Friday, August 26, 2011
TGIF!
So when news broke of the rumored breakup of Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith, black folk around the world were heard with a collective “NOOOOO! Say it ain’t so!”
Personally, I didn’t believe it, and I tend not to lend much weight to gossip rags. I can’t say that I would have been devastated, and most people wouldn’t have been surprised by the news at all given that they are indeed a Hollywood couple. But those of us who love us some Will and Jada might have been saddened by the news…if not heartbroken.
As soon as the rumor broke, people wanted to know why, how, what happened, and whose fault it was. Speculation ensued and topics of discussion quickly turned to their sex life – which has been a subject of interest with these two for years now.
Both have been rumored to be bisexual, or to use each other as “beards” for their individual homosexuality. Other rumors have been that they’re swingers, or share an open marriage. None of it has been proven or substantiated - but hey, it’s their business right?
But it DID make me wonder about something – if a couple DID have an open marriage or relationship – is that a sign that the relationship needs help, a recipe for disaster, or is it the modern couple’s answer to infidelity?
Some say a polyamorous relationship, when discussed openly with everyone on board, spares all involved the hurt and disappointment of cheating. However, others disagree, saying this type of arrangement may seem all good at first, but really it’s a recipe for hurt, disappointment, jealousy and breakups.
So the question of the day is this: Is welcoming another person(s) into your bed and your marriage a ticking time bomb waiting to explode? Is it genius? Or are you of the mindset of live and let live?
Personally, I don’t see an open relationship as something I’d ever consider. If I wanted the freedom to love and have sex with anyone I wanted, and he were to do the same, I see no point in being in a relationship at all or getting married period. But that’s just me. What say you?
Would you ever consider engaging in an open relationship? Have you ever tried it? If so, what were or would your ground rules be, if any?
Go!
-b
So when news broke of the rumored breakup of Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith, black folk around the world were heard with a collective “NOOOOO! Say it ain’t so!”
Personally, I didn’t believe it, and I tend not to lend much weight to gossip rags. I can’t say that I would have been devastated, and most people wouldn’t have been surprised by the news at all given that they are indeed a Hollywood couple. But those of us who love us some Will and Jada might have been saddened by the news…if not heartbroken.
As soon as the rumor broke, people wanted to know why, how, what happened, and whose fault it was. Speculation ensued and topics of discussion quickly turned to their sex life – which has been a subject of interest with these two for years now.
Both have been rumored to be bisexual, or to use each other as “beards” for their individual homosexuality. Other rumors have been that they’re swingers, or share an open marriage. None of it has been proven or substantiated - but hey, it’s their business right?
But it DID make me wonder about something – if a couple DID have an open marriage or relationship – is that a sign that the relationship needs help, a recipe for disaster, or is it the modern couple’s answer to infidelity?
Some say a polyamorous relationship, when discussed openly with everyone on board, spares all involved the hurt and disappointment of cheating. However, others disagree, saying this type of arrangement may seem all good at first, but really it’s a recipe for hurt, disappointment, jealousy and breakups.
So the question of the day is this: Is welcoming another person(s) into your bed and your marriage a ticking time bomb waiting to explode? Is it genius? Or are you of the mindset of live and let live?
Personally, I don’t see an open relationship as something I’d ever consider. If I wanted the freedom to love and have sex with anyone I wanted, and he were to do the same, I see no point in being in a relationship at all or getting married period. But that’s just me. What say you?
Would you ever consider engaging in an open relationship? Have you ever tried it? If so, what were or would your ground rules be, if any?
Go!
-b
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86 comments:
FIRST BITCHES!
Damn, where did HE come from!?
Hi Stef
Hi Batman!
To answer the question - HELL NO I can't do an open relationship. Wht the point of having a relationship at all if you're just going to sleep with whomever you want. Just be single and free.
All these people who are having open marriages should not be married. To me, it signifies laziness. They don't want to do the work necessary to keep their marriage interesting and monogamous. If you are that much interested in having sex with other people, simply stay single.
