Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Happy Hump Day!
Speaking of HUMPING, a friend and I were having a discussion about sex last night. Topic of discussion: what makes sex good and what can make sex bad? Of course this is different for everyone, so I figured I'd put it out there for you all to weigh in.
What began the conversation last night was her saying that the best sex she ever had was with a guy who had the smallest penis she's ever had. Most women would be like, "Huh?" But she said this man was so passionate, so into her, would caress and lift her up and would do any and EVERY thing he could think of to please her. Where he lacked physically, he more than made up for it emotionally and mentally.
And....she was in love with him.
And he loved her back.
For women, sex is mostly mental and emotional. When we are in love with you (or even just really FEELING YOU), the sex is great! It's our way to connect. We turn on the emotional floodgates to allow you entrance into our world. It's very hard to allow someone to swim in your ocean you when you can barely stand the sight of them. More often than not, we NEED that connection...that passion, the feeling that is all enveloping.
Men...not so much.
Not saying women can't ever be strictly physical beings. But men can pound you, screw you, f*ck you - anything you wanna call it - without ever knowing your name. They don't have to "make love" for the sex to be good.
Women don't either, but it's funny how our perception of "good sex" changes AFTER the break-up. When we're all in love, sex is amazing. But after we break up, we're like "that little d*ck muthf*cka was WACK!" I find myself saying to my girlfriends, "wait...are we still talking about the same dude?" :-)
So, what makes good sex good? What makes the "Mo' Betta Mo' Betta?"
There's no right or wrong answer to this. Sex can be slow and meaningful or hot and sweaty. It can be athletic or kinky and perverted; but whatever flavor it is, good sex contains a jolt of electricity that makes the average bumping of the uglies a bit sexier and more satisfying.
Speaking of electric - remember this scene from Love Jones?
Every person is different. For me, good sex can be about a myriad of things - built up sexual tension being the main thing that does it for me. Ever talk MAD sh*t to someone - whether in person, on the phone, text, email, IM, whatever - saying what you're gonna do to them when you see them (especially if it'll be the first time you two ever have sex but the chemistry between you is pornographic)? That tension building usually results in an explosion when the deed finally gets done. That has always led to great sex for me.
What also makes good sex good is good old fashioned communication. Someone telling me what he likes, me telling him what I like...actually LISTENING to the answer and then executing. A good dose of curiosity never hurt either.
There are women that can cum just by merely touching them. There are some that can cum just by kissing. There are others that need oral stimulation to climax. Others need penetration. There are some women (like myself) that can cum with no manual stimulation at all. Let's just say I have very VIVID dreams.
(ADDENDUM: Craig asked me to post this video to prove that...uh...well...men don't need much either)
Ahem...my point is, if you ask a girl the right questions, and observe her, you will know a lot more about her sexuality. What really turns her on, what makes her explode, what she really likes doing, what she’s not good at, what she’s never done, etc. - knowing all of this will help you to have a fantastic sex life. The same holds true for most men. I'm sure we all think we're good lovers...but are we?
It's about paying attention to each other. It's about not being selfish. A good lover won't pressure you, or make you feel guilty. A good lover will make the entire experience about the BOTH of you. A good lover will mix it up. They'll try different locations or positions, seeking to make your sex lives exciting, or spice it up with some variety. All in all, it's about simply asking the question - what can I do to please you? A good lover will usually have no problem telling you.
What makes the Mo' Betta Mo Betta for you? :-)
-b
42 comments:
HOLY CACA!!!! I'M FIRST!!! WHAT DO I SAY BESIDES...
BITCHES!!!!!
LMAO!!!!
Craig came out and beat everyone! LOL!! He must like late posts :)
Sex is good when its with another person....female...but I mean...I can go HAND SOLO as well...You know...whatever..;-/
Well alrighty :-)
Yeah, sex with another person is usually good :)
LOL at Craig N'em!!!! Brooke..at the expense of sounding mad punkish... I agree. Good love sex between two people is as simple as two people not being selfish and really trying to please each other. Short of the extreme , extreme kinky perverted shyt... I will do all that's in my power to please my lady. (What ... you want me to wear a big squirrel suit with the crotch cut out and your cootchie like I'm storing nuts for the coldest winter ever. Well... OK!!!) But luckily...knowing that I am really pleasing my lady kinda gets me off.... so it's all good.
