Monday, April 5, 2010
Happy Monday y'all!
I'll be glad when my cold is completely gone. This sucks.
Anyway, I thought I'd ask a question of the day today.
Do you think Sex Addiction is real, or just something people are now using as their excuse/reason for cheating?
Eric Bonet cheats on Halle Berry? "I'm a sex addict."
Tiger Woods has a gazillion jumpoffs? "I'm a sex addict."
Jesse James smashes a swastika tatted hoochie? "I'm a sex addict."
All these fools in rehab. Dr. Drew made a name for himself off of sex addicts.
But do you think sex addiction is a real disease? If so, do you think the men listed above suffer from it, or are they using a real affliction as an excuse for their infidelity?
After all, if you surf the net all day every day looking at porn and spend all your money on hookers, you MIGHT have a problem. But if you're simply incapable of being faithful or you don't believe monogamy is natural - can you use sex addiction as a "get out of jail free" card?
Tell me what you think, Go!
-b
21 comments:
FIRST B*TCHES
Dammit Monica! Where did you come from!?
Tasing Monica!!!! LOL
Anywho.. Yea I believe that there is such a thing BUT that doesn't excuse the fact that they cheated.
If you know you are a sex addict there are 2 VERY simple ways to handle it. Marry a fellow sex addict OR DON'T GET MARRIED & FUCK WHOEVER YOU WANT WHENEVER YOU WANT!!!
And why do all these idiots suddenly come up with the epiphany that they are sex addicts after they get caught??? Like they woke up this morning & was like OH SHIT I'M A SEX ADDICT???? WTF
I think this is a true problem but I'm a lil suspect about ALL of the people mentioned actually suffering from it.
Personally, I think it's a crock! I feel like being a sex addict is the new fad among celebrity men. At the end of the day you are a cheater...plain & simple. You cheated on your woman, violated your relationship, and embarrassed her and yourself in the process. They should be ashamed to even use sex addiction as a scapegoat. It's an easy way for them to excuse and validate why they did it, by pretending they have a "problem"
LMAO! Sorry Stef!
Annamaria I miss being tased by you! LOL
Those jokers aren't sex addicts, they just got caught!
I believe sexual addiction is real, but I think all these celebrities are using it as an excuse for cheating. It's not like their surfing the net looking at porn or spending all their time with hookers. These men are just dogs and got caught. As soon as they get caught, NOW all of a sudden they're sex addicts. Get the fuck outta here! Whatever.
I think there ARE people who spend all their time and money on porn, prostitutes, pleasuring themselves, etc., but I think it becomes addiction when they can't control it and it consumes them to the point where they can't function - THEY are addicts.
But these "celebrities"? - NO. They just got caught cheating and don't know how to keep their dicks in their pants!
I think sex addiction is real. Some of the people Dr. Drew cheated on the show had really severe signs of it. However, I think the "I cheatedm I'm a sex addict" thing is something the celebs are fooled into believing or something they do to win back favor from either the spouse or the public.
Eric Benet said himself he only did it because Halle told him that he had to in order to repair their relationship. I agree a sex addict would show more severe signs than stepping out on their boring married sex life...
I've known people who went into marriage for love because of the adage "sex is temporary, but that won't be the end all forevr." only to end up cheating because it's not the end all but damn if it aint the middle somewhere.
They call me The Fury and I like to have sex, but I'm no addict
I'd think Fury was a sex addict, with his freaky self! LOL!
I've been gone for a while, but now I return...
Sex addiction IS real. But as everyone has alluded to, most of these celebs use it as a tool to either repair the marriage or to repair their public image.
REAL sex addiction has roots in many other things than just sleeping with people and being horny, as you can see if you ever watch Dr. Drew's "Celebrity Sex Rehab". You watch it and find out it has less to do with sex but more to do with patterns of abuse, rape, molestation and drug abuse that the victims have gone through and use the sex as a way to detach themselves. Sometime,s they equate it with being close to someone or feeling love that they don't get elsewhere. And many times, the lifestyle they are involved in dictates that they live this promiscuous lifestyle, and they then become addicted to the behaviors of that lifestyle - including the sex.
