that they never want to get married, should they NOT have children? Ever?

I ask because it seems that even though we’re not getting married, we’re certainly still having kids. Now, I’ll be the first one to tell you that children are never a mistake. They may not always be “planned” – but I believe that if you are here…God wanted you to be here. Period.

But there are those who say that black men and women who have children out of wedlock are “polluting” and/or “diluting” the gene pool of “desirable” parents for the next generation of our children. Successful, educated black men of a certain age with the means to take care of a child and provide for him/her are opting NOT to get married and have children, while "Pookie annem" are having babies all willy nilly and not taking care of them. The same can be said for black women who are choosing their career over a family, but the "Shenene’s" of the world are popping them out one by one.

I’m not saying this is true, but that is the perception. Don't shoot the messenger.

But what if the successful, educated black man/woman with the means to take care of a child actually decides to have one…but still doesn’t want to get married – then what? Should he/she be criticized for bringing a child into an “unwed” situation, even if they are an active parent in the child’s life, teaches him things, spends time with him and loves him? Or would they be contributing to the breakdown of the black family – even if they’d probably end up divorced if they got married anyway? As we've all heard by now, many feel that marriage is becoming obsolete - but being parent doesn't seem to be going out of style any time soon.

I ask because not everyone is meant to be in a monogamous relationship. Not everyone, regardless of education or status, has the tools necessary to compromise, or make the sacrifices necessary to have a successful marriage. Success in a career is VERY different than success in a relationship in many cases, so marriage may not be for everyone. Success and happiness no longer have to include a wife, a husband or a child. Sometimes a job, a cat and a Snuggie are really enough :-)

But can you be a great parent while not a great spouse? Or do you think they should go hand in hand? Is a person who would be considered a “desirable” parent selfish for not choosing to have children, or are they smart for knowing what they want or what they can or cannot handle? I’m curious to hear the answers to this one because some days I can see myself as a mother, but not a wife – and other days the opposite is true. So what say you?



Thursday, November 18, 2010

Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!

- Eagles v. Giants this weekend - gonna be a good one!

- Annamaria and I have our annual friendly wager involving her cooked food and my cheesecake...may the best Vick win! LOL!

- How come "Vick" didn't come up as incorrect in my spellcheck? What is a "vick?"

- I want cream of wheat...maple brown sugar to be exact.

- I've discovered chocolate and vanilla marshmallows - GREAT in hot chocolate! Yum!

- I have a steak marinating for dinner tonight - gonna be DELICIOUS!

- Can you tell I'm hungry? Didn't eat breakfast today.

- I had the best time with my mom and family for my mother's birthday weekend. My mother turned 60 years old on Nov. 16th...a true blessing! I love her and thank God for her every day.

- Eid Muburak to my sister, brother-in-law and nephews - and all my Muslim friends out there!

- The Republican senators have prevented the Paycheck Fairness Act from finally being brought up for a debate and receiving a vote - buffoonery.

- Everyone is crying that Brandy was robbed on Dancing with the Stars. This shouldn't surprise ANYone. Competition based reality tv is know..."not real."

- I'm terrified of snakes.

- I can't stand selfish people.

- Four out of 10 think marriage is becoming obsolete. What do you think?

- If what they say about Tony Parker is true, that's GRIMY! But not surprising, in the least.

- I can't believe Thanksgiving is next Thursday. I feel like this year just sped up! I'm making peach cobbler for the first time, wish me luck!

- Time to put the braids back in.

- Also time to get re-focused on my work-out/nutrition plan again. I've gained a few pounds back - not cute. Definitely going spinning tonight...all alone :-(

- Happy Birthday SuSu! It's also my late grandmother's birthday today as well.

- Greys and Private Practice tonight!

- What's for lunch?

- Today's throwback - a double feature!



Tuesday, November 16, 2010


Happy Tuesday!

