Monday, November 30, 2009

Happy Monday everyone!

I hope you all had a blessed and restful, long holiday weekend!

So, I get back to NY late last night like I always do coming back from Philly. I get myself all situated and in the bed, when suddenly I hear yelling. Then more yelling.

"You asshole!"

"I hate you too, get out!"

Then it hits me, it's my downstairs neighbors going at it again. These two guys have a big fight every few months. I hear furniture moving, glass being smashed against walls. I even called the cops one time because the one guy ran out of the apartment screaming, "Stop hitting me, don't hit me anymore!" He banged on a neighbor's door, she answered...but she wouldn't let him in, for fear that his boyfriend might come after her too. It was then that I called the police as he sat on the steps outside waiting for them to come.

I barely got any sleep last night because of their fighting. When I dragged myself in today, I mentioned to a friend on email that I was tired and the reason why. She wrote me back.

"Really, they fight like that in your building? I didn't think you lived in a neighborhood like that."

huh?

Is there a certain address where domestic abuse takes place?

What neighborhood does Chris Bro.....wait....scratch that.

What neighborhood does TIGER WOODS live in?

Now, before we get into it...we don't know what happened the night (early morning) Tiger Woods smashed his truck into a fire hydrant and a tree. ALLEGEDLY, he was involved in some type of domestic spat between him and his wife. Who the hell knows....

But it does make you wonder how the media would handle the situation if that IS indeed the case. I mean, they gave Chris Brown the bizness over beating up Rihanna...as they should have. There is excuse for his behavior, and you know I'm not gonna defend it.

But do you think the media will handle Tiger Woods and his wife the same way if we discover that she actually DID come after him with a 9 Iron that night and bust the windows out his ride?

Makes you wonder, right?

I mean...domestic abuse is wrong, no matter who does it. But will they vilify her, or will she be a woman scorned who simply lost it after finding out her man dipped out on her...allegedly?

Do we view domestic violence differently if it involves two men, as in the gay couple who lives below me?

Violence is violence, no matter who is doing the abusing - male, female, white, black, rich, poor, gay or straight. And it has no specific address - not an apartment building in Queens or a gated community in Florida. It exists everywhere and can touch EVERYONE.

It may be hard for some to define what love is, but I know what love isn't. Love doesn't raise a hand (or a golf club) to you. Love doesn't throw glass at your face. Love doesn't bite you or smash your face up against a car window.

Love shouldn't hurt...not like that.

-b

53 comments:

Yolanda said...

FIRST BITCHES!

I wanna see Tiger's face!

Brooke said...

Me too!

I'm not saying that she did it, who knows if she did. But for sh*ts and giggles, I wonder what would happen if we found out she chased his ass out the house.

Annamaria said...

Tasing Yolanda... lol

Funny how his name is Tiger yet he got his ass kicked... He cancelled hosting some big golf tournament this weekend cause he doesn't want anyone to see his face. The press isn't going to handle this the same way as Chris & RHI RHI...WHY??? First off she kicked his ass... 2ndly..hate to play the race card but she's white.. so she will always have a "justifiable" reason and he will end up being the asshole.

Pretty Ricky What Dey Call'em said...

Glad y'all are with me on this Tiger Thing... cuz something sounds suspicious then a mug. (Not sure if this blog was supposed to be about Tiger... but since y'all mentioned it...) The scratches and shyt were not from the car accident.... this heffa commenced to whoopin Tigers Crustacean a$$ (or whatever he calls his self.)Y'all sure he didn't marry a black women???

Hee Hee... that's about to be my facebook status update!

Brooke said...

I agree. If she DID kick his ass and bust up his ride, then they'll say she had a right to since he was supposedly cheating on her.

On the radio this morning, Diddy called in and the dj's asked him what he thought of the Tiger Woods situation. Diddy said he hadn't heard what happened, so when they told him, he was like "for reaaall?" Then he said, "oh that girl's gonna get a check!"

When they asked, "Why, he didn't do anything, SHE did!" Diddy was like "oh come on, we all KNOW how THAT'S gonna go down!"

It was funny, but so true! No matter who's fault it really is, it's gonna be Tiger's fault :)

Stef said...

Hey everyone! I missed you guys! I didn't know Brooke blogged over the holiday! I need those emails!

