Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Happy Hump Day!
Speaking of "humping" - Tiger Woods has apologized for his "transgressions." Guess it had something to do with that voicemail...ya think? What voicemail you ask? Oh...you didn't hear it? Oh...allow me :-)
Yikes!
This is the statement he released on his website:
I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone.
Although I am a well-known person and have made my career as a professional athlete, I have been dismayed to realize the full extent of what tabloid scrutiny really means. For the last week, my family and I have been hounded to expose intimate details of our personal lives. The stories in particular that physical violence played any role in the car accident were utterly false and malicious. Elin has always done more to support our family and shown more grace than anyone could possibly expect.
But no matter how intense curiosity about public figures can be, there is an important and deep principle at stake which is the right to some simple, human measure of privacy. I realize there are some who don't share my view on that. But for me, the virtue of privacy is one that must be protected in matters that are intimate and within one's own family. Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn't have to mean public confessions.
Whatever regrets I have about letting my family down have been shared with and felt by us alone. I have given this a lot of reflection and thought and I believe that there is a point at which I must stick to that principle even though it's difficult.
I will strive to be a better person and the husband and father that my family deserves. For all of those who have supported me over the years, I offer my profound apology.
Well, at least he didn't call a press conference crying on tv with his wife holding his hand looking all pitiful. He has decided to handle his business privately with his family. We'll give him that.
I started to write a blog titled, "If You're Gonna Cheat, Do it Right!" Number One on that list would be not to leave damaging voicemails! But I couldn't make it funny...and besides, I wanted to see what the ladies on The View were gonna say first :-)
The morning jocks on the radio were full of jokes too, saying that "side chicks" don't follow the rules anymore. Well, my response to that would be to be more selective with your side chicks - and if you can't do that, then don't have any.
The truth is, when it comes to infidelity, sex, love or any other private matters of the heart - there are no rules. I could write blogs on how to cheat, how not to get caught, the rules of being a sidechick, how to break up with the sidechick - but it would all be done for jokes.
But at the end of the day, this is sad. Tiger is human. He's not God. He's not the squeaky clean man many believe him to be. He's a golf phenom and an endorsement powerhouse who may take a bit of a tumble. But he'll be fine. He's used to performing under pressure. And he always wins.
Just like Kobe came back from his rape trial mess, so will Tiger from this. He'll get on the golf course, demolish his competition, and we'll all love him again.
Powerful men, talented men - they always seem to emerge victorious, even when they fail their families and make their PR machines work overtime after their "transgressions" are made public. Part of being great means that all of your faults are put on blast for all to see. Men and women cheat everyday, they fail their families everyday, they fail themselves everyday - we just don't see it on CNN and TMZ.
I can't even say that I'm surprised or disappointed anymore when a Bill Clinton, a Kobe Bryant or a Tiger Woods is caught cheating. Powerful men are never told they can only own or run ONE corporation. Superior athletes are never told they can only excel at ONE sport. Wealthy men are never told they can only have ONE portfolio...own ONE house. So why should that stop at women? Yes, we can ask, "If you can't be faithful, then why have a wife?" That's a logical question with maybe a not-so-fair answer.
There's a benefit in business or a corporate environment to having a wife. It gives the illusion of stability. Maybe it's not an illusion. But most powerful men who have the world at their feet, like Tiger Woods or Michael Jordan, want EVERYTHING. They're used to going after and getting what they want. Money, fame, championships...and yes...women. It's almost as if it goes hand in hand. I'm not saying it's right, or fair to the wives who genuinely love them, but it is what it is.
Some women know exactly what they're getting into, and they co-sign their man's lifestyle while reaping the benefits. Others? Well...they get hurt. They think their man is different. They think he'd never do anything to let his family down. And sometimes they're wrong.
Then reality sets in. She checks his voicemail. She checks his phone...and then he takes a 9-iron to the face and crashes his ride.
Tiger will get his truck fixed. He'll disappear for a while. His face will heal and he will win another championship. He will be fine. His family will be fine. And so will we.
-b
62 comments:
First? Bitches?
"Its in the Hole!!"
DMoe
He fucked up & he got caught. His ass should have never done it just like no one else should do it. Don't get married cuz it seems stable. Cuz ur setting urself up to fail! I feel sorry for the kids!
Fuck Tiger! That's what his snowflake havin ass gets!
Okay, so forget what color wife he has, the point is, why have a wife if you can't keep it in your pants? There's no excuse, and men who cheat disgust me! Fuck all of them I say!
Tell us how you really feel Stef :) LOL!
Let's be real here - I think most of us knew this was true when we first heard the allegations. I mean, there's a lot of bullcrap and speculation in "news" stories, but the official story of her busting out the windows to save him - and him being dazed and cut up in the face with no airbag deployment or damage to his area - just didn't make sense. And, working in media, I know that I - and more than likely, Brooke-Ra too - can spot some crap and some reality a mile away just by how the story SOUNDS.
And I doubt anyone is gonna come on here and start defending his actions. But let's BE REAL.
