Friday, June 17, 2011

Phoenix Rising

Phoenix Patrick.

They’ve spent quiet times together in the living room, but today was special.

Shining through the curtain was the sun – (reminding him of her nickname – "Phoenix." He calls her "Phoenix" because she shines like one).

His rebirth came the day she was born, his soul reincarnated, his life complete and now worth living ever more.

Today is a glorious Saturday afternoon as he’s done reading from her favorite book of poetry, when he suddenly realizes for the hundredth time, the metaphors and similes of heartaches, sacrifices, and pain he had gone through. You see...he suddenly had an epiphany of sort – he was now a Dad.

She’s “Phoenix” to him, the torch he vowed and promised her on the hour of her birth, he would never let die.

That hour he gave his life to protect the only precious being he’s ever fallen for from first sight.

Yesterday, he was awarded Full Custody. Another rebirth. He calls her Phoenix, not only because she shines like one, but represents a new beginning - a reincarnation of his soul. He takes her proudly by the hand as they take a walk outside...father and daughter enjoying each other's company. Knowing fully the sacrifices, the allegations he had to overcome to wear the badge of “Dad” proudly on his sleeve - finally...his spirit has risen.

- Patrick


Anthony Otero said...


Anthony Otero said...

Congrats Patrick. That is beautiful little girl. I have a feeling you will be a great father.

Stef said...

Damn, Ant beat me again!

I love that this is written sort of like a poem (right?) :-)

Patrick, what challenges do you foresee raising a daughter as opposed to yesterday's blog where he was raising a son? Did you both agree that your daughter would live with you or did you fight for her?

Jaz said...

Congrats on being awarded custody. She's an adorable little girl and you both look so happy together! Its rare when a father is awarded custody of a daughter since we usually think a mother can raise her better. Just goes to show what a great father you are.

Courtney said...

I loved the poem and the title! Very cool, and congrats on getting custody!

I'm not sure if Patrick read yesterday's blog, but the same questions I had then can be applied to him, especially raising a little girl. Thoughts?

Serena W. said...

Poetic and beautiful! Congrats Patrick and Happy Father's Day to all of the men out there!

Ms. Penn said...

This was sweet - you sound like a proud papa! Little girls have a way of capturing their fathers' hearts, and it's quite apparent here that this precious girl has yours. Happy Father's Day!

Patrick said...

@ Stef - I foresee many challenges in the future but none that I don't welcome with open arms and love; One of my scary moments would be in the mall - "Daddy, I need to go to the bathroom!" and I think I need to take hair care lessons. lol! :)

Yolanda said...

This was really sweet. Congratulations Patrick.

On another Father's Day note: I'm already seeing questionable Father's Day statuses and posts from people and blogs I follow in my FB feed. I wish folks wouldn't tear down all fathers or men in general because they've had a bad experience. There have to be other/better ways to address grievances with your father than airing them out on FB.

Happy Father's Day to all the papas in this blog family. I know we've got some exceptional ones here.

Stef said...


Is the mother around at all, or do you have female role models/helpers you can call on? Have the mother give you lessons! LOL!

The Cable Guy said...

I think I could raise my daughter, but the thougth of her first period would terrify me! I'd definitely be handing that off to the mother or MY mother.

There are challenges to raising ANY child, regardless of gender. If you're a committed parent, you can make it work.

Ms. Penn said...

My dad used to be better at doing my hair than my mother was! :)

But he kept it simple, while my mom wanted to try and do all these elaborate maybe that's why :)

It's endearing that there are so many great fathers to young girls on this blog. I don't think most men realize just how important daddies are to little girls and how they shape our view of men growing up. The men on the blog appear to be good guys overall, but make sure your daughters see you as a good man period, not just a good "daddy." We watch your interactions with women and how you treat them and our mothers, and that plays a big role in how we choose men to date and marry. Make sure to treat ALL women with respect, not just your lil girls.


Jay said...

I've enjoyed the series this week, and today's poem was no exception. I was short, sweet and summed up beautifully his thoughts as a father, and all he had to go through to be a true father.

Everyone's experiences this week spoke to me, and I'm not yet a father - but the sentiments expressed make me look forward to it even more. I know it'll be challenging, but I feel it'll be the most rewarding thing I may do as well, God willing.

Harper said...

I'm new to this blog, and just finished up reading up on all the fathers day blogs written this week. This was great! I am a newly single father of 2 girls (widowed) and I was searching the web for advice, articles, discussions on single fatherhood.

This blog, as well as yesterday's, helped me to know I'm not alone. I'm not ashamed to admit that I joined a support group for single fathers, particularly as a father of young daughters. I relied on their mother to navigate all the "tricky parts" of raising girls - and now she's gone and I'm afraid. But I have to do it.

What I have learned mostly from my support group, if I may share, is that I need to find a support group for them too, a group of strong women mentors to help me. I can't do it alone, and that's okay. Most men want to be super heroes and do it all ourselves. We want to shelter and be over protective of our daughters and solve all their problems for them.

But what I have discovered is sometimes girls just want you to listen to them. Something I relied on their mother to do. Men solves problems, mothers listen. Now I have to learn to listen more, and HELP them solve problems, not solve them for them. I have to learn to give them some space to make their own mistakes, lead by example, and be there for them when they fall. I have to go to their games, their recitals, SHOPPING with them, and meet their friends. I have to make sure I ask for help when I need it (like with hair care, I get it Patrick!) and any other "woman" things that I just simply don't know about. It's okay to not know and ask for help - which is humbling to me.

I just try to be as involved as possible, try not to be too overbearing, and I try my best to communicate. Men and women communicate differently, so I have to adjust my "man ways" and be more patient and understanding. I believe I'm doing well so far, but it'll keep getting harder as they are on the brink of being teenagers. God help me, but I'm drawing strength from other men like yourself - so thank you for this post and every post this week. It has inspired me more than you know.

Ms. Penn said...


I'm so sorry for your loss, and I applaud you on joining a support group in order to be a better father to your daughters. That takes courage, and I was touched by your response. God bless you and your girls - you already are a great role model to them and I wish you all nothing but blessings.

Jay said...

@ Harper,

I echo what Ms. Penn said. I can't even imagine your situation and my heart and prayers go out to you. It DOES take courage to not only admit that you're afraid and need help, but to actually seek it and get it. You have my respect, and good luck with raising your girls.

Stef said...


So sorry for your loss, prayers go out to you and your family - especially your girls. I'm sure losing their mother was devastating, so thank God for you and your commitment to being the father they need. It takes a strong man to admit he needs help and that he can't do it all. It sounds to me like the support group was exactly what you needed to help you be an even BETTER dad. You are an inspiration to all dads out there. Happy Father's Day to all!

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