Anyhoo, I agree, she kicked his ass and he's trying to keep it quiet. But if he cheated on her, maybe he deserved his ass kicked?
(I'm playing devil's advocate)

Chris Brown beating up Rihanna is not the same as a wife finding out her man cheated on her and beating him up...is it?

DMoe said...

I figured we'd be chopping this topic up.

Until the facts come out, I can't make any assumptions.

What I did find interesting (and funny) was how the story of how the back window was smashed out to save an semi-conscious Tiger.

So...let me get this straight: Now the golf clubs have become the "jaws of life"????

Anyhoo - I am fairly certain there may be some embarrassing details that come to light as to what went on, but until we know the story, I just can't speculate.

As for the media's handling of this story, Chris Brown is no Tiger Woods. Just like the average hood dog fighters weren't Mike Vicks either. Dom violence is what it is, and should this end up being something of that nature, the story will grow to an even larger "ginormous" status.

As for previous cases, Like Chris' and how the media pursues it:

This is a bigger story based on Tiger's pre-existing image.

This is a bigger story based on Tiger's brand.

This is a bigger story based on Tiger's universal appeal.

Stay tuned. The investigation is underway, and soon, we're gonna know a whole lot more.

DMoe

Yolanda said...

A beating is a beating. As much as I find it funny that she straight got a golf club and went Rambo... it's still violence and you really shouldn't be putting your hands on folks, no matter how pissed you are. If he'd chased her with a golf club, we'd be ripping him a new one (like we did Breezy).

I agree though, the real story is his brand. He's the "articulate, fresh and clean" athlete worth bajillions!

Jay said...

B, great blog on Thanksgiving, I just read...I didn't know you blogged on Thanksgiving either. Where was my reminder email?? :)

Chris Brown is no Tiger Woods because Tiger Woods didn't beat up anyone...or so we think anyway.

The question is his WIFE like Chris Brown? She's the one whoopin ass like Pretty Ricky said! Allegedly.

All jokes aside, we don't know what happened, but I do wonder like B said what would happen and how they'd treat her if surveillance footage shows her chasing him outside with a golf club. You don't get scratches and bruises on your face from a fender bender like that...not from the pics I saw. He's protecting his wife. And that's his business.

And to answer Stef's question - no it doesn't make it alright to bust up his face if he did cheat on her. Leave him and take half his money. Does she think beating him up will make him stop? It won't. She's not going anywhere.

DMoe said...

I can see the SNL skits, and the Conan monologues if in fact the biggest golfer in the history of the world took an 8-iron to the face.

Seriously....the irony!
(pun intended)

No for real. I would never hit women or anything of the sort, but if you swung a golf club at me, it would be "Thriller night" up in the crib and I ain't backin my car out the driveway at slow speeds either sucka...

Dmoe aka Clubber Lang

Pretty Ricky What Dey Call'em said...

Someone wrote and interesting comment on my facebook page..something I'd never thought off. When I jokingly asked the question "Are Y'all sure Tiger married a black women? her repsonse was "yup, cause [if] he married a black woman he would of hit her ass back.. she white and he knew better.. Cause he be a niggah as soon as he retaliate against the white woman, regardless to what he call himself.." Hmmmmm

Stef said...

So, if you got caught cheating Dmoe, would you expect her to spazz out on you? :) LOL!

Not saying it's right, but come on now...y'all know!

(more devil's advocate)

Jay said...

@Pretty Ricky, good point!!

And I agree, if she was Tiana Woods instead of Elin Woods (or whatever her name is), she would have gotten a back hand. Tiger knows what's up, just like Diddy said this morning on the radio.

Yolanda said...

P-Ricky... I got a very similar comment from our blog post on Tiger:

"He had to bounce, because he knows what happens to a brotha (regardless of how many races and cultures he got running threw his veins, as long as one is black, He's Black) raises a hand to a white woman. Arrest, loss of endorsements, trial of the century, he's make the cover of Newsweek, FOX News and the Rush Limbaughs of the World will go on the ... See Moreattack, saying things like 'We knew it was a matter of time before the Black Panther in Tiger showed up,' and he'll end up, joining the ranks of Kobe, OJ and Kanye. He thought about all that and rolled the f*ck out before his pimp hand took over."

Brooke said...

And not for nothing, keep in mind that if she IS crazy, he has more reason to leave than anyone - look at Steve McNair. We can all make jokes, but at the end of the day, she shot his ass - dead.

