Monday, April 25, 2011

Happy Monday!

So yesterday, I was told to “Hurry up and have a baby.”

Yeah…let me get RIGHT on that.

But the woman who told me to hurry up took it one step further and added, “and you should have a baby with a white guy.” When I asked why, she said, “because then your baby would be beautiful…with good hair.”

blank stare....


So is Tiny stunning? She has light skin and “good hair” (a term I hate with all my being!)



It never ceases to amaze me that this type of ignorance - being color struck - still exists in 2011. Hundreds of years ago, slave masters pitting slaves against each other by dividing them by complexion in order to minimize a rebellion is one thing – but today? Now? Really?

Several centuries later, here we are…still simple enough to believe the hype. This topic will never die because people refuse to stop being ignorant. I do not have light skin, and my hair has tight curls. Does that make me the dog face girl? Are my children doomed to be “ugly” if they aren’t bi-racial or if I don't find some "light skinned dude with 'good hair'" to procreate with?

Stop the madness.

At age 38, my only concern is if I’ll even be ABLE to give birth to a healthy child naturally. I’d rather my child have big ears, big lips, dark skin and textured hair if that means he or she won’t be born with Downs Syndrome or autism. I’ve never met a parent who thought their child was ugly…or even funny looking. All parents think their child is beautiful, and I’m sure no matter what my child looks like, I’ll be no exception. As long as he or she has is born healthy with the required amount of fingers and toes, I'd feel nothing less than blessed.

Skin color and hair texture don’t make you any more or less beautiful than anyone else. It doesn’t make you smarter, or a better athlete or a good person. It’s superficial, divisive and outright ridiculous to think that skin color and/or hair texture determines anything of substance when it comes to who we are as people. Beauty comes from within, and if you can’t free yourself from toxic thinking, then you are…in the year 2011….still a slave.


-b

33 comments:

annamaria said...

FIRST BITCHES

YIPPEEEEE I CAN CURSE AGAIN!

BatMan said...

I don’t mean to disrespect, but Tiny is not attractive at all!!!!!

Stef said...

I just missed it!

Anywho - Tiny is ugly as hell - a prime example of someone who is light skinned with "good hair" who is NOT pretty.

There are ugly people of all complexions and hair types. And beauty is in the eye of the beholder anyway. I'm sure Tiny could care less if I think she's pretty or not, so long as T.I. does. It doesn't matter.

To say that you'd automatically have a pretty child because they'd be light or biracial is silly and foolish. Brooke, your child will be beautiful because you're a beautiful person - inside and out - and you'd raise your child to be a good person...which is what will make him or her beautiful.

Ms. Penn said...

You're right, this topic will never go away so long as there is racism in the world, ingrained in us from centuries ago. It's unfortunate that people like the one who said that nonsense to you don't even recognize how ignorant they are and actually SAY those things out loud.

All children are beautiful because they exist and GOD'S children. Anyone who thinks otherwise is clueless, superficial and delusional.

The Cable Guy said...

As Brooke would say, that comment was pure fuckery. Never ceases to amaze me. There are more people out there than you think who are still hung up on skin color and hair, and I don't think it's going to stop any time soon.

Courtney said...

I could see not wanting to have Flavor Flav's baby for fear that they may come out looking like a Gremlin, or having a baby with a dwarf...but are we still on skin color and hair texture in 2011? That amazes me. I know people are entitled to their choices and preferences, but light skin and "good hair" doesn't always pre-suppose "beauty." Your kid could look like anything, you never know, but it doesn't matter cuz you'd love it regardless. Just stupid.

Annamaria said...

My kid is dark with good hair & is absolutely gorgeous & I dare anyone say she isn't!!!!

Brooke you should have TASED the hell out of that IGNORANT heiffer because
1. having a kid with a white guy wouldn't guarantee that your baby has "good" hair... heck I had a baby with a black guy so all of that was up in the air & at the end of the day as long as my Soso was healthy we didn't care.
2. ANYONE having a baby cares about the baby being healthy.. who the hell cares about anything else..I have a nephew that is LIGHT SKINDED WITH "GOOD" HAIR AND he has Down's.. Guaranteed if they had a choice my brother would rather a healthy black as tar kid with "bad" hair.

