Monday, November 14, 2011
Hola mi gente!
This was too good not to share - Serena's heart bursts through this post :-)
My Life as a Mother...by Serena Wills
Its been a long time since posting to my blog. Between the tail end of my pregnancy being full of unpacking my new apartment, getting ready for the newest addition to the world and then giving birth I've been busy. My life has changed since Jordan was born 3 months ago...but for the better. Every time I tried to write about my life and motherhood I became stuck. Almost speechless because there aren't enough words to describe how I feel.
What helped me to get unstuck in regards to my writing was watching how short life can be. My family has lost a couple of family members and our community has lost legends. I thought to myself, what if my time was up? My son would have no recollection in writing about how I feel as a mother. So here we go...
Dearest Jordan,
You're the sunshine of my life! I never knew I could love like this until I held you for the first time in my arms. I didn't want to let go of you and when I looked into your eyes I knew there was a God! Now don't get me wrong...I know God is real. But having you confirmed that God can make people love again, He can also show adults like me that love truly exists! After your Grandma Sauti passed away I crawled into a shell...I was at a loss. I didn't think I could love again or open up because I was (and still am) hurt that she had to leave us. Then I reconnected with your father and then came you.
I loved being pregnant with you and now that you're here I love leaning over the crib to say "Good Morning" and in return I get a huge smile!
I pray to God that we have a long life together! There are so many things to show you, dreams I have, stories to tell you and things to experience through the eyes of being your mother. You're so special to me and quite a few people. You're even blessed to have (3) living great grandparents!
We're going to have fun together between taking you to African dance class (I danced with you for 8 months of my pregnancy) to running (you're already practicing with those active feet)! I want you to have a life greater than me and your father's put together! I want you to see the world with those huge eyes of yours!
Loving you is a treasure! Jordan I thank you because one of my life long dreams was to become a mother and now I have you. I love you so much.
This was too good not to share - Serena's heart bursts through this post :-)
My Life as a Mother...by Serena WillsIts been a long time since posting to my blog. Between the tail end of my pregnancy being full of unpacking my new apartment, getting ready for the newest addition to the world and then giving birth I've been busy. My life has changed since Jordan was born 3 months ago...but for the better. Every time I tried to write about my life and motherhood I became stuck. Almost speechless because there aren't enough words to describe how I feel.
What helped me to get unstuck in regards to my writing was watching how short life can be. My family has lost a couple of family members and our community has lost legends. I thought to myself, what if my time was up? My son would have no recollection in writing about how I feel as a mother. So here we go...
Dearest Jordan,
You're the sunshine of my life! I never knew I could love like this until I held you for the first time in my arms. I didn't want to let go of you and when I looked into your eyes I knew there was a God! Now don't get me wrong...I know God is real. But having you confirmed that God can make people love again, He can also show adults like me that love truly exists! After your Grandma Sauti passed away I crawled into a shell...I was at a loss. I didn't think I could love again or open up because I was (and still am) hurt that she had to leave us. Then I reconnected with your father and then came you.
I loved being pregnant with you and now that you're here I love leaning over the crib to say "Good Morning" and in return I get a huge smile!
I pray to God that we have a long life together! There are so many things to show you, dreams I have, stories to tell you and things to experience through the eyes of being your mother. You're so special to me and quite a few people. You're even blessed to have (3) living great grandparents!
We're going to have fun together between taking you to African dance class (I danced with you for 8 months of my pregnancy) to running (you're already practicing with those active feet)! I want you to have a life greater than me and your father's put together! I want you to see the world with those huge eyes of yours!
Loving you is a treasure! Jordan I thank you because one of my life long dreams was to become a mother and now I have you. I love you so much.
-Serena
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25 comments:
FIRST BEOTCHES... I had to be first on my boo's blog!
DANG IT!
Is Brooke your boo, or Serena? :) LOL!
This was so sweet. God bless you both Serena :)
Talk about pulling at your heart strings! Geesh! Anyone got some tissue!?
LOL.. they both are.. LOL
This was an AMAZING post. But I wouldn't expect anything less from her. Heck everytime she sends me a new pic of THOR (AKA Jordan) you can hear the pride beaming from her text.. It's amazing...
Serena I knew you would be an awesome mommy from the MINUTE you told me that you was pregnant. And it killed me to keep it a secret especially from Brooke cuz I was soo excited for you. Jordan is a BLESSING handpicked & sent from your mom. I have NO doubts about that. And just wait it only gets better..
These are the type of blogs that make you want to be a mommy. I know it's not for everyone, but you (And Annamaria) wear motherhood well! God bless you!
awww, so sweet! Thanks for sharing!
Awww thank you Ms. Penn... It isn't for everyone. And I respect a woman that can admit that it isn't for her over a woman that has kids just to say she did... I feel like I am a much better person since Sophia came into my life and I thank god for her every day. And NOTHING means more to me than the smile on her face when she says Mommy.. To me that is the BEST word in the english language.
Matter of fact she just stopped by my office because when my mom picked her up from school she told her that she wanted to see mommy. So she came in yelled MOMMY at the top of her lungs. Gave me a big hug & kiss. Told me she loved me & said see you later mommy. :-)
Let me ask Annamaria and Serena - how long have you known you wanted to be a mommy? Why was this one of your goals?