Women who are mad, scorned, psycho - all are capable of doing something really wrong - and Tiger probably saw that in her eyes and bounced the hell up outta there!

Anonymous said...

They say Tiger was in need of a "Kobe Special" ... HaHa ...

Jay said...

Another good point B, she could kill him with a golf club. I would leave, but if I couldn't get out and she's swinging a golf club at ME, then she might need to get popped! You ain't killin me man!

-V- said...

^ Oops.

Yolanda said...

There's a Kobe Special knock-off on Amazon.com. As Rameer would say...TRUE STORY! It's a purple ring and the thing is called KOBE APOLOGY RING!

Who thinks of this stuff?

And furthermore, how pissed must Kobe be that once again, his name is attached to scandal? I feel for the brotha.
(even though I am a Kobe hater...)

DMoe said...

@Stef - errr...Spazz Out? LMAO.

Yes, I do expect the fullest extent of someone's wrath in a heated moment, but I do agree with the bounce.

No matter what color she was, he betta be-the-hell-up outta there, cuz "Eldrick" (thats what I'm callin him til this is over with) got EVERYTHING to lose.

You raise a hand to ANY chick being Tiger Woods, its game over.

One of this dude's endorsements is worth more than most golfers make in a year, let alone us common people with jobs. 50 of our salaries combined couldn't match his Amex deal, just to pick ONE.

If what we're hearing is true, and he "fled" cuz she was goin at him, he made the right move.

You simply can't win in that situation. There's only the extent to which you lose.

Take the "L", get in your Escalade, and haul azz.

Jerry DMoe-guire

Jaz said...

Brooke, you're wrong for putting that Jazmine Sullivan song on your page! LOL!

Tiger Woods can't hit ANY woman, no matter WHAT color she is cuz he'd lose everything. And if he DID cheat, that would make him that much more at fault. The fact that she's white just means he REALLY can't do it!

He just wants this whole thing to go away quietly, and I don't blame him. I'd take one of his deals - Nike, Gatorade, Amex, EA Sports in a hot second! He's not losing all that over some crazy chick, believe it!

Brooke said...

Oh, and sorry I didn't send out my regular blog email notifications last week, I was having internet issues from home...which seem to be worked out...for now :)

Yolanda said...

I read your Turkey day post Brookey... I got you in my RSS feeds!

I'm such a geek :-)

Brooke said...

Thanks Yolanda!!

I have all the blogs I follow in my RSS feeds too :)

Jay said...

Brooke, I just refreshed your blog and see you have J. Sullivan on there. You crazy :)

I also want to address what your friend said to you on email today about the neighborhood you live in. That was an ignorant thing to say. What does where you live have to do with domestic violence and how frequently it occurs. Like you said, Chris Brown and Tiger Woods live in affluent neighborhoods, and it can still reach you, no matter where you live or where you come from, no matter how much money you have.

Rameer said...

Nothing more that I can say that hasn't already been said. We all agree - Tiger can't do ish.

He's gonna try to keep quiet and let this whole thing blow over. He's got too much to lose!

DAMN THAT BLACK MAN'S KRYPTONITE (white women)!!! Lolz!

"Now I'm Jewish and he's Muslim, and because of that he tells me I need to give up certain things, like pork and white women... I can give up the pork, but the white women? God Damn, how the hell do you do THAT?"

- Jamie Foxx as Drew "Bundini" Brown in 2001's ALI

Anonymous said...

we all know that's HIS kryptonite! LOL!

Stef said...

And why is that? What is so special about white women?

Rameer said...

(Sigh) It's a joke. White women have been called Black man's kryptonite since before any of us were born.

If you don't know why, I'm sure DMoe or one of the experienced-in-worldy-matters guys can explain it. It's a joke with a lot of truth to it.

Rough day...no interest in getting too deep. I made my joke...see Uncle Ruckus for the break down of the virtues of the white woman...

Stef said...

Virtues of White women?

This I gotta hear.

Brooke said...

Funny thing about that, Rameer sent me a link to why some black men prefer white women as a possible blog topic. That wasn't what the entire article was about, but one part of it mentioned that white women might actually be more understanding/sympathetic to black men and their problems, etc. than black women.

We can discuss now or I can try to fashion a blog around this topic another day...let me know which you prefer :)

Stef said...

