Friday, June 5, 2009


I didn't know what to write about, so I asked around.

"How bout this...I like to read about ways to keep myself together, new trends and things that improve my overall appearance.....CONVERSELY - I HATE the term metrosexual. Sadly, the connotation is derived from people's inherent need to "categorize" methods outside of the cultural "norms." And its awful because women actually want a man to appear "appealing," but upon discovery of the research and things involved, the dude has to be "coined" something. A woman who takes care of her hair and teeth is a woman who takes care of her hair and teeth. A man? Gotta have some name."

hmmm...I think that was the blog right there :) Thanks D!

Ladies, let me ask you - Do you look at a man and size him up as gay, metro, straight or whatever...based on his looks? Or do you simply look at him as a man who has or doesn't have his sh*t together?

Personally, I look at a well-groomed man as simply that - a well groomed man. I think where the label comes from is more of a marketing buzzword than anything else. Give people an identity to strive for, an attractive pigeonhole to be squeeze into, and, like sheep, some will buy anything associated with it. It's like they created a "new" kind of man by telling the unmoisturized, unkempt man to kick rocks cuz he doesn't spend enough money on keeping his sh*t together.

Let's define metrosexual first, shall we?

A metrosexual is:

a modern, usually single, man in touch with himself and his feminine side; grooms and buffs his head and body, which he drapes in fashionable clothing both at work or before hitting an evening hotspot; has discretionary income to stay up to date with the latest hairstyles, the newest threads, and the right shaped shoes; confuses some guys when it comes to his sexuality; makes these same guys jealous of his success with the ladies -- for many metros, to interact with women is to flirt; impresses the women who enjoy his company with the details that make the man;

Among them:

his appreciation for literature, cinema, or other arts his flair for cooking his savoir faire in choosing the perfect wine and music his eye for interior design is a city boy or, if living a commute away from downtown, is still urbane, if not rightly urban; enjoys reading men's magazines...

That's not my definition - I looked it up :) Basically a metrosexual is a man who carries a "murse" - or "man" bag :)

Now..."Retrosexual" men are the opposite of that. They're your traditionally masculine man who rejects focus on physical appearance. You'll never catch this dude plucking his eyebrows.

So my question to the ladies is - which do you prefer? And to the men - do you consider yourself either, if anything?

I think it depends on what you envision when you hear the term metrosexual. Personally, the first thought that comes to mind when I hear "metrosexual" is a man who OBSESSES over his looks. Traditionally, women are the ones who worry about their appearance to an obsessive extent. The beauty industry is a billion dollar monster - and make-up, hair care products, fashion, plastic surgery, diet crazes, you name it - are all associated with women.

So when you meet that guy who spends more time in the mirror than you do, it kinda throws you off. It's like he's more interested in looking at himself than at you. Men being visual creatures, we're used to being ogled and stared at. So when this guy walks out of the store with more bags than you do, it seems as if he's "un-coupled" with you, and he has taken himself as his own love object. He wants YOU to stare at HIM.

Now, a metro guy might confuse the Neanderthal, brute man as well. He may not necessarily think he's gay...but because he seems chic, sensitive or "cultured," he has to label what he doesn't understand.

Men and women may find metro men to be sexually ambiguous, because "regular" dudes are wrinkled and ashy; they burp, scratch, fight, yell and grope. So when we meet the suave guy who doesn't do all those things and actually cares about how he presents himself, we might not be so sure because it's not "normal."

Granted, advertisers make it plain that metrosexuals are undoubtedly straight - but when men hear themselves being labeled as metro, they might get ready to punch you in the face. To put it in SATC terms, he thinks he's being called more of a "straight gay man" than a "gay straight man" - if that makes any sense.

Sexuality has nothing to do with it.

Personally, I love a man who cares about his appearance. I think a man who cares if a woman finds him attractive is sexy as hell. Ladies, he's doing it for you.

Men don't drive flashy cars, buy cool threads and rock funky shoes for themselves. They may appreciate these things - but they do it for US - to get our attention. Otherwise, they'd be walking around hairy and smelly. We do the same thing. We'd be some fat, hairy bitches if it wasn't for men.

So we shouldn't label them for doing the exact same thing we do. Some of the most masculine men can be "metro" - and wear it well. Will Smith, David Beckham, Brad Pitt - all could be male models by metro guidelines - but all still very much "man" - in my opinion anyway.

I know a few "Renaissance Men" who can put it down in the bedroom, toss your ass around and then go out and play football. I know a few "sensitive men" who bench heavy weights at the gym walking around with muscles and a six pack. I know some straight, beer drinking frat brothers who shop at Abercrombie & Fitch or Banana Republic. And they're all sexy as hell...con mucho machismo.