Brooke thank you for reposting! I posted it yesterday on my blog and have gotten so much love from peeps through Facebook and text. I woke up last week and just started writing; thanking God that everything was coming out on paper!
Thanks for the compliments everyone! Annamaria you so rock as a Mommy! Brooke you're like the Aunty of the year!!!
To those who don't want to be mothers, as Annamaria said I highly respect you! My youngest sister is adopted, she turned 22 last week. She's severely autistic because her cracked out mother had her and was strung out on drugs. She had 2 more after my sister! Sigh...no one on here is cracked out. But I give you props for realizing what God has in you.
For those that want to cry...join the club! Puffs Plus is my friend lol! Muah everyone!
I don't know an exact date but when my goddaughter Kayla was born I always said to myself I would love to be married one day and have a child. I actually want (2). I have Jordan so we'll see what God has in store for another one.
Its a natural instinct. I just always knew! Having children has been a dream of mine. Literally I've had dreams of having children. God blessed me with making my dreams come true.
Truth be told I haven't always wanted to be a mommy... LOL
I went back & forth about it for years because I knew that IF AND WHEN I did it life would stop being about me & it would be about that child. As I got into my late 20's my thinking started changing and I wanted to give that love to a child. But as most people I was like maybe after 30.. I was 5 months pregnant on my 30th birthday..lol
Honestly you will NEVER feel ready to have a child.. There will always be something you feel you need to accomplish. BUT as long as you are willing to love & guide and put that childs needs before your own then you are ready.
On Saturday after spending the day with 2 of my other favorite mommies I went to my mother's house for a family gathering. My niece was there with her daughter (age 3) who she had way to young. The little girl & Sophia were coloring and every time Sophia drew something she would come show me & I would make it a point to clap & tell her how awesome it was. My niece asked you do that EVERY time she colors.. I said I try to do it every time she does ANYTHING. My niece said I would NEVER do that, notice how mu daughter doesn't even come out here looking for attention...
Don't get me wrong sometimes I'm sick or tired and I can't do all that but I try to think of what Sophia wants & needs before my own.. And if acting like a complete nut every time she draws a circle or scribble on a piece of paper is what she needs.. Then that's what I am going to do.
Yes and for those of you that don't know Brooke personally SHE IS THE MOST AWESOME AUNTIE EVER!!!!!!!! She is a NATURAL with kids. Soso loves her very much.. Speaking of which Brooke I have a school pic of Sophia for you. I'm going to put it in the mail for you tomorrow.
Thank you!
Sometimes I wonder if I'm just meant to be a great auntie, rather than a mother. Both are/would be an honor, but sometimes I feel like I don't have that "gut" mother instinct for myself....so good question Ms. Penn :)
I love Soso too! I love all my friends' kids! But I don't love ALL kids...so does that mean I'm not meant to be a mom?
This is great. *tears* Nothing like a proud mama
@Brooke... No that doesn't mean that.. Truth be told I completely dislike most kids... LOL
Ahhh Aisha... One of my FAV mommies... Watching her with Lady C is an honor. I respect her very much. She is my go to mom for advice..LOL
As surprised as you all may be one of the mother's that I respect the most is my younger brother's BIRTH mother.
My little brother is adopted. He came to us when he was 10 days old straight from the hospital. His mother apparently from the little we know of her was addicted to crack/cocaine. She had my little brother & walked out the hospital once they asked her to fill out forms. She never left any trace of how to find her. Furthermore they said after testing him it seemed that she stopped taking drugs when she found out she was pregnant because he barely had any traces in his system.
So she not only tried to take care of him while she was pregnant..but she realized that she could never take care of him & therefore left him in a hospital where he would hopefully get a shot at life.. I honestly sometimes wish I could meet her to let her know how much I respect her for that. Because she could have taken him home, abused him & collected welfare for him. But she didn't.
Wow, that's a great story. I always wonder how a woman can give up her child for adoption, but then I realized that's the ultimate display of love - sacrificing your own selfish needs in order to give your child a shot at life, and that's what a mother does. So happy for you and your family :)
I guess my maternal insticts haven't really kicked in yet. I wonder if they ever will.
Honestly when I heard about my lil brother's mother at first I was like damn how can someone leave their baby in the hospital. But that year in particular there was a rise in kids being killed by their parents & thrown in the garbage & stuff. And my mom ALWAYS told us that she really admired & respected my lil brothers birth mother for giving him a chance at life. And now as a mother I respect and admire this lady even more. I really really wish that they could find each other one day so she can see him & know she made a good decision. And I would like to shake her hand & thank her for teaching me a big lesson about being a mom. I'm sure if she is still alive she struggles with the decision she made back then and she shouldn't.
Congrats to you again Serena. I'm so happy you've found joy in your little boy - your mom would be so proud.
I'm glad Serena's writers block is gone. She is an awesome writer and leave it to Jordan to unblock mommy's brain! :-)
Thank you Jay! I wonder what Mom would say right now :) Annamaria you're so right about Jordan unblocking my writing.
I was firmly planted on the NO KIDS train, til I started meeting all my friends' kids and my great-nephew. Now, I'm not so sure. After holding Jordan and just being around the baby boom of 2011, I'm reconsidering.
I've never met anyone that I'd want to procreate with and have in my life for the next 18+ years. I think that plays a big part also.
Jordan misses you Yolanda :) also its longer than 18 years. A long time to be connected to someone!
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