Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Happy Tuesday!

So on my train ride to work this morning, I overheard two women talking about love, sex and all that other sh*t. The one woman seemed to be feeling herself because she landed a boo that told her she was “wifey material.” The other woman sat listening to her friend give her list of credentials. She can cook. She can clean. She keeps her hair did. Has her own place and a job.

As I sat listening, all I could think was….”what a load of bullsh*t.”

Personally, I’m getting tired of the whole “he told me I was wifey material” conversations.


Because 1) Why do we rely on men (or other women) to tell us what “wifey material” actually is? And 2) It’s all relative.

ANYONE can be wifey material by simply becoming a wife. If Evelyn Lozada of Basketball Wives (who isn’t actually a wife…yet) can be proposed to, and a buster like Ochocinco is willing to wife her – then ANYone can be wifey material.

Women like to wear that title like a crown. And there’s nothing wrong with viewing yourself as the type of woman a man would be proud to marry. But all the woman on the train kept saying was, “He said this…and he said that…so it must be true.”


She can cook.

Last I checked, there weren’t any starving men out here looking for a woman who can cook so he can marry her. Most people find a way to eat, so being able to cook nowadays doesn’t really mean that much. And two women I know personally NEVER cook for their men, their men cook for THEM…and they’re happily married. So that ain’t it.

She can clean.

Hiring a maid does the trick too. But unless you’re Oscar the Grouch, most people aren’t living in trashcans either. You should want to clean for yourself, and to keep the roaches away, not to get a husband.

She keeps her hair did.


She has her own place and a job.

You’re supposed to you airhead! I know we're in tough economic times, but shouldn't having a job be something most of us aspire to so we can...you know....LIVE? If she didn’t have a job, she wouldn’t be able to buy that food she can cook, or get her hair done…so that should be for her own benefit...not to land a husband.

In my opinion, being "wifey material" is more about being yourself, and then finding someone who appreciates who you are. It’s not about trying to conform to some “formula” you think all men use to figure out if you’d make a good wife or not.

You can’t predict who a man will or will not marry. Just ask Khloe and Lamar. Therefore, you can’t always position yourself to meet some mystery criteria. What you CAN do is be the best self for YOURSELF. If you don’t want to cook, or learn how to, then there is a man out there who will be just fine with that - and who will gladly cook for you. If you like wearing baseball hats instead of going to the salon every week, there is a man out there who will appreciate your personality and not your new bob. If you don’t like to clean, you’re just nasty :-)

All joking aside, I hear way too many women asking a man if they consider them wifey material…and it irks my nerves. There is no right or wrong answer to that. The answer lies within yourself – your own value system and your own idea of what makes a person a good mate, period. Knowing how to cook means nothing if you don’t know how to compromise. Keeping a clean house doesn’t go far if you argue all the time. Your hair may be done, but your personality may need some work. Having your own place means squat if your man never wants to come home to you.

If a man shares your same beliefs and values, he will find you. You will be specially made for him, so what the majority of men out there want in a wife won’t really matter. It’ll only matter to that one who will take you exactly as you are. A king finds his queen…whether she can cook or not.



Stef said...


Stef said...

Brooke, PREACH!!!

Were these young chicks?

Courtney said...

I don't have anything to add to this - you are so right! Great blog!

Yolanda said...

When I hear the term wifey material, I interpret it as an insult. The men who seem to use the term 'wifey' the most never seem to actually marry and make that woman a real WIFE. It's usually a term that'll shut a woman up by keeping her excited that her man is thinking of her in those matrimonial terms when really, all that dude is saying is you do all the things a wife would do and he doesn't have to do much in return (i.e.: make it official).

Brooke said...


They looked to be in their late 20's, but hard to tell since Black don't crack ;)

But I've heard women of all ages, well into their 40's, wondering if they're wifey material...and it's just stupid.

If you have to ask, then you aren't.

Craig n 'em said...

My girl told me I was WIFEY MATERIAL...;-)

Brooke said...


I AGREE TOTALLY! That term is so stupid to me. That's like what you all wrote on Witches Brew the other day about men asking a woman to cook for them cuz "it's so hard nowadays to find a woman who can cook" - which is just their way of geting a free meal and not taking you out on a real date. It's all bullsh*t. Meanwhile, he winds up marrying the chick who can't boil water.

If he wants you, he wants you - period.

Stef said...

Craig, you stupid :)

Jay said...

Women going around talking about their wifey material, or asking if they are, are a turn off. It just reaks of insecurity.

And Yolanda hit the nail on the head - women eat that shit up just to feel special. A dude won't just tell you you're wifey material, he'll actually PROPOSE.

I always thought that was some hood shit term anyway.

Grownblknfocused said...

When will the negro community ever gonna learn (esp the young women) that wifey doesn't mean shit. We are talkin bout a group of males for most part grew up in a matriarchy so how the hell these guys gonna know what a wife is? But the hoodrats will do anything for attention and their ego stroked.

Geeque said...

What train do you ride Brooke? LOL

You seem to across the craziest situations on your train rides!!

BatMan said...

Stef first again!!

A-Buzzzzz said...

@Craig..You are stupid...

@the Blog.... I despise the word "WIFEY" it sounds soo childish to me. Your either a WIFE or you aren't... whatever you are to the dude play your position & be happy with your role or get out. And like Yolanda most men that call a chick wifey rarely marry them cuz airheads like this get happy & content with this title & don't aspire to be anything else.

I just saved someone's house & got them a nice loan mod with a 2% interest rate for the life of the loan. THAT'S A MOTHER EFFIN ACCOMPLISHMENT...Doing your hair...NOT SO MUCH! LMAO

Brooke said...

I'm gonna go to Anna when it's time to buy my house :-) LOL!


I ride the M or the R - or the E if I'm in a rush (which is the train I hear most of these stupid stories on) and then the 4, 5, or 6depending on the day. Yes, I take a lot of trains :-)

The Cable Guy said...

Wifey is a hood term that dudes who have no intention of wifing anyone use. I'm so glad Brooke wrote this blog, cuz I'm so sick of hearing that term.

If a woman brags about being wifey material cuz some dude said so, then she's a lowe self esteem bird.

Sillouette said...

Wow... Sad, sad.. The word "wifey" is hardly impressive to me nor flattering in any way.. So I really dont know why any woman would get a high off of hearing that from a man. It really dont mean anything. Its just a word.. Maybe some people need to feel important and simple things like that gets them geeked.lol If it does, shame on you and go find some self esteem.

Mr. Nice Guy said...

People still say "wifey"? That term is so old.

Rameer The ILLAbstract said...

Lmao - Nice guy took my comment...

Yolanda nailed it.

nycgirl said...

Some of these conversations on the train make you want to turn up your ipod or cell phone's music. It's a shame that some of these women fall for this nonsense if you're wife material he will put a ring on it bottom line. The other nonsense just goes along the lines of why the buy the cow when you can get the milk for free and get a free meal and "dessert" without having to wine and dine. Women need to realize if he wants to be with you he will be with you regardless of cooking cleaning, etc.

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