That being said...metro me this? If we MUST give him a label...doesn't this label sound more attractive? I'm jus sayin ;)



Serena W. said...

YEAH I'M FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

annamaria said...


Brooke said...

LOL!! battle!

Brooke said...

It's a TIE!

annamaria said...

Hahahah we tied! Lol
Anywho I like a man who cares about his appearance but if it takes him longer to get ready than I do we have a problem

Anonymous said...

Sarah says:

Metro guys scare me. I prefer to be the prettier one! Not that my guy isn't gorgeous, he is. BUT, he is a little rough around the edges, has to be reminded to shave sometimes, and wears jeans, plan shirts, and black or brown boots.

SO like I said, I get to be the fashionable one and I like that.

Anonymous said...


This is the "locksmith." What category would you put me in?


I'm still stressed the "eff" out over that situation we discussed yesterday.

Rameer said...

Let me be the one who draws the ire of everyone and has people conflicting my stance...

MY definition of a "metrosexual" is a dude who is gay and either hasn't come out yet or hasn't come to grips with it yet. Why do I say that?

When I grew up, dudes who overgroomed were simply called pretty boys. Most cats I'm around still call 'em that. It's not for me, but I got no problem with it intrinsically. But the dues I've met that identify themselves as metrosexual have a little something...EXTRA. These dudes do things and act ways that definitely SHOULD make the average man raise an eyebrow.

I know a dude who used to go to the spa with a group of women regularly. The whole chi-bang - manicures, pedicures, waxing, plucking. I used to tell these girls, based on the way he carried himself, talked, the activities he participated in, etc. that he was probably gay or was soon to come out the closet. Of course, I was criticized and argued with - this was their close friend, and I MUST be insecure in my own sexuality to say that. Nevermind that I didn't have a problem with him if he WAS gay - but I just knew what I knew.

Shock of all shocks - months later, he's caught at a gay club in the bathroom pulling a Boy George. Of course, the women were shocked. Not me. "But I used to DATE him". Oh well. "He ALWAYS knew a lot of girls, and he was always flirting when we were with him". I bet he was. "How could you possibly know?"

He had a MANPURSE, 4 God's sake! (Funny enough, I'm catching hell for a picture I took wearing my digital camera in it's case - my co-workers are hitting me with manpurse jokes...lolz!)

I don't know too many men, pretty boys or not, who would call themselves that. The ones I DO know...all play for both teams or eventually were found out to be a bit light in the timberlands.

I agree, Brooke - those are corporate-created labels that have caught on. But the feminization of the American man make them easy to stick.

How 'bout that KOBE BRYANT, people? Lolz!

Pretty Ricky What Dey Call'em said...

Don't really have a comment on this one... but loves the way Brooke phrased that question "Metro me this?" She's so clever!!! LOL

Pretty Ricky What Dey Call'em said...

And just to be clear. Serena and Annamaria... no you did not tie. Serena was clearly the first winner. HOWEVER...since she did not say bitches... you can appeal!

Serena W. said...

Rameer not the man purse! LOL! Annamarie we are tied, see we are in tune with each other (except for when you are trying to shank the universe).

Once dated a guy that took longer to get ready. Huge problem! He had more mirror time then me! Almost made me second guess what I had on lol.

I do want my man to be well groomed, have a nice appearance, etc. But it scares me when you hear about them getting waxed and the whole nine yards! Scary!

Serena W. said...

Pretty Ricky I don't say bi****s lol!

Plus I don't want to get shanked! LMAO!!!!

The Fury said...

Metro = waxed or plucked anything = gay or on the expressway to gay = Shemar Moore

Pretty Boy = takes too much time trying to coordinate the colors in his outfit and his line up looks to be done daily = David Beckham

Retro = women like him so it doesn't really matter what he wears they always thinks it's cute no matter if he has a rep of showering once every three days = Brad Pitt

Annamaria said...

See I love me some Shemar Moore & David Beckham but I do not find anything attractive about Brad Pitt at all. I like a pretty well kept man but if your eyebrows look better than mine or you spend more time in the mirror than I do we have a problem. I need a man to be a man & be a little rough around the edges. Austin & I are always cracking up cause I'm always telling him to use a loofah to bathe. He's stuck on his washcloths..LOL He's like sorry I have to be a man & can not bring myself to use that puffy shit! lol. I must say I might be a little freaked out if I came home one day & found him bathing with a pink loofah. lol

Andre said...

Manpurse is as close to gay as you can get and still try to front like you're meterosexual.

