Friday, June 10, 2011

Proposal Fail


I don't know about you all, but at least 5 of my Facebook friends posted this link to their Facebook page. Watch...and cringe. (Sorry about the ad you have to suffer through first)

Embarrassing: Man Proposes In The Club In Front... by thehiphopconsultant


Yes, it was probably very embarrassing for him to be rejected in a club...but we'll talk about rejection later. He proposed...IN A CLUB. Maybe for some women, that might be romantic. But for any potential suitors of mine I might have out there - don't do that. EVER. A club? Really?

Anyway, I think it goes without saying that you probably shouldn't propose unless you know she'll say yes. I think that's common sense, and I think most men know that - but clearly this guy misfired...badly.

Most people have discussed marriage prior to actually getting engaged. It's important to find out how the other person feels about having kids, how to RAISE the kids, finances, division of chores, merging accounts, religion, etc. prior to actually asking for someone to spend the rest of their life with you. If you have never talked about marriage, you should before thinking about proposing. They might not even want to get married. Or they might not want to get married TO YOU.

But if you all DO decide that you want to marry each other at some point and you're planning on proposing, may I suggest a few places where you SHOULD NOT propose? This is just a list according to Brooke - and some of you may even think the places I'm going to list are wonderful places/ways to propose. To each his/her own :-) But if anyone is ever planning on proposing to ME - let's just say I might find these places questionable. Feel free to add your own:

1. At a basketball/football/sporting event:

Stereotypically speaking, men love sports. But unless your beloved shares that feeling, you should probably avoid the "jumbotron" proposal. There’s nothing less romantic than screaming, drunk fans who probably couldn't care less about your proposal - and if you propose at a Philadelphia Eagles game, be prepared to be booed...whether she says yes or no. And if you get rejected, the jeers will ALL be directed at you.

2. The "Hide the Ring in her Dessert" Proposal:

Aside from it being a choking hazard (make sure you know how to do the Heimlich Maneuver), your bride-to-be really doesn’t want to have to hunt for her ring in a chocolate lava cake or accidentally drink it out of a glass of champagne. Worst-case scenario, she swallows it and you have to spend the next three days waiting for your fiancee to pass it. Save yourself the time and the latex gloves and simply pull the ring out of your pocket at the restaurant when you want to propose. Besides, you don't want to trust the waiter with something that costs 3 months salary.

3. At someone else's wedding:

Remember that scene in The Best Man where Taye Diggs proposes to Sanaa Lathan at Morris Chestnut's wedding? Wrong for so many reasons. Your boo may not want to share one of the most special moments of her life with anyone else, especially not a bunch of wedding guests she may not know. And it's just rude. That day is about the couple getting married, not you or your girlfriend. The proposal should be about your lady...and someone else's wedding should be about them. It's thunder stealing haterade...and just plain wack!

4. On vacation:

Only acceptable if you know she’ll say yes, because it’s impossible to escape if you’re rejected. Imagine she says what? Y'all gonna be all mad at the pool? Are you going to go crying on the beach? Arguing over breakfast? For seven to fourteen days? Not a good look. You might just break up permanently, and your vacation is ruined.

5. On finding out she’s pregnant:

Searching for the right words to propose?

“You're period is how many days late? WTF??!! You told me you were on the pill! You're keeping it? Shit. I suppose we’d better get married then.”

Yeah, that ain't it. Nothing about those words sounds loving or romantic. Just because you and your unmarried partner find out you’re expecting, it’s not an excuse to phone in a half-assed proposal. Propose because you want to marry that person, not because the condom broke.

6. By phone/email/text/Facebook:

Speaking of phoning in proposals....just...NO. Email, text, dare I say Facebook? Don’t even think about it. The same applies to a paper note, with check boxes saying "Yes, No and Maybe." This will only work if you are nine years old and your wedding guests are Power Rangers.

7. During sex:

I know my loving is good, but c'mon son. It doesn't count. We all say funny things during the long stroke, but a proposal should never be one of them. In T minus 30 seconds, you’ll probably feel quite differently, and/or be asleep. But trust me, she'll remember...and she might call "no backsies!"

8. On TV:

Wouldn’t it be fun to take something private and do it in the most public forum possible? No it wouldn’t – too much pressure and potentially very embarrassing...especially if you're on live tv and they can't edit it out. And if you do it on tv, and she says no, it'll be on YouTube, Facebook and Twitter before you get home (like the poor fool in the clip I posted who proposed to his girl in a club).

What other ways/places to propose are potential disasters for things to go horribly FAIL? And if you have a proposal-gone-wrong story, feel free to share :-)




Anthony Otero said...

first bitches.. HI STEF!

BatMan said...

Hi stef !!!!

BatMan said...

Hi Stef !!!!

Stef said...

Hi...bastards! LOL!

Annamaria said...