Do you watch sports? Do you indulge in TV, movies and/or musical entertainment? Do you have a love for men in high areas of media, literature, business and politics?
Well guess what. Name any of the men you like, admire - whatever - and more than likely, they've been shagging multiple women rotten while being in a relationship at some point in their careers.
That's just TRUTH. Oh, some of you like to THINK the man you like for whatever reason is different. more than likely, he's NOT. My girl was watching an episode of "The Game" last night, where the characters were at an engagement party for one of the players. A certain woman walks in with a player, and all the rest of the players get nervous. Why? Cuz they had ALL ran through her at some point, from the "good" guys to the "bad" ones.
And I told her (which she actually already knows) - people laugh at that show, but they have no clue how based in reality it TRULY is. The most absurd moments I can usually relate to some celeb or athlete I know or know about - makes me think they talk to players constantly.
Tiger's gonna get a heap of people running his name in the mud, admonishing him, etc. These same hypocrites will be cheering on D.Wade, Shaq, Kobe and LeBron. Or Cornel West (yes, even HIM), Bill Clinton and Al Roker (oh, you don't *know*?). How about Will Smith, Morgan Freeman or Al Pacino, hmmm?
Let me stop dropping dime on folks...
Point is, this crap happens all the time. What separates Tiger truly is that he got caught. Seriously - that's how many celebs view it. Those who got caught, and those who didn't (majority of them). If even half got caught, they probably would be more hesitant to do it.
They're not. And never will be.
I'm not a cheater. Nor am I a liar. The irony in those two things is if I WAS, I'd be masterful at either - cuz I've sat back and watched for years HOW to do both and how NOT to do both. And I know people who are masters at both frowned upon acts.
Tiger'll be fine. And TRUST - the wife knows about him. He's just considering whether to crush him publicly with an ugly break-up or whether to stay and be treated like a Princess for AT LEAST the next decade while he has to play nice to protect his assets - meaning, do ANYTHING to keep her happy and looking the part of the happy family.
I've been watching this show since I was a kid. Longest running show in America.
Wow, Stef feels some type of way!
And I don't blame her or any other woman out there. Or man who's been cheated on for that matter. It's not cool, and if you play, you better be prepared to lose. It's a risk he was willing to take and it's biting him in the ass now.
But like Brooke said, he's Tiger Woods...he'll be fine, just like Kobe. He's a great golfer, not God and he makes mistakes like anyone else. He'll let his play on the golf course speak for him now, and this will all go away.
Let's not forget that he's just a golf nerd. From the age of 3, all he's done is play golf. He was playing national tournaments from 14 on. Aside from golf, he's just a boy.
My point: when it comes to women, he's still just a kid. Meaning, he married the first hot chick he met ... way too young (like Kobe).
That's why he'll need a Double Kobe Special.
The only thing that'll save his marriage (like Kobe) is the pre-nup. If not, (like Jordan) she'd be gone.
I meant SHE'S just considering - typo.
Don't hate or feel sorry for Tiger. He has a billion more dollars that us. He will be fine and come out generating more money than ever. Wifey and the kids will me fine so Annie Mae don't feel sorry for them. This crap should not be in the news because cheating is not news. Both men & women have been doing it long before we've been on this earth and it will be going on long after we're gone.
Live and Let live.
But on the real, if you gonna be so slopy and have crap on your phone when wifey goes through your phone you deserve all that you get.
I can't wait to see the nasty rock Tiger has to buy her to make up for his transgressions. Watch out Kobe. LMAO!!!!!!
Fuck that. He's just a boy? please. There are dudes out there who are old school G's STILL playing these stupid games. Men just don't learn. And it's always the ones wtih the most to lose who do dumb shit like leave voicemails talking about "this is Tiger" and "my wife is going through my phone." He's stupid. And I hope they yank all his "good boy" endorsements away. What baffles me is why these men don't learn from OTHER people's mistakes. You'd think they'd all see what Kobe went through and stop the madness. If you can't learn, then you deserve all the hell you catch and then some!
@ V - Kobe's marriage wasn't saved by the pre-nup. Any good lawyer can circumvent that- ESPECIALLY in California where Kobe lives.
Kobe's marriage was saved by Vanessa weighing whether it would be better to keep him with this transgression over his head for the long term. Cuz no matter how much she got in the divorce, it pales in comparison to being on Team Kobe. You wanna know who the highest earning athlete in the world is behind Tiger Woods?
Kobe "Bean" Bryant. Not even exaggerating - look it up. more than LeBron. More than A-Rod. More than even Jordan.
Kobe.
Juanita Jordan's marriage to Mike was over in the early 80's. They didn't get divorced for eons after that. Why? Same concept. Better to be on Team Jordan than off it. She left after he no longer needed the "good father, good family" image.
I could go into so much detail on these celebs, you would think Perez Hilton comes TO ME. And how do I know all this stuff?
It really ain't hard. I'd go as far as to say over 50% of the guys I know who work in media know a lot of these things. It's that easy to find out if you're in those circles.
We'll see what Elin does. But trust she ain't the first -and won't be the last.
