Monday, August 22, 2011

Happy Monday!

I'm trying to get myself situated in my new digs at work - I have a brand new office that I'm totally in love with! At first I thought I wouldn't have time to blog AND unpack, but a compromise would be to ask a question of the here it goes!

This topic came up over the weekend, so I'll pose the question to you all today. What are your dating/relationship deal breakers?

Personally, addictions, abuse (verbal or physical), selfishness, infidelity and lying are at the top of my list. Those are usually at the top of MOST people's lists, although I'm sure exceptions can be made in some cases and everyone is different.

The list doesn't have to be that serious, heavy, light or detailed, but I'm curious to see what you all have to say: bad breath, he's too short, she's too tall, you have different religious beliefs, he or she is too messy or have children or multiple marriages. Let's hear it - what are your dating/relationship deal breakers?

I won't date him/her if _____________




Anthony Otero said...


Anthony Otero said...

I won't date her if:

- her toes are nasty
- she has more facial hair than me
- if her breath was kickin like like '05
- if ex was a stalker (true story)
- if she is a member of AARP
- if she can't cook
- if she is unemployed (and not in school)
- if she does not READ.

Rameer The ILLAbstract said...

Damn you, Ant.

I've done this before on the blog, so I won't lay out the entire huge list of things that I'm sure many of us agree on anyway. I'll just list ten specific to me:

1. Belly is on of your favorite movies.

2. You're into drugs other than weed. And if you're a weedhead, I can't do that either. I don't mind a person who tokes now and then, but not a buddhahead. I don't use any drugs, btw.

3. A woman who is physically abusive or aggressive. My women friends would KILL her.

4. Stupidity/Ignorance. I can't STAND stupid people, especially people who are willfully that way.

5. Women with kids. No knock, but it's not for me. Although I've made exceptions in the past.

6. Gold diggers, popularity whores and fame-chasers.

7. Anyone with 7 evil exes.

8. Major jealousy and insecurity issues. I have a lot of women who are close to me - and I'm not ending my friendships with them due to silly issues someone might have with me daring to have attractive lady friends.

9. STDs. Not doing it.

10. Self-hate. Can't do proud of who and what you are.

I think that's a pretty decent list of things that are deal breakers for me...

Yolanda said...

In no particular order:

1. Smoking

2. Drugs (I've never tried anything, I'd prefer you to be sober most days, too)

3. Rigidity (you must be willing to learn about and try new things, foods, destinations, etc...)

4. Stupidity

5. Short (I really can't do shorter than me at all. I'm expanding my horizons though to include men in the 5'10" range...see, I'm growing)

6. Babymamadrama

7. Not dressing your age on most occasions ("Give me a crisp pair of jeans, n***a button up...")

8. Men who don't like women who like "Belly"

9. Liars (if you lie about small things, you'll surely lie about the big things)

10. Non believers (we don't have to share the same religion or all the same beliefs but you've got to have some moral fiber and belief in something greater than yourself)

Rameer The ILLAbstract said...

Knock it off, Yogi. You know you want my baaaaaahhhhhhhhh-deeeeeeee...

Oh yeah. Smoking and lying are MONSTROUS deal breakers for me as well. But Any is buggin' on the AARP - Halle Berry qualifies for AARP!!! Lolz!!

Yolanda said...

Ant is sleeping on that AARP. You know what kinda perks they get?!?

Annamaria said...

@Yolanda.. TELL HIM ABOUT AARP... I have 2 other friends my age (we are ALL a month apart.) Both of their hubbys are 10 years older than them & Powerz is 6 years older than me AND we are COUNTING down the days until we can take advantage of the AARP discounts!!! LMAO

Su Su said...

Deal Breakers:
1) He'd rather lie than tell the truth
2) The dirt under his fingernails are the cleanest thing about him
3) He has no idea that there is no word called "mouf"
4) His last completed grade was the "ninff" grade
5) He's still wearing gold fronts and a jeri-curl!
6) If his man-hips and/or man-boobs are bigger than mine
7) He's wearing an ankle bracelet
8) He forgot how many kids he has
9) His wife keeps calling me
10) His pee pee is a wee wee! No lie. I'm out. F-dat!

I could go on and on... lol

Anthony Otero said...

Look! Out off the AARP members you pull out Halle Berry? That aint right...that is like the 2%!

I am just banana is not meant to be gummed on....yet.

Yolanda said...

So, you prefer teeth on your banana?


Sillouette said...

I would date him if he's ....

An attention Seeker and likes to talkabout himself ALL THE TIME (must it always be about you)

Liar, Cheat , or a Thief. Of course...

If He dont READ

No desire to constantly feed there mind intellectually.

Babymamadrama (of any sort)

Got drama period in their life.

Has a rowdy family of( jailbirds, and drama filled relatives,etc)

Have no car at all.

Live with his mama for no reason.

Has a roomate (Shows me your either co-dependent or irresponsible).

Cant keep a job (irresponsible)

Ever ask me for money, to cosign, or to buy HIM ANYTHING!!!!

Is needy and a complainer and needs constant reassuring...

a criminal record or on probation

Has no gentlemen like manners.

A Drugee of any kind.

Has a smart comment for everything (such a turn off)

Thinks hes Gods gift to women

Doesnt pull his own weight..

Always looking for a hand out..

Has no sense of humor..

* this is just to anme a few... LOL

Sillouette said...


Stef said...

What benefits do AARP people get?? Ya'll got me curious now!