The funny thing is I get this a lot too.
Stupid: where r u from?
Me: I'm Puerto Rican
Stupid: But your dark skinned???
ME: Can you hold still while I charge my taser????

People's stupidity is ENDLESS.. And I am SURE the woman who told u this was a good "CHRISTIAN" woman who just came outta church too...

and Tiny is ASS CRACK UGLY..NO disrespect

Annamaria said...

In reading this blog over again you can tell this person didn't GENUINELY care about you. Because a person that loves you will tell you to hurry up & find your soulmate.. Or find a good man that treats you right that wants kids...
This trick told you to basically just meet any random white dude out there & have a baby...

Charles Manson was white, Jeffrey Dahmer.. WHITE... Charlie Sheen WHITE.. NUFF SAID

The Cable Guy said...

I love how Anna said "ass crack ugly" and then followed it with " no disrespect." LMAO!!!

Ms. Penn said...

I agree with Annamaria, this person should be advising you to have a baby with someone who will love you, care for you and the baby, and help you raise it to be a great human being. Clearly, you have your head on straight because you could be out here having babies with just any ole guy, or a light skinned or white guy just to have one. You don't have children "just because" or light heartedly - nor do you have them with someone just so they look a certain way. Children should be conceived in love, not based on some punnet square. Unbelievable.

Annamaria said...

@Cable guy....Cuz that's plain old fuckery...

Anonymous said...

I Agree with Annamaria and BatMan, Tiny is a BUSTED "Lightskin chick with good hair".
VERY BUSTED, no disrespect.

The Cable Guy said...

I also love how Brooke put up Tiny's mug shot photo. Of course she'd be ugly in that!

But then again, Tiny looks busted all the time...so the mug shot actually looks BETTER.

Annamaria said...

umm Tiny is BUSTED when she is all made up & posing for a picture.. Let's not pretend that she is only busted cuz it's her mugshot. She UGLY.. LOL

Stef said...

Wait...Brooke, you're 38???

Damn, I thought you were like 28! Black really don't crack! You go girl, with your pretty self!

no homo :)

Annamaria said...

@Stef... that's why she shouldn't be looking for no skin cracking light skinded dude! LMAO

Malik said...

If I had it my way I would ban all weaves, perms, and skin destroying skin lighteners like they banned the Nikab in France LOL.

However, we live in a free market (or expression) system in America and you have to let people, as the Brits say "carry on", even if it's to their own cultural and psychological detriment with self-hatred to boot. (not that self-hatred plays a role all the time, but it's enough that it's a damn problem in many communities). My wife is Arab and they suffer from the same dark-skin light-skin issue in the Middle East. Skin lighteners are huge out there, especially Egypt. Let's not forget India. They are caught up in that nonsense too. Just look at Bollywood.

Lets not forget the term "Fair Skin", which is just as absurd. This light skin/ good hair issue is not going to go away. It's big business to have "beige" negroes everywhere. I got nothing again beige people but just sayin'

Interesting article on this:
Skin-Deep Discrimination
http://abcnews.go.com/2020/GiveMeABreak/story?id=548303&page=1

(sorry for posting and deleting but I forgot to check follow-up and fixed some spelling errors)

Jay said...

@Malik,

I love the articles you post, keep 'em coming.

And you're right, it's not just US who think that "light or white is right" and "black is wack." This is a worldwide mindset.

Brooke, if you have a child, your child with be beautiful because it's yours. Forget what anyone else thinks, cuz someone is always attractive or unattractive to SOMEONE. Eye of the beholder. So long as the baby is healthy, that's all that matters. People worry about the wrong thing.

The Cable Guy said...

LMAO @ "beige negroes" LMAO!

Rameer The ILLAbstract said...

Not too much more for me to add that others haven't already said.Ignorance and self-hatred are going nowhere - truth be told, both conditions are GROWING. Such is life.

I'd just leave - there is no such thing as good hair. That term is absurd to me. Hair is beautiful in all textures and types. And light skin certainly doesn't mean attractive - but I'm not going to list the number of ugly-arse light-skinned celebs out there, as well as ugly-arse whites...to even approach it from that vantage point SCREAMS ignorance.

Geeque said...

It’s funny that you would bring up this topic Brooke. One of the biggest fads in Jamaica now is skin bleaching!!