It takes me a LONG time to wash and twist my hair. Depending on who you ask that may be metro of me but damn if I want stinky, unkempt locs. You'd never see me in the vast majority of Kanye's outfits, I just wouldn't be comfortable.

I care about my appearance (I even read GQ),but damn if I'm taking fashion cues from the tight and fit crew. Oh no!!

LOL @ Shemar Moore. Though he did bag Halle once...

DMoe said...

Now this is a "conundrum"...

I feel used. Bamboozled, hoodwinked, run amuck, led astray...I didnt land on this blog, this blog landed on me. Somehow, I got drawn into a conversation, only to find that topic as "today's topic"...Hmmm.

Well, let me first say -

This is a personal moniker for me. I was raised by a mom and her only sister who told me things like...

"Boy, dont no woman want no man with dirty nails..."

"Boy, dont no woman want no man with crusty lips..."

"Boy, dont no woman want no man with bad breath...Keep yourself up."

I was also raised by a stepdad who cut grass in suit pants, scrubbed floors with dress shoes on, and had the sweetest yams ever.

I was cultured by a grandfather who could build pretty much anything he could draw a picture of, and then be the life of my grandmother's parties with his easy-going style and smart-azz funniness.

And then there's my dad - The quintessential musician who knew how to have a good time, but was a hustler by nature, and refused to be outworked.

Those influences yielded these personal ideals:

1. Keep carmex, gum and your nails clean as often as "manly" possible.
2. Do what's necessary and never be too clean to address a concern immediately.
3. Treat people like you actually care for their well-being and enjoyment when they are in your midst.
4. Hard work mixed with an analytical, logical, problem-solving brain knows no limit.
5. Enjoy yourself, and never be too cool to smile and be likeable.

Here's another overt, HUGE theme:
Nobody wants nobody nobody wants...

Say that a few times to yourself...It takes a minute to sink in.

I have to project the full magnificence, cuz that's my standard. I enjoy working with my hands, but I read enough periodicals to understand whats necessary to keep myself "up" to a certain extent also.

That's what makes me - well, ME.
No, I dont obsess about my appearance, but I like to have my ish together, and appear that way as an extension.

Metrosexual? Hell No.

And I ain't Prince Charming either, but what I am is a dude who knows certain things - and always eager to evolve, learn more, and be even better.

But what I will do (for example) head to the cologne counter in Macy's and ask the ladies in there (or some other significant chick) this simple question:

"Which one do you like?"

Because as Brooke said, that is exactly what all this is about:
What women think. Everything we do, we do it for the opposite sex, and as the lil boy that was raised by women who hard-wired me to do so, I use that constructively for the benefit of all involved. Me and her.

On another note, the look in Kobe's eye said it all last night...Pure, unadulterated determination and will.

Moreover, if any of you ever need such a "swagger transplant", try Lil Wayne's "I'm Me". Its a verbal essay on "Killer instinct" spelled out in 4 minutes of rap that fueled the Michael Phelps' show in Beijing last summer.

I love that song based on the ideal it conveys, and that the manufacturing of one's personal magnificence is an art form.

These days, i'm an understudy in this art, but stay tuned...

DMoe aka The Notorious S.L.I.M

Brooke said...

DMoe!!! Are you telling stories!?

I didn't hoodwink you into this conversation, I asked you what I should write about!!

metros...see how they are? ;)

Okay, so I'm back and read all your comments. I seem to see a common thread here - women don't like men who take care of themselves better than they do :)

Now, y'all know me. I don't wear makeup much. Could give a damn about hair (just throw on a cap and keep it movin) and clothes, etc. are not my thing. I know some people who wear Gucci like I wear Gap...and that's cool. Does nothing for me personally. BUT, I can definitely appreciate a man who keeps himself together - because it's the OPPOSITE of me. As long as he doesn't look at me like I'm a slouch because I don't do as he does, I could care less.

Locksmith - by the definition in the blog , you are DEFINITELY metro. Any man who rolls his Polo socks JUST RIGHT so that the logo shows after he sits down and his pants are hiked up slightly, is metro :-) LOL!!

...(yes, I still remembered that - with your three piece suit ass!)

Shemar Moore is sexy suspect.

Dre, you have great locs, you take great care of them. Nothing worse than dusty dreds.

Brooke said...

I'm still trippin that Rameer said he had a "murse" :) LOL!

Anonymous said...

I had a "Murse" once. I got rid of it as soon as a gay dude tried to pick me up on the 6 train.

Murse = homo magnet!

No offense to the gay men out there.


Rameer said...