Great topic.I was having this same conversation with my finance on the day the news of Will & Jada broke. I consider myself to be quite open minded and liberal and not the jealous type. However,the thought of sharing my man with anyone else really bother's me, who knew.he asked me if I could share him with another woman and I really had to say NO!. I was very surprised by that.I guess I'm not as opened minded as I thought. I know a few people who swing and have descent relationships, so I don't knock it.i just feel like it's a recipe for disaster.Maybe because by nature woman are more emotional than men it's harder to not let your feelings get involved after sex.I met very few women who can pull this off. Men tend to be more jealous than women.especially if a man sincerely loves a woman, I don't see him being OK watching or excepting his lady love with another man.
jUST MY 2 CENTS
I don't know if I'd be in an open relationship. Like Stef, I'd just be single and have them as a friend with benefits or something.
As I understand it, many open relationships are people who agree that they are the other's number one but they want to continue to have other sexual experiences. No judging from me here. I'd imagine it would cut down on the creeping behind backs and the lies.
To each his own BUT I wouldn't do it. If I wanna go bone whoever I want there is no point in me getting married...
Like everyone else stated - it's not for me, but if it works for others, that's their thing. I've actually personally known people it has worked for - and a couple it didn't.
Not for me, though. I'm on the same train of thought as Fury.
I'll say this though, I'm not sure I would turn down being the other man in an open relationship... There are instances where I would find that very tempting.
It works very well for me! There are various types of "open relationships" from swinging, a sexual free-for-all with no emotions ties whatsoever to Cuckoldry, where the husband enjoy watching or hearing another man have sex with his wife to polyogamy where the couple has a full blown relationship with another man or woman......Itsm not about being lazy in keeping the spark in the relationship....it actually takes more work to maintain it than a "normal" relationship.......its a personal preference thats all!
Hey ALL!!! happy Friday!!
Uuuhhhh I think its a recipe for someone to make the NEWS local and world wide, becuase someone done SNAPPED and went off into a jealous rage, and now someone is MISSING!!!! Why do all that and get all into something so "messy"? Eeewww..A relationship is for two people who care for each other.. Not you and every other person that is breathing or claims to be down... Com'on..
To each his own....What they do and who they do is their business BUT please believe their will be issues down the line.. There is no such thing as a "happily ever after" which this situation. Someone is always gonna get jealous and one is always think someone is getting more attention than them. Emotions grow, feelings become stronger, and territory starts to spread.. Its always gonna be something.. If you like the drama of it, then thats your business. But why stir rup up the confusion.. Its just seems greedy and selfih when it comes down to it.. Someone's heart gets broken eventually and lives get turned upside down...
Silhouette - I know a couple that's been married for 20 years in an open relationship that are happy and have never had issues.
Again - it may not be for us. But I don't think we can say what WILL happen in everyone's situation. You or I might have issues arise if we put ourselves in this situation - but it doesn't mean EVERYONE will.
@Tony - Happy there is someone in the fold that has experience with this. I can imagine that in an open relationship, there has to be some kind of monumental trust created. Especially considering, there has to be some very specific rules outside of the normal "dont have sex with anyone else" rules that monogamous relationships have. Care to share any of the rules of your relationship? Any rules harder to abide by than others?
@Silhouette - It's not everyone that has those feelings. I've actually heard of open relationships lasting longer than monogamous ones. Hell, I know tons of people getting divorced right now...most of which had an issue with passion in their relationships.
We may be more greedy and selfish by keeping our partners tied to only us...what y'all think?
Whatever floats their boat....
People are too crazy now adays. Bringing someone extra into a realtionship is just risky to me.. I dont wish bad on anyone at all. I just think issues can and will arise eventually, whether is takes 5-10-20 years. And it may not be you and your mate that the problem is between, it may be the extra person, that decides to be a problem... And people tell & show you only what they want you to know. If issues did arise, you probably won't know about it, because they keep it behind close doors..
Its hard enough in a regualr relationship, moreless one with multiple people.. lol
But either way .. I wish whoever chooses to live there life however they want if they are happy.. and safe....
