Wednesday, April 15, 2009
I never understood Ray J’s appeal. Never. Still don’t. But damn if my cousin and I weren’t having a conversation about “smashing the homies” Monday night at dinner.
Yes, I saw this episode. I know it'll pain you Serena, I know this. But please... just watch this one act for me....PLEASE!
Now, Ray J is straight bamma to me. Country corny. And I vowed I’d never watch his show because, like the rest of most "celebreality" shows ala Flavor of Love and I Love New York, it’s straight buffoonery to me. Or coonery. Whatever you wanna call it.
But one night, while trying to think of something to blog about, and after an episode of Tough Love went off and For the Love of Ray J came on, I got sucked in. I just HAD to see what all the nonsense was about. This show is discussed every Tuesday in my staff meetings at work and rates well every week. The most white-bred Jewish guy in my department is addicted to it. And every week, Facebook is lit up with status updates about “Danger” and “Unique” and all the other goings-on from that show. Of my Facebook friends, Rameer is the number one offender..Dre is a close second :-)
I never got Ray J. I always say I wish I could be a fly on the wall to hear what game he’s spittin’ to these chicks to make them fall for him. It’s one thing to think he’s cute as Brandy’s lil brother. But laying down with him? Really? I mean, he has shared women with Bobby Brown, had Superhead all in love with him, got women cooing like “dayumm” off the Kim Kardashian sex tape (I wasn’t all that impressed) and he’s even been said to have put his mack down on Whitney Houston! Da hell?
So, as I watched, listening to his country ass speak, I realized - Ray J is funny as hell! First of all, anyone who rolls with Warren G. AND Tom Green at the same party? Funny as hell. Anyone who says “peace to the homies” and wears a mink in hot ass Cali? Funny as hell. And anyone who KNOWS he wants crazy ass "Danger" as his chick? Funny as hell! (and maybe a bit nuts)
And yes…secretly I’m rooting for her crazy ass to "win"...even though I have a feeling she’s gonna smash the windows out his car one day and burn his house down. He better sleep with one eye open.
Anyway, I’ve never been one to be a tv or movie snob. If you like something, you like it. No need to justify it. I hear people say all the time, “I’m ashamed to admit I watch **insert show here**…” Hell, I’ve said it myself. But you know what? That’s what tv is for. Yes, it can be stupid and silly. But it's entertainment for SOMEONE. It’s escapism. It’s train wreck tv. It’s sometimes just funny as hell. And it’s all on basic cable...just call your local provider :-)
(or get a hook-up from the cable guy) Ha!
Ahem...sooooo, what show is your guilty pleasure? What tv show do you (or did you) hate to admit you watch religiously?
And this question is simply to satisfy my own curiosity...would you date a girl (or guy) who "smashed the homies?" LOL!!
Holla at me!
-b
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48 comments:
I am the First one to Smash Brooke's Blog... Bitches!!!
My firm don't ask don't tell policy... usually keeps me from having to find out the "smash the homies info" It's a tough call for me though...if they were in a relationship with a friend it's definitely not a choice. The dilemma is.. you are talking to a chick ... you get to liking her... you try not to judge her on her past... cause you are not perfect and you've had a few interludes that you hope never ever come out...... BUT DAM... Your boy knows about your girls goodies!!! That's a hard pill to swallow! I'm gonna say... my man ego probably will not be able to handle it!!!
Hear is an interesting thought. What if facebook had a feature...like the friend feature that let's you know you and somebody have a friend in common. Brooke ... what if i went to your page and it was a section tat said...brooke slept with 6 friends you know" and listed their picture!!! How hot would that be!!! LMAO Even hotter to find out... it ain't all dudes!!! LMAO LMAO
B, you have issues :-)
And that would never work, cuz the person would have to list that person as someone they slept with - and no one is gonna put their business out like that... especially not a woman. So you can forget that :)
What if the guy isn't a GREAT friend of yours...just someone you know..maybe kicked it with, played ball with...and it was YEARS earlier and she never even knew you guys knew each other...and it was a one time thing. THEN how would you handle it?
Pretty Ricky...I spit out some of my tea with that last comment! LMAO! That FB picture would be HOT...