All -
This is proof positive that even "The King of the World" is but a man.
None of us are beyond reproach, and at some point, this is a big mistake in this very famous, very successful guy's life.
Extraordinary figures in this world do the same things that ordinary men do. I'm in a few conversations on this today, and alot of the consensus from the homies is that the voice on the voicemail is him being reduced to a regular dude based on the circumstances.
I agree with him returning to the top of his game, and eventually getting past this. If his family and God forgive him (which we know he will), so must I.
DMoe aka Chase Lounge
@ Stef - don't learn?
Please refer to my previous comment. Like I said - MOST never get caught by the larger public. And, a privileged guy like Tiger ain't gonna be nowhere as slick as say, (insert star who grew up without silver spoon here). Same thing with Kobe Bryant - he was emulating what was going on throughout his entire team, but has no clue how to be slick with it.
But no one ever talks ish about Derek Fisher, Rick Fox or Robert Horry. Those guys *couldn't* have been cheating, right?
I'm just gonna enjoy the "upset" comments from many of y'all - and wait to another blog to read you go on and on about another powerful entertainer who is doing the same thing that just hasn't been exposed yet.
It's pretty funny to me with this entertainment stuff...not what they're doing. The "outrage" that people have for some and not all...
annamaria said...
He fucked up & he got caught. His ass should have never done it just like no one else should do it. Don't get married cuz it seems stable. Cuz ur setting urself up to fail! I feel sorry for the kids!
========
Someone is not from the real world in the above comment. "His ass should have never done it". It isn't against the law. Let's be real, he isn't the first man in history to do dirt and definitely won't be the last. He's a billion dollar athlete, he will cheat! It's up to his wife to accept it. And let's be real bout this, she is married to him because he is Tiger Woods-THAT'S IT.. Got to accept the pros as well as the cons with the situation.
Only cheating men say "we have to forgive him." Fuck that. Men stick up for other men who do this stuff because THEY probably out doing dirt too! I know people cheat, but that don't make it right! Especially not in the AIDS era! You cheat on me, I'm out, plain and simple. And I'll take your money with me, fuck Team Kobe and Fuck team Jordan. And fuck Team Tiger. They can all go to hell.
Why are we not talking about all the cheating women as well. This issue is not just about men cheating, its about people (men & women) cheating. Whether they are famous or not. It is human nature to be tempted and go after things we are not supposed to. If anyone out there has children you should know that. No matter how much they know they shouldn't touch something they still do anyway. So I say stop the madness this will blow over in a month and we will be on to something else.
Do you Tiger, do you too Elin.
@Stef -
If "Lioness Woods" gets caught like this, the same things apply. She is merely a human being that made a mistake.
That's said with love. L.O.V.E.
Dmoe
@ Stef - I don't think that "only cheating men" say we have to forgive him. While I didn't say that, DMoe did. From every indication on this blog, D seems to be a stand-up guy. So let's not make that assertion.
I don't think anyone on here has said or will say that cheating is right. That's not the point. It's just facing reality. Example - I can cry about why some people don't like the color of my skin all I want and get upset. Or I can accept it as a reality and deal with those who could care less, all the while keeping reality in plain view.
Same with this. Reality is, this happens. And you support these lifestyles by paying for whatever entertainment you do.
We ALL do it. It's REALITY.
As far as taking people's money...there's a flip side to that coin. Don't believe me?
Ask the mother of 50 Cent's child. Not everyone gets half when you're rich, powerful and famous. Many of these women are playing a game most people know nothing about. They know what they're doing when they stay - it's NOT the same way the average person deals or works through infidelity. TRUST.
Stef, I feel your rage!
Woo-saaaa!!
No one is saying cheating is right. I think we all agree that it isn't. It's a shame it happens, but it does. I hope no one on this blog ever has to go through it because it's a painful thing.
And Annamaria has already detailed how she'd shank, tase, destroy tv's, MDX's and put sugar in gas tanks of motorcycles if Austin ever pulls a "Tiger" (used to be "pull a Kobe" LOL).
But forgiveness is not for us to give cuz he didn't do anything to US. He did it to his wife and family. Anonymous, adultery IS illegal on some level, which is why people can sue for it in divorce. Marriage is a contract, it's rarely about love anymore.
That being said, this is a matter between him and his family. He owes us nothing, he owes THEM and God, if he so chooses to believe that way. God and his wife need to forgive him, not other cheating men (or women).
Everyone on here "seems" to be a stand-up guy or girl, but that don't mean they "are." I'm not naive enough to believe that everyone is as they appear on this blog, so let's be real about THAT.
Not saying Dmoe isn't a stand up guy, but I don't know him for that to NOT be true either.
Anyway, I think saying it's reality is a cop-out. When I see something wrong, I speak on it, and call it out for what it is. And in this case, Tiger is an asshole and he's stupid. That's all.