Im not saying the realtionship wont last because of the nature of the realtionship... My thing is how crazy people are, like the extra person my not cooperating down the line and decide to act up.. and cause issues and drama...
If everyone knows how to act that are into that thing then ,great it roses for everyone.. But theres always that possiblity of a Coo-Coo Cachoo getting drafted... lol
Shit, there are tons of "Coo Coo Cachoos" (that's hilarious to me!) in monogamous relationships. Even more that are single. If we were scared of the coo coo cachoos then we'd never try to meet new people./partners.
I agree that emotion sounds like it can be an issue in the open relationships, but hell it's an issue in any and all realtionships
Yes there are rules but Im driving.....ill write them in 1 hour!
Honestly, I feel open relationships are for men, and women who don't want to lose a man, or who are content sharing a man (men) because they don't want to be alone. It's selfish on the part of the man, and desperate on the part of the woman.
Men are programmed to want sex form multiple women - spread our seed and populate the earth. It's inherent in men to want to f*ck as many women as possible. However, that doesn't mean all men WILL or aren't strong enough to resist that urge.
Women on the otherhand are wired to be monogamous. That doesn't mean that they don't have desires like men do, but sex for women usually has emotions tied to it. Women even secrete a "bonding" hormone during orgasm that ties them to their partner. Any woman claiming it's all about sex all the time when it comes to open relationships is lying, fooling herself, or is a ho.
Point blank, it is what it is - and if people want to do it, cool. But let's not be decieved into thinking it's natural for BOTH sexes, it's not. It's a man's world. Sorry.
@Fury
Yea man them coo-coo cachoos are
on the loose!!! Straight up!... LOL
I actually agree with Cable Guy on this one.
and it's much harder to keep your wife or husband satisfied a million different ways, than to just be like "fuck it, go fuck someone else cuz I don't feel like having sex with YOU tonight." It's so much easier to go to someone else than to work it out with yoru partner. My opinion.
@ The Cable Guy..
Good point my friend..
Brooke is real quiet today :)
@Stef,
I'm not for open relationships, especially in marriages, for the simple fact that we live in an HIV/AIDS era. And aside from anything that can actually kill you, there are certain diseases that you can contract simply by skin to skin contct. It's a risk you take in any sexual relationship, so know that my partner is sleeping with someone else won't change that, but why increase my chnces by CONDONING or ENCOURAGING an open relationship?
Chances are, if you're my husband, we're not using condoms - which means I now have to trust that you would not endanger my life with whomever you decide to have sex with outside of our marriage. And I have to trust THAT woman not to have anything as well...AND anyone else SHE is sleeping with. It all gets too complicated and risky.
And condoms are not 100% effective against pregnancy, so now I have to hope the condom doesn't break if I choose to have sex outside the marriage, or that it doesn't break with the woman my husband is sleeping with. Why risk all that?
Again, if these are all risks that we'd be willing to take, why make them as married people? What is the incentive? Love? In my humble opinion, marriage isn't about love, it's about commitment. You can love and have sex with many different people, but marriage is about something greater.
Everything Brooke said is exactly what I was thinking. And Cable Guy broke it down too, no need to add anything as far as why I'd never consider this type of relationship.
Not worth the headache - that's just me, and all Brooke's points are valid. Too risky, and unnecessary. You wanna play, stay single.
Kudos Broke, I coudln't have said it any better myself!
@ brooke, And Stef and Jay
I agree with all of you!!! :)
There is risk on so many levels.
Now I need Tony to write TWO blogs for me...... SMDH
"Any woman claiming it's all about sex all the time when it comes to open relationships is lying, fooling herself, or is a ho."
Is a ho? So women can't be sexually open? Wouldn't that make the men hoes as well? Or is it ok because our "wiring" is different?
Hmmm..I don't agree there. I know some sexually open women (some on this blog apparently) that aren't hoes.
And remember this is the guy that wrote the 69 ways to spice up your sex life list. I think there are other options than open relationships, but your choice isn't my choice. No judging.
