Brookey's Cafe Blog

Happy Hump Day!


I know I'm late, but I've been putting out fires all morning at work. It's hard enough being here on a fabulous, gorgeous day...but to actually work too? The nerve of them making me earn my paycheck! ;-)


At lunch time, I escaped and sat in the little park around the corner eating salad with Monica...soaking up the warm sun. After we finished, she headed back to work while I stopped and got a much needed mani/pedi. My toes were jacked, and you can't be rocking sandals with chipped polish on your toes. Not cute.


As I was sitting getting my legs massaged with scented lotion, I noticed a woman making the most ugly screw face I'd ever seen. I followed her gaze out the window to see a woman walking across the street, switching with a "I know I'm the shiznit" walk, rocking a short, black dress. It was fitting her snugly, but the dress hugged her curves in a sexy way. I wasn't mad at her in the least...after all, it IS 86 degrees outside. She didn't look trashy. She just looked...hot...I guess. Either way, ole girl sitting in the other pedi chair seemed to be disgusted at what she was looking at, so I figured she must have been looking at something else - because the woman crossing the street didn't seem to warrant a gas face like THAT.


Five minutes later, Pedi Girl's friend saunters up into the nail salon.


"Girl, you still not done?" she says taking a seat in the empty chair next to her.


Pedi Girl: "No. But let me tell you about this hoochie I saw crossing the street just now. She had on this tight ass dress, looking all stank. She was sticking her butt out walking all crazy with all her stuff hanging out. This weather is bringing them all out I guess."


I was sitting there listening to her describe this woman in detail...but the details were exaggerated. And the level of hate that spewed from her mouth was toxic. Everyone in the salon gave each other a look like, "Wow...what a hater!"


It was unprovoked and unnecessary. And sad.


Why do some women do this to each other? You know the type I'm talking about. The ones who are not happy unless they're tearing someone else down. The ones who can't wait to talk about someone else. Women who unnecessarily display a negative attitude toward another woman for trivial or no apparent reason.


You've seen her.


- She's not happy if no one notices how fabulous SHE is.

- She's always pointing out other people's flaws instead of realizing that no one is perfect - even her.

- She only speaks when she has something negative to say, but never compliments anyone else...as if doing so will make her melt or turn to stone.

- If you disagree with her, you must be jealous.

- It's always someone else, never HER that needs to be checked.


The ironic thing is the woman kept saying, "Sistas need to have more respect for themselves rather than wearing skimpy clothes."


Maybe that's true in some instances. But in this case, the woman walking across the street didn't look trashy, and she wasn't spilling out all over the place. She embellished the truth simply so she could hate - which is ridiculous.


But more important, sistas need to stop hating on other sistas. Women need to stop hating on other women - period. Instead of talking about the sista, why not try to uplift one? It's always the ones commenting in the name of "sisterhood" that are guilty of being the very ones to tear another one down. How about this: if you don't have anything nice to say, keep it to yourself! Who cares what you think? The woman walking across the street didn't do anything to you...and why do you care what she's wearing anyway?


If you're happy with yourself and love yourself, chances are you don't really have time to hate on anyone else. I find that usually the woman hating on a thin chick is the one who secretly wishes she could shed a few pounds. Most times, the woman who comments on the girl walking down the street with her stomach out wishes she had a six pack herself. The ones talking about the next woman's weave probably can't grow her hair past her chin and wishes she had long locks...or the nerve to rock a weave. The one telling her girlfriend that she's "loose" because she has a lot of male suitors probably is hating because she hasn't had a date in months. The list could go on. Not saying this is always the case, but you get what I'm saying.


Women who are comfortable with themselves, feel good about themselves, love the way they look, and are happy with their position in life do not hate on other women. Women who do not feel that they are lacking in any given area do not hate on other women. And if you're not happy with something in your life - fix it. Don't hate on someone else because that's the only way you can feel good about yourself. Don't tear someone else down just to lift yourself up. It's a false sense of pride, and only satisfies your ego but for so long.


Are there always going to be women hating on other women? Absolutely. Just don't be one of them. True happiness comes when you're too busy being fly to notice the flaws in other people.


-b