Friday, April 17, 2009

Happy Wonderful, WARM Friday! I think Spring is trying to spring its way here, if only for a couple days. I hope you all get out and get a chance to enjoy the beautiful weather we're having today in NYC!

Now, it should be no surprise that I watch Oprah almost everyday. Yesterday's show was about 14 year olds who think they're ready to have sex. I think I had just STARTED liking boys at that age, so I was no where NEAR ready to have sex. Kissing a boy at that age was major for me. My how times have least from my perspective anyway.

Dr. Laura Berman was Oprah's guest sex expert, and she's been on her show a few times. One guest appearance in particular, she stirred up some controversy by saying that mothers should teach their daughters about masturbation at an early age - like between 12-14. This promo gives you a bit of a glimpse:

Mothers called into the Oprah show all in a tizzy saying that teaching teenage girls about masturbation crossed the line. While most boys around that age spend hours in the bathroom handling their business, girls are expected to keep their legs closed with all of this pent up frustration ravaging through their sex-crazed-hormone-raging bodies. Yes, we girls had that rage too...don't sleep.

So why then is it such a big deal to inform young girls about their bodies and allow them to explore it? Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with that suggestion. The fact that men and women were all in a huff about it shows how taboo this subject is for women. We wouldn't blink if we heard that a teenage boy masturbated 3-5 times a day, but it's assumed that this is something teenage girls shouldn't do. Trust me, I'd rather my daughter learned to masturbate than give some horny teenage boy a blow job or sexing him in the backseat of a car. It's happening.

The reason it should be learned, or at least known about, prior to puberty is so teens have a constructive means of addressing their developing sex drive. It also increases their awareness of their ever-changing body, and provides some sense of control over it. If a teenage girl knows how to masturbate, she's less likely to be compelled to seek out a sexual partner before she is emotionally and physically ready. While girls start menstruating between the ages of 10 and 14, their body is not truly prepared for pregnancy, childbirth and nursing until late in their teens. Masturbation provides young women with an option other than sexual frustration or sex with a partner when they're not ready or can't handle the consequences of a sexual encounter gone wrong.

Now, I'm not saying a mom should teach her daughter HOW to masturbate - no porn, or a demonstration or anything like that :-) But young girls shouldn't feel ashamed of their sexual needs. The fact that a teenage girl could satisfy her own needs and listen to her body is empowering...and should be celebrated, not questioned. But tell me what you think...should young girls be taught about masturbation at an early age? How old were YOU when you had "the talk?"

Hit me! and have a great weekend! Let the sun shine on your face!



Rameer said...


Brooke said...

LMAO!! I'm still mad at you from last night on Facebook!

Craig n 'em said...


Pretty Ricky What Dey Call'em said...

y'all monkeys don't even read the blog first!! LOL

Anyway, I honestly have to say, I have no clue of what's right in this case. I can also admit, things are going to be so crazy in my house if I have a daughter. She'll probably get anything and everything she wants... but that's because I'm not letting her fast ass out the house. So, I am going to plead the fizzif on this topic and let you women educate me or what I should do!

Rameer said...

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Pretty Ricky What Dey Call'em said...

Rameer - Have you forgotten FREAK OUT... by Le Chic?

Craig n 'em said...

Under No circumstances will I let my daughter watch BET or TVONE for that matter, without strict supervision.

My daughter came home from school crying on Halloween because she dressed like the sister from Phineas and Ferb and all her girlfriends at school went dressed like ROCSI from 106 and Park. Times have changed...

Craig n 'em said...

I don't see a number or website, Rameer...WTF!!!

Brooke said...

I'm gonna fight you Rameer, that's all there is to it! Damn you!

Pretty Ricky, to address your PREVIOUS comment (stop cosigning with Rameer!) - this is a tricky subject, because I think most parents dread having this conversation with their kids.

I remember my mom leaving Women's Health and Anatomy books around the house. I felt like they were EVERYWHERE. I'd read them when she wasn't home for a while, or take them in my room and read them so she wouldn't see me reading the sections about menstruation or conception. But once I reached a certain age, I would just bring the book to her and ask her about what I was reading and she'd gladly tell I guess that's when we had our "talk."