@ Fury - Amen
@Brooke - Every risk you named is valid as it is when you are single..A lot of you said that if you wanted to play you would stay single...ok....if that is the case are not those same risks involved? Do you not have to trust someone NOT to lie to you and to NOT have unprotected sex behind your back? Don't condoms break when you're single?
ALL relationships can be a headache....Its not a question of being too lazy to please your man/woman it is about a little variety. It is, as I said before, a personal choice.
@ Sillouette - The beauty of it all is that they two of you (husband and wife) can always kick the "Crazy" person out and move on as if they never existed.
The point is I know a lot of people who live like this...most are hiding it because of the stigma that goes with it. I, personally don't give a fuck who doesn't approve of it so it works for me on all levels but more importantly it make my relationship BETTER!
Not many couples can say that these days....(50% divorce rate)
@ whomever said that this is for selfish men.....What If there were some extra information provided to you like....the man in this situation does NOT have extracurricular sex...they tried it....it didn't do anything for either of them so she is the one with the extra "fuck buddies?" it's the woman with the stronger sex drive? Is she a Ho? Is she selfish?
@ Annamaria....Now i gotta write TWO? DAMN!
@Tony,
I believe I acknowledged all that you said by my comment:
"It's a risk you take in ANY sexual relationship, so knowing that my partner is sleeping with someone else won't change that, but why increase my chnces by CONDONING or ENCOURAGING an open relationship?"
And the big difference is, as a single person, I use condoms. As a married person, I doubt I would.
It's about managing risk - and I'd rather take that risk with someone whose views are similar to mine with respect to monogamy than someone who wants an open relationship. If those in open relationships are cool with increaseing their risks, then to each his or her own.
@Tony - and you gotta tell US some of those rules.
..and I think I may want you to write a guest blog on my site TOO! haaa!
Brooke,
On the other hand if the two people involved WANT the open relationship then there is no increased risk because they are on the same page.
@Fury and Tony,
Yes, she's a ho.
Sexually open doesn't mean you fuck every dude walking. I'm not equating a woman who is sexually open minded or with a high sex drive as a ho, I'm equating women who have sex with multiple men who claim to have no emotional ties as hos.
If my definition of a ho is offbase, someone please enlighten me as to THEIR definition of a ho.
Sorry, my peronal views. No one else has to agree.
And.......If as a couple one of you are CONDONING anything, there is already a problem. You shouldn't condone it it should be a mutual agreement. Huge difference.
@Cable Guy.....Are you a Ho? Is any man that you know that has had more than one sexual partner a ho? If so I believe all men are inherently Ho's and if that's the case are women held to a different standard? Are you saying it's ok for men to be "Hos" but not women?
@Tony,
That doesn't make any sense to me. That's like me saying "I know I WANT to fuck this dude with HIV, therefore, there is no risk involved."
Just because you both CHOOSE to do it doesn't decrease the risk, it just means you're more aware of it.
Get the point? VERY FEW people have had only one partner but you just lumped them into a derogatory category.....without knowing how frequently these women that we are talking about have even had sex with different men......maybe its every six months, does that change things?
@Brooke.....maybe I missed something but did either one of us say anything about knowingly sleeping with someone with any type of STD? My point is, and maybe I didn't state it clearly, that if a couple KNOWINGLY decides to live this lifestyle then it is no more risky than a single person with an active sex life. Thats it.
@Tony,
DING, DING, DING! WTF do you all think I've been saying? I think I made it clear. IT'S A MAN'S WORLD -I wrote that in plain English. Call it a double stanadrad all you want, it's true! I must be the only person dealing in reality here - and the women AGREE.
MEN are more programmed to be hos. Doesn't mean there aren't men out there who exercise self control, it's just the way we are biologically.
And I didn't say women sleeping with multiple men one at a time in a succession or relationships is what makes a woman a ho, it's the women who sleep with multiple men at one time hos! Women are not wired to do that - if they do, they're going against nature or biology. Read up on it if you don't take my word for it.
