Brookey's Cafe Blog

TGIF!

I was out for 2 days and this week STILL felt long as hell! It's the weekend!

Friday Sexy Survey

1. Top or bottom?

2. Tongue or no tongue?

3. Eyes open or closed? Do you like to watch?

4. Does size matter?

5. Celebrity you'd most like to kiss?

6. At what age was your first kiss? How was it?

7. Do you have a Booty Call List? How many people are on it?

8. Ever have any same sex fantasies?

9. Do you think porn can enhance a relationship, or emotionally starve one?

10. Break-up sex is ______________

Go!

-b

Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!


Here are a few pics from my DR trip that I jacked off of other people's FB pages :-)








Great times! I wish I was back there :-)


- My awesome nephew Kyce graduated from Kindergarten this past Tuesday! Congrats to my baby!



This is my other sweet baby PRETENDING like he's graduating. He wants to be just like his big brother! This will be him NEXT year, God willing :-)

This is just them being cool :-)

How beautifully adorable is Annamaria and Austin's baby Sophia?! I just wanna squeeze her!

Yes, this seems to be the "all pics" edition of Random Thoughts Thursday :-)

- I'm meeting my cousin Kristin today for the first time as an adult. The last time I laid eyes on her, I think she was 5 years old. I'm SO EXCITED to see her tonight!

- Why does everyone want President Obama to get "mad"? The minute he does some "ass kicking," they call him "street" and say, "Oh yes, he's really Black" - as if getting "mad" is the equivalent of being Black. Pure f*ckery.

- Calling all DADS!!! I'm looking for guest bloggers for Father's Day week! I already have a blog from D. Murray...so who's next? Like last year, I want to post blogs from fathers who tell us in their own words what it means to them to be a dad. I feel that most fathers don't get the shine they deserve, so I want to spotlight you all on my blog. So Powerz, Dre, E. Payne, DMoe, Floyd (new dad!), Cable Dude - let's hear it!

- Sherri Sheppard is wearing her hair all "Snooki" on The View today. She's a buffoon.

- Usher is performing on The View though, so that makes me feel better :-) He's still so sexy to me. O.M.G.! There goes my baby! ;-)

- Deebo worked us good last night...I needed that workout in the worst way! Now I just need to get my diet plan back on track.

- I smell good today :-) I never think to spritz myself with perfume, but today I did...I need to do it more often...just for me.

- My hair is getting fuzzy. Time to take the braids out.

- I'm paying off 3 credit cards today....YEAH!

- I hope to have a fun summer. I want to be out and about and do EVERYTHING!

- Annamaria is having a Pleasure Party this weekend. I plan on getting a whole bunch of goodies ;-)

- Brian's Random Thoughts Thursday Throwback!

- Speaking of Brian, he has a favor to ask! He works for a marketing agency and needs 100 people to take this survey on dental health. I completed the survey and it took me 10 minutes to do. It's easy and it would help him out a great deal! The survey is intended for African American women ages 23-30 - but all are invited to take it! If you fall within that demo, please complete the survey - feel free to forward to all of your friends who also fall within that demographic. The survey needs to be completed by Friday at 11am. It would mean a lot if you could take a few minutes to help him out. Thanks so much!


Go!

-b

This is just wrong on SO many levels....WTF??

Discuss amongst yourselves...I'll be back tomorrow for Random Thoughts Thursday!

-b

Happy Monday!

I'm out of the office today, and Rameer is my guest blogger - so this is the ONLY reason I have ANYTHING Kobe related on my blog today. While I admittedly am not his biggest fan, I have nothing against the Lakers. I couldn't care less who wins, and both teams are worthy - but I've said I feel the Lakers will take it...and Rameer can articulate why. So with that said...

The Top 10 Reasons The Lakers Will Beat The Celtics...by Rameer Green.

I'm writing this after Game 1 - and this series will more than likely be a long, hard-fought series. But allow me to infuse y'all with some reality amongst all the hate, hype and hyperbole...

1. THE PHIL FACTOR. I don't know what's up with people not wanting to admit this man is a basketball genius, but you don't get 10 rings being a "decent" coach. Oh, people like to say "Well, he had Jordan AND Kobe" - and? Other coaches have had greats - West, Bird, Kareem, Dr. J, Magic, Moses, etc. - the only one I see in Phil's neighborhood is Red Auerbach. No one disavows HIS coaching skill, now do they?