I'm very much from the REAL world! Have been in it all my life & know he's not the first nor the last. We've all had it done to us & I'm sure more than one or two of us have done it to someone at some point in our life! But he can't wanna be nice & polite & trying to work it out now. If u wanted shit to work out then you should have NOT done it. Yes lots of men & women cheat... BUT guess what lots of men & women don't!!! Sooo no I don't feel sorry for him I think he's getting what he deserved & had he not wanted to be in this situation he should have kept it in his pants. And I don't care why his wife is with him. He made the decision to wife her so don't fault her for her motives now? WTF did he think she was with him for??? His sparkling personality? Once again I feel sorry for the kids since they are the only innocent bystanders in this!
Stef is mad!!
And I can't be mad at that. Personal experiences can dictate how we respond when we hear about infidelity. If we've been burned by it, then the sting can come back when we hear about stuff like this.
I've cheated before. Not on a wife, but a girlfriend. I was young and stupid. And she found out and she left me. I think men get caught when we get so arrogant that we think we WON'T get caught, and then we get sloppy. I'm not proud of it and I never did it again. I learned from my mistake and I know that my wife won't have to worry about that because I suffered a loss. I had to learn the hard way.
Now Tiger may or may not learn from his mistake, but it's his mistake to learn from. We've all made mistakes that we need to learn from, it's just that some are considered "smaller" mistakes, or "lesser than" others' mistakes.
But I'm also not Tiger Woods, with the media up my ass and endorsements on the line. Everyone's situation is different and most of us don't have to deal with our fault the way celebs do because our reality is different. It doesn't make it right or fair. Cheating is not right, but paparrazzi outside our door isn't right either. It's all a part of what YOUR reality is and realizing and accepting the world around you. In this case, Tiger should know by now the scrutiny he is under and maybe made better choices. But at the end of the day, it's HIS mistake to learn from, no one else's.
Things like this always make people seem to lose sight.
No one here has professed to feeling sorry for him. And no one is ignoring the reality of the situation. But it's their business - why do we care THIS much?? I agree with you on offering your opinion Stef - you SHOULD call bullcrap out for what it is.
But the fact remains that I'd say 85% of all famous and/or powerful men do this. THAT'S the reality I'm speaking to. And EVERYONE on here will go out next week - hell, maybe even today - and do something to finance one of these men's lifestyles. You think it's different cuz you found out? It's not. So when you're enjoying that movie with (insert star's name here), realize he's just the same.
Some of you have even defended Lil' Whoopi on this blog - you know, he of the multiple babies by multiple women, cheating and/or leaving all of them? Yeah, that dude. What's the diff? His "swagger"? He can make a catchy tune? His wife at the time never called out his cheating publicly?
Man...please. It's wrong. It ain't right. But if you're so upset that Tiger and other people do this, then I shouldn't read any posts from anyone bigging up any male (and many female) entertainers. Or politicians. Or celebs at all. Cuz it's hypocritical. Plain and simple.
I'm not defending it or co-signing it. I'm just saying THEY ALL DO IT. Delude yourselves if you like.
I don't support ANYONE who cheats - man or woman. You don't hear me bigging up almost ANYONE on this blog, and if I do, it may be because I don't know what they do. But I just call bullshit when I see it, and Tiger's actions are bullshit.
Jay, I love your honesty!! Brooke, LOVE HIM!!
And I know it's his mistake to make. I guess the part that pisses me off is the "I'm so sorry" part afterwards. The "tail between the legs" part. Negroes act like they didn't think the shit was wrong WHILE they were doing it. He's going so far to cover his tracks by asking her to take her name off HER DAMN VOICEMAIL so that HE doesn't get caught. Fuck that! If you're going thru all that to NOT get caught, then that means you know your shit is wrong! He's not calling her talking about "it's over, I made a mistake." NO! His ass is saying "take your name off the voicemail" but I'll be hittin that next week. Fuck that. Don't be sorry now, cuz you knew you were wrong. They're only sorry AFTER they get caught. If you know you'd throw yourself off a bridge if your husband or wife found out, then that tells you you shouldn't be doing it!
Tiger played himself. He left a voicemail to a chick who was just waiting to get him. And he got GOT. He'll deal with it and move on. That man won't be losing any money and his wife ain't going nowhere.
Let's talk about that. The women who stay. Most women on here, Stef included, would find it hard to walk away from being Mrs. Tiger Woods. Ya'll mean to tell me you'd leave his ass? Yeah right!
Do you really think Tiger Woods give a FUCK if anyone of us forgives him or not? To that end do you really think that he gives a FUCK if his WIFE forgives him? I don't. Every man who ever cheated thought to themselves just prior to penetration, "What if my wife finds out?" He thought about it, weighed the chances of being caught, decided that they were marginal, decided that he could sufficiently play it off if caught and then......He fucked her! He knew full well what he was risking. He made the choice! His choice! Now the only ones that have to deal with that are him and his wife. None of US!
His children won't be hurt by this unless some asshole decides that it's best that they know what kind of person their father was (like the pissed off wife) and tells them. There is no need to feel bad for them.
Adultery is NOT illegal in all states and that is why (In Florida) she can't sue for divorce for that reason.
