Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Happy Rainy Hump Day! (in the NYC anyway)
It's raining cats, dogs, Tigers and lions and bears outside! Geesh!
Speaking of Tigers, it just never seems to end for this cat.
One thing that is very noticeable about all these women that are coming out of the woodwork (with the exception of maybe a couple) is they all seem to be blonde. Tiger seems to have a "type."
Most reports have glossed over the fact that all the women are white.
And really...who cares?
But some have wondered if El Tigre has ever dated a black woman, or an Asian woman. I mean, after all, his mother is Asian...and we seem to think that most boys are attracted to women who remind them of the women in their lives - whether it's their mother, a grandmother, a favorite auntie :-)
My nephews seem to gravitate to "beige" women with long hair. (Kyce calls colors like he literally sees them) But it's no surprise, considering my sister is...uh..."beige" with long hair. When Beyonce or Alicia Keys are on tv, Kyce drops everything and stares...and he's only 5 years old.
So, you're in a crowded room...or subway...or Perkins Restaurant...and you catch someone's eye. No one else in the room...or train...or restaurant...matters. You both feel "it" - whatever "it" is. The undeniable sparks. Chemistry.
But what is that chemistry based on? Looks? Personality? Familiarity?
I'm sure it could be a combination of all of those things...or none of those things. It's something that continues to baffle scientists, poets and those who sing sappy love songs. What is it about a certain type of guy or girl that gets us all tingly?
Sometimes we're attracted to the same type over and over again without even knowing why. We gravitate towards tall men, short women, blondes, bald headed dudes...over and over again. What’s "familiar" about our recurring stream of sweethearts may not always be immediately evident though - at least not on the outside anyway.
People may feel chemistry with someone who treats them in a way that’s familiar because it’s a dynamic they know. A woman who grew up with a father who was a rolling stone jazz musician, for example, may end up with a wild-man rocker dude, who’s similarly unpredictable but (hopefully) in more positive ways. A guy who grew up with a nurturing mother who babied him and waited on him hand and foot might be attracted catering women who have no problem washing his dirty drawers. So, your relationship could echo some dynamic from your past.
Unless, however you never thought your wandering father or docile mother was cool. In that case, you might be attracted to men and women are the OPPOSITE of what you saw growing up, simply because you don't want to be with someone with those characteristics.
Perhaps it's possible to not have a "type" at all. Some people don't see race. They don't see "colors." They don't see height, or weight, or even distinguish certain personality traits from another. Some people just see each person - individually to determine if there's a spark.
So, tell me - do you think chemistry is a universal thing that can apply to ANY and EVERYONE? Or do you feel that familiarity breeds a bond? That "like attracts like"?
OR
Does the theory that opposites attract explain why we're drawn to someone completely unlike ourselves? And will the differences between two people presuppose passion - but an inevitable downfall since we wind up hating them for the very things that attracted us in the first place?
I'm curious to read your thoughts on this - and I want to know if any of you have a certain type that you find yourself dating over and over again.
Let's go!
-b
45 comments:
FIRST B*TCHES!
anyone but her azz...
BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
For the love of god, PLEASE -
Tase her!!
Dmoe
Hmmm I feel like I used to have a type. Majority of the guys I dated all looked like my first boyfriend lol. He was tall, slim and "beige" with light brown eyes lol. Although I don't feel that I have a type...at least not anymore, my friends all seem to think I do I feel like I'm attracted to people who are funny and have beautiful smiles. They can be any shade, our personalities just have to mesh.
HAHAHAHAHA DMOE you should get another job...hating on me won't pay your bills LMAO!
Y'all are funny :)
Mo, I've never seen any of the guys you've dated, but I always imagine you dating guys that look like your brother :)
I used to get teased for liking light skindededed chicks. I never thought I really had a type. I just like black women. But I do look through my pictures of old flames and I could see how people could think that. But what I'm really attracted to is laid back funny girls. If you can get me to laugh..that's half the battle. Let me adjust that''' laid back funny girls that can cook!
And if you can rock a pair of sweatpants, some Nike running sneakers (gotta be nike) and little baby tee t-shirt, and a hat and still look cute... I'm tryna marry you with no pre-nup! (You can have half my $8)
I have a type.
Tall, caramel complected, bright eyed women with amazing smiles and is a great writer...especially of blogs ;-)
Sound like anyone you know B?