I didn't SAY I had a "murse". AT ALL. I said I was getting ribbed on about my digital camera case that I took a pic with around my neck.

SEE? THAT'S another reason you don't love me...pure, unadulterated LIBEL. The only thing that can fit in this minute little bag is my little camera...and I literally don't wear it that way. I stupidly put it on for that picture, and now I'm taking ribs at work about it...which is cool, cuz I'm a good sport - I dish it out to them, so I can take it from them.

But you, Ms. Brookes - thou hath crossed a line that cannot be jumpeth back over! Webcamming homies is one thing - but accusing or implying "mursing" or metrosexuality could get you cut by Shaekwonna 'n dem!



Fury - you are DEAD ON with the Shemar/Beckham/Brad Pitt examples! LMAO!!! Had me laughing at my desk!

DMoe - I'm not a Lil' Whoopi fan, but I'mma check that song just cuz you recommended it. I love people with TRUE self-confidence, rather than this theme in society of "everyone wins" or "be humble". I personally think all that crap was started to make the losers and inferior heads feel better about hard and be the best! And if you ain't the best - at least be ONE of them!

I'm out - going to edit some Juneteenth spots...

Brooke said...

Hold up.

Rameer - Serena said you have a man purse and you say NOTHING to her. I make a jokey-joke and I'm gettin cut?

Pure F*ckery!


I can see why dudes would try to pick you up tho Locksmith - cuz you pretty, oh so pretty! LOL!!

I don't thikn I know a man who grooms himself the way you do. You pay attention to every detail - yet seem to maintain your "hood'ness" :) Metro Thug! LOL!

I think DMoe needs to have his own designated blog day...Craig is slippin :)

Serena W. said...

NO I DIDN'T SAY HE HAS A MAN PURSE! LOL! I was commenting on what he said about a dude with a man purse. LMAO!!!!!

Don't get me shanked Brooke!

Rameer said...

NOPE! Serena said "not the man purse!" She didn't say I HAD a man purse...her comment seemed like she was responding to me using the term I was ribbed on about - not saying I HAD one!

You flat out said that I said I had a "murse".


***gets on the phone, asks for Pookie Jenkins to let him speak to Pookie's sister, cues up Brooke Valentine's "Girlfight"***

Rameer said...

Oh, don't worry, Serena. I know how you go - we got history. But Ms. Brookes...she violatin'!


***cues up M.O.P.'s "Ante Up***

Anthony Otero said...

This labeling shit has got to stop. I care about my appearence too. I make sure I look good and if anyone thinks I am gay...then so be it. I am comfortable in my own skin and with my sexuality.

This a prime example why I dont chill with guys. They have issue with masculinity. Many think thug life is the way to go and rep it mad hard, meanwhile half of then are on the DL sucking eachother off.

So I dont buy into the lables because at the end of the day you need to do you.

Anonymous said...

lol ... not a "Metro-Thug."

That's too close to "Homo Thug."

Brooke said...

Y'all are cracking me up today...

....except Rameer, who is not trying to hurt me.

Where did the love go?

Ant, you always look great!

but you crack me up with this "sucking each other off" comment...I'm still laughing at that from the Kobe blog! LOL!

Brooke said...

I meant to write "except Rameer, who IS trying to hurt me."

But I aint' skerred of Pookie annem cousin...bring it!

Rameer said...


Ant - I don't think anyone is saying if you look good you're gay 'cept you in your assessment. I KNOW I wrote that we call those guys pretty boys where I'm from, and we don't have a problem with pretty boys. My own brother is one.

You don't hang with guys? Fine by me - I don't tend to either, unless it's my crew, who all live out of town. So I feel you on that. And I feel you being comfortable in your own sexuality - cuz I'm comfortable in mine. But I always have and always will call it like I see it...whether the opinion be popular or not.

Brooke - ain't nobody tryin' to hurt you! YOU the one posting LIBEL!!! And since I can't get no girls without first being aggressed upon, I gotta call up them peoples...

***goes up the block to get Ray Ray and Junebug's bad a$$ female cousins, cues up Onyx's "Slam"***

Brooke said...

Violence...just wrong. I make a joke and he's tryna get me beat up. But don't sleep on me...that's all I'm sayin :)

Anthony Otero said...

well me not hanging with my boys could also be the fact they violated the man rules that i wrote

Rameer said...


***cracks knuckles***

You want I should come up and have a "talkin'" wit dem, Ant??

We can't violate crew rules in my crew - that's cause for an immediate a$$-whooping, with no explanation, and you have to take it! No revenge after-the-fact!

Keefe said...


I share your sentiments. If you are comfortable in your skin ..... do you!