He fucked up! Proves he is a man just like any other man. Every man and woman will fuck up in their lives including everyone in this blog. Get over it, past it, through it, whatever you need to do because Tiger already has.
That is the reason he is a billionaire he has the ability to thrive under intense pressure, he can lay down in a pile of shit and come up smelling like roses. Judge not......you know the rest. Have a good day.
@ Cable Guy,
YES I'd leave! And you what, I'd probably leave MORE because he WAS Tiger Woods than if he was some regular dude. At least I'm not HUMILIATED in the media for all the world to see if I DID stay. Yeah, me and Joe Blow can work it out if it's just us. But this ain't just Tiger and his wife. Now the world is looking at her like "what you gonna do now bitch?" He embarrassed her and his family by doing this. Men (and women) don't think about that. Forget his endorsements, think about YOUR WIFE! He probaby cares more about what AMEX and Gatorade think than what SHE thinks. Probably cuz he knows her ass ain't going no where! And that's fucked up!
If she leaves, she'll still have money, so why stay? He's never going to stop cheating, and if you chasing after his ass with golf clubs, then clearly you ain't in it just for the money, cuz otherwise she would have stayed her ass in the house and started counting her money. She should bounce and take his shit with her.
Dang! What I miss??
There is no right or wrong answer to if she should stay or not. It's up to her, and we all know she will probably stay. Money aside, they have two kids...and on the real, women don't like to lose. If anything, she'll stay so that the other woman doesn't "win." You all know it's true...and Tiger would have to leave HER, and he ain't doing that cuz he feels guilty. And he might even love her, who knows.
Anyway, cheating is wrong, and it's a risk you take. Some can do it and never get caught while others aren't so lucky. The only difference here is that Tiger and Kobe and all the other cheaters Rameer named are in the media and we see them. Most of us can do our dirt without cameras following us. We're lucky in that respect. But if having billions of dollars is the price you pay for scrutiny, then so be it..and I'm sure many of us will choose to have the billions rather than do our dirt in anonymity. Not all, but most. It's hard to say, but we can't judge. It's messed up, but none of us are without sin.
And Tiger will be back and bigger than ever. That's the way our society works. So if I was him, I wouldn't worry...so why should we?
Women leave and stay for their own reasons. It depends on what you're motivated by. If you're motivated by love, money, pride, whatever - each person is different. I can sit here and say I'd leave - but honestly, unless I'm put in that situation, I don't really know WHAT I'd do. I'm sure Elin is accustomed to a certain lifestyle now, but at the same time, the public humiliaton can be enough to make you leave. But aside from this incident, I never really saw her. She stayed out the public eye, so hiding while staying with him and dealing with this might not be that hard for her. Who knows.
If you're motivated by money, big houses, Louboutin's and never having to work a day in your life while raising your children - then yoiu stay. If you're motivated by pride, love or your marriage vows and what you hold dear, then you may leave. I'm sure they'll take some time to figure it all out and do what's best for them.
She ain't getting shit! If she leaves she'll leave buck naked. There is a reason he married a nanny from Sweden! She doesn't know shit. She signed a prenup and will get nothing.....you don't think they talked about this before they admitted to it? They met with their lawyers who told her exactly where she stands. Golf nerd or not Tiger is NOT stupid.
Brooke, you really can't sit here and say that you'd leave or stay difinitively? From what I read fron your blogs everyday, you seem to be grounded, spiritual and smart and level headed. Do you REALLY think you'd stay if you heard that voicemail message?
It's hard to honestly say what one would do with 100% confidence when the issue of marriage and kids comes up. Hard to know if you're not in that position.
Speaking of being in a position, I'm gonna play the Bad Guy here (shock!) - let me hip y'all to something. 85% of all men in this world will probably never know what it's like to be in the position or feel what celebs and powerful men feel and go through. But we can at least talk to each other and get an understanding, cuz men are forthcoming with that type of info amongst themselves.
Women? 98% of y'all will never have a clue.
We can all sit here and talk about who would do what and all that caca. But truth is, if you were catered to and kow-towed to for a large part of your life, given enormous money, power and respect, AND had the most beautiful humans throwing themselves at you 24/7 - you would probably weaken and succumb at some point. ESPECIALLY if the people and the environment you're in supports this.
I learned this before I ever worked in media - I was a pretty good football player in high school, so I got props. But that was nothing compared to when I went to a D-1 major university. I was cool with many athletes, some of which some of you may or may not know. And I saw and experienced things with them that women simply aren't privy to. Even if we told you, THE EXPERIENCE is something almost know woman will go through.
So it was foolishness to me when I'd hear a fellow student say "why can't such-and-such be faithful? His girl is beautiful, and she's a good woman." Um, cuz such-and-such just went on a trip to Florida where he had 6 agents let him drive a lamborghini around town, fed him and took him to the top-end hotels to secure him when he goes pro. In doing all this, he had twenty women who looked BETTER than Halle Berry throwing themselves at him, and three of them were female celebs.
Oh - and he goes through this every road trip. And sometimes on-campus.