But honestly, I don't think I've dated the same exact type of women over and over again. But all have to be intelligent with a great sense of humor. I'm more a repeat offender when it comes to personality, not appearances.
I actually believe that men are attracted to women who are NOT like their mom whereas women are attracted to men who are similar to their dads (or whomever is their best male parent figure). Most men dont want a women who would replace their mama where women want to continue to have that feeling of security they were shown by daddy. Can I get a witness?
Brooke,
Your nephew and I have the same reaction when Alicia and Beyonce are on TV. I DROP everything and go into a trance!
Floyd
I agree with Midnight on that one. NONE of the women I've dated remind me, look like, act like my mother. That's not to say my mother doesn't have any great qualities or isn't an attactive woman - but none of the women I dated remind me of her. They were equally as great, just in different ways. I don't wanna date my mama though.
Personally, I love a woman's "way" rather than a specific set of outward features.
I havent had much (if any) consistency with the look a certain kind of woman over time. I'm more drawn to the individuality, rather than just a specific type.
Call it "case-by-case".
None really looked like/reminded me of mom, and that's kinda gross to think about anyway. LOL.
I like em brown, yella, puerto-rican or Haitian...
Dmoe aka Da Brat
Sorry Monica...but I must tase you! lol
Anywho...I don't think I ever had a type until now...And it wasn't purposely...I noticed after the fact that I am living with my father. He acts the same way & even the way he treats Sophia reminds me of the way my dad was with me.
BUT he's funny, sweet, charming, smart, ambitious and a huge goofball that knows how to have fun and I love that especially cause I'm a huge goofball...
Sounds like we like the same type of woman Jay - the brown suga, blog writin, great smile women of the world :)
Now back up off my woman! lol
And I agree with Midnight too, none of the women I dated reminded me of my mom - and I've never dated any Jamaican women, even though both my parents are Jamaican. Some of the women I've dated though say I remind them of their dad, so there may be truth to that...who knows.
I do tend to date mostly brown skin women though - not light, not dark, just brown...like Brooke :)
Brooke... your public is awaiting you on the TOgether AsOne page... LOL
Floyd, you and Kyce could hang :)
Do you think married against type, or in line with your type?
None of the guys I've dated remind me of my dad...or my stepfather. Interesting.
So no dude wants a woman like their mother - not even as far as personality traits? Or a woman who takes care of a family the way their mother did/does?
Oh snap! thanks Pretty Ricky!
@Anna - Are you for real!! LOL
I want a woman who is strong, can raise a family, be a great wife and maybe make a brotha a sammich every once in a while :) And my mother does those things for my dad. THOSE things, yes...but I think MOST men want that. But at the same time, I can cook for my woman. I can be a great father and HELP her raise our family. It's about what works for US. That is what worked for MY parents, but if I meet a woman who doesn't want to be a stay at home mom like my mother was, then I'm cool with that too. I think times have changed from when my parents where together to how people are in relationships now, so I think we kinda change with it.
Some basic things DO remain the same though, and I hope to have the strong marriage they have.
Yes Mr. GEEQUE!!! I am for real.. He is EXACTLY like my father... to the point where it's scary....lol...
Answer the question Geeque?? What's your type?? And if you don't describe my girl I will shank you!!!!!
Hmmmm @ Jay... the role of the traditional wife. Me and my girlfriend argue about that all the time. I'm not saying that my wife has to stay home with the kids... but I do know I don't want a nanny or a babysitter raising my kids. I want to at least be able to make it so that my wife can stay home with the kids the first 2-3 years of there life. The second th8ing is for me to create a very flexible work environment for myself..so that I don'thave to miss a ballet recital, soccer game, or help with the homework!
But going back to the traditional role things. I guess in the end, I want for us to focus on the things in the relationship that we're good at. But I can tell you now... I'm not the best cook... I can clean a little.. I hate ironing and laundry and folding clothes. So I know I need somebody to compliment that! LOL
Say hi to The Bad Guy...
First off - the reason most of the men who have answered on here don't want a woman like their mother and why you are unlikely to find anyone who chime in who do is this - that's a cultural thing. White men tend to find women who are essentially their mother at a much higher rate than men of color. The Sopranos even had that as an element to their show.
