Tuesday, April 24, 2012

I Call Bullsh*t!

Yes, I'm in one of those moods....so that's that.

- I call bullshit on fake ass vegetarians. You know...the ones who claim not to eat meat, but will scarf down pizza, potato chips, cookies and anything else that is not healthy for you, but still feel that since they're not eating meat, they're being "more healthy" than you are. Donuts don't have meat in them either, but I'm pretty sure it's not cool to eat them everyday.

- I call bullshit on iPhone users who are angry that Android users can now get the Instagram app. I mean...really? It's just a phone, who cares??!!

- Speaking of Instagram, I call bullshit on folks who get all dolled up, snap a pic of themselves in a mirror SHOWING US that they're taking a pic of themselves, but then caption the flick with something totally self deprecating like "bad hair day" (KNOWING they're fresh out the salon) or "I'm not the cutest girl in the world, but I love me!" Um, if you know that a photo of you isn't flattering, you'd never post it on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook or anywhere else. You'd delete it. So why front like the pic you posted is ugly when you know you were feeling yourself when you posted it??? Stop fishing for compliments or for people to validate you. All it really does is show how insecure you really are.

- I call bullshit on people who text you, but when you call them RIGHT BACK, they don't pick up. I know the phone is still in your hand man! Stop playin'. Unless you're in a meeting, there's no reason for this, in which case you probably shouldn't be texting anyway unless it's an emergency...which it usually isn't.

- I call bullshit on sentencing a mother to 5 years in prison for fraudulently enrolling her six-year-old son in the wrong school district just so he could have a better education. Mind you, the woman was homeless at the time she did it, so she had no "real" address anyway. Police said the mother stole $15,686 worth of 'free' educational services from the Norwalk, CT school district. How exactly do you convict someone for "stealing" FREE education? Pure fuckery.

- I call bullshit on People Magazine's "Sexiest Man or Woman Alive" issue. Who exactly are they asking? They're not asking me...whatever.

- I call bullshit on "frenemies." If you're not down with me FOR REAL, keep it moving. Beat it Scram Jones!

- I call bullshit on men and women who constantly complain about how bad of a parent their baby's mamma or child's father is when they KNEW beforehand what a terrible parent they were if they had kids already that they didn't parent responsibly. If you see this chick running around with bad ass kids and she doesn't take care of them, then strap up so you don't have a child with her and have to deal with her crazy ass! Same goes for women - get your ass on the pill if you can't resist the long stroke if you know he's a deadbeat to his other kids. And if you can't or refuse to do that, then don't complain. Deal with it.

- I call bullshit on Shaunie O'Neal. She's a pimp....and full of sh*t.

I think I'm done....what do YOU call bullshit on today?




Anthony Otero said...


Anthony Otero said...

Can we call Bullshit on Brian McKnight??? lol

Brooke said...

I heard he made a mixtape? is that what we're calling bullshit on? LOL!

Stef said...

I call bullshit on Ant popping up out of nowhere after being MIA and then being FIRST! LOL!

Yolanda said...

Ditto, Brian McKnight.

Anthony Otero said...

Oh Stef.

How about I make it up to you by getting you a Crispy Chicken Wrap from BK as we listen to Brian Mcknight's new web hit...

Stef said...

MJB will NEVER live that down!

Jaz said...

So what's the deal with Brian McKnight, can someone please share? :)

Oh, and Shaunie is the worst of them all because she's producing that mess!

Stephanie said...

I call Bullshit on tourist who pretend not to speak English.When i don't give them the answer they want to hear all of sudden they know enough English to curse me out. @ Brooke I agree I hate texters who don't answer their phone.
I call bullshit on women saying there are no good men out there. There are good men out here stop going after these losers and open your eyes maybe you'll find one. Try something different than you normally would. You can't turn a thug into a husband. I'm tired of women thinking a man is suppose to take care of her ass. He is not your father. It's suppose to be a partnership. I'm tired of men thinking every sexual contact should be like a porno movie, that heffa got paid big bucks to do that gutter shit. I'm a lady who likes to freak off not a porn star.....Just saying.