I've been off for the past couple days, so I planned on taking off from blogging as well. I didn't ask for any guest bloggers, but DMoe hit me up this morning asking if he could get some shine. He had Mike Vick on the brain, so as a Eagles fan who had just witnessed Eagles Monday Night Football history, I figured I'd give him the floor. So I'm posting DMoe's blog from Vickadelphia....and I'll catch y'all tomorrow :-) DMoe.

I'll admit, I'm a sucker for redemption.

I confess: Yes, I wanted to see Kobe shine his tarnished public image with the “Brass-O” of hard work and dedication to win his fifth championship ring. Yes, I wanted (and am still wanting) to see Tiger Woods rise like a phoenix from his self-inflicted personal ashes to hoist some shiny new trophy. And yes, I wanted to see Michael Vick make a triumphant return to the game he could have revolutionized a few years ago. As we all know every tawdry detail of his well-documented story, Mike experienced a setback along the way.

That’s right people, I’m officially coining the legal trouble that led to “#7” becoming “#33765-183” in the Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary a “setback” after seeing Mike Vick's performance last night. It was poetry in motion, glide in stride, and an outright dominant showing that Hall of Fame quarterbacks and sports pundits have been collectively salivating over in the 15 hours since the game concluded. Aside from all that, it was quite simply fun to watch.

“Setback” is one term in use here. The other more obvious term to be spoken is: redemption.

I have a deep personal belief about redemption. Sure I’m a sucker, but it’s a bit more beyond that - I believe God sets us up, so He can knock us down. At the very moment we need greater understanding of the true nature of our success (and the role He’s played), He knocks us down so we learn to appreciate standing up again. Only then, with our newly-found footing, can He show us the true magnificence within ourselves we never knew even existed.

I think that’s what Michael Vick saw and said each time he pointed up to the heavens every time he threw or ran for a touchdown en route to last night’s record-setting performance. As good as he’s been, as amazing as his past highlights and performances have been, I think he amazed himself anew.

As the game ended last night, I thought back to a night in early November, 2008. I woke up at about 4:30am with an urge to jot down the details of a dream I just had. That night, I fell asleep to ESPN Sportscenter’s detailed accounts of “The future of Michael Vick” in the wake of his legal troubles. As Vick’s career seemed destined for permanent derailment at the hands of his conviction on charges of dog-fighting and subsequent incarceration, in the name of redemption, I had other ideas.

Dmoe’s sleeping...he’s snoring………ZZZZZZZZZZZZ……and now……he’s dreaming…

My name's Dee Moe. I'm a marketing executive for the hottest sports and entertainment agency in America.

Late one night, I'm sitting in my imported Italian theater chair watching Rocky 3 on Blu-Ray. The depth and detail of this newest digital remaster is amazing on my 104-inch screen. I'm enthralled, and loving every minute of a film I've seen at least a dozen times.

The dynamics of the film are well-known....Balboa faces his toughest challenge from a brash, street-tough boxer named Clubber Lang. Lang chides Rocky constantly, disrespects his manhood, and paints him as soft. Meanwhile, Balboa poses with newborns, cuts ribbons on business openings and signs autographs.

Across town, at 2am, Clubber Lang is doing his 1000th sit-up in a damp, dark basement dimly lit by a single light bulb. The determination is fierce as each sit-up is a painful step toward the goal, and he is relentless.

And then ---- it comes to me.

I pause the movie, grab my blackberry and start emailing my team of marketing reps. I get everyone out to my house for a meeting, and we hatch our plan:

The Return of Michael Vick

All five of the reps are seeing the vision, as I lay down piece-by-piece how this unprecedented marketing resurrection shakes out. First, we set a meeting with the league office to get clearance. Surprisingly, Commissioner Roger Goodell sees this as a great opportunity, and he gives us the go ahead. Michael will be released from prison in May of 2009, so we have to be ready.

We visit Mike at Leavenworth and he seems unexcited to see us. With his beard grown out, and hair in long cornrows, Mike seems out of touch with himself and there's no gleam in his eye. He is indeed a shadow of his former self. We sit down with him and tell him the news of 3 former Nike execs who vacated their posts to form a new sports company, and they want Michael to be the lead on the launch of the brand that will change sports forever.