(Sidenote... is it just me or does it same like writing the word "cum" makes something X-rated. Can you say that word on TV???)
LOL..... damn you CRAIG!!!!!!!!!
I think for sex to be good you have to be sexually attracted to that person. Meaning you can find a person attractive yet still not want it..lol... Once you are if you are willing to do what it takes to please that person & vice versa it should be all good.
I meant (What ... you want me to wear a big squirrel suit with the crotch cut out and EAT your cootchie like I'm storing nuts for the coldest winter ever. Well... OK!!!)
LMAO LMAO LMAO!!
and I think you can say that on tv :)
Anna...It winked @ me like this... ;)
I love it when a woman says no....such a turn on...
Craig did you try the chocolate????? LOL
I am cracking up at the whole winking thing!
Ana...I'm holding out until this weekend...This girl walking around the house all excited for this Saturday like it's her SUPER BOWL!!!
Went to Duane Reade and picked up a couple BAGS of HERSHEY KISSES and some MAGNUMS...
Duane Reade Cashier: Wow...I see Halloween is coming early this year...HA HA HA...Are you the trick or the treat?
ME: Mind yo fuckin' biznass and charge my shit, bitch!
....My sister thinks because she gives me a discount when I come to her job, she can talk to me anyway she wants...fuckin nerve...
Anyway...So I'm home...My girl is walking around...all excited for our romantic weekend...she bought those aroma candles from Bed Bath and Beyond...I picked up some stuff from RICKY'S.
Thing is she thinks she's being cute when she "winks" at me...But all I can visualize is her "stink wink"
I have to agree with you Annamaria on the point that you have to find someone sexually attractive to you. I think it's all a part of your chemistry together. There are some people that I find physically attractive, but have no desire to have sex with them.
Brooke - I also agree that sometimes it is better when you have feelings for the person you're sleeping with and then for me that becomes "making love" rather than just sex. Agree that it's also about you just listening to each other and making sure it's about give and take and not just TAKE TAKE TAKE.
I'd also like to say that stamina can help a whole hell of a lot. NOTHING WORSE to me than wanting to get it and my man can't get it up cuz he's tired. If you can't do it when I'm ready then I'm really DISAPPOINTED.
LMAO@Pretty Ricky - squirrel suit????
I just spit out my water. STINK WINK??? LMFAO...Craig that might be a classic phrase.
I was all set to chime in and have a good blogging session...
But then I see y'all on THAT ISH again.
I'll just say me and Ms. Brookes agree on the whole communication thing. But since I'm sensing this blog going in a "backdoor direction", I'm out like Foreman vs. Ali...
I'm sooooo afraid to ask what the stinky wink is!!!!
Don't ASK!!! PLEASE!!! Rameer will NEVER come back!
Craig you a funny dude! LMAO.....
Rameer...are you out there or you left the blog (cricket, cricket, cricket)...
Wish me luck y'all...next Friday I'm going back to that open mic where dude did the whole piece on tossing salad lmao!
I'm waiting for Craig to write a poem. It could be titled..."The Wink!"
I DID come back just to see if I was wrong and the subject matter had changed back to normalcy.
It didn't.
Gone for the day...buh-bye...
awwww man, see what you did! Can we stop talking about "that" stuff so Rameer can come back? I wanna hear what makes the mo betta mo betta for him - I have a feeling it involves Sal's Sassy Sauce!
Rameer, come baaaaaack!
Is it my turn now or are we still waiting for Rameer?
I cannot speak for another men, because I condsider myself unique.
I just like to feel like I am wanted. If a woman makes me feel as if I am wanted then it is on. I will do everything within my skill set to make it a great experience.
If I dont feel like that and you just want to do watever. Then it just might a race to see who finishes first...