I wouldn't call Ray J's show coonery. Bufoonery, sure. But coonery...nah. It's just a hot mess. But he isn't showing his teeth, dancing like a fool and eating fried chicken and acting like he has no intelligence, A La Flavor Flav. He's just a cornball, and the girls are just obviously trying to either groupie up to him or gain some fame and notoriety from the show so they can appear in some videos, do some cheap skin mags, etc.
I LOVE Ray J's show! So that would be MY pick, obviously, cuz I'm not into all those VH-1 coon shows (Flavor Flav, New York). I will say - I stopped being made at VH-1 for showing the lowest common denominator of our people and playing into stereotypes once they began airing "Rock Of Love". Hey, if you're gonna show US looking bad, you better show yourselves looking bad - and if you've ever seen 5 minutes of any of those "Rock Of Loves", BOY DO THEY SHOW WHITE PEOPLE LOOKING BAD. Hey, equal opportunity...
But for reals. NOTHING makes me laugh as hard as Ray J. I laugh out loud OBNOXIOUSLY watching that crap. And I'm not a laugh out loud kind of person when I'm alone.
As far as a girl smashing the homies...that's against the crew rules. Me and my boys always used to say "there are too many girls for you to be going after a girl I messed with". Which made perfect sense, being that it's TRUE. So, even if a girl liked us, we never would pull that trigger. EVER. Potential for too much drama or ill feelings.
I used to literally say to my boys (who were the only ones who knew all my relationships in college) that if they even looked at a particular girl I used to mess with and was extremely close, "I will look you in your eyes when I stick the knife in your gut and TWIST." I mean, I said that randomly, out of the blue, all the time:
My boy: Rameer, can u pass me the kethchup?
Me: I will gut u like a perch fresh from the ocean if you were to even flirt with the notion of making an inadvertent move on ---------."
My boy: Um...can your homicidal a$$ just pass me the Heinz, schizo??
None of my boys or me have EVER done that or tried. Actually, one dude I used to be friends with brought that up as a possibility...and I cut him back. Seriously - it ended our friendship. Not that he did it...that he would be willing to do it even though I may have a problem with it. This was on top of other issues, but I felt like if he would be willing to do that regardless of my feelings on it, then he wasn't a true friend and I didn't want him as such (told you guys - violate my code and cut people out QUICK FAST in a hurry).
So no, no girls smashing the homies for me. I even had a girl get bucked naked for me when I was younger and I wouldn't touch her - she had smashed the homie! Doing that is wrong on soooo manny levels for me.
One last thing - I KNOW why Ray J keeps Danger around. The same reason I would keep her around - she's crazy. And while I don't like crazy girls in my circumference in real life at this point in life, and one time, a crazy girl definitely had her place. Cuz you know what they say about crazy girls...
Brooke... I would looooooove to say that my man ego is not that big. But to be honest I don't know. I guess it would depend as well on how you found out. Ray J found on on TV... now everybody knows. (OK...maybe not everybody... but at least you 26 people that watch it on a regular!)
And to answer your last question, Brooke - I only HAVE great male friends. Everyone else are just people I'm cool with...and in that case, it doesn't matter cuz we don't have that tightness where it could potentially bother me.
Personally - I find women are way quicker to sleep with their friends' exes than men are.
B - Ray J's show is top-rated! You better recognize, fool! Lol!
LMAO "DANGER SHE SMASHED THE HOMIE"!! That was a funny episode. Yes, I watch the Ray J show. I too wanted to see what all the hoopla was about. I was trying to hate but the show sucked me in and it is now a regular part of my tv line up.
Now to answer the question...could I deal with someone if I know they have ran all up in one of my homegirls. The answer is NO. It just doesn't sit right with me. Now if they went out on a few dates and nothing happened and YEARS have passes AND she's over it (meaning moved on, has another boyfriend, or married with kids) then I could consider it. However, I would still talk to her about it to make sure things are on the up and up because she is my friend.