I actually did some research on this a while ago to check it's validity - it is definitely REAL. But like I said - I've never heard of or seen a REAL sex addict whose problems weren't so much more than sex. And even on Dr. Drew's show, if you tune thinking you're gonna see a bunch of honey people dying to hump, you'll be SADLY mistaken. Those people are F'D UP.
These celebs are mostly simply cheaters told by their management and "people" to do it cuz it looks good.
I agree with Rameer.
With that being said, Eric Benet already admitted in an in-depth interview a couple of years ago that he wasn't an addict. Halle had forced him to go to the rehab to try to save face and he went to see if he could save his marriage. Apparently you have to fill out one of those 100 or so-questioned psych exams upon entry and he got about 97% wrong according to what they were looking for. The doc came out and was like "why are you here?" and he said "'cause my wife sent me". lol Personally I thought that was hysterical.
As for the others, I don't know enough about JJ, but from what I could gather on Tiger, he clearly has a lot of unaddressed non-publicized (which I highly respect- we the public do not need to know his business) issues if dude can't get to sleep on a regular. If he's taking Ambien every night, then his mind is full of horrors or stresses that won't allow it to shut down.
With THAT being said, if he is truly a sex addict, one would think that his wife could take care of that... if she was there. Why the heck is dude traveling alone to the likes of Vegas? Most of the 16-18 side-hoes are from Vegas. Others are scattered across the world, but his kids weren't old enough to be a hendrance to travel for Ms. Elin. Her butt should've been right up in there like HEYYYY!!! U can be supportive and an additive without beind a c-blocker. If that's your husband, you're being a c-protector.
So what do you all think-- was she being very "trusting" or very idiotic?
KP - I've heard someone offer the exact take you just did, and she got shot down (this was closer to when the story broke). So I'm curious to see what people on the blog have to say...
I hope you guys ignored my typos - I meant "tun in", not just "tune"...and I meant "horny", not "honey"...
I don't think Tiger Woods is a sex addict, so I'm sure his wife doesn't think he's a sex addict either - so she probably felt no need to travel with him everywhere. If a man is going to cheat, then he's going to cheat. She might be a bit naive, or maybe she knew exactly what he was doing and didn't care. Either way, it's not her responsibility to keep him faithful, HE has to do that.
When you're in love, you should trust your husband. Most women do because we assume our man won't cheat on us because they love us. Or at least we HOPE they won't. Who knows what goes down in Tiger's house, but many people were shocked that Tiger not only cheated, but with as many women as he did. Most people didn't look at him "that way." I wasn't particularly shocked, but with the image he has, a lot of people were surprised Tiger was capable of that. Maybe Elin was just as shocked.
I find it hard to believe she didn't know about it, but at the same time...who knows? No one can know, and being married to a world famous athlete, I'm sure one has their doubts. But I don't think she needs to be the one traveling around making sure he stays faithful either. Like Stef said, if he wanted to be faithful, he would be. She can't go EVERYWHERE with him, and if he has it in his mind to cheat, then he will.
I know men who cheat who say their wives give them all the sex they want. It has nothing to do with being deprived. They might just enjoy sex with new people, or they're bored with the sex they're having, or they enjoy the thrill of the chase. Elin could have been swinging from the chandeliers when Tiger was there, who knows?! We can't blame her for his infidelity any more than he can blame sex addiction for it.
The men you named in the blog cheated because they wanted to, not because they're sex addicts.
Like everyone else said, I DO believe sex addiction is real, but those men don't suffer from it. It's a shame because I think they're making light of a real affliction. It needs to be taken as serious as any other illness, and these dudes are just trying to repair their damaged relationships and celebrity status.
That being said, it's not Elin's fault either. No woman is gonna make her man be faithful by traveling with him everywhere he goes. Blaming the wife isn't cool, the blame lies with him. If he couldn't stay true to his vows, he should have stayed single.
Well said Jay. If a man is gonna cheat he will find a way to do it EVEN if she was with him on every trip... you can't even blame the hoes he cheated with because it wasn't their job to keep him faithful. HE took the vows HE needed to live by them.