Growing up in a house of women, I guess it was easier to talk about that stuff. At 16, my mother had to take custody of my newborn cousin because my aunt had a stroke at childbirth and was in the hospital for months afterwards. We had to take turns getting up with her at night, feeding her, changing her, etc. I remember not wanting to do it one night cuz I had a game the next day, and my mom said "you're right, this isn't your responsibility. But just remember, if you have sex and get pregnant, it WILL be your responsibility. No more sports, no proms, no friends, no fun. I think that was all the birth control I needed...a boy couldn't even get next to me after that :-)

Craig, you shut up!

Rameer said...

Oops! Sorry...

Phone number: 1-800 BROOKES

Brooke said...




Rameer said...

Rick...I DID forget about "Freak Out"...

Ms. love me! Just not enough to inform me of your weekly "shows".



Brooke said...

Uh, HELLO! I'm trying to have a REAL discussion here! That was from Facebook last night, we're OVER IT NOW! Why you bringin up old sh*t?

Wait til you have a daughter Rameer!

Pretty Ricky What Dey Call'em said...

Brooke... I think that is the best birth control of all... for real. Let a baby wake you up out of your good sleep, with the drool coming out yo mouth and let that happen for a week straight. So that along with the talk I think would be great. I know the whole pregnancy thing scared the bejesus out of me... that's why I waited so late to get in the game. (None of your dam business when was the first time I did the uckey muk muk.) My mom would always say...don't come home with know babies. For some reason that stuck with me!

Yolanda said...

LMAO @ "releasing some of her greatest webcam streams!"


Pretty funny, Rameer!

Craig n 'em said...

Rameer, don't try to play those games with me man..I'm hip to all the tricks...Is it 4 UNSEEN Hours???
I hate when I watch a segment and I remember it from 2 dvds ago...

Brooke said...

et tu Yolanda? :-(

Okay, that's it...I'm leaving :(

Thank you for your REAL comment Pretty Ricky!

Brooke said...

and forget you Craig!

Rameer said...

Ah ah - you've got to pay to find our, Craig! But luckily, you'll be given an automatic subscription to get future volumes of Ms. Brookes gettin' it in!

Future volumes include the Lil' Jon "Crunk" Edition, Snoop Dogg "Doggystyle" Edition and T-Pain "Chopped & Screwed" Platinum Edition...

Rameer said...

Hey! Yolanda's on here! Hi, Yolanda!

Yolanda said...

Sorry...I watched that whole exchange on FB last night and nearly fell off the bed.

On to Oprah though...did you see how that audience essentially cockblocked that little boy? His face was tiiiiiight after the little girl said she was rethinking having sex. Kids today...I tell ya!

I'm glad I waited.

Hey Rameer!

Ms. Princess said...

Dear Brooke-lyn,
Rameer is hysterical! That's so something Prannie would do in an email. Luved it! And they were cutting you down on the status last night.
I'm still waiting to have "The Talk" with Big Shirley (my mom). When I fist started menstruation before I hit the double digit age, my mom freaked out. I was scared and showed her "evidence" and she didn't believe that was it. She just kept turning her head and screaming "NO!"
Coming to the realization that your child(ren) is/are growing up is devastating. To see them develop and notice their interest in the opposite sex perk up is not easy. Some parents don't want to deal with it (a la Big Shirley).
I don't know how I would bring the conversation of menstruation about with my daughter, let alone masturbation. That's a bit much. But who are the children going to learn from if not you, the parent?
I was just so afraid of my mother, I knew not to get involved with boys, lol. She didn't even want me to have phone calls until I was in my mid-teens. That was weird cause my cousin, who was 6 wks younger than I, had boys calling since we were in Pre-K!
I always wanted a daughter, but the way things are going and how different the times are since I was a little girl, I might change my mind.
And that's all I have to say about that!

Rameer said...

"The Talk" for me and my sister of me telling her "You get pregnant, it won't be Mommy or Dad who takes care of you...

"It will be ME. And I'll KILL YOU."

My sister has never had a pregnancy scare.

My mother spoke to her. I'm the muscle.

Serena W. said...

Hey everyone when I read Brooke's blog it hit me like a ton of bricks.

In 2006 my goddaughter (I will not disclose her name) had my godson Angel. She was only 13 going on 14.

She is an advocate for falling for the "okie doke" we did everything right, had the talk, talked to her, heck her mother had her at 17 and was living proof that your life will be flipped upside down if not careful.