Stop beating up on Tony.... he's gotta get his thoughts together for my open relationship blog...I want that one before you write the donkey punch one. Your homework is piling up. Get to writing. I need the rules & everything.
Get it to Brookey my editor in chief by Wednesday. :) lol
@Cable Guy.......Sorry brother, I normally agree but this time you are wrong. While it may be true that MOST men are wired one way and MOST women are wired another that doesn't mean that ALL are wired one way or the other. Is not going against nature it's just they way they are....everyone is different.
@Annamaria.....lol.....I am not getting beat up. I am going against the grain and some are not open minded enough to deal with it. I expected this when I asked Brooke to write about this two months ago. Don't worry you will have your Blog!
What is being lost here is the assumption that single people and people in relationshiops have sex the same way.
I manage my risks A LOT differently when I’m single than when I’m in a relationship. I use condoms as a single person. Most people in “relationships” or who are married do not, therefore, the risk is increased to exposure if you’re married or in a relationship – so the risk isn’t the same. It’s not always about knowing what your partner is doing behind your back, cuz as a single person I don’t care and I’m protecting MYSELF. As a person in a relationship or who is married, I’m not using condoms, so I have to trust my partner to not put us both in jeopardy. The sheer notion of allowing your partner to step out of the relationship usually means that they WILL…and therefore the risk increases. As a single person, I’m not worrying about it, because I’m protecting myself.
@ Cable Guy......I am telling you about a woman.....with a High sex drive and because it's a "Man's world" she is a Ho. Is that correct so far?
@Brooke and what is also being lost is the assumption that collectively a couple takes that risk into account and agrees to protect each other.
I love how people who do this type of shit say that those who don't are "close minded."
It would be wrong if I called those who DO practice open relationships FREAKS tho wouldn't it?
@Stef....were you thinking that? Be honest with yourself and everyone here. Did you think, "Freak?"
And I didn't say those who don't were closed minded, I SOME here are being closed minded. Tell me that there aren't a few that are being close minded? Maybe you were offended because you are?
I don't think I'm being close minded, I just don't agree. Big Difference.
If you did call those who did this "Freaks" it would be your opinion. Which you are entitled to. I wouldn't be bothered by it at all but I would call you close minded for sure.
That's true....We can agree to disagree.....What I do wonder though is what this conversation would have been like if no one confessed to living this way.....hmmmmm?
@The Cable Guy - True it is your personal feeling. I'm just lost as to how you got on the ho definition topic when we're talking about open relationships. It read as you calling the women hoes and not the men.
Whenever I see "open relationship" I see a couple agreeing to rules of their partner having other sexual partners, one or however many. I automatically assume there's a rule on STD protection and protecting each other from them be it condoms, requiring STD test of added partners, etc.
As I said, I don't think I could be in one, but I wouldn't call the people that do names, either.
@Stef - Hey..did you just use FREAK in a negative way? *moves Batman close to her face* I'm a freak! :-D
You can only protect yourself so much - like I said, condoms break, and they don't protect against skin to skin diseases - which therefore means that no matter how aware you are and open to it you are, that doesn't decrease risk. It only increases when you both allow it, as opposed to two people who jointly believe in monogamy.
Funny how neither Tony or Fury answered as to what THEIR definition of a ho is.
Maybe they don't believe hos exist - like unicorns and leprechans.
You can call me whatever you want Tony, for sure. But labeling people as close minded simply because they don't believe in your lifestyle is unfair.
@Fury,
I wasn't using it as a negative per se, but simly as a way of saying it wouldp be just as unfair of me to call him that as it is for him to label me as close minded. People kill me with that shit. You yourself said an open relationship is not for you, but we all know how open minded you are sexually - so to say that anyone who doesn't agree is close minded makes no sense.
no one on the blog said that there is anything wrong with those who choose to have an open relationship, so who are the SOME who are close minded. I beleive everyone here said to each his or her own.
And Cable Guy, I DO agree with you.