Pretty Ricky if there was a feature like that on facebook that would be CRAZY!! lol We all know people would front and those who fronted would be put on blast and then facebook would turn into the drama of "the young & the promiscuous" lol
Y'all stop talking to me... I'm writing a request to Facebook right now!
ah damn! Y'all gave Pretty Ricky another FB project! He should be the CEO of FB :-)
When Tom Green (of all people) said Danger "smashed the homies" I nearly fell out. Now I'm trying to find a reason to say it...just because :)
I think most people look at their friends' exes as no-no's when it comes to smashin the homies. But usually within 6 degrees of separation. If you look at my FB friends, we all have friends in common simply cuz we all went to school together. I imagine among the hundreds of people I know who all went to school together, then SOMEBODY had to smash SOMEBODY'S homie at some point :)
I guess we just have to keep it to ourselves :)
Here's a question - why do men LOVE crazy ass chicks? Women like bad boys (sometimes) but men like crazy chicks...why?
Well, I have tons of SU alums I'm cool with and have good relationships with - but everyone in my year knows who my CREW was. And when it comes to my closest peoples, we definitely don't deal with chicks who "smashed the homie".
Brooke...this isn't TMI - or should I say, DTTM - Tuesday...do you REALLY want to know why guys date/mess with crazy chicks???
Yes, I wanna know, that's why I asked! My cousin and I were talking about that too the other night at dinner.
I've dated guys who would tell me about their exes and these women would be straight crazy. Slashing tires, busting windows out of cars, calling other women threatening to kill them, all kinds of stuff. At first you wonder what the guy did to make them do all that, but then you realize that these women were simply crazy. I've dealt with men who did dirt, but I've never felt compelled to try to kill them or call other women or do some of those crazy things. Even if I thought about it for a split second, it was just a SPLIT second, and I never acted on it.
So...am I considered boring by comparison? I'd think so :) What draws men to crazy chicks?
Okay...you asked...
It has nothing to do with you being boring, men wanting something exciting, etc. As is always the case, once again a woman's technicolor mind has take over on assessing a black & white issue (men think in black & white, women thinking in 100 million colors). But it's cool - cuz lord knows you're ALL WOMAN...BOW CHICKA WOW WOW!!!
(Ahem) Sorry, got sidetracked...
Men who have experience typically mess with crazy chicks for one reason...
The poo-swa is THE BOMB.
No, seriously. That's the reason.
Most guys will start dating/messing with a girl and have no clue she's coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs. They find out later, and hilarity and hijinks ensue. But what KEEPS them there?? The poo-swa has powers comparable to WONDER GIRL!!! Seriously - powerful stuff, a crazy woman's yum yum.
I've been all over the country, talked to men of all age ranges, backgrounds, etc. All of those in the know agree - the crazier the chick, the better the love marsh.
I don't know why this is. I just know, even to this day, the minute I realize a girl is bonkers, I usually say "but I bet that poonanny will make you smack your mother!" And, every guy I know usually will complain about a crazy chick they're messing with or have messed with, but follow up with "but the poo-swa was CRAZY too..."
There it is. Crazy chciks more often than not have crazy Sugar walls.
I'm here all week, folks. Taking educational requests...lol!
Guess my...uh..."poo-swa" (that's a funny word)...is not all that great, cuz I'm far from bonkers! But good to know! LOL!
That's usually the same case with bad boy types. They usually have no ambition, direction or goals in life other than perfecting their stroke...so they probably have good, uh...skills as well, which is what keeps the woman there.
I don't think I had a technicolor view on this one...I just simply had no idea :) I just thought they might be more exciting :)
"love marsh"? LOL!!
and by the way, my nephews walk around going "bow chicka wow wow" now :) It's hilarious!
Brooke - it doesn't mean regular women don't have the bomb-bomb-zee between their legs too. I'm just sayin'...if you were to take 10 normal women, and 10 crazy chicks, I'd say 8-9 of the nutsos would have the insane american pie...the normal girls might just have some good, normal stuff - maybe 3-4 would have that stuff you through up in the sky that lights up the area...that sunshine poo-swa...
If you know how to lock, I doubt you have some regular, run-of-the-mill sweet potato pie you're working with... ;-)
Your nephews do the BOW CHICKA WOW WOW? Lol..now that's hilarious...
I've never dated one of those Thin Line type women...but I can attest...the ones that were on the crazier side of the spectrum did have some kryptonite between their legs...but other cats who do have those Lorena Bobbitt type girls! Man, to a man they talk about the crazy chicks hubba-bubba like it's a RELIGION...