I remember the film He Got Game. There's a scene when a dude is talking to Jesus Shuttlesworth about how he's gonna make his decision. Jesus is saying how he loves his girl, how none of the tricks will matter in his decision. The guy lays out some temptations. Then he gets to my boy's favorite lines in the movie:
"And they got that P---Y for you, Jesus! How you gon' turn down that P---Y?!?"
And you know what?
Being bombarded with certain temptations every day for years wears down almost anyone. Don't think so? Check out some historical torture methods. There is a point where almost any human will break without help of some kind.
This isn't co-signing it. It's reality. A co-worker and I were talking and WE got it. We don't agree with it, we don't co-sign it, but we *understand* that this happens and why most powerful men do it.
But the women at my job are up in arms way moreso than the men. Not cuz the men are cheaters and scumbags - cuz we simply know that we can't say 100% that we wouldn't succumb at some point to this world of temptation that few experience.
I'll await everyone to lambaste me for illuminating the truth - which still won't change the fact that it's *the truth*.
Wow, wow, wow... emotions are high on this one, huh?
Brooke, loved the way you laid it out. Loved it!
Rameer-- on point.
Annamaria-- I agree with you. If you're not down for forever and trying to be just with that person, than why bother to get married? Why bring children into the world if you know that you are willing to conduct yourself in such a way that will definitely scar them for life? Why take someone off the market when you know you're setting them up for extreme hurt down the line? And if you are a public figure, why do all of that knowing that it will be 10x the hurt and pain to have to deal with the world-wide humiliation on top of it? Not cool at all.
A few misguided souls-- in some states, adultery is a crime. In Illinois, they advertise it on the radio and t.v. all the time to remind folks that it is punishable by law (don't know what the punishment is) AND that all parties involved (i.e. the errant spouse and anyone that person got with during the marriage -- even while going through a divorce/separation because they are still legally married) can be sued for extensive damages.
Anyhoo, with all that being said, as for Mr. Woods-- I still respect his game. I never looked at him for more than an exceptional golfer which he still is, so I can't say I'm especially disappointed. I'm still not going to watch a golf tournament unless he's playing in it... talk about keepin' it real. Why do folks get so caught up in someone just because they are great in their selected job if the job happens to be public? What's that all about? Sports, entertainment, whateva.. they are all jobs and there is a LOT of work that goes into those folks staying phenomenal at what they do. I hope Elin gets the comfort she needs from her family, but other than that... whoopdie-doo. It's not my business. I will say that I think as mentioned, Tiger didn't know how to pick'em if he was gonna do that kind of dirt. And clearly he shouldn't have been leaving texts and voicemails like he lost his doggoned mind (no pun intended ;-).) But alas, as long as he doesn't allow his personal crap to keep him off the green, I'm cool.
God Bless you all,
KP
Now that's some real talk, Kells.
Love it whenever I get to read your opinions - be it on blog, listserve or Facebook...
"A few misguided souls-- in some states, adultery is a crime. In Illinois, they advertise it on the radio and t.v. all the time to remind folks that it is punishable by law (don't know what the punishment is) AND that all parties involved (i.e. the errant spouse and anyone that person got with during the marriage -- even while going through a divorce/separation because they are still legally married) can be sued for extensive damages."
Thank you for illustrating my point. Tiger lives in Florida not illinois and in Florida adultery is not even grounds for divorce let alone illegal. It doesn't matter what the laws are in any other state except for Florida.
hey Kellie! yeah, I love reading her comments on listserv too :)
To answer Stef's question - no, I really CAN'T say what I'd do with 100% certainty. Not if I was Mrs. Tiger Woods anyway.
Maybe as regular old Brooke Dean I might be able to tell you, but if I was Mrs. Tiger Woods, with 2 children, maybe not...because I don't know what that's like.
I've been cheated on before. And when I found out, I bounced...no hesitation. But I also wasn't invested as heavily. I wasn't married. In some cases I hadn't been in those relationships for more than 6 months or a year. I don't have any children to think about. I don't have property to split or two sets of in-laws to please. I didn't have to hire any lawyers. It was just me and myself and that's it.
The Brooke that you read in my blogs is me...on a day to day basis. But the Brooke that you read in my blogs isn't married, has never been married, doesn't have any children and isn't in the public eye either. We change day to day, and our experiences challenge us, shape us and guide us differently everyday. Who I am today may not be who I am tomorrow, and I'm not who I was 10 years ago. I can't tell you what I'd do if I were in someone else's position until I've walked that path myself.
I'd love to sit here and say that I wouldn't let anyone hurt me, or cheat on me or humiliate me and get away with it. But when you love someone, built a life with someone and had children with someone, it's about more than pride and money and ego. It becomes about family, not just me. It becomes about time invested and what you stand to lose - whether it's love or money, security or pride. At the end of the day, I can tell you how I'd feel, but not what I'd do with those feelings. At least not today anyway.
Did anyone see the THIRD mistress?
Best looking of the bunch thus far...I hate working near a newsroom sometimes. We get all this info and everyone passes it around/talks about it...