I gotta read this link, I hope you write a blog about it because I'd be curious to see your take on this Brooke :)

Rameer said...

I'd prefer if you blogged about that one, Brooke-Ra. That article was MAD interesting.

Brooke said...

Actually, I was wondering if a black man would write it for me. How can I know why a black man would prefer a white woman over a black one? I can speculate, or give my theories, but in the end, only a black man can answer that one for us.

Jay said...

Brooke, it's simple. It's one thing to be attracted to white women, and another to PREFER them.

I PREFER black women, but I'm attracted to all women. I just happened to be the MOST attracted to black women and I find them to be more interesting, more engaging and just overall more attractive to me. I can't speak for anyone else, but if a man tells you he ONLY dates white women - then that raises an eyebrow.

And quite frankly, black women worry too much about THAT man. If he PREFERS white women, let a white woman have him. He can't handle a strong sista anyway and you'd be better off without his punk ass. Just my opinion.

Rameer said...

Well, that's a tough prospect, Brooke-Ra. To have that blog written by a Black man, he'd have to be in a long-term relationship with a white woman or be married to one.

I don't *think* anyone currently on the blog currently fits that bill...

Stef said...

Finally! A brotha who gets it! Thanks Jay! I like you!

Brooke said...

Actually, I could have this blog written by men and have them give their stance on interracial dating and the differences between white and black women in general and then have the women respond. The man doesn't have to be in a long term relationship or marriage with a white women currently to give his take on that. I'd be curious to read what all of my male followers think on that topic so I can post them. Anyone up for that?

Jay said...

If you're asking for our opinions for a blog, I'm down for that B.

DMoe said...

Count me in.
DMoe

Rameer said...

you KNOW I'm up for it. Especially since I suggested the topic...

Stef said...

I'd love to read this blog by the men, because I don't get why white women are so coveted. Make this blog happen soon Brookey!

The Cable Guy said...

hey Brookey!

Good blog today, and everyone is right - Tiger knows he can't do anything, even if he wanted to. Too much to lose, and he ain't losing everything over no white woman. At least he has some sense, cuz OJ didn't :)

As for white women being the black man's kryptonite, that doesn't apply to me. I know Ram was making a joke, but I never fell for the okie doke. White women don't do anything for me, never have, probably never will. Nothing about them is more sexy to me than a black woman, NOTHING! So all these bruthas out here pining over them can have them. I'll take the rest of the sistas off their hands!

There's too many gorgeous black women around for us to even consider a white woman, all just waiting for us to wake up and STEP up. I guess my comment gave you and idea of my take on this, but if you still want a man's perspective, I'd be happy to go into this further Brookey :)

Rameer said...

Not for nothing...but you REALLY don't know why some Black men *prefer* white women??

The same reason Lil' Kim is doing everything she can to look like a Black Pamela Anderson. The same reason little Black kids prefer white dolls and characters in psychological studies.

The same reason people feel safe subconsciously around a room full of unknown white, as but not in a room full of unknown Blacks.

If you don't know, I would suggest you begin reading and listening to the words of pre-Mecca Malcolm X, or simply listen to Black Star's song "Thieves In The Night", which briefly refers to this:

"...I asked him why we follow the law of the bluest eye
He looked at me, he thought about it
Was like, "I'm clueless, why?"
The question was rhetorical, the answer is horrible
Our morals are out of place and got our lives full of sorrow
And so tomorrow comin' later than usual
Waitin' on someone to pity us
While we find the beauty in the hideous..."

It's a lot deeper than the set of lyrics...but it's a quick, subtle reference to a subject that takes one years to truly Do The Knowledge on.

I think all types of women are beautiful. But in terms of PREFERENCE...I *prefer* what I am. Black and Latino. That doesn't mean Lucy Liu or Jessica Biehl couldn't get some rhythm...lolz!

Rameer said...

Ugh...excuse the typos, as always.

Black men beign with white women - RICH, affluent powerful Black men, in particular - many times has nothing to do with them thinking white women look or are better than Black women.

It's *deeper* than that. I'll save it for the blog when Brooke-Ra drops it. Just hope you don't drop it tomorrow...next two days are KILLER for me...

Jay said...