As far as having a type, I've never had one so to speak, but my boy Doc has ALWAYS been able to look at a woman and tell if I'd go crazy for her physically and personality-wise. It wasn't a type like most people think - but he could always say "you would LOVE this woman" and would NEVER be wrong. We physically have always thought the same women were attractive - regardless of race, age, body type, etc.
I will say this - I LOVE short hair. Most women I've dated don't have it, but I've always loved nice, short hair. Hally Berry's hairstyle - even though I don't necessarily like her as a celeb - is STILL sexy as all hell.
And we obviously know I don't like fakeness or a lot of make-up if you follow the blog...lolz.
BTW - no offense, Brooke-Ra - but I don't believe people when they say they don't see race or colors. I know you didn't say that was YOU, you said "some people don't see it". I've always said - that's always the first indicator that someone is full of sh*t when it comes to topics of culture or race.
When I was young, I used to amuse myself by proving anyone who made that declaration wrong. It was typically very easy to do...once I became an adult, I realized their just full of caca, whether they realize it or it's subconsciously. We ALL notice race or someone's color. And it plays into our behaviors daily, our preferences, etc.
Lastly - Capatain Cable - give it up...you might win some, but you just lost one. Jay got it wrapped...
I'm not even gonna him Jay anymore. I'm gonna call the man Hov, or maybe Jigga...he's got the DYNASTY! And I can read between the lines...money is nice with his. I'll say no more...
***cues up Sade's "Smooth Operator"***
ARRRGGGHHH! EXCUSE THE DAMNED TYPOS!!!
I agree Rameer, I find it hard to not notice race. I think what they should say is they don't CARE about it. You can notice it, and date someone DESPITE their race, but of course I think we're all aware of what someone's race is, or even their complexion if your color struck.
We make judgments everyday, whether we know it or admit to it or not. Those judgments play into our preferences, our "types" - all of that. I was discussing this with Mo at lunch just now and I find that I tend to look for intelligence and personality before looks.
I'm drawn to intelligent, witty people in general, and men in particular. My sister would always say I dated "nerdy guys." I would say they were more "cerebral." As much as I love sports, I never dates the stereotypical "athlete" - never in high school or college. I love athletic men, the way they move, how they look...but that's never been the "it" thing that makes me fall head over heels. It's always a person's mind or their ability to make me think or great conversation that does me in. So I guess if I had a type, that would describe it right there.
@Pretty Ricky,
So are you saying that cooking, ironing, cleaning, etc. are traditional women roles? Do you think those roles existed because of a certain time, even with women in the work force the way they are? Or are these roles universal and timeless? Break it down!
Rameer if your boy can pick out specific women that you would be attracted to then you DEFINITELY have a type. lol
My type is a woman with a big ASS...Not no apple bottom ass...I want the whole fruit basket...I want me a "FRUIT OF THE LOOM" ASS....
Color and Race? I don't give a beetle's dick...As long as the COLOR of my penis stays the same after sex and I don't have to RACE to the doctor...I'm good...
@Pretty Ricky,
I don't think those are traditional roles per se, but that's what I saw growing up. I'm not saying my wife has to do all the things my mother did - but if that's what works for us, then so be it. I won't pigeon hole her into a certain role just because that's what I'm used to seeing. I just know that the roles my parents played worked for THEM and that hopefully my wife and I will be able to agree on what works for US. Not all families function the same, and there are some men who work from home and take on more of a parenting role than their wives. I have to be man enough to recognize what works best for the both of us and not feel threatened in any way based on what traditional roles are defined as. Of course we all have our preferences, and I want to be able to provide for my family IF she decides she DOES want to stay home and raise our children. But I won't be making that decision for her, we'd be making it for ourselves.
Now, since I got a ringing endorsement from Rameer, I guess I better start picking Brooke's brain to see where she stands on all this stuff ;) Is she my future baby mama? :)
Just stopping by to say I love the topic today. I really have no idea except that without fail if the man is taller than me and makes me feel like a woman then I feel an immediate attraction. I love it when they are charmers (not always in a good way) and are creative (DJ's, photographers, filmmakers, etc). Is this a good thing for me - maybe not, but it's what I like and what seems to be the pattern for most of my dating life.
I think it all depends on what you're exposed to.
All Tiger Woods saw growing up was blond white women.
