Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Perception is Reality

Happy Tuesday!

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday break! Whether you celebrate or not, a few days off never hurt anybody…so I hope it was eventful and/or restful for you all.

This morning on my train ride to work, this woman was lamenting about her life and all the mistakes she’d made, the opportunities she didn’t take advantage of and the choices she could have made that would have changed her life forever. She thought she’d be in a different place by now, and for the duration of my commute to work, I felt sorry for her.

Before I got off at my stop, her friend told her that she was being miserable, and that where she was today is exactly where she was supposed to be. To that, the woman responded, “So you’re telling me that if you could go back in time, there’s nothing you would have done differently?”

I had to get off the train before I could hear her friend’s response, but it made me ponder the answer myself.

I would have studied abroad in Spain for a semester if I could go back to my college days.

I would have listened to my mother more when it came to certain guys I had a crush on.

I would have played basketball in college when offered the opportunity.

I would have bought a place once I moved to NY instead of anticipating not liking it here, or not being able to survive here…7 years later.

I would have taken a chance on sports broadcasting.

I would have bought those shoes :-)

Hindsight being 20/20, there are a million things I would have done differently if I knew then what I know now. But the reality is, I didn’t know then what I know now…and that’s what learning is all about.

Yes, I could have done a semester abroad, but what great experience would I have missed out on while at Syracuse? I could have listened to my mother more when it came to certain guys, but I learned valuable lessons of what NOT to do from those relationships. I could have bought a place here, but not been able to afford it because I jumped the gun and/or didn’t research/plan correctly. And those shoes…? They’re out of style now.

The point is, I feel that without having gone through life’s uncertainties, the ups and downs and making mistakes, how can we discover ourselves? You have to walk in the rain to experience the rainbow. You have to know sadness to appreciate happiness. You have to make mistakes in order to learn and grow.

Missed opportunities teach us that we should not live life in fear…to take a chance every once in awhile. The woman on the train sounded like a person who allows her fears to define her, and in that fear, she lives her life with regrets. What I feel she (and I) can learn from the “would’a, could’a, should’as” is to embrace the fear, stare it in the face and channel it differently.

Fear has a purpose. It can be the engine that drives our intellectual, emotional and spiritual progress…our evolution. Don’t be afraid to make a mistake. Don’t be afraid of failure. Be afraid of not trying. Be afraid of not loving. Be afraid of not living.

The better way of living is not without problems, challenges, tragedies or regrets – but in the way we deal with them. Instead of wishing you lived in a different world, create the world you want to live in. Perception is reality.

If you are constantly looking at your past with regret, you can’t shape and appreciate your bright future. We literally can create the world we want to live in through our minds and project it outward. Accept your past, make peace with your decisions, and begin again. Embrace a new paradigm to guide your personal life to one of fulfillment. Have faith, and believe it possible.



Stef said...



Anthony Otero said...

lol...stef is feeling real good right about now...

Stef said...

Yes, I am!!!

I missed the blog family! Even you Ant! :-)

BatMan said...

Good for you stef, finally you are FIRST!! LOL

Stef said...

Yes, finally!

Brooke, your blog was very inspiring today! You should write an inspirational book...and an erotic one! Fury can do the forward blurb :-)

Anonymous said...

Once again (as usual) very well said Brooke. I for one, think you would make a great sportscaster on ESPN. They need some female (Stuart Scott like) flava' up in there. Never too late!

Monica said...

Well said Brooke!

Anonymous said...

You could bring a "Poetic Justice" to the world of sports! Think about it!

Brooke said...

thanks everyone!

I would LOVE to be a sportscaster! You never know - I may just have to try it :)

Anthony Otero said...

I completely agree with your assessment Brooke. I am not sure I could change anything that has occurred in my life because then I would be changing who I am...and I like who I have become.

The question is..are people who regret the past the ones that ultimately not like themselves?

Anonymous said...

Stef's right. I'd buy that book in a heartbeat!!!!!!!!!!!!

annamaria said...

I agree Brooke. Our experiences are what shape us and make us who we are. Although there may be things I've had to endure that might have been difficult or hurtful I wouldn't necessarily change them because it made me who I am....

Anonymous said...

Hey Brooke,

No better time like the present! I'm sure you got material now in your closet of rhetoric and your way with poems...amazingly beautiful!

Jay said...

Brooke, this blog is exceptional, as always.

And Ant, I think you may be right, people who live in regret can't be happy with themselves, because otherwise they'd realize that those experiences, no matter how bad or hurtful, made them (or should have made them) wiser and stronger. If you can make it through, you have to learn the lesson.

I would buy any book Brooke wrote too :)

Brooke said...


The only thing I have so far is a tape of me in college talking about Felipe Lopez :) LOL!

I just wanna crack jokes in the studio :) And I won't even wear any skimpy outfits in the locker room :)

Brooke said...

oh, and thanks Jay!


I think people who live in past regrets fail to realize that challenges and mistakes are essential to our growth and development. Most of us don't trust that our mistakes and the lessons we should learn from them come to us in a way that meets our need grow and change at that particular moment. Instead of looking at the past as a mistake, we should try to figure out the lesson so that we don't make the same mistakes over and over again - or so that we can recognize an opportunity when one presents itself to us. Otherwise, life has no purpose.

JUSTBNME said...

Brooke, once again, GREAT blog! This is why I read everyday!♥ I also am a firm believer that we are exactly where we are supposed to be. Personally, the only thing that I would change in my life is being abused as a child - although I had no control over that. The decisions that I was able to make for myself, while they may not have ALL been the absolute best decisions, they were beneficial in some way. I am a better Mom to my children because of what happened in my past, and I am a better person because of my experiences. Have a great night everyone.

JUSTBNME said...

Also, I'm reposting a sentence for my FB status..FYI and Thank You!♥

Brooke said...

Glad you liked it!

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