Here's the story - I sent it to Yolanda, too.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/12/02/kalika-moquin-photo-pictu_n_376611.html
yeah, I saw it too...since I watch tv for a living, I've seen all the women coming out the woodwork, Tiger wasn't playin!
I hope they all move past it, I would never want to be in that position.
Yep -
Chicks are comin' up out the ground like zombies in the Thriller video...
Wow. I'm another one who watches TV for a living (sort of) and the stories are simmering.
Dmoe
Okay Brooke, I guess I can respect that. I can tell you right now, it wouldn't be me. I'd have my lawyer on speed dial.
And I hope you didn't think I was saying you weren't a strong or smart woman, I just feel that you'd be the type not to condone it or stick around with a guy who did you wrong.
I know what the reality is Rameer, not questioning that, but I just think it sucks. I'm just stating my opinion on the blog like I do every day.
As a man who has been cheated on and stayed; I can tell you that what Brook says is true.
When there are children and investments such as time, money and emotions involved the "I would leave them" attitude changes. As the person that was cheated on, you have to look past your own emotions and look towards whats best for everyone invilved. It helps if the cheater is remorseful and willing to change or seek counseling. It's a tough situation to be in, believe me.
@Stef
I certainly don't condone it, and I probably wouldn't stick with a guy who did me wrong...but I probably won't be married to man as powerful or successful as Tiger Woods either :)
And not for nothing, I'm sure there are men and women who are struggling with that decision, no matter who they're married too. In most cases, money and security are all relative. There are some women who will stay because their husband makes the money, whether he makes $50k or $50 million. There are some women who stay because they have children, no matter if THEY make more money than their husbands or not. It's a matter between 2 people, not the rest of us. There are no right or wrong answers when it comes to if you should stay or leave. The woman who chooses to stay could be me or Hillary Clinton - with two totally different motivations for why we do. The woman who leaves could easily be me or Shaunie (sp?) O'Neal. Sometimes it takes a few times for the woman to leave. Everyone has a breaking point or a limit - it's just all a matter of what that limit is.
Oops, sorry for the typo Brooke :)
@Tony
Did you find it harder to stay as a man? I find that most men aren't as forgiving when it comes to being cheated on...mainly because of ego. I've heard that men and women cheat for different reasons, and since women are considered "emotional" cheaters while men are seen as "physical" cheaters, it's harder to deal with when a woman cheats because it's about more than just sex most times.
If a man cheats, women are more likely to stay and work it out, or so it's reported...but if a woman cheats, men usually can't take it and leave. But you didn't...so I guess I'm wondering what made you stay vs. leaving since that's what it's said most men will do.
No worries Tony :)
And I didn't know you went thru that. Jaz is right, most men aren't as forgiving when it comes to infidelity. I know a few men who have cheated on their girlfriends/wives and their women stayed...but then when their women cheated on THEM in retaliation, they couldn't take it...and then LEFT!! I was so shocked by that, but then again, I guess if you cheat in retaliation, you're only just staying to hurt the person, so they shouldn't be together anyway.
@ Jaz
I don't know if it was any harder for me than it would be for a woman but I can tell you that it was hard!
I stayed because after the wave of emotions had passed; I looked at my children and realized that they still needed me around and not just part time. I also realized that instead of intense hate, I still very much loved my wife and I believed that she loved me. There were conditions (which were all met) and it's still a work in progress 5 years later.
I don't publicize it at Family Reunions Brooke :)
Very few people know about it I do have some ego after all!
@Tony,
Did she tell you WHY she did it? Just curious? Or do you even care?
I only ask because most women always wonder what the other woman has that we don't have, so I'm sure men wonder the same thing.
I asked her why and she said it was because of the problems we were having in the marriage at that time. I don't think that the issues we had warranted what she did but that was her reason.
Awww shucks guys... you're making me blush! ;-) Well, that's pressure... If this one is bad, please don't hold it against me!
Now back to the problem at hand:
Dang, Dang, DANG!!! They all gonna come out the woodwork now. I don't know Rameer. She has a better shape and a nicer, prettier smile, but the second one's face is prettier if you ask me. I do believe the first one was just used to blow smoke in the hole to get the others out. She wasn't involved with him. She's pissed off and threw the two chicks that made money off the so-called story wayyyyy under the bus. I believe her. But the second one was the stone-cold bust. And this third... I feel for his wife, because I think she really does love him. But clearly she bores him.
Rameer, before I read your last post, I couldn't help but wonder, what the heck is Tiger doing in Vegas all the doggoned time without his wife anyway? How stupid could she be? And if he says it's a business deal, you don't have to distrust your man to hold him down. She should have been right at each engagement with him-- they do have nannies after all.
Brooke- I really respect what you said about not knowing what you would do in that situation. So many people judge without having to deal with all the factors that you speak of, or all the ones that we can't even think of. I don't know what I would do either. I just pray every day that when my day comes to join my life with a man, he will be strong enough not to put me in a situation where I have to figure it out... or go to jail. I'm nice, but...