I'm all about taking care of myself. I workout, get my martial arts on, fix my own cars, etc .... I do all of the things that a man is expected to do. However, I'll also go to a spa and pamper myself. Yes I've had a facial. Yes I've had a manicure. Yes I've had a pedicure. I'm no where near gay! All of women from my past relationships loved the fact that I took care of me.

Serena W. said...

We cool peeps Rameer! :)

Ant someone violated the man rules...not cool my brother!

Brooke...Rameer still loves you and will cook for you too (just remember to save a plate for me).

Anthony Otero said...

LMAO!!!! You i am literally dying!!!!

Yeah, it has happend. I wrote that blog the day it happened.

It doesnt matter. I am not like many of my friends. They dont go clothes shopping. They rather wear the same pair of jeans until it becomes shorts.

I cant even imagine rolling up in Banana Republic with any of my boys. I can roll in there with some women though. :)

The Fury said...

Wow I leave for an hour and there's all kinds of violence against women, men and gays popping off. Brookey's cafe is obviously a very volatile place. I think you may need to start frisking at the door.

I'll take the women...LOL

I'd rather wash with the bare bar of soap than use a pink loofah. LOL

Brooke said...

ya know Fury? Where did all this come from? I'm all about peace and love, and Rameer come up in here startin' sh*t. I thought the only violent person up in here was Annamaria...with her tasing ass!

And I'm not so sure I wanna eat anything Rameer cooks for me - might be laced with rat poison since he's tryna take me out!

Keefe - you fix your own cars?

Yeah, Keefe you're another one who likes to shop - Mr. Kenneth Cole :)

Keefe said...

Fury is funny!!!! lol

Craig, where are you with your comments?

Keefe said...

I do simple shit. The routine maintenance.

Brooke said...

Changing oil and tires huh? :)

Craig is probably somewhere laid out with the munchies :)

Rameer said...

Naw, Brooke. I don't PLAY with food. But rifles...that's another topic...

And I love how you flip it that I started stuff when you threw the first dart. Then you tried to push blame off on Serena like she said something foul...when it was you who was immersed in the Foulness! And everyone who knows me knows - I'm a reactive personality. you do "A", I ALWAYS do "B", "C" AND "D"...

I'm FEELING Fury's comments today! Lolz!

Anyways, back to business...

***hands Ray Ray & Junebug's bad-a$$ female cousins the jar of Vaseline for their faces, cues up The Rza's "Domestic Violence"***

Brooke said...

Damn, it was a JOKE!!!

RIFLES??? What the hell Rameer?!

And how come nobody on here has my back?? trifling....

..well, Serena does.

Rameer went from not loving me anymore to straight up trying to get me hurt. Totally f*ckeduppedness.

Anonymous said...

Yall know when the bad a$$ females cousins break out the Vaseline somebody's breast is poppin' out!

I want front row seats!!!!!


Brooke said...

There will be none of that.

Rameer said...


Serena W. said...

WHAT! Lemme find out the jar of vaseline has been broken out!

Brooke said...

Why all the violence. Makes no sense.

The Cable Guy said...

I think I'm more Retro. I go weeks looking "scruffy" as Brooke calls it...and then I'll be clean shaven for the next few weeks. I take care of myself as far as hygiene goes, I'll clip my nails, clothes are ironed, etc. But I'm not that dude that goes shopping every week. I thik I'm the guy Annamaria described - more rough around the edges. Jeans, tims, that's about it.

But Brooke said she likes "scruffy" so I'm good :)

And I got your back babe, ain't nobody gonna get you ;)

Rameer said...

***cues up E-40's "Captain Save-A-Hoe"***

And NO, I'm not calling anyone a hoe. The song is about dudes savin' women, not the women themselves...and I didn't name it!


Brooke said...

okay, that's it...officially not cool anymore.

Thanks Cable Guy for having my back :)

The Cable Guy said...

Ain't no thang B, for you, ANYthing. You don't need saving, I know you can handle your own.

Rameer said...

But Brooke...

***quoting Brooke***

"Damn, it was a JOKE!!!"


momo925 said...

I say bump the titles! A fine man is a fine man...the more he takes care of himself the better. As long as he is not conceited or gay I can take it lol.

And yes I am continuing just for Rameer and cable guy... Kobe can be the best player in the world...doesnt change the fact that he has B*TCHASSNESS running all up in through here! LMAO

Rameer said...

Which has nothing to do with nothing since none of us know him. All REAL FANS care about is the game itself.

But you're pre-disposed to hate. Don't worry, my child...Kobe Bryant dropped 40 points for your sins.


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