Who told you about the "lock"? ;-)
What I got ain't no knick knack :)LOL! Let me stop...even tho I do drip honey...okay...let me REALLY stop! LMAO!!
I love all the names you have for "it" :)
YOU DRIP HONEY???
Maybe I can get Obama to give me a LOAN to go to DR...
LOL!
And I have plenty of names for the gushy-gushy...and did you forget?
YOU told me about The Lock!
oh...yeah...right ;)
LOL!
Hey, if you can get a loan, I'll see you there :)
Lmme ask the first question. My guilty pleasure is The Soup. Why? Because my brain can only handle small snippets of the nonsense that goes on on TV. I already lose like 30 million neurons by watching the Soup, if I watched any one of those non-reality TV shows my brain would lobotomize on it's own.
So Brooke I forced myself to watch that clip you posted with this blog post. It was quite painful and Ra, I don't know how you do it. After 3 minutes in, I wanted to bash the screen of my computer.
I'm going to somewhat deviate a bit, but I think a better question is "Why would a women "smash the homies" when all you are going to be seen as is, we'll..is a ______ dumpster".
This might sound crude but I wonder when women are going to understand that no matter how "empowered" you might feel, you actually move yourself farther and farther from the line of respectability. Yes, I realize that it's one way street because men aren't seen in the same light when they "smash the homettes". To be honest, I can't answer that question and I'm not a women, so when a man "smashes" around, he is seen as more manly and sexy. Why is that?
This kind of goes back to what I was saying before when we encourage "Stage One Thinking". That fact that we don't denounce this type of behavior, is well quite sobering. I'm not saying I'm any better. It's sobering for me too to even watch the Soup. I sometimes say to myself, "Why do I find comedy in people who are too ignorant to think, so they act out their stupidity for the whole world to watch?".
Anyway, The Soup is the only show. Other than that I spend 99% of my time watching Fora.tv, Frontline, C-SPAN, documentaries, and Islamic Lectures. My brain can only take but so much, and I keep out the bufoonery, even if, I get some guilty pleasure out of it. Soon I will be cutting TheSoup from MalikTV. No matter how you slice it, it's all Channel Zero.
I know that was painful for you Ox, so I appreciate you watching it. I saw 2 episodes of Ray J, so I'm basing my narrow view on the 2 I saw. I don't know how many are left, maybe 2? I'm curious to see who he chooses.
Like I said before, I don't normally watch shows like this. I won't say that I only watch news channels either, but I pretty much have varied taste. I watch MSNBC all day until Oprah comes on, then when I go home, it could be anything from Law & Order to Dateline to The Game to America's Next Top Model. I guess working in tv has made it easier, and more necessary, to see what's out there.
I was told at work that I don't watch ENOUGH tv and that I need to get out of my comfort zone and watch everything so that I know what's working and why, as well as what ISN'T and why.
Whether it's a show that I'd watch on my own, I get why Ray J rates so well every week. Some people use television for information. Some use it for entertainment. Others to escape. It's all about how you use the medium. To me, it's business first, entertainment second. While I don't agree alot of times with what's on tv, my own network included, I see why it's there and I see who watches it.
I think you have to balance/temper tv with other mediums and/or indulge in other forms of escapism, information seeking or entertainment. I read more than I watch tv...and I write more than that. I think as long as you have balance and keep what you're watching in its proper perspective, you can minimize the number of brain cells you're losing :)
As for women and how they're portrayed on television, videos, movies, etc. I totally agree. That is the main reason I don't watch shows like that...because it pains me to see women behave this way simply to gain some notoriety or fame. They're playing themselves, and it's sad. I'm sure she didn't think she'd have to tell everyone who she slept with on tv, but I guess she felt the need to so it wouldn't come out any other way - like she beat them to the punch. I'm too private of a person to ever go on a show like that, let alone put all my business on front street.
But you do raise an interesting point about double standards. Men seem to be less forgiving of a woman who slept with someone he knows LONG before she even knew him. I find that men look at women with disdain if she's as "sexually free" as he is, as if there's a difference. Men can try to justify it all they want, but if a woman was behaving on these shows like men do, they'd be calling her a ho. Like let's say the Bachelorette slept with half the men on that show vying for her attention - she'd be the nastiest thing on tv. But when men do it, it's okay because he needs to see if they have "chemistry."