You still gotta WIN GAMES. And Phil is a master at getting the best out of talent. What other coach would have Shannon Brown as a key contributor? The same Shannon Brown who couldn't make Cleveland's roster (yes, with LeBron) and couldn't get any time for the Charlotte Bobcats?

And his mind games are so smooth...witness Game 1. Leading up to the game, all he talked about was how intense and tough the Celts would be. So what happens? The refs call the game UBER-tight, the Celts tone down their usual intense, tough, physical gameplay, and it's THE LAKERS who come out trying to chump fools! Classic Phil - he set that thing up all week with his comments. Even Doc Rivers couldn't believe how soft his tough guys played...but he fell for it too. Sitting Kendrick Perkins down for long stretches even though he wasn't in foul trouble so he didn't get another possible tech...

Phil is the man. Oh - and for those who don't know - he's 47-0 all-time in series that he's won game 1. Sort of like last night...

2. HOME COURT ADVANTAGE. Funny how people like to ignore it when it doesn't favor their team or the team they're rooting for. Truth is this - the Lakers are overwhelmingly good at home, haven't lost at home in the playoffs in 2010, and are 28-3 at home over the past 3 seasons.

Um...yeah.

3. PAU GASOL. Seriously...I think the majority of these fail monkeys don't watch any games, just ESPN highlights. Everyone wants to make it Kobe vs. the Big Three, but there's a very good reason all the experts and analysts keep using the term "best big man in the game" in relation to dude. While I don't agree (I'd put him #2 next to a healthy Tim Duncan), he is truly an awesome force. And yes, he's EQUIVALENT to Kevin Garnett. Garnett is a great player, but he's living off of past reputation at this point - Gasol can get you just as many rebounds, points and blocks - and is a better passer. So really, it's more like The Big Three vs. The Big Two.

4. RON RON PHENOMENON. Have you people forgotten this guy is a former All-Star and former defensive player of the year? Apparently so. IDIOTS (and yes, I'm calling you such if you believed this) stupidly said getting Artest over Trevor Ariza wasn't a good move. Considering it allowed Kobe Bryant to not have to guard the other team's best guard/forward for the first time in over a decade, I'd say it was an EXCELLENT move. And, he's the only dude in the NBA who could possibly intimidate the entire Celtics frontline. Cuz everybody knows - Ron Ron might really flip on you if you test him the wrong way.

Besides - his insistence on mentioning Queensbridge in EVERY PLAYOFF INTERVIEW HE DOES is the funniest, most hood thing I may have ever seen in the NBA Playoffs.

5. THE WOMEN FACTOR. Now, some of you won't like this. Some will say it's sexist, chauvinist, whatever. But it's TRUE, and I don't care...

Whomever a majority of women are cheering for almost never wins in the NBA.

Why? Cuz for every woman I know who knows her ish and can actually offer up good basketball analysis (some of whom are tagged in this note), there are 15 MORE who are rooting for a team because a player is cute, they like the uniform colors, they don't like the opposing team's player, etc. Nothing remotely rational or reasonable for why they "think" a team is going to win - and just cuz you WANT something to happen doesn't mean it WILL. But women seem to forget this for some odd reason.

Fact remains - in my entire life, whenever I see a majority of women cheering for one team over the other...the team they're cheering for RARELY wins. In 2008, most women I know didn't care...now they all care and want the Celts to win?

Thanks for the nail in the coffin, ladies.

6. CONVENIENT AMNESIA. This is what A LOT of people have at this time of year. After the Lakers won last year - and this is a FACT - the entire NBA reacted to trying to match up to beat them. Orlando went and got Vince Carter to have a go-to guard and closer since Hedo Turkoglu wasn't that guy; they also got Brandon Bass and re-signed Martin Gortat to match the Lakers' size. The Cavs grabbed Shaq and brought Jamison in to beat the Magic IN ORDER to get to the Lakers and their size - and had 5 big men to prove it. Boston grabbed Rasheed to have ANOTHER big man to go along KG, Perkins and Davis. Phoenix, Dallas, Miami, Portland, Houston, New Orleans, etc. - it was no secret that teams all made moves to try to keep up with them.

Why would all these teams make roster moves to compete with ONE TEAM? Cuz that team is the obvious #1 team in the league. Don't believe me? - go read some ESPN articles quoting your favorite team's GM.

7. THE REVENGE FACTOR. The Lakers and their fans