The journey begins. We fly in a hand-picked team of specialists in nutrition, strength training, conditioning and sports psychologists. This innovative group of experts are poised to recreate the one we once knew as number seven. Michael is placed on strict diets, he starts each day with training at 5am, and ends with game films at 10pm. We shoot every moment of his grueling physical conditioning and no holds are barred. Between sessions, Michael does yoga and accelerated cycling classes. Within a few weeks, he is strength training on his own when he's not sleeping. The prototype is being rebuilt, and we can see the glimmer in his eyes.

This is Vick 2.0.

The advertising guys come in and document every detail. I’m thinking, “It's happening, it's actually happening.”

We wake up at 3am on a Saturday during December to newly-fallen snow on the ground. We're excited because today is the day we shoot something we've all come to know as “The Conception."

Meanwhile, Michael’s resolve continues to climb, and he has become a relentless, well-chiseled machine that hasn't put a football down in seven weeks, after not picking one up for almost a year.

A team of sports scientists have developed a newly-patented, laser-guided passing drill that shoots a beam of light on assorted targets in an area, and Michael's reflexes have responded in a most amazing way after only a few days. The challenge is to not only hit the target, but hit the target exactly where this razor thin beam of light is shown for only a millisecond. The footage is unbelievable. Between his reps of strength drills and mental acuity tests, the documenting of this campaign will change the face of athletics - forever.

“The Conception” is ready just in time for the NFL playoffs. It's halftime of the Falcons/Packers game, and for millions around the world watching the screen goes black as they cut to the first commercial.

The spot begins with rapid flashes of dirty hands, a bald head with a sweat-soaked headband, and chiseled elbows wistfully finishing the 25th set of some unnamed new type of chin-up.

A light bulb, a damp basement, and a single weight bench all flash on the screen in quick succession.

The screen goes black. The sounds of grunting determination are heard, but not seen.

And then, the eyes....only the eyes of a clean shaven Mike Vick.

Then, the screen goes black yet again.

The word "faster" ---- fades to black.

The word "quicker" --- fades to black.

The word "returns" ---- and then, a final fade to black only showing the logo of our brash new brand.

The sports world is turned on its ear, and the hype has begun. Sales for the new company's gear soars. “Conception” is a smash with buzz-worthy clips to describe football’s bionic man we have raised from the dead. Meanwhile, the marketing gurus keep giving glimpses in ads online and sprinkled throughout NFL coverage.

The campaign is simple. You couldn’t stop him BEFORE, but wait til you see him now. He’s billed as “more than a Quarterback the likes of which you've never seen.” Yet, you will never actually see him in the first series of commercials.

We buy time for our second commercial during Superbowl halftime and anticipation of the spot's release is at a fevered pitch.

This next spot, called "The Creation," features quick flashes of a chiseled, 2% body fat Mike Vick standing on a rain-soaked cement playground with football yard-markers. Mike is shown throwing a football marked #52 into a mop bucket 40 yards away.

Masterful editing depicts quick, repetitive cuts as we see his ability to drop these almost balls in buckets in various locations 40 yards away. His completion percentage in this exercise is a mind-blowing 78.2 percent.

Months of mechanics drills and thousands of footballs with the laser-guidance drills are finally paying dividends.

The screen goes black.

And then, once again - the eyes. Only the eyes are shown, with a slight pan up to a clean shaven bald-headed Mike Vick.

.....and then, the screen goes black yet again.

The word "accuracy" --- fade to black...

The word "elusive" --- fade to black...

The word "vision" ---- fade to back....

The word "returns" ---- and then, a final fade to black only showing the logo of this brash new company.

And then…I woke up.

For a moment late in the 4th quarter last night, I thought I was still dreaming, but then I realized I’m just a sucker for redemption. Apparently, so is God.


Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Happy Veterans Day and Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!

I'd like to thank all of our servicemen and women who sacrifice their time, their families and their lives defending the freedoms that we enjoy in this country. I hope you all take the time to remember and thank the veterans among your family, friends and coworkers. As the daughter, granddaughter, niece, cousin and friend of men (and women) who have served our country proudly, I appreciate your service and bravery.

- Monica finished the NYC Marathon in a little under 6 hours! Go Monica! I'm so proud of you!

- Miley Cyrus is annoying.

- Gwyneth Paltrow sings country music now?

- I have to start giving my cat Cole steroids for his tumor :-( Please pray for him. He's my baby.

- The heat doesn't get hot enough in my apartment. They're being stingy, and everyone knows I hate being cold!

- I wish I still knew how to play the piano.

- I need hair is breaking off badly due to the weather change.

- It doesn't need to get any colder than this. I don't mind when the high is 50 degrees, it's when the high is 30 degrees that I can't stand it.

- "Start Over" on Time Warner Cable is the best. I got home late from the gym, and was able to start Law & Order: SVU from the beginning instead of waiting til today to watch it on my DVR at work. They even have "Go Back" to shows that you missed in Prime in the past 2 days. Love it!

- The new girls on 16 & Pregnant are dry.

- If I say no, then that's it. I don't owe you an explanation.

- I'm becoming really annoyed by all the noise on the train and buses lately. Why are people screaming into their cell phones and talking to people who are 6 inches away from them like they're deaf? Geez! I'm in the wrong city to be complaining about noise.

- Oh, and I wanted to spank these badass kids on the train platform today. Your kids are not cute, control them. The woman told the 5 of them to use their "whisper" voice and they screamed and ran around silly for no damn reason. She needed to use a strap! I'm not saying beat your kids....but beat your kids when the "whisper" voice thing doesn't work.

- Cop gets 2 years for killing an unarmed, handcuffed Black man. Mike Vick gets just about the same sentence for killing a dog. F*ckers.

- I love my Dyson.

- I was in Nine West yesterday browsing and realized I was humming along to Christmas music. There were Christmas decorations up in Target BEFORE Halloween. It gets earlier and earlier every year.

- I love Target.

- Who are these people that still smoke cigarettes? You KNOW it can kill you, but you do it anyway? It's not considered cool or sexy anymore, so why do it? Ridiculous.

- The Biggest Loser is such an inspirational show. I always wind up shedding a tear...or three.

- Haven't caught Conan yet, but I hear he's been hysterical :-)

- Did you know they sold wedding gowns at J. Crew? Not that I was looking or anything :-)

- I hate it when people use excessive profanity in their FB statuses. I usually wind up "unfriending" them.

- I also hate when people don't spell check their statuses. I know it's only FB, but there is no "a" in the word "definitely" and no "d" in the word "congratulations."

- I wanna see Denzel's new movie Unstoppable.

- He still does it for me :-)

- I have a lot of food in my fridge that needs to be thrown away. And plenty in my freezer that I never feel like thawing out to cook.

- Last Friday, Deebo boxed me like a man. After the FIRST hour of training, he said we were "just getting warmed up." Another patron in the gym even told him, "that's enough" when they saw me sweating like a runaway slave. He promptly told her to mind her business after damn near knocking me out. My nose even started bleeding once I got in the locker room from overheating myself. He's a great trainer, but I think he's losing his damn mind.

- Someone sent me the link to the auto tune remake of MJ's "PYT" and I didn't know what it was, so I clicked on it. Pure fuckery. You don't remake ANYTHING MJ has done, but if you DO, they could have just left Robin Thicke on it...but T-Pain? FU-CKER-Y.

- Men should not wear white, pointy shoes and tight, tight jeans...together OR separately.

- MTA fare hikes again, and less service. Pretty soon it's gonna be cheaper to just drive.

- I'm always amazed at women who can commute in heels.

- Some of the men and women who perform in subways are really talented!