Straight buffoonery to me. None of them should be doing it...man or woman.
Who da "EDDIE F" has SUGA WALLS?
I do ;-)
On that note...I'm sparking one up...
What will "sparking one up" do? LOL!!
Its a Toast! (Holding up Spliff) To SUGA WALLS!
LMAO!!!
We missed you yesterday Craig!
Right now my guilty pleasure it the Biggest Loser. I really have time to watch all that much TV. I DVR what I can.
I doubt I can date a girl who slept with a friend. However, I have slept with a few who have ended up dating friends of mine...
...and no, I am not telling them
BROOKE STEP AWAY FROM THE TV AND TURN RAY J OFF!
Now let me read through the comments and yes...I did watch the clip and even I'm curious to know what his parent's think.
This is why I don't have a tv nor cable
(fellas don't worry before I get married I'll have a tv)...to who ever that is lol!
The Biggest Loser is a good show, should be no guilt in that. It's inspiring television in my opinion. I watch it myself. I always feel like going out and running a few miles after I watch taht show :) It's motivating, well, to me it is anyway.
Serena, I was wondering if you were going to actually watch the clip :) I normally don't pay attention to shows like that til they get to the end anyway. That's with any type of "competition show" whether it's Ray J or American Idol or Top Model. It really doesn't matter til you get to the end anyway.
Oh, and Ray J's parents didn't like ANY of the girls...especially Ma Dukes! LOL!
Now, there have been MANY a night where I go home and never turn on the tv...but I have to have one in my house. I'd be fired if I didn't, and I have my tv on all day at work...which is why it's hard for me to turn it on sometimes when I go home. But you're good! Could never do that.
Unique is Hot Though...I may watch it for her...
but she's sneaky and manipulative. At least with Danger, you KNOW she's crazy...yet honest. The other girl is just wack to me, to much of a "yes" girl.
Hey peeps,
First of all why are you showing me another crazy show to get addicted to!!!!! After my stay in NY I am already tivo'in Making the Band and the dance show and The Hills....
My real guilty pleasure is The Real Housewives of..... I like all of them.....and of course anything fashion related....Tim Gunn...Love him!!!!!!I do watch Keeping up with the Kardashians on occasion too....
Anyway about the smash thing...I think only a guy would have a problem with it if he REALLY liked the girl....but he just wanted to smash it I don't think he would care.....and a woman I don't think would have a problem with it if the person who smashed it was just a friend, but if it was a BEST FRIEND then it would feel uncomfortable for the sake of the friends feelings. But if the person is a friend a woman might not give a rats ass because ahe would be looking at it like a challenge.....Woman can be spiteful like that....I getting a flash back........
oh yeah, Nicole and I watched Making the Band, Taking the Stage (I think that's what it's called) and The Hills on a rainy afternoon. And Rameer is right, straight bitchassness on Making the Band...I can't believe those dudes were CRYING! Plain silly.
I didn't tivo them tho...that was a one time deal for me...it wasn't enough to bring me back :)
Nicole is the QUEEN of guilty pleasure shows :)
And I agree...if a man just wanted to have sex with some girl, he might not care if she smashed the homies or not. The cable guy told me it's called "jump off and dump off"...how nasty is that? Gross.
But other than that, I think it's just an unspoken rule that you don't go behind or after your friends' exes.
A feature on FB where you knew someone slept with someone that you once smashed is heeeeeelarious! Pretty Ricky you're a trip!
My guilty pleasure was Making the Band when the name of the group was Da Band! Madness!
Then in 2006 another guilty pleasure was College Hill and to take my mind off of crap...106th and Park lol!
Another guilty pleasure show (when I had tv) was America's Next Top Model.
I'm not sleepin' with NO GIRL that smashed my homies. NO EXCEPTIONS. Like I said...bucked-naked in front of me, and I still said "nah, son - NAHHH!!!"
Ox...everyone who knows me can't figure out why I love Ray J. But I think Brooke hit on it - since I work in TV, I don't want to watch anything really heavy...so TV for me is escapism. Normally, I don't watch the crappier things, but Ray J has me hooked cuz it truly makes me laugh very hard...and I NEED to laugh with all that I see and all that happens in my life.