How we got on the topic of ho's was me saying open relationships seem to be more attractive or beneficial to men, not women, cuz women aren't built that way. So if they engage in this type of relationship, they're either desperate to hold on to their man to make HIM happy, or they're HOS.
Clear now?
So say the rules are:
we get tested once a month
we use condoms when not with each other
No one can catch feelings for the outside person (good luck enforcing THAT one)
So say you follow these rules and then a condom breaks and the outside chick gets pregnant. Say your wife gets pregnant. Are you all just one happy family now?
Are you requiring that the outside man or woman gets tested for skin diseases as well? Monthly? And everyone THEY sleep with besides y'all?
C'mon son.
If I'm single having sex, and the dude I'm sexing knocks up some OTHER chick, it's not my problem and I don't care. But my husband? Fuck that.
I don't think it's fair to call anyone that doesn't agree with open relationships as close minded and I don't think it's fair to say that only the WOMEN that are in open relationships are hoes.
I'm an open minded person, don't think I'd be in an open relationship. I KNOW scores of sexually open women that are not hoes. Who visit, strip clubs and get lap dances, have bisexual relationships, have sex with men that aren't their boyfriend, go to sex cubs and masturbate regularly with toys.
I don't think I have a definition of a ho. I gave up using the term when I learned everyone has a story and a reason.
But y'all know I'm a liberal guy...
@ cable guy...no one asked us for our definitions......or did I miss that too.....
I don't think Cable Guy was saying a woman with a high sex drive was a ho at all. Now if a man can't satisfy his woman who has a high sex drive, and she needs to ho around to get those needs met, then oh well.
@Tony,
Yes, you missed it, cuz I asked you AND Fury what your definitions were. But in case it wasn't clear, what is YOUR definition of a ho?
he DID ask what your definitions were - no one seems to want to answer it.
@ courtney.........what if what if what if???? like i said the rules are between the two people.......sounds to me like you do have a problem Son.........
I must be speaking a different language today.
"I KNOW scores of sexually open women that are not hoes. Who visit, strip clubs and get lap dances, have bisexual relationships, have sex with men that aren't their boyfriend, go to sex cubs and masturbate regularly with toys."
AGAIN, I didn’t say that sexually open women were hos. What you just wrote, I wouldn’t label as a ho…so I don’t even know how that applies to anything I said.
@Tony,
No one has a problem, I was asking questions...that you didn't answer. And you don't have to, but Maybe YOU have a problem. You seem to be getting defensive because no one else is as "open minded " as you are. Fuck outta here with all that.
I was simply addressing rules, which don't seem to be necessary since it doesn't matter if they're broken or not. If the "what if's" don't matter, then why have rules??!!
If I had to say....
I wouldn't engage in sex with someone I found to be sexually dangerous ie. Massive sex with large numbers of people without protection nor std testing (porn stars test often so that would exclude them) and no respect for themselves or the people they engage with. That person would be the "ho" in my mind, but not in terminology. And the ho definition goes for man or woman (though I never would engage with a man)
I know people who would think nearly every woman on this blog is a ho because of sexual preferences you have described in the past.
I don't think personal definition means nothing in the grand scheme of this topic.
@Courtney,
I agree, why even have rules? If one of them breaks one, then what? They get a divorce? One what grounds?
"your honor, I want a divorce because my husband slept with a bitch that I didn't approve of first"
"Your honor, my husband gave me herpes from his girlfriend."
"Your honor, I don't want to pay child support for the baby my wife had with another dude - the dude I said she coudl fuck."
@The Cable Guy - I understand that what I wrote YOU wouldn't label as a hoes, but I know people who would which is why I don't think the hoe definition works for this blog topic.
If two people are in an "open relationship" I doubt they'll think their partner is a ho.
For the record, men can be hos too - I never said they couldn't be. And I DO believe that men can exercise restraint, which is something I think I also stated already.
@Courtney,
I was waiting to hear what these rules were too since he said he'd write them after he was done driving. Guess not. That hour came and went.
