Monday, June 27, 2011

Teenagers and Sex at Home

Happy Monday!

So I was bullied into blogging today. This little, newly married Puerto Rican named Annamaria Williams called bullshit on me when I said I had blogger's block, so here is today's blog - courtesy of a shank wielding, taser prone Anajolia.

Recently, the blogosphere has been abuzz about the subject of parents who allow their children to have sex in their home. Their reasoning is simple: Kids will do it anyway, so we might as well allow them to have sex "safely" in the home rather than out in the street....or car...or wherever kids have sex nowadays.

When I heard about this on the radio last week, all I could think was, "My mother would FLY MY HEAD if I even THOUGHT about having sex in our house." Would never happen. I wasn't even allowed to have male company while my mother wasn't home, let alone get a lil somethin' somethin'. That would be just asking for an ass whoopin'.

But are parents changing with the times? We all know teenagers are having sex at younger ages, and if they are intent on doing it, it'll happen - whether we like it or not - and it will probably happen in your home when you're not there anyway. That, or under the bleachers, or parked cars...or over their friends' houses. If a kid wants to have sex, they'll make a way - so are parents smart to control the environment and keep their kids "safe?" Why is it "safer" anyway?

Personally, I don't see me being THAT cool of a parent. I'd hope to have an openly communicative relationship with my child where we could discuss contraception, the consequences of having sex while so young, the emotions involved, STD's and the possibility of pregnancy and what decisions come along with those things. It's heavy to think about, and I don't even have kids...so let me ask the people out there who do: Would you allow your child to have sex in your home? Why or why not? What if you found out your child's boyfriend/girlfriend's parents allowed it - with no regard to whether or not you condone such an action? If your child told you they were sexually active, would provide contraception/birth control, or would you try to talk them into abstinence?

I'm curious to read varying opinions on this: After all, it's your home - so you set the rules based on your own comfort level. Let's discuss!

-b

26 comments:

Annamaria PR Williams said...

First BITCHES! I'm back!

Stef said...

DAMMIT!!!!

Stef said...

Congrats Annamaria Williams, but I'm still pissed you beat me!

Annamaria said...

I am from my mother's school of thought on this subject.. NO ONE BUT MYSELF & MR WILLIAMS WILL BE FUCKING IN THE HOUSE. I understand that they will do what they are going to do regardless but why should I make it easy & acceptable for them. Let them learn responsibility & make arrangements to do what they wanna do. Besides IF I make having sex in my house acceptable then if god forbid someone gets pregnant I have to shut up & accept that too. Besides I am the parent NOT the friend.. and I want my child to show that level of respect...
Heck up until a week ago I wouldn't even admit to my dad that Powerz & I had sex and we have a baby! LMAO..

The Cable Guy said...

I'd whoop my kid's ass if they had sex under my roof. That's blatant disrespect considering they'd know I was against sex under the age of 18. No way Jose.

Brooke said...

I'm pretty sure your dad knew you were having sex Anna, regardless of your lack of a confession - or lil Sophia :-) LOL!

Stef said...

I'd f*ck my child UP if they had sex in my house. Like Anajolia said, only me and their father will be having relations in the hosue. We've earned that right and we're grown, and until they pay rent, no way. Even if they DID pay rent, you don't do that.

I would never have sex in my mom's house now, even though I'm sure she knows I'm not a virgin. It's a respect thing.

If I found out my child's boy/girlfriend's parents allowed that, I'd chew their ass out for not consulting me first. If my kid got pregnant or knocked someone up under their watch, I'd kill them AND the kid. Hopefully any child I have would be brought up to know better, so that's my only hope.

If I found out my child was sexually active and I felt they were hell bent on having sex, I'd definitely provide protection and hope to have an open communication about it so that no mistakes happen. I want to keep them safe until they got their mind right.

Yolanda said...

Congrats Powerz and Mrs. Taser!

My Mother worked nights and she wouldn't even let me sleep overnight without her in the house. She shipped me off to my Grandparents' EVERY night until I graduated high school. HIGH SCHOOL! So um, sex in the house was a no go. I never even would have thought about it. I didn't have many dudes sniffing around anyway but still, you learn to look forward to things (like college, where you can let your freak flag fly!) and you keep it in your pants until then. Horny toads! Kids have access to everything these days. Go read a book.