As for one of the things you said Rameer, about that 98%... I hear you. But if a woman plays her cards right, she doesn't have to rely on her man to keep all that stuff going if she has to exit the marriage. I couldn't help but think of Nicole Murphy who I bumped into a couple of superbowls ago. Everyone still knew her as Eddie's ex rather than Strahan's girlfriend (I actually felt kinda sorry for him... lol). She still commanded the attention of just about everyone just by walking in an event with her being so statuesque, and you could tell she was at peace. I was happy for her. She may be one of the 2%, but that number needs to grow. Peace of mind and heart is so much more valuable. And with that, you can maintain all the other intangibles you're used to. If a woman's main reason to stay in a bad celeb marriage is about keeping a lifestyle, then they should do some work. Write a tell-all. A good one will fund her for a good 30 years. There are surely enough nosy people to make that a reality. Do it during the separation so that when the divorce is decreed, the book drops and everything that she's "used to" continues to flow. But I really don't like all these gold-diggers (I know, another subject) and all the talk about what someone was "used to". Heck, as a good wife, your husband should be used to your home cooking and being able to, u know..., wheneva. If he can't get all of that that he's "used to", then why should you be entitled to something that came from his hard work unless you helped him along the way to get it? Golddiggers are glorified Thieves. Okay. I said it. Personally, I think they should be prosecuted as grand larcenists. Okay. Let me bring it back to the topic at hand...
With all that being said, dang Tiger! DANNNNGGG!!! lol I really don't like to get caught up in all this kind of mess, but I have to admit, I wonder how many more are gonna come out. LOL
LOL!! I wouldn't publicize it either Tony :) It's a private matter, and I would think the more you talk about it, the more people will add their 2 cents and opinions on what you should do, so I think I'd keep it between us as well. But sorry it happened nonetheless.
I'm glad you two are working through it though :)
Do you think it matters how you find out if you stay or leave? If he/she tells you, I'm sure that's better than finding out on the cover of the National Enquirer or voicemails being leaked from US Weekly :)
I found out by catching her red handed or bare assed or however it should be phrased! That was when I realized that I didn't have the temper people thought I did. I never raised my voice or my hands to either one of them.
Wow Tony,
I think it is very courageous of you to open up to us about this in this kind of forum. I hope that your decision truly was best for you and your family... children, wife, and self. May God continue to be with you all as you push along the path you've found. Though it may be harder, I'm sure that if it is right, it will be far more rewarding than if you chose a different path.
God Bless...
@Tony -
Wow.
I cant think of anything besides the words to "Jesus, keep me near the cross."
Man, that's heavy.
DMoe
OH HELL NO!
Now see, that's where I might be locked up! BARE ASSED??? She might have had a cap busted up her ass!
I don't mean to make light, but c'mon son! Bare assed?? You're a good guy and you must love her, cuz there's not a jury that would convict me. Crime of Passion!!
You're a strong man.
wow...that's gotta be hard.
Not sure I could recover from that, but then again, I've never been in that position.
And as your cousin, I have to say I'm surprised that you didn't yoke both of them up myself...I guess you don't have the temper I thought you had either! :)
But like Kels said, you made your decision and it seems to be working for all of you so far. I'm happy for you and your family, because that's a hard thing to work through.
WOW! Thanks?
@Lady K.....this was the best decision for all of us. This forum is the easiest forum for me to talk about it and the conversation brought it out.
@DMmoe....I had to stay. She meant too much to me to throw away after one mistake.
@Stef.....Violence never crossed my mind at all....
Brooke....
I changed a little I guess...don't hold it against her....ok?
I've never met her, so I don't know her yet. I hope to meet her soon :) I can't judge anyone, especially someone I've never met.
Well, I CAN, but it's not my place to :)
Like I said, that's a private matter between you two, and if you forgave her, then my opinion doesn't even matter :)
She seems like a great person from what I know so far, and great people can make mistakes. I'd like to think I'm a good person, but I'm FAR from perfect.
I come back and read what Tony wrote...
I'm completely floored. Wow. You're a STRONG brotha, dude.
God bless.
I've never been married, obviously to normal readers. I've been cheated on once in my life - and I stayed as well. Relationship eventually fell apart...but I DID stay and try to work through it and make it work.
@Tony,
I'm happy you're working things out. I know as a man, sometimes our egos get in the way of what we really want. Once the dust settles you have to see what's really important, and I'm glad you didn't let your feelings cloud your judgment. Life isn't always black and white, but anything worth having is worth fighting for.
@Brooke, I love your responses. I like that you keep and open mind and I love that you wrote your blog the way you did to give way to some good dialogue and not just "look what Tiger did." Cheating is a taboo topic sometimes, but I think you handled it tactfully.
Thanks Jay :)
It's a hard topic sometimes because everyone's opinions vary based on their personal experiences. Almost everyone has either cheated, or been cheated on - and I'm sure none of it is fun. But it's a great discussion simply because there really are no right or wrong ways to handle infidelity. The scenarios seem endless...the discussion can go on forever.
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