My godson will be 3 this year and she'll be 17 in December. So to answer the question maybe if she was taught self pleasure she would have told ole boy to kick rocks.

But some of these young men got serious game! Serious! So now she doesn't live the normal teenage life. But she has learned a serious lesson! Now she is on her way to college next year, applying to every private university in NYC.

I told her I had hopes and dreams for her. I wanted her to go to Cuse, we had a trip planned out and then boom. She had my godson.

I had the talk when I was like 12...didn't get my period till I was 14 but I was so into b-ball, hip hop, track that I was selfish. I told cats aint no way I'm jeaopardizing my future for you boo.

But we are living in different times. These kids will get where ever, whenever and sometimes with whoever...

My goddaughter was afraid to see me, but I talk trash but I was speechless, I felt so disappointed and I told the adults in the fam...somewhere we lost her. Sigh.

That's my two cents for the day. Sex ed is important in every which way.

Brooke said...

Yes, that show yesterday was good, because that women asked every question and broke down every argument for having sex that young. That girl was like "uh...I'm slowly getting talked out of it." Ole boy was still like "I'm ready!" What did we expect him to say? All he had was sex on the brain, even after all that talk about disease and pregnancy, etc. He was simple. I hope that girl really thinks about everything that woman said.

What was funnier was the girl's face/reaction when Dr. Berman asked him how long he thought a LONG TIME was being with someone. His answer was 6 months - meanwhile this 14 yr old girl thought she was going to be with him forever. Her face was cracked. Good thing she figured that out quick.

But honestly, these are questions we should be asking EVERY potential sex partner before sex AT ANY AGE. If you want something more than sex, you have to ask the tough questions upfront, not after the fact when y'all are all butt naked looking at each other crazy. It was enlightening show in my opinion.

Prannie, I never wanted a daughter, too much trouble.

Serena, I can relate to your story. That's how we felt about my cousins Renee and Toya. Toya watched her older sister have her first baby at 17, and vowed that would never happen to her - only to have her first baby at 18. We were so disappointed. Of course once the babies are here, you love them regardless. But I feel so sad for them that neither of them went to college, got out to experience a little bit of the world, nothing. I was responsibility at such a young age. Hell, sometimes I feel like I'M not even ready yet to have kids. You live and learn.

Serena W. said...

You do live and learn. We were blessed that my goddaughters school had a day care center in her school. They said because of the amount of teens having children that in order for them to stay in school they offered that service. A person has to keep up good grades and low absentee.

When she graduates from high school my godson will be turning 4! He'll be ready for headstart. Sadder part was that there were mothers younger than her that had two kids!

Just stay prayerful Brooke and whenever you get a chance to talk to your cousins do it. It's never too late.

momo925 said...

LMAO hilarious Rameer! I am writing to set the record straight. Brooke does NOT have a webcam on her computer. I REPEAT: Brooke does not have a webcam on her computer lol. Now I have visited her cube and seen her chatting with someone while watching them on the screen, but they can not see her lol. She is innocent...however the jokes are HIGH-larious and made my day!

As for the blog...this is a serious topic. I have NO idea what to say. All I know is that I am glad I don't have children!lol My mom has been telling me since I could understand english "boys only want one thing" and "keep you legs closed, your panties on, and your head in those books", but I don't recall a time where we ever discussed masturbation. Would that help these children out here today who are bombarded with videos of half naked women spreading their legs every 5 seconds?? I don't know. The initial conversation about sex, std's, and pregnancy needs to happen first. Maybe it wouldn't hurt if masturbation was added on to that list.

Brooke said...


I can't help it if people want me to watch them while they just sit there! It's all innocent I tell ya!

As for throwing masturbation into the sex talk conversation, I have no idea who that would even go down, but I'd be open to discuss whatever my child wants to discuss with me. I had a pretty open relationship with my mom, and even told her the first time I had sex. It wasn't RIGHT after, but within a month or so I believe. She was happy that I waited til I was in college and was comfortable enough to tell her.

(meanwhile, even tho I have 2 nephews, I refuse to believe that my younger sister has ever had sex) LOL!

...seriously, I would want to give them all the information they need to make a sound decision. Now if they're 10 or 12 years old, they're not mature enough to know what they want...not even at 16. But if you arm them with information in a non-threatening, judgmental way and let them know that you are there for them and that you would prefer that they wait, I think they have a good chance of making the best decisions.

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