All the rest of the things I watch, most people say "that SEEMS like something you would watch" based on my demeanor. Since I tend to watch shows that are lauded as well-written, my choices never surprise people. Ray J is like the only surprise...even the ones that aren't regarded as well-written fit into my fun nature.
I tend to watch A LOT of sports and cartoons...cuz there's so much CRAP on the tele...
I don't watch ANY of the news networks. I work at a news station...all that crap upsets me or brings down my spirit. Besides, I'm old school - I like to read about stuff, cuz then I can fact check it rather than take a reporter's word...since there's no unbiased reporting any more.
I'll be watching the NBA Playoffs for the forseeable future. Thing I watch the most?
Sportscenter.
"DANGER - SHE SMASHED THE HOMIES! DANGER - SHE SMASHED THE HOMIES!!"
Pure comedic GENIUS. LMAO!!!
I agree Rameer, when you work in tv, your perception is different. I tend to over-analyze everything I see, whether it's on A&E, ESPN, Discovery, you name it. Sitcoms, documentaries, dramas...I'm taught to look for certain things content wise and technically. I had to learn to sit back and just be entertained...just see the silly side of life, because otherwise 1) I'd be so serious all the time and 2)I'd feel like I was taking my work home with me everytime I turned on the tv. It's an escape for me. When I really want to get the news, I usually read about it in a paper or online.
I used to work at MSNBC, so I'm biased towards them because I feel like I'm watching my old friends' work. But you're right, there is no unbiased reporting anymore, so as long as you're aware of it, it's whatever to me.
I do love watching Sportscenter too, even when they're just running the same thing over and over again :) I can watch almost anything, cuz like I said...it's business first...everything else second.
And I'm sure you can tell by the nature of my blog, escaping and keeping it light are what I strive for since I'm stressed most of the time at work...gotta have fun with it.
I'm gonna start saying "peace to the homies" now :) LOL!
Why I gotta be the QUEEN...am I that bad??!?!?!? Do I need an intervention?!?!?
You might :) You have more things programmed on DVR than anyone I know.
Actually, I take that back. Su does! And she watches ALL of that stuff....Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, I Love NY, Ray J, all of it! So no, you're not the queen, Su is!
Whew!!!! I have alot of regular stuff taped though too....Oprah, The View, Curious George, The Game....these shows are not guilty pleasures to me....they are just regular shows....
Curious George is Kyce's guilty pleasure :-)
Curious George is THA SHIZNIT!!! Good taste!
I like Pocoyo and Veggie Tales for my lil' family members, too...
Yeah Rameer and I always start in on FB when this show starts because it is comedy. What set it apart from the other shows is, you feel like Ray J is in on the joke. His comments are something I could hear one of my friends saying while they're watching it...if I had corny friends.
And yes I have smashed someone that smashed a homie. Not like the next day, but hey as years go by, you're not always up on who smashed who, you meet someone, things happen. Years later...yeah I know her she's cool...what? oh word!? I didn't know you smashed that!?
(shrug)
Danger is an attractive woman. There were other more attractive women on there as well. I cant imagine leaving her in my house when I'm not there though...
Yo Rameer, say it with me...
"Larry?? Chicago...Larry!!?!" LMAO
see, this is how it starts... :-)
Hey Brooke, another funny ass blog today. My guilty pleasure was Tool Academy. This show was priceless. 12 guys show up for a show they think is called MR. AWESOME. come to find out their girlfriends brought them on cause they were total asshole tools who needed to learn how to become men. I'd laugh so hard I almost wet myself. I can't wait for season 2.
As for smashing the Homies that's a no no. My cirle of girls have 2 spoken rules. #1. I don't care how in love I am (even if you see lovebirds flying around my head)if my man ever flirts with or makes an advance towards you TELL ME ASAP. #2. Fell free to check him, son him and crumb is ass if he does(then call me so we can laugh about it. Rameer you are hilarious.
Stephanie
Tool Academy? How come I'm just now hearing about this?! That sounds hilarious to me! I MUST find it!
And I'm with you. If my man ever tried to step to one of my girls, then they'd better tell me the VERY NEXT SECOND. And definitely check him!
You got good points there, so I always visit your blog, it looks like you are an expert in this field. keep up the good work, My friend recommends your site.
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