Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Happy Hump Day!

Today has been a HECTIC day so far, and it shows no signs of slowing down. So today I'm going to try to keep it short and sweet and get some late conversation going.

Yesterday I asked who forgave infidelity easier, or more often - men or women? I said that women tend to forgive easier and more often and I think for the most part everyone agreed with that (except Annamaria) ;-)

Well, today, my question is a little different. My question to you today is who takes heartbreak harder - men or women?

We've all been there. We've all had our heart broken. Well, MOST of us anyway right? Raise your hand if you haven't....didn't think so ;-) Heartbreak doesn't discriminate. It touches man, woman, black, white, young, old - all of us. However, when it comes time to deal with a heartbreak, who handles it better - men or women?

I can hear Annamaria now - "all situations are different, each circumstance is unique, you can't make a generalization."

Well, I'm about to :-)

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that men handle heartbreak worse than we do. And here's why.

Women tend to be more in tune with our emotions. We're emotional creatures - sometimes to a fault - so this may make it seem like we take heartbreak harder. When our heart is broken, we cry, we call our sisters, our mom, our girlfriends. We have a support system in place for such things.

"Girl, forget him, it's HIS loss."

"Girl, it's gonna be alright, he was ugly anyway."

They usually know exactly what to say to make us feel better. They'll even offer to help you slash his tires, bust the windows out his car, burn all his pictures and clothes or bury the body. Well...maybe that's just MY friends ;-) LOL!

I kid (a lil bit) but you get the point. Women seem to go through the emotions of a breakup sooner. We face the trauma head on, we mourn the loss early. Personally, I will call my sister and friends and talk their ears off til I'm tired of talking about it, and then suddenly....POOF! I'm over it! And good friends will be that shoulder for you until you need them to be...most likely because they know they'll need you the same way down the road. Give and take - good girlfriends are PRICELESS!

But men on the hand rarely go running to their boys crying talking about, "I don't wanna be alone! I'll never find someone else!" If it happens, it must take place in some deep, dark dungeon somewhere. Men tend to channel their frustrations and heartbreaks through other things - like work, sports, drinking...OTHER WOMEN. Most of the guys I know who got their heart broken looked for sex from an ex or the next chick just so they can try to take their minds off the woman they REALLY love. Not all men do this, but my point is that a lot of men will try to hide or dismiss their feelings altogether. I think men take longer to commit, so when they do they give it all they have. We all know men have HUGE (yet fragile) egos and believe they'll never get hurt or aren't capable of getting hurt. So when it happens, it's a huge blow. And if they have no support system to vent these feelings or don't seek one, then they can bottle all their emotions inside til the bottle breaks and everything comes spilling out.

Now of course this is all my opinion, and there are those who will say this is too general of a topic to base such an opinion - but let's talk about it. Now, of course my opinion was not meant in any way to discount feelings, or offend anyone's sensibilities. I'm just going by what I observe and my and others' life experiences. All heartbreak hurts - man or woman - and we all deal with it differently. But generally speaking, I believe men seem to take heartbreak much harder than women. What do you think?

So much for keeping it short and sweet! LOL!! Holla!



Annamaria said...

FIRST AGAIN...Now I will comment

Annamaria said...

ACTUALLY BROOKEY KNOW IT ALL I AGREE WITH YOU. I feel that men do take heartbreak MUCH harder than women.

Brooke said...

LOL!!! Just making sure you're reading :-) LMAO!

E.Payne said...

This one's easy. Men, by far. Since we spend so much time being hardcore we don't work through our feelings like the females do so when it's over, ladies are truly over it whereas men have only begun to start their emotional journey. It's pretty sad. I've been guilty of this repeatedly. It's sad.

Sorry, my dudes. Can't front on this one.

Rameer said...

Did you expect this to be a DEEP convo?? Anyone with a BRAIN knows men take it harder! Who the hell is going to disagree with you? Bishop Don Magic Juan? Huggy Bear? Goldie The Mack??

There's nothing I can even add to this! It's just the truth!

I STILL haven't gotten over your recent disregard for MY heart...

***cues up Toni Braxton's "Unbreak My Heart"***

-V- said...

Men for sure.

I've had friends completely shut down for weeks ... or even months. You have to literally drag them out of the house!

Brooke said...

oh boy! Stop it Rameer!

Okay, well guess it wasn't that hard of a question then :) Some women I know have told me that since we tend to love harder we take it harder...but saying we love harder is debatable. Maybe we love more easily, or more often, but not sure about harder.

Weeks? Months? Where are all these men? I've never see one go thru it like THAT!

Rameer said...

Oh, I KNOW dudes who have gone through it for months. We just don't show it, and react differently.

One dude I knew reacted by sleeping with an opposing sorority's membership over a year's time to get back at his ex, who was in another sorority...but he was crushed inside. A shallow, empty man...

Me? I'm getting over Brooke with rum and fruit juice, and lots of wine, Sade and chocolate ice cream...and candles. Alone. On the couch. In sweats. And non-matching socks.

With tears.

***cues up Sade's "Somebody Already Broke My Heart"

Brooke said...

I need to take away your iPod, you're killing me with the songs Rameer! LOL!! Something tells me you'll get over me REAL QUICK!:)

Rameer said...

SEE? You don't even KNOW me like you should!

I don't "I" anything - phone, pod, or whatever!


***cues up Luther Vandross' "Superstar/Until You Come Back To Me", reaches for Kleenex***

Brooke said...

LMAO!!! Sorry man!

Remind me how I broke your heart again? Cuz we ALL know I don't REALLY own a webcam and I was just KIDDING about the stripper! LOL!

Rameer said...

***Unable to respond, overwhelmed with emotion, does the silent cry with tears streaming down cheeks; cues up Smokey Robinson & The Miracles' "Tracks Of My Tears"***

AH said...

OMG!!!! Just had this conversation a few days ago....(according to the original post) I guess my friends and ex were right....I DO react like a man!!! While I even though I seem that I would give a feminine reaction--I clearly keep so much bottled up inside....after the first few weeks of hurt, I'm full force concentrating on other things to avoid the pain. It takes a LOT for me to like a man, let alone let him in my home, life, etc. So when there's a break up, give me about 6-8 months, I'll be ok...maybe....then I'll kick myself for taking that long because time is NOT on my side. But oh well....

Brooke said...

Well, then maybe you need to let it out sooner! LOL! But I hear you. I think as we women get older, we're more cautious about loving when we do, it hurts bad when we break up. But I've found that the older I get, the more I understand that I've been hurt before and I'll get over's made me stronger, more resilient. Some heartbreaks take longer, others don't...each is different. But you can't beat yourself over how long it takes you to get over something. Feelings are feelings...they're there. Just allow yourself to feel them and you'll be over it before you know it!

phillygrl said...

rameer was too fully on this not sure why Luther Vandross didn't make it into his mix, but maybe he just kept that bottled up! lol! too much work, im just getting to read this..... stay dry!(it's rainy here)

Georgia Peach said...

Funny topic. I def agree with what everyone says, but I'll play the devils advocate and say that you can't always generalize. :o) I'm probably a lot more like AH in my reactions though. Since it takes me longer to get into my relationships I tend to let them linger on (in my head) way longer than they should.

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