- First kisses are the best aren't they? :-)

- I feel like blowing off every meeting I have from now until the new year. I have 2 weeks left of vacation to take and I need every single second of it.

- My cell phone is too slippery...I keep dropping it.

- I have so much laundry to do this weekend. But I love the smell of freshly laundered clothes :)

- I feel like I've been thirsty all week - I need to drink more water.

- My lips have been chapped all week too...obviously because I'm dehydrated. Not sexy.

- Who are these people who pay contractors thousands of dollars before they do any work? How does that even make sense?

- Is the bed bug epidemic over yet?

- Pootie Tang was on HBO last night...really?

- I'm peace like that.

- And in honor of the SU basketball season starting, Brian's throwback!

When the 'Cuse is in da house...OMG...Danga!



Dear Brookey,

I wanted to get your objective opinion on something. Recently most of my girlfriends, some whom I’ve known since childhood, are disappearing on me. I noticed they started hanging out without me, or “forget” to invite me to lunch or a movie. I confronted one of my “Friends” who has since distanced herself from me and she said that she didn’t like the fact that I date married men. When I asked her if that’s how our other mutual friends felt, she said yes, which is why they don’t hang out with me anymore.

I thought friends weren’t supposed to judge you. I told her that true friends are friends through thick and thin and don’t judge, but she brushed me off. What do you think?


This is interesting, because without knowing the depths of each of your friendships and what you all have been through together, it’s hard to say either way – you can make an argument for both sides.

While I think your friends should judge you based on your heart, maybe your heart is showing them something they don’t like. Have you ALWAYS dated married men and they’ve accepted it until now? Or is this something new that you’re doing that they think isn’t really “you?” If this is new behavior, I'd hope they'd talk to you about it rather than abandoning you. But if this has always been your thing, perhaps they're just tired of it now.

Either way, a person can decide to let go of a friendship if they feel that those involved are growing apart. Most friendships, especially between women, are born and nurtured through commonality – shared interests and values. Perhaps your friends feel that your standards and values don’t fall in line with theirs, in which case they don’t see you as someone who they have anything in common with anymore. If they are turned off by your behavior or the choices you make, it’ll be hard for them to respect you – in which case any interaction with you could be seen as “fake.” Some people take adultery very seriously, and they may question your ethics and the type of person you are based on the choices you’ve made.

I’m not saying you’re a bad person, but depending on some experiences that your friends may have had or the values they hold dear, they may not look at you as a model friend. They also may not trust you around THEIR man. Most women (and men) feel that if you’ll sleep with someone’s husband with no regard to their relationship, then you’d probably sleep with THEIR man too. Women tend to keep a close eye on OTHER women they think are shady…especially when their man is concerned. They may feel that a woman who feels no shame in sleeping with another woman’s husband will feel no shame in sleeping with their man too. Although you may not cross that line and break the “girlfriend code,” your rep may be a little shaky when it comes to men.

Some of us have found ourselves involved with a married man at one point in our lives or another. We may have told ourselves that if the relationship was a good one, he wouldn’t be with "me." We find reasons to justify our behavior, even if deep down we think it’s wrong. We can either choose to continue what we’re doing, because…after all…we don’t know that woman – OR we can choose to do better because we know better. Just because you’ve made a decision to get involved with a married man in the past doesn’t mean that you have to CONTINUE doing that – either because you feel you can’t or don’t deserve better. The past choices you’ve made don’t have to define who you are now. But it seems that by consistently dating men who are unavailable to you, your friends may feel that this is EXACTLY how you are choosing to define yourself.

If you see nothing wrong with dating married men, either because you feel no obligation to the other woman, or because you seek relationships with no commitment, then that’s your business. You answer to no one but God and yourself.