Rameer is right, it's because the standard of beauty that is force fed to us on a daily basis doesn't include anyone who doesn't have some sort of European features - whether it's a thin nose, long straight hair, blue eyes or anything else that is typically associated with a Euro standard. Very rarely are the Alek Weks praised for their beauty, or the woman with a natural, or full lips (real ones, not Angelina's :-) or wide hips. Black women aren't considered beautiful unless they're half white like Halle or have done something to themselves where white people identify that with white standards of beauty.

And black women know this. So I can see why they'd be upset over a black man saying they prefer a white woman - because that's like saying that black women aren't beautiful. After hundreds of years of slavery and the "white is right" mentality and "paper bag tests" and the "light skinned" woman getting treated better, then years of this can't be undone overnight, and I feel a black woman's pain over this. The black man couldn't even look a white woman in the face without being lynched, but now we want her because we couldn't have her before? Fuck outta here.

Y'all can keep the white woman. I'm sure subconsciously I prefer black women, not just because they ARE beautiful and strong, but because society says they aren't. And the white women most black men lust over WISH they were black - trying to get a tan, collagen lips and fake asses. Fuck that. I'll take the real thing.

Stef said...

I love Jay! :)

The Cable Guy said...

@Jay

(in my best Frank Lucas impression)

"my man"

A white woman ain't got nothing for me.

And as for them being "easier to deal with", if THAT'S why you want a white woman, then get the fuck on with that. A black woman don't want your bitchass anyway.

Rameer said...

Okay. I'mma HAVE to play Devil's Advocate here (see who gets THAT pun)...

So, for all of you going on about the Black men who are "bitchasses" for being with white women...y'all telling me you don't know ANY Black men who are or were with white women? And that ALL of them are bitchasses?

Sit here and honestly tell me when you think of Jim Brown, James Earl Jones, Sidney Poitier, Michael Jordan, Quincy Jones and Richard Pryor, the first thing you think of is a weak, bitchass Black man.

I say that because I recently had this convo with a girl I know who took Tiger to task over marrying a white woman...and I explained to her that MOST Black celebs and affluent men hook up with white chicks. I don't co-sign it or say it's right, but it's REALITY. And, if I'm being all the way real (which I always am), I've known some brothas who were cool as hell and were good dudes but were with white women.

You know what I decided about that?

That it's their own business...regardless of my thoughts on the situation. I get more angry when they are exuding the wrong things in art, entertainment, education, laws, etc. But in their personal lives?

I can't be mad at Halle, Charles Barkley or Alfre Woodard for their personal choices - cuz I don't know them. I can offer my OPINION...but I know I do what I like to make me happy, and I'm sure these people have done the same thing, regardless if the reasoning is legit or post-slavery hangover and a subconscious love of all things Eurocentric.

I'm just saying. And yes, you can go back and see me spittin' the same thing as Jay and Cable in past blogs. Like I said - I'm playin' Devils Advocate.

Jay said...

I'm not talking about dudes who marry a white woman because he just happened to meet her and fall in love. I'm not talking about them. If they fall in love with a woman who makes them happy, regardless of color, then go on.

But I thought the question being raised was why white women were coveted, or why some men PREFER white women, as in they ONLY date white women because they think they're prettier or "better" than black women simply because they're white. THAT is what I was talking about, and to me, if you subscribe to that because you think "white" is better, than you're wrong - and wack.

The Cable Guy said...

Halle dates white and black, she's been with brothas for years. Clearly she won't JUST date a white man. Stef asked why white women were "coveted" I believe - meaning they're considered "better" than black women, and that's what I was talking about. Men who ONLY date white women because they think it makes them better to have a white woman on their arm. If they can't handle a sista, or think that white women make them who THEY are, then yes, they straight bitchasses.

The Cable Guy said...

and as Rameer would say, "no, NO ONE in my crew dates white women or has dated one." LOL!!

Real talk. They just don't do anything for us.

Rameer said...

Aight. I feel y'all on that - and agree. Just wanted to see what the response would be.

I actually think it's disgusting when ANY race prefers another race over their own. I think it's so obviously self-hate it's unbelievable - but remember. Most of the time, it's subconscious and not even realized. As are many things in our community...use of the N word, Eurocentric looks, dedication to certain religions and beliefs, loyalty to political parties, love of certain "entertainment", misplaced educational, family and socio-economic values, etc.

I've touched on the periphery of some really deep stuff that I don't have the time to go into. Good night all...check y'all tomorrow.

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