Friday, October 5, 2012

"Sexual Fluidity"


So I was having a conversation with Miss Brittany - my colleague here at work - and I wanted to pose these questions of the day to the blog family. Let's start with this one: Do you feel that women are...or can be...more "sexually fluid" than men?

The question came about because we were discussing bisexuality. I told her that I didn't believe that men (or women really) were bisexual. I think that if a man gets aroused by another man, he's gay. Same for a woman. Now, I could be wrong...and since I'm neither gay or bisexual, it's quite possible I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Brittany feels that it's harder for men to be as sexually fluid as women can because of their position in the world - their conditioning to be "male" and "masculine" - and that because we as a society don't support masculinity within bisexuality as much as we support women and femininity within bisexuality, we're quicker to label a man as gay rather than giving him the freedom to be bisexual.

So what say you?

Do you believe that any person - male or female - can be bisexual? Only women? Or do you believe that you're either gay or straight and nothing in between?




john said...

me firtst...negros and white folks!

john said...

Clearly you can be both,it just seems like our society is more accepting of female bisexuality. The men that might wanna flip it both ways are probably afraid of what people are going to think our say."Controversy"

Stef said...

Where the hell did John come from!?

Mr. Nice Guy said...

I don't know, I don't think that a man can be bisexual. I just think you're gay or not. I think anything in between signifies confusion. I think men accept bisexuality in women more because of fantasy, and women...I think they do it to attract other men because they know it's our fantasy. I just think you're either gay or you're not.

Stef said...

I think that men who flip it both ways are on the DL personally. They're afraid to admit theyre GAY, not bisexual. I think they use the term bisexual to hide their homosexuality.

As far as sexual fluidity, I don't know what that means. I think women being bisexual is a joke too, we just accept it more.

The Cable Guy said...

I don't understand homosexuality, so I might not be the best person to ask about this. I don't see how a dude can be gay. But hey, if you are, then that's you. But if your dick gets hard for another man, then you're gay. Period.

Yolanda said...

Absolutely. I think it's socially acceptable for a woman to acknowledge another woman's hotness, even if she doesn't act on it. Men can't even comment or admit another man is good-looking without it being an issue. I'm not sure I'm fully on the you're either this or that bandwagon. I'm Team Peen, so I certainly wouldn't want any dude that I'M with to be into men, but I can understand how a person falls in love with another person, without seeing gender. It's a very fascinating discussion actually.

Stephanie said...

America has a very puritanical view of sexuality and nudity.In Europe they seem to be more accepting. I even had a European friend of mine say " Oh Stephanie you Americans and your labels attraction is attraction and love is love." I don't understand how someone can be bisexual but I do know several people men and woman who are. So whatever works for you do it. Always be honest with your partners and ALWAYS USE PROTECTION. But to answer the question, yes I think women do have more Sexual Fluidity.

SuSu said...

Although I am neither gay or bi, I think I can understand that one can be attracted to and equally aroused by both sexes. If you truly are attracted to both men and women, why should you have to check the box that defines you as (just) gay when that implies that you are homosexual/attracted to the same sex. Bi-sexual means what it implies, so why not apply it where applicable! ;-) As for the fluidness of bi men vs. bi women... Society has given women permission to explore and be adventurous, especially when it is done for the pleasure of a man (i.e. the very popular male fantasy: menage a trois). We are certainly not at the point where men have carte blanche to bring another dude to the party for his pleasure. Double standard? Yes... but... I'm personally ok with that double standard. I do not want my man to go down the rabbit hole with another man for the sake of fair sexual fluidity. (And likewise, I'm never dining at the Y. Never Ever. So we're good on the fluids and fluidity!)

The Cable Guy said...

I guess for me, falling in love with them as far as attraction goes is tied to sex, so if I love you, I want to have sex with you. I don't see how a man can fall in love with someone without seeing gender if sex is how you'll be intimate.

I have guy friends who I love like brothers, but I don't want to f*ck them. I can love the "person" without wanting to have sex with them. If you are a man who falls in love with a dude that you want to have sex with, then you're gay.

I agree with Nice Guy about the whole women fantasy thing, and I also believe that if a woman can eat another woman's p*ssy, she's gay. If you're straight, I don't see how you get around that. No dude can make me love him enough to be gay or bisexual. I can love the person you are, but that won't make me want to f*ck you.

Ms. Penn said...

If someone wants to label themselves as bisexual, that is their business, whether I agree with it or not. I'm not about to label anyone, I just keep my beliefs to myself. I just hope, like Stephanie said, that the man I'm dealing with is HONEST about who he is, whatever he chooses to label himself so I can make my choice accordingly. I would never date a bisexual man, so I would hope that if he chooses to label himself that way, he's secure enough within himself to tell me that's who he is.

Jaz said...

If there's a gene that makes you gay, then I'm sure there's one that can make you bisexual.

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