But you can’t blame or be mad at your friends for exercising their right to choose who they have in their life. We should choose who we have in our inner circle very carefully, and if your morals/values don’t jive with theirs, then you’ve grown apart and it may be time to let the friendship go. If you want to keep the relationship, then talk to them about how you can change their perception of you and ask them what you can do to salvage the friendship. They may ask you to change your ways, in which case you’ll have to make a decision. If you feel you shouldn’t have to change in order to be their friend, then keep it moving. But if they speak to you from their heart and seem genuinely concerned, hear them out and consider their feelings…or try to see things from their perspective. Sometimes our friends (especially those from childhood) know us better than we know ourselves.

I hope it works out for you.


Monday, November 8, 2010

Happy Monday!

Now before you think that this is another endorsement for Tyler Perry’s new flick, hear me out. I haven’t seen For Colored Girls yet. I’ve tried to stay away from all the spoilers and blogs posted on Facebook so I can form my own opinion. I know many of my friends - both male and female - liked the film…if not LOVED it. But I will decide for myself.

That being said, what I DON’T get, are all the men who seemingly hate Tyler Perry. I’m not saying, even for a second, that black people – male or female – SHOULD like or support him. I understand that his films are not for everyone and that some don’t find Madea the least bit funny. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion about him.

But why do some Black men hate him so much? I hear from Black men that they feel as if his films bash men. But if any man has ever seen any of his films, there is usually, if not always, a GOOD black man for every bad one. Usually, the Black women are the ones who need to be enlightened by a strong, Black man. Usually, the Black man “rescues” the Black woman. If anything, I think the women are usually portrayed as needy, lost, Christian women who don’t know what to do with themselves until the good, Black man shows them the error of their ways. You can argue his movies are a bit corny, unrealistic, a bit "fairytale'ish", formulaic, cookie cutter or too preachy. But male bashing? I just don't see that...but that’s just MY take on it.

Now, since I haven’t seen For Colored Girls, I won’t say men don’t have a reason to be upset. But what I find puzzling is the backlash of the film from men who haven’t seen the movie yet. Even if you’ve seen every Tyler Perry film up until this one, why decide that you hate this particular film before you’ve even seen it? After all, this film isn’t Tyler Perry’s story, it’s Ntozake Shange’s story that he’s adapted to film. So if the content has your boxers in a bunch, just remember, he is telling the story through his lens…but it’s still not his story. Some feel that this story didn’t need to be told, but that’s another blog for another day. Either way, go see the film before you decide to be one of the many men who have considered suicide BEFORE seeing a Tyler Perry movie.

What I also found puzzling was the backlash from some men on The Black Girls Rock BET Special last night. While I will be the first to admit that I don’t normally watch BET, I tuned in to the second hour of this special last night. I loved this performance by Kelly Price, Jill Scott, Ledisi and Marsha Ambrosius.

But what I also loved were the honorees – KeKe Palmer, Iyanla Vanzant and Ruby Dee just to name a few. All of the women honored were women who have paved the way for others, made tremendous strides in their career or are trailblazers in their industry. While one could probably find a million things wrong with the production itself, the idea that “Black Girls Rock” was a positive one. So why hate on that? How can anyone criticize that message? Especially Black men?

With the onslaught of images and messages out there that paint the picture that we’re “un-date able,” “un-marriageable,” “hopelessly single,” “doomed to be unwed mothers,” “not pretty enough,” or “not good enough” – the LAST thing we need to get is the impression from our men that they co-sign that nonsense. The Facebook statuses I read last night from some Black men in my news feed made my heart ache – “Why are they doing this stupid show?” “Who are these women?” “Black girls rock? Really?” “This is wack!”

I just don’t get it.

Most men I know expect…hell, they DEMAND…to be treated like the Kings that they are (or think they are), yet have no problem tearing a woman down. The words “bitches” and “hoes” flow from their mouths freely, but expect women to bow down and kiss their feet simply because they have a penis. They’ll say we have an “attitude” or “that’s why I date ‘insert other race here’ women.” It’s hurtful. It says to us that we can’t even rely on our own men to support and love us…let alone the “rest” of the world.