Would anyone by sympathetic to Elin if the situation was reversed OR is it only ok for the superstar to use the excuse???
I'm not trying to blame Elin nor am I saying that it is a spouses duty to keep their spouse faithful. But I am saying that being supportive and being a cop are two different things. You can go out and have a good time with your spouse without making them feel like they are on lockdown. And if you let your spouse travel all over the place without you, you can also make them feel like you really don't care. Does it make it okay for them to cheat? Absolutely not. Does it make them more open to cheating? Absolutely.
I don't know if I agree with that necessarily...at least in Tiger's case anyway. For all we know, she could WANT to go with him and he tell her no. Maybe he doesn't make her feel welcome or invite her.
At the end of the day, the responsibility is on him. I doubt he's saying "Babe, come with me to Vegas cuz I love and miss you" and she's saying "no." At the end of th day, as a man, he has to make the decision to be faithful or not. He chose not to.
Well you're definitely right about that. And I certainly don't know what went into Tiger's decision to go buck wild.
But in having several friends in high-post positions in life, I have been exposed to a lot in various industries. And if you look beyond the laughter and what not, you can see the jealousy in the eyes of the "single married folk"- it's what we call them when they are constantly out smooshing (often-times work related) without their "better half" as they witness the couples that are either within the groups or in the vicinity that are really having a good time. Unfortunately we do take bets on how much time before we hear of a shoe dropping, and almost always, someone gets a big payout. The reality is that people with these big jobs/posts/careers have huge egos-- no matter how humble they are or appear. And heck, you don't have to have a big job to want attention. I think so many people are so afraid of being perceived as smothering their spouse or loved one that they forget it's ok to hang out with them when they are out. After all, if everyone else is cheering them on or finds them cool to hang with, it becomes hard to take if the person that is supposed to mean the most to you doesn't treat you as such as well. Does that mean that one has to go everywhere or do everything with their spouse? No. Does it mean that one shouldn't trust their spouse to have a night with "The Guys/Gals"? No. But those marriages (there are a few) that indeed have their problems but seem to be void of outsiders are those who genuinely enjoy being around each other... so the times out apart are fewer than those together.
I'm sorry, but Tiger was rolling like he was straight up single. If his marriage wasn't publicized, outside of a few tourneys here and there where his wife was present, you would never know he was married. That's a problem.
I do believe sex addiction is real and as Rameer said, it is rooted in a history of abuse.
That being said, these "celeb" types (many of whom already think they are entitled to special treatment anyway) who go to sex rehab are just GREEDY! They have a plethora of poontang available to them, so why not dabble in it? If I have a platter of brownies on my desk, I'm gonna eat 'em. If there's a plethora of poon in front of you and you already believe the world is yours... what do you do, go on a diet?
I don't think we thought about Tiger being married or not simply because he's insanely private. Even if his wife was present, no one talked about her because he didn't talk about his business. It's not like he was flaunting these tricks. We still wouldn't know about them if it wasn't for the fact that he crashed his ride outside of his house. That's when the floodgates opened.
As for your other points tho, I agree. I think in other industries/circles, if your spouse isn't present, that sends a message. Most men and women cheat because they get attention, validation, accolades from someone other than their spouse...and they fill a void. Not sure if that's the case with Tiger, or any of these other celebs, but if a man feels either like his wife doesn't support him, or she's shining brighter than him (Eric Bonet, Jesse James) that might cause them to seek out women who adore them since their ego is bruised.
Tiger actually got caught twice. First time, he was able to cover it by offering up an interview in exchange for killing the story (allegedly).
Second time, he was warned about the story going public and that's when all hell broke loose because his wife found out. It's similar to how John Edwards was found out, then covered up then found out again.
The mainstream media isn't finding out about these "sex addictions." It's the tabloids who uncover them. I think that has a lot to do with whether people take these stories seriously or not. Either way, regardless of how private Tiger is, clearly something went on somewhere. There are stories of his father's drinking and womanizing as well. So, aside from his celebrity possibly fueling his cheating, like Rameer said, maybe there was some abuse in his past that caused him to de-value women or the institution of marriage.
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