Me, I really don't have a type. Truly. But that's because I grew up being exposed to beauty of all types: Korean church, Jewish neighborhood, black friends, white school, and later living overseas.
Had I grown up in San Diego, I'd probably only be into blond white chicks. Koreatown ... probably only Korean. Etc ...
My definition of attractive doesn't include skin color or culture but I think that's mainly a product of what I was exposed to.
@ Momo - but he's the ONLY ONE than pick out a woman I like! And even he doesn't know how he does it. I think he simply figures if he thinks she's bangin', then I will too. Cuz if you took a look at a cross-section of women I've been with - you'd probably be like most people and be like "huh?" Meaning it's hard to get a "type".
My type might be really pretty women...I've been accused of being superficial by those who don't know me well cuz I tended to date "model chicks" and not "regular, round-the-way girls". But I'm going against the grain with that nowadays... =)
@ Brooke-Ra - I completely agree. It's one thing to not care. But to say you don't "see" it? I call BULLSH*T when I hear people say THAT garbage...
And I did some miscalculating...YOU made the playoffs, Brooke-Ra!!! But in a STUNNING turn of events, DMoe DIDN'T!! I'm shocked...if you remember, right after the draft, I thought he had the most well-rounded team in the entire league. I'm flabbergasted at this turn of events.
But you and Ant? You're in! The bad news?
You play ME.
Sorry...but I gotta do it to ya...
Speaking of which -
I was making my run, but damn. One game out?
Missed the playoffs by one game?
Smite me O mighty smiter!
jeez.
Dmoe
Wanna drop Drew Brees and give him to me?
Lolz!
Craig is back...in full effect!
I made the playoffs? Really? Go figure! Cool...
I find that I'm attracted to creative types as well Glee, and I don't know if that's good OR bad yet :)
V - you've definitely been exposed to EVERYTHING, and I know you find all types attractive. That's a great thing :)
HEY!! I get first dibs at DMoe's players! I need them, you don't Rameer!
You can't have 'em! You're playing ME!!!
Take your L like a WOMAN!!!
***cues up Jay-Z's "Run This Town"***
oh come on! you know my players are hurt and/or suck!
Not true! If you had started one different player last week, you would've won your game!
Doesn't matter...you're in my sights now...muah hahahaha!!!
I know, that sucked...I lost by one player. Oh well...
So Brooke, what is YOUR type?
I think I described my type already. Scroll up :)
Oh, my bad.
Well, can you tell us what physical features you find attractive on a man, even if that's not what "hooks" you?
Hmmm...that can vary from man to man, but I find that a great smile is the one thing that draws me in.
Great skin, nice eyes...those things seem to be universal.
But every guy has "something" that is unique only to him that can draw me in, whether it's his laugh, a facial expression he always makes, his walk, his style as far as fashion, anything.
Basically if a man looks like he takes care of himself, or takes pride in his appearance, I can find anything about him attractive.
I'm late, but I'm here!
As for a type, I think I DO have one, yet I never wind up with the guys that I WANT to date!
I like tall guys, with great skin adn teeth too Brooke. I want a guy who has a great fashion sense and a sexy walk. I of course want him to have a great personality and intelligence and all that jazz, but I can't seem to find a guy whose personality and smarts match the physical features I desire!
Tell me ladies (if any are still around) - why is it we can't find a total package??? I guess I can ask the guys that too, but I swear! I can find the guy with the great personality and intelligence, but he's usually 5'2 and a chubster and dresses like a slob! Do I always have to sacrifice one for the other! Damn!!
@Stef,
I'm here. I was kind of lurking today. And I agree, I have types that I'm always attracted to, but never seem to actually date.
I chalked it up to me being too picky and realizing that no one is perfect and will have all the qualities I desire in a mate. And if they DO have all the qualities I want, he's usually already taken already - or may not want ME! LOL!!
I'm still here, and I totally hear you Stef and Jaz. I don't think I always date the type of guys I'm attracted to, I usually stumble onto men or they fall into my lap by accident - not looking anything like "my type."
That isn't to say they aren't attractive in some way, but just in ways I'd never suspect or look for. Goes to show that you have to keep your options open sometimes. That doesn't always translate into "settling" or "sacrificing" - but maybe opens you up to see beauty in places you never thought to look.
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