And that’s why specials like Black Women Rock should exist - because if no one else believes it, at least WE should. If no one else will “big us up,” then we’ll do it ourselves. If no one else tells us that we rock, we’ll tell ourselves. And how can that inspiring vision from Ms. Bond be viewed as a negative thing?

Men, sometimes everything isn’t always about you. Oprah doesn’t have to have rappers on her show. Tyler Perry can tell a story from a feminist point of view if he wants to, and Black girls can rock without your hostility. Turn from Oprah and don’t go see any Tyler Perry films. But support your women. Tell her she’s awesome every chance you get. Don’t first think to criticize your (or any) woman when you also have the choice to uplift her. It would just be nice to have your encouragement once in a while. I'm not talking to ALL of you...just a few...

While I know some of you think that there are no good women out there who “deserve” your support, there are women out there who believe that there are no good men out there who deserve our support either…but we give it anyway. Not all of us leave a theater after seeing a "Black girl movie" wanting to bite your head off. Most good women know the difference between a movie and real life. We know that great Black men exist. Not all of us are bitches, hoes, skanks, baby mamas, attitude havin’ wenches not worthy of your praise. We carry our communities on our shoulders daily, so let us stand on yours for a change…and lift us up proudly. Tell us we rock…show us that you love us.


Thursday, November 4, 2010

Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!

I can't believe it's November already, geesh!

- I didn't feel like blogging yesterday. Something about the election had me bummed, frustrated, disappointed...jaded. It was on my mind, but not in a good way...and it just drained me. One of the things that frustrates me the most are the people who BRAG about not voting. I'm allergic to ignorance and bullsh*t. People should really be ashamed of themselves.

- Check out Ox's blog and his post midterm election thoughts - sums up how I feel beautifully.

- But God is in control of all things, and I pray that we can work together as a country.

- Please continue to pray for our President. He needs us.

- Remember this?

Former President Bush said that Kanye's comment about not caring about Black people was one of the "most disgusting moments" of his presidency. Not 9/11, not starting a fake war, not the people who DIED in those wars, and not the people who died and suffered during Katrina....but Kanye's comments. Did he go to the Tayler Swift School of Sympathy? If he's not the biggest idiot on the planet, I don't know who is.

- If you're not a racist, those comments wouldn't affect you. But the truth hurts.

- RIP Shannon Tavarez - so sad. God bless this angel's soul.

- Monica's race is 4 days away - there's still time to donate! Go Monica!

- Someone please take this Halloween candy away from me.

- Are there any groups of women going to see For Colored Girls this Friday? I know men aren't going in droves to see it :-) I hope Tyler Perry does a good job with it.

- Brian's throwback :-)



Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Happy TMI Tuesday!

I hope you all have gone out, or will be going out, to vote today. I wrote my "go out and vote" blog yesterday so I could stay true to TMI Tuesday. Normally I'd give this space over to Fury, but Domina*tricks asked me if she could guest blog for me today. I'm a bit nervous, but many of you have been calling for here it is! I will be driving to and voting in PA all morning...but maybe it's good that I'll be M.I.A for this one :-) Don't worry, I'll check in on the discussion. Here it goes...without further adieu...give it up for Domina*tricks!

I Finally Know What the Wet Spot Feels Domina*tricks

I was wondering if Brooke would allow me to post to her blog for TMI Tuesday. After all, I made no secret of how beautiful I thought she was. Perhaps she’d be too shy to post a blog from another admiring female – one who wanted to taste her lips and lick her clit. She’s probably blushing just reading this.

I know that I probably come off as a brazen, crass lesbian who also has a thing for f*cking and dominating men. Truth is, I’m simply a bisexual, curious, sexually adventurous woman who was once too shy to even write the word clit, let alone actually lick one.

I used to be your average, everyday monogamous good girlfriend. I dated only men – safe men. Men who only had sex in the missionary position, came after three strokes, and quickly rolled over to go to sleep...leaving me laying in the dry spot. No, I don’t mean “wet spot.” The spot under my ass was rarely wet...because I usually never came. Women create the wet spot...yet I had no idea what one was.