Yolanda said...

Now, when I lived home after I left college, I may have taken a little liberty once or twice (rarely) but never as a teen.

Annamaria W. said...

Thank you Yolanda.. I LOVE how u said Go read a book! LMAO

Annamaria said...

@Brooke.. No he didn't..
I'm Daddy's lil girl.. I would never do that.. ask the crew.. My daddy is in total DENIAL. and we're happy that way!

Sillouette said...

That is an ULTIMATE NO NO!!! and extremely disrepectful... And parents who allow are not seeting a good example... Smh... Times have truly changed for the worse..

Tony said...

Hey ya'll (trying to be a natural Floridian)

Nope! No fucking in my house!

I was recently faced with the sex issue in my parental life...my oldest daughter is 20 and my oldest son is 17.

Here is what I said....

As your father I am telling you that having sex is dangerous in more than one way. The first is the danger that you will become a parent as a teenager when you are too immature to pull your pants up and too lazy to clean your room. If you have a child at 16 you put yourself in danger of not being able to afford and attend college, could mean that you will work in minimum age jobs for the majority of your adult life and never have the luxuries that your spoiled ass has become accustomed to.

The second is that you could contract a disease that could not only will make you horribly sick and disfigure your Vajayjay (in the case of Herpes) but could also kill you.....SO DON'T DO IT

As am man who was once 16 I will tell you that I KNOW you could possibly experiment and I am begging you for the sake of your future and your health to please use these condoms......


So far so good.....

Tony said...

Congrats Annamaria!

The new Mrs. Williams.. said...

@Tony... Thank ya!

The Fury said...

I agree with y'all. No f#cking in my house. they better sneak it like I did! And if they get caught...*cocks shotgun* All of that is grown folks business. I didn't dare have sex in my parents' house until I was home on college breaks and then...I snuck it like all the rest of my college friends. You gotta at least show some outward respect for your parents.

The Fury said...

Congrats Annamaria and Powerz!

Jay said...

I wouldn't dare have sex in my parents house - even now as a grown ass man. That's why you wait til you're at least in college - so you have your OWN bed to lay in. Sneaking it in the house was disrespectful, so I never did it. And I'd expect any child I have to show me the same respect.

If a child's parent allows them to have sex in the house, I'd hope they shared that information with me so I could forbid my child to go there. I know I can force my child to have certain friends, but I wanna know who they're dealing with and who their parents are so I can have a nice talk with them. No f*ckin in MY house or THEIR house.

If my child became sexually active, I'd have no choice but to educate them on birth control, contraception, etc. I'd just hope that I did a good job explaining the risks as Tony did. I want them to make their own choices, but be smart about it.

The Cable Guy said...

@Tony,

Do you think your 20 and 17 year olds have started having sex yet?

Anthony from CharismaticKid said...

Thinking about it, it could make teens have less sex since it's not TABOO anymore.

Domina*Tricks said...

I remember my mother asking me if I was sexualy active at 16. I was, but was afraid to tell her at first. But the more we talked about it, the more comfortable I felt expressing myself to her and she warned me about STD's, pregnancy, etc. She told me that if I was going to have sex, that she would take me to get on birth control and she showed me how to use condoms. Just that trust in me made me want to stop, it didn't ENCOURAGE me to have sex more. Once we were able to REALLY talk about it, sex didn't seem worth it to me anymore.

I think parents are afraid to really talk to their children about sex, but if you determine that your child is curious, or thinking about it, jump in! Telling a child that you'd condone sex in your home AFTER you've already discussed all the drawbacks to sex may deter a child from doing it...kinda like reverse psychology. I know some kids will consider it open season, but how many teenagers REALLY want their parents to know they're fuckin at home? They'd probably still sneak, but there may be a method to a parent's madness here. Just another take.

Domina*Tricks said...

@Anythony,

MY thoughts exactly!

Tony said...

@Cable Guy......Sorry I'm late but yes.....They both are. They are honest with me about it and they told me when they became active and reassured me that they were both using protection. I can't really ask for anymore than that.

Brooke said...

Damn, Ashley is 20?? I remember when she was born...I must be getting old. Damian is 17???? dang!

Tony said...

yep!

spchrist said...

I'm not a parent but I would beat the pants of my child if he or she had sex in MY HOUSE.

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