I won't date him if:

His breath stinks - I like to kiss.

He's a mama's boy.

He's a jailbird.

He's content to be unemployed and NOT looking.

OD's on video games.

Has more kids than...who's that basketball player with all the damn kids? If it's over 5-6, then I can't do it.

Is a 2 minute brotha.

Is a 2 inch brotha.

Doesn't have a high school diploma.

Doesn't believe in God.

Is selfish.

Is a drug addict.

Is abusive in ANY way.

Is controlling or possessive.

Is a liar or a cheater.

Has bad hygiene.

Jaz said...


"his wife keeps calling me"


The Cable Guy said...

Y'all hit on most of mine. Don't have much to add, although I WILL say there seem to be some shallow traits on some of ya'll's lists. I mean, I understand preferences, but DEAL BREAKERS?

If a dude was EVERYTHING you wanted but was 2 inches shorter than you, you'd dead him?

If a woman had almost EVERYthing you wanted, was perfect in every other way but couldn't cook, you'd bounce?

F*ck ouuta here.

If Brooke couldn't cook, I'd STILL be chasing her ass, cuz she's got a whole bunch of other shit going on that makes her a catch. I'd gladly cook for her every day.

All I'm saying is, some things require compromise and to look at what's REALLY important.

Yolanda said...

AARP is one of the biggest lobbying groups in the country. Health care discounts, restaurant discounts, hotels, car insurance, car rentals, groceries, cell phones, etc...

Yolanda said...

I'm broadening my horizons on the short thing.

Annamaria said...

Mondays is senior citizens day at IHOP. You get discounts in Target on Wednesdays. Kohls has 15% off on Wednesdays... Shoot I can go ON & ON... :)

Annamaria said...

I have to agree with Rameer on Belly.. that is one of the MOST ignant movies ever made..HORRIBLE. Everyone involved in that movie should be TASED!

Rameer The ILLAbstract said...

I gotta agree with Captain Cable on the short thing and the non-cooking thing. People can be TAUGHT to cook...and tallness doesn't make a guy better or worse - I know PLENTY of tall arseholes. Lolz...

And I KNOW most won't feel like Belly is a real deal breaker - but that just lets you know how horrible I think that garbage is. If that's your FAVORITE flick or one of them - it demonstrates a mindset that won't work with mine. Lmao...

Rameer The ILLAbstract said...

Annamaria - SERIOUSLY. I'm glad someone feels me on that...

Yolanda said...

Height doesn't make you a better man at all. I just like the feeling of being enveloped. I think sometimes you want to feel small next to a guy. I'm sure it's some deep psychological issue that dates back to being the tallest girl in my classes from pre-K to 8th grade.

Brooke said...

I was mad when I discovered there was a BELLY 2 ;) LOL!

Yolanda said...

Belly had some nice cinematography though. Hype does wonders with a blue light. *shrug*

Courtney said...

I agree with Cable Guy, there are some things I had to learn to bend on as I got older. I used to think that being a taller man was "safer" or made me feel more "girlie." But then I started dating men my height, and one that was even a little shorter and they were REAL MEN compared to some of the all "arseholes" that Rameer mentioned. Being tall doesn't make you a real man. I've met some real punks who were well over 6'3. So I've relaxed that standard.

I know how Yolanda feels, and being tall myself I get it - but if the ONLY thing wrong with a guy is that he's not 6' tall, then I can most certainly deal with that.

Things I CAN'T deal with though are:

and Ignorant Fools

And no, Belly was NOT a good movie :) LOL!

Yolanda said...

I concur with Courtney. I'll move height to my preference list.
*kicks rocks on myself*

Annamaria said...

Belly 2????? OMG someone really should have been shot for even coming up with that concept??

I'm mad that Yolanda tried to look on the bright side with Belly 1.... I might have to tase her too..LOL

Yolanda said...

Haa! The move was garbage but those bedroom scenes where the people look sorta blue-black were hot. #BrightsideMonday

I'm digging a hole with these Belly comments... totally asking for a kidney punch from Rameer, by the way.

Yolanda said...


Anthony Otero said...

Yolanda - Teeth would be

Brooke said...


Belly WAS shot beautifully, but that's the only good thing you can say about that movie. It was just one long music video.

I felt the same way when i realized they made a Trois 2...AND a Trois 3. Straight to dvd foolishness.

I was the tallest girl in school til probably 10th grade, then all of a sudden the boys shot up past me. I never minded being taller than the guys, because I was such a tom boy that I considered them competition. Being taller had its advantages :)

I've never had a problem dating a man shorter than I am, and the majority of the most confident men who have approached me have been shorter than me. And yes, some of the most PUNK ASS men I've known have been VERY tall.

Now stank breath...THAT I can't get with :)

The Cable Guy said...

Glad you came to your senses Boo Bear :) aka Yolanda.

Speaking off, another deal breaker for me would be a woman who doesn't want any kids or who doesn't like them - given that I have a son and want more.

Stef said...

Ant likes TEETH on his "banana"? LMAO!

Yolanda said...

LOL @ Boo Bear!!!

I'm not dumb. I certainly wouldn't turn a good man away. I've dipped in the 5'9 to 6'3 pools before so I'm definitely not limiting my options on either end of the spectrum. I agree though, it goes on the preference list, much like how some of y'all would prefer no wiggery and whatnot.

The Cable Guy said...

I got no problem with a chick with a wig piece, not if she sessy! as you would say ;)

eula_w said...

I won't date him if:

-he smoke
-drink too much

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