Anonymous said...

I call bullshit on myself!!! Avting like I'm mad for being at jury duty when I know I don't want to go back to work!!!

I call bullshit on people riding MjB about singing about chicken... When we all like chicken. Shyt I hum and tap my feet e'er time I have some good fried chicken!!!

Pretty ricky what-dey-call-em

The Cable Guy said...

I call bullshit on dudes who think Serena Williams is hot. She looks like a dude, so a man who wants to hit that gets the side eye from me.

I call bullshit on women who are applying this 90 day rule to their sex lives because Steve Harvey said so when they KNOW they a ho any other time. Trying it ONCE doesn't make you NOT be a ho anymore. I'm all for growth, but if it's to catch a man, and not for YOURSELF, you still a ho.

Brooke said...

I call bullshit on people ditching me today! First Monica at lunch, now my boo is hanging with his boy instead of going to see The Five Year Engagement with me.

Guess I can't say that I blame him for that one tho...TRAITOR!

@Pretty Ricky, jury duty isn't all that fun either...at least not for me it wasn't.

@Stephanie, I agree. Porn stars do that mess for the camera, and they edit the hell out of it. And men who expect porn star sex better be able to last at least an hour straight, no rest, and be 12 inches long for all that nonsense!

Stef said...

@Pretty Ricky,

I agree about MJB and chicken! Everyone I knew who was complaining about that are the very ones to eat Popeyes every night for dinner, or who will break their neck when Popeyes has their 20 pieces of chicken for $5 deal. So stop it!

A-buzzz said...

I call Bullshit on the chicks that use Baller alert to find out where Ballers are going to be at in hopes of catching themselves a baller... (Hot 97 this morning)

I call BIGGER BS on the dumb ass men that fall for these trifling ass hoes. #justsaying

I call Bullshit on the two publicity whores that are KIMYE...

I call Bullshit on DUMB PEOPLE.. #Justcause

@Stephanie..People come up to me EVERY DAY talking to me in Spanish because they "don't know Endlish"... That's when I hit them back with Sorry I don't speak spanish... Even though I can speak, write & read it.

Anonymous said...

I call bullshit on people who swear they are not influenced by prejudices and stereotypes. Come on son... U don't buy into any of them???

Pretty ricky what-dey-call-em

Sicko said...

I call Bullshit on people who post their every move on Face Book!!

Who the F**k Cares!!!

Geeque4u said...

@ Cable Guy- I agree!!! LOL

Serena Hot? NOT!!

Stef said...


I cosign that...and Twitter! Who the f*ck cares!!???

The Cable Guy said...


Yeah, I tend to like my women to look like...WOMEN.

AND I hear she has a stank attitude too? You can't be manly AND stank...not a good look.

Anonymous said...

Now that summer is approaching, I call Bullshit on women who wear sandles with a bandaid on their toe!!!

Domina*Tricks said...

Brooke's "I Call Bullshit" blogs are hilarious to me!

I call bullshit on people who act like prudes, but are the most promiscuous people walking. Don't judge me because I have great sex. Get YOU some!

Stef said...


Or women who don't put lotion on their feet first KNOWING their crusty ass heels are out!

Jaz said...

I call bullshit on open marriages. What's the poing of getting married? Why not just stay single?

Aisha G of HartlynKids said...

*slow clap*

Serena W. said...

I'm a day late but can I chime in LOL!

Brooke I love, "I call bullshit on "frenemies." If you're not down with me FOR REAL, keep it moving. Beat it Scram Jones!" Are you reading my mind? Had to deal with some of this while I was in NYC. People are funny!!!

I call BS on grown people (I mean grown enough to be my Mama) to ask someone what's the problem, talk smack and smile in my face. You're too old for this and so am I! Wow.

I call BS on men who complain about having women escorted by the police out of their house but yet go back to the same type of chick and wonder why they can't find anyone! WTH! You keep wanting crazy a** chicks!

Sorry had to vent!

True story too y'all!

Everything else I agree with on here. I'm mad I missed this yesterday!

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