Race to see who finishes?? That's NEVER a good thing!
There are certain things that absolutely must be in place for the sex to at least START OFF good for me:
1. This is gonna sound weird, but I can't be cold. I have to be warm first. The best is first thing in the morning cuddled under covers. I understand that sex makes you hot, but if the room starts off cold for any reason, I can't do it.
(I know...I know...weird)
2. foreplay helps...ALOT
3. good hygiene helps too...ALOT ALOT!
4. good communication - and I don't mean by telling me what you like or asking me what I like. It usually means "don't say anything stupid to talk me out of wanting to have sex with you" LOL!!
5. don't stick your tongue in my ear! YUK!!
Thank you Serena...The 'WINK" will be coming to you soon....;-)
So no Igloo sex for Brooke! The eskimos are mad...
oh no! never!
Please don't write a poem about The Wink, please don't!
OH...the Poem? It's like Citroma at this point...ain't no stopping the floodgate now!!! ITS COMIN!!!
Damn you Serena!
LOL- ya'll are crazy.
- Agree with the hygiene thing - I will put a stop to it if your balls are so damn rank that I have to wear a gas mask. In fact I like to shower before hand.
- Agree that foreplay is always a good thing, but it should be good foreplay. Hell give me a massage or something to get things going.
- Switching the positions up helps to keep things from getting too boring.
- I'd even venture to say toys can help too.
Um...G. Peaches...RANK BALLS??? WTF???!!
Yep - you'd be surprised how many men don't keep that shit washed. UGH... Nasty ass men. But it WILL NOT GO DOWN if you don't wash yo ass (or balls)! Not with me.
Sweaty balls...not cute :(
showers together are nice :)
...but dangerous. People don't normally bring condoms into the shower.
Um...not all women wash either...
I can imagine...which is gross! Doesn't matter WHO it is!
Brooke. I AM SOOO WITH YOU ON THE EAR THING...Do not stick your tongue in my ear or it will be a wrap!!!!!!!!! LOL
Dear Brooke-lyn,
This was funny. It's funny that as much as the sexes differ, we're really all the same. We want to be loved, appreciated and feel that we're wanted. My ex and I had this conversation a couple of months ago. We were watching tv and some buff, handsome brother, in his underwear, came across the screen. I forget what we were watching but the guy supposedly was well-endowed (his drawers was bulging). My ex began teasing me and saying I was on him because he was stacked. I told him, as nice as those things are, rippling muscles and a buldge in the pants are not the only things that makes a man attractive to a woman. If everything was about sex, we wouldn't need a man. There are toys that work just as good, and you don't have to worry about the sweaty balls smell or someone scratching his bare butt as he rumages through your fridge after sex. But for women, we're more emotional , not so much physical. We will deal with the small penis or work with the horrible stroke and continue to make love to you because there's something about you we love: He's attentive, he loves to make me happy, he's so caring, he's trying, I'll teach him lol. But rippling muscles and a buldge are nice...just speaking for Princess.
And that's all I have to say about that!
So sorry it took so long for me to chime in...because this was created for a blogger like me (read that like you mean to say the N word.
Sex is sex, but what makes good sex, great sex or even phenomenal sex are the feelings involved.
It can be lust, love or straight up hot passionate gorilla wildness that changes the situation.
I've known women that have just screwed anyone, hell even their boyfriends, fiance's and husbands, but without that passion, it's just a screw.
I don't think I've ever really just "screwed" someone. I'm VERY passionate...so there's always something going on with me. Even if I start off not really into it, something inevitably changes to the point where my lust takes over. If I ain't feeling it, I don't do it.
geesh, I hope nobody just simply "screwed" me :(
(...oh who am I kidding?)
And Princess, I agree. Women tend to stick it out more when we're in love...our man can do no wrong in our eyes when we're in love.
Agreed- but once we have that bad break up then he becomes just another lil d*ck m-fer. Ha! :o)
Good topic today and I will admit that feelings are always better. Just screwing isn't as fulfilling for me personally; at that point it's just about a physical release and Ms. Princess is right the toys can help with that.
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