Until I met my ex-boyfriend’s sister.

She was gorgeous. We met at his family’s cookout, and I was mesmerized by her. I remembered he had mentioned that his sister was a lesbian. I didn’t think much of it, probably because I envisioned her to be this huge, manly, unfortunate looking dyke of a woman. As she turned to face me when he said, “I’d like you to meet…” I couldn’t breathe. She was stunning.

She smiled at me and gave me a warm stare. Something told me instantly that she liked what she saw. So did I. Up until then, I had never felt warmth between my legs at the gaze of a woman, but there was no mistaking that this woman was doing something to me.

But I thought to myself, “I’m not a lesbian, what is going on here?” I shook it off, thinking that maybe the wine coolers I had been drinking were a little too strong for me – being that I was a lightweight and all. Maybe the light alcohol had me imagining things...I tried to convince myself.

A few shots and Long Island Iced Teas later with my boyfriend and I was totally staring at her the entire night. Conversations of when they were kids were swirling around me and all I could think about doing was kissing her. She had a pouty, plum mouth that looked like they’d burst if you kissed them too hard. I wanted to know if they were as soft and juicy as they looked. I watched her mouth move with every word she spoke – and each time she caught me staring, she’d smile as I quickly turned away.

As the moon moved to the other side of the sky, I noticed there were only 3 people left outside in the backyard – his parents had long said their “good-nights” to us. I looked over to find my boyfriend passed out on a lawn chair, snoring like a young boy. She came over and sat next to me and put her hand on mine.

“So, did you have a good time?” She said staring intently into my eyes.

“Yes, you have a great family. You’re all so wonderful," I replied, trying to pull my hand away.

“Thank you. My brother speaks very highly of you too.”

We sat there, awkward. I had no idea what to say to her – I was too busy staring at her baby soft skin.

“So will you be staying the night?” She asked sliding her hand off of mine, onto my thigh, then into her own lap.

“No, I couldn’t possibly. Besides, I have some things to do in the morning. I should get going.”

“Okay. How are you getting home? I’m sure you know that he’s a heavy sleeper,” pointing to my man. “He’s not waking up, so you might as well stay.”

“I can call a cab,” I say, even though I really didn’t want to.

“Let me take you home then, I’ll get my keys.”

Before I could object, she was up with her purse and keys in her hand ready to go. She smelled so good, fragrant perfume intoxicating me. I got in the passenger’s side and clicked myself in. She turned and smiled at me. “Lead the way,” she sexy.

We arrive at my apartment and sit there. I thank her for the ride, and tell her how great it was to meet her and her family. As I unlocked my door, she reached over and took my hand. As I turned to look at her, she kissed me. Not a peck, not a quick “smooch.” A long, lingering kiss. I’m sure it was only 10 seconds long at most, but it felt like an eternity. A blissful eternity.

I don’t know if it was the Long Island Ice Teas or her perfume, but somehow we ended up tumbling into my living room, onto my couch, kissing, reaching, stroking...until we eventually reached my bedroom. Everything was a blur. Clothes were strewn about, my hands were running through her long, silky hair and her fingers were inside of me. That night was the first time I had ever tasted a vagina...and allowed a woman to taste mine.

She made me feel things I’d never felt before with any man. She was soft, patient, caring, considerate, passionate and intense. She took her time. She made sure I was comfortable...and satisfied. I finally knew what a wet spot felt like.

The next morning, my boyfriend called to apologize profusely for passing out on me and for having his sister drive me home. Little did he know, she also drove me crazy...and I counted the days, hours and minutes until I saw her again. Things didn’t last too much longer with my boyfriend and I after that, but I continued to secretly date his sister behind his back for about a year after we broke up. He always appreciated that I was “cool enough” to remain his friend after our break up - so much so that I had no problem “stopping by” to all of his family cookouts...and to visit his sister :-)

- Domina*tricks

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