LMAO@ Mr. Nice Guy :-)
LMAO @ Stef :)
"your honor..."
I wanna hear these rules my damn self.
These comments are thoroughly entertaining :)
And as a sexually open minded woman who loves men AND women, no, I wouldn't be down for an open relationship.
It is as simple as this. If two people are having a relationship with no growth in favor of biblical reasons - it is doom to fail. Guaranteed!
For the record, the more heated @Stef seems to get in this conversation, the more attractive she's becoming to me...I like 'em feisty, just sayin'.
Give Tony some time. Maybe he has 69 rules to an open relationship!
I think he should make us all wait until the blog he writes for Annamaria. I'm totally on the edge of my seat right now.
@Tony
I see what you saying, but some people are relentless now days and wont go away so easily... They may become stalkers.. then you got to get a restaining order...lol
u just neva know..
GOODNITE EVERYONE!!! HAVE AN AWESOME AND SAFE WEEKEND!!!!
@Fury.....I did miss it and to answer your "Ho" question I don't have a definition for it. I don't use it to describe anyone. I know that commonly used definition for it and assumed (wrongly or not) that that was your definition.
@Courtney......Nope I don't have a problem with any of this and am not defensive at all....I give a fuck about you or your opinion....I don't even know who the fuck you are......What questions do you have again? That I didn't answer? The rules? What exactly do you want to know? When you asked your question you came across with that "come on son" bullshit and I was done fucking with you at that point. If you're asking a legit question and decide to throw some sarcasm in there.....You wont ever get shit as an answer. Come correct. Now about the rules... They don't get broken by either one of us.....ever......anything else? The what if's were yours. Again, I didn't write out our rules here for you so everything you think about them is speculation..that's why your "what ifs" don't matter.
The "Your Honor" joke was good but It's not like that at all.....It's hard to explain....but like I said our communication and relationship is better than pretty much every one I know and this is the reason. You don't have to approve, agree or like it but it works well for US.
@Cable Guy.......If you were keeping track of my hour you would know that after that hour came I did start writing again.....answering some questions and missing some (yours) Obviously I didn't have time to write out the list......I will if you want it.....up to you.
I'm just now seeing Tony's rant. So I guess I'll clear up what HE said.
Fury wrote:
"Care to share any of the rules of your relationship? Any rules harder to abide by than others?"
and Tony's response was:
"Yes there are rules but Im driving.....ill write them in 1 hour!"
so why all the hostility? We all just assumed you were gonna do what YOU said you were gonna do, which was tell us what the rules are. That wasn't MY question, that was Fury's question. I couldn't give a damn about the rules, and if you don't have time to write them (but had time to write all that other shit - you wrote a paragraph to Courtney alone) then don't write it. Its not up to me, it's up to you. I ain't keeping track of shit.
at the end of the day, I don't think anyone gives a shit about the rules, we were just curious since it IS a blog and you decided to share that you were in an open relationship. It's all discussion. There's no reason for anyone to disrespect anyone. And I don't think Courtney was trying to "son" you at all. "C'mon son" shouldn't have been taken that way...unless maybe I just see it differently since most NYers know "c'mon son" isn't a personal attack. At the end of the day, I respect Brooke's blog, and I'd never try to come back on a chick like that anyway. A dude, yes...but Courtney? I don't come at women like that, but that's just me.
"Nope I don't have a problem with any of this and am not defensive at all....I give a fuck about you or your opinion....I don't even know who the fuck you are......"
If that's not a defensive tone, I don't know what is. Courtney, do not even respond. A man coming at you like that is some ole b*tch sh*t.
Daannnnnggggg... This blog did get a little heated up.. But I dont know why though. Its suppose to be a general conversation among each to share personal opinions and thoughts to excercise each others mind to possibly look at things from a different angle. People are not all going to agree with each other all the time and thats okay and very natural, thats what makes everyone different. Its okay to agree to disagree. Maybe that gets forgotten sometimes.
But somewhere, somehow this blog went left. And you can definitely feel the hostility :(
I agree, we shall move on :)
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