Yes, SKIN Bleaching!!! LOL

Geeque said...

http://mdjonline.com/view/full_story/12912364/article--Lightening--strikes---Skin-bleaching-a-growing-problem-in-Jamaica?instance=lead_story_left_column

Brooke said...

I don't see how anyone could bleach their skin. Fuckery.

JD said...

We light skinned Al B Sure looking brothers are making a come back!!!!!!!

A-buzzz said...

@JD... look who's playing Daddy to to Al B. Sure's woman & son...
A dark skinned nappy headed dude... LOL

Matter of fact has anyone even SEEN Al B Sure in the past 10 years??? LOL

Malik said...

(this the third time posting this but it seem like blogger thinks this is spam because of so many links. I've removed the hrefs so you'll have to copy and paste the links)

@thx Jay.

Word Geeque. I'm going to visit fam in Jamaica in a couple months and I'm shocked. Keep in mind that Nardo Ranks came out with Dem a Bleach in 1992 and this madness is still going on. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTWEgiOrSb8

One of the things wifey and I are doing is we are sending our child to a diverse school which means whites are the minority and there is a collection of all cultures ranging from black to latino to African to West Indian, etc. I've already heard of the horror stories of non-white kids going to all white schools only to be ridiculed while the white children (not their fault because it's the parents coupled with media reinforcement) reinforce the same self-hatred that has been systematically bled into the culture for hundreds of years. To add insult to injury many black folk in powerful media circles have decided to carry the baton and assist in reinforcing doubt about our natural dark skin and beauty (nose, lips, hair texture, etc). On the flip side that CNN piece where they showed children who were biased toward light skin, show that self-hatred breeds within:

http://articles.cnn.com/2010-05-13/us/doll.study_1_black-children-pilot-study-white-doll?_s=PM:US

Many of the dark skin children who had biases grew up in all black communities with proud black parents which shows that we reinforce those biases in our communities (without out white folks explicitly telling us we are ugly) unconsciously.

If this is not enough evidence, check out this video that will blow your wig back, whether you got an afro wig or permed wig is irrelevant. :-). I could not get through this whole video, it was too painful.

Light Skinned vs Dark Skinned
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwG5y7OY8Mw

Stef said...

Malik, the video was crazy!

Anonymous said...

anyone who uses the term "good hair" with any seriousness in this day and age gets a serious side eye. even when people try to talk about the ridiculousness of the topic but will be like "i mean, *my* child has good hair, but it's such a silly term" blah blah blah. even some people who say they believe it's an antiquated term still give themselves away and show that they place value in 'good hair' in the way they discuss the topic. it's so silly.

Jay said...

@Anonymous,

I agree...that term is absurd, as many have pointed out already.

Sillouette said...

Hey Blog Fam!!!

Sorry im late but had a busy day!!
Skin color complexes are Ignorant..People are beautiful not for their complexions but for who they are inside. AND there is NOOOO promises that just becuase you have a mixed child or they are light skinned that its a sure thing that the child will be CUTE!!!! I have seen plenty light skinned/mixed individuals that look that the nightmare before Christmas.. SO who ever thinking that BS need to sit down and get a grip....

Anonymous said...

People should have kids when they are emotionally financially ready and have a stable foundation for them that's ideal but it doesn't always work like that. I think its sad that in this day and age you have ppl making such ignorant comments in reference to having a kid due to age or skin color. Beauty comes in all colors and we should strive to enhance what we have and not fall prey to this ridiculous self loathing many ppl believe.

Serena W. said...

I'm so mad that I missed yesterdays blog!

Who is this woman that told you to have a baby with a white guy and to hurry up? There are some real ignorant people in the world. They don't even think before they speak!

As you said Brooke, as long as my baby is healthy (and I pray on that every day) that's all that matters. Some people really don't get it and unfortunately the ignorance isn't going away any time soon.

I have/had friends (only a couple) to say some ignorant things during my pregnancy about it and they got quickly written off. Buffoons!

And Brooke you'd be a great mother! I can't wait for the day and don't listen to dumb a**es that say hurry up (sorry...that comment by that person got under my skin y'all).

A day late and a dollar short but someone will read my comment. Ciao!

Brooke said...

I read it! and you're right!

and thank you - I hope I don't miss the opportunity :-)

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