Damn... it's beat up on Stef day...LMAO

I saw this & was like this dude did SOMETHING wrong to her cuz she was unmoved by the whole thing.. LOL she looked like she was only crying cuz he ruined her "perfect proposal"

Although I would have probably never picked the stage of a play as my perfect proposal it was & that is a memory that will make me smile for years to come...

I do however have a friend that I used to work with. She dated a guy for a few months & then broke up with him... The week she told him that she never wanted to speak to him again HE PROPOSES... AT THE COMPANY X-MAS PARTY...IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.... Needless to say she got another job right after that!

Brooke said...

Oh wow!

I would never have thought to add the company holiday party to my list, but that's a good one!

And that's also another good one to add: Don't propose to keep from breaking up!

Tony said...

Happy Friday ya'll!

I don't know why I feel so strongly about this but I do. If two people love each other deeply enough to even consider marriage what difference does it make where the proposal happens? I don't get the "Perfect Proposal," "Perfect Engagement," "Perfect Wedding" thing. People go through all of this perfection and then don't have the commitment to stay with their "Perfect" partner through the tough times. Its a bunch of crap! If we (yeah I am included) put half as much effort into the MARRIAGE as we do into making the SYMBOLS of marriage perfect we would have stronger families and better long lasting marriages.

*stepping down*

Tony said...

AND! taking a closer look at this it seems like he did this to try to fix their relationship....he says, "I can't go back and fix the things I've done." It was done for the wrong reasons.

Anthony Otero said...

I kinda agree with Tony. But, Brooke is right that you should know that she just might say yes. I am not into the theatrics. I think that it is a moment only meant for 2 people.

If have there is an audience it is almost like they are cheering like it was a WWE event.

Annamaria said...

@Tony...There is no such thing as a perfect anything it's just an expression... and it's all relative.. what may be MY perfect proposal may not work for everyone.. at the end of the day I wouldn't have cared if Powerz proposed to me in the house at the crack of dawn with morning breath...LOL the answer still would have been yes... but I appreciate the fact that he made the effort & made it special for me. The same way we both make the effort in our relationship..

Heck we're getting married next week.. I'm currently battling a horrible cold, it's supposed to rain badly the day of the wedding & my maid of honor is injured YET it's going to be the PERFECT day... because it's our wedding day & as long as we say I do mission accomplished!

Brooke said...


I guess this list for me was more about avoiding potential disasters...with a couple reasons thrown in for good measure (ie: during sex or if she's pregnant). And I DID put in the disclaimer that this was simply my list and others may think the jumbotron proposal is awesome. I just wanted to see if there were any other scenarios out there that other people had that I didn't :)

Tony said...

Jumbo tron? LMAO!

i understand that the term is relative it just really bothers me that either one or the other of a supposedly "in love" couple would be so selfish as to 1. Embarrass her man like that and 2. Embarrass his woman like that!lol!

My wife and I got married on our lunch break at the county court house BUT we promised ourselves that we would have the Blow Out wedding she wants AFTER we got the marriage thing working on that....Good promise to make in order to save money on that one huh?

Annamaria said...

@Tony...U better give that woman her perfect wedding! LMAO

Tony said...

@ Annamaria.....It's in the planning stages for February 25, 2013 our 10 year anniversary. Plus it will take her that long to get all her family here from PR!

Brooke said...

On my birthday!!!???

Well, invite me so I have somewhere warm to go for my bday :)

I actually think that's a great idea. The marriage SHOULD be the focus, not the wedding.

Annamaria said...


See my perfect wedding involved only a few of my family & that's why we pick the Dominican Republic instead of Puerto Rico.. Had we picked Puerto Rico there would have been 600 of my close friends & family & that's not what we wanted. We wanted the day to be about us..

Stef said...

I think Brooke's list makes perfect sense. Sometimes I think men OVER think the proposal to the point where they miss the mark and do something foolish. Sometimes it makes for a great story, other times, a disaster. Everyone is different and each proposal should be unique to the couple, but there are definitely some reasons not to propose and I think you listed some good ones.

The Cable Guy said...

Don't do it at a hip hop concert. I've seen good.

Stef said...

I'd shank a dude who proposed to me while Jay-Z was on stage.

Anthony Otero said...

Stef, if you shanking dudes, I am not sure a proposal will

Annamaria said...

@Stef...what if Jay-Z proposed during his concert.. (Provided that you were both single and dating...LOL) would that be ok?? LMAO

Yolanda said...

All I know is, he betta ask my Daddy before he asks for my hand. And I'd like him on bended knee. The other particulars we can fill in... Although I'm not a fan of doing it at family functions or in front of a bunch of folks.

Hayden said...

Lawd...a woman in the office said "I'll take it!!" It's amazing that some women JUST want to be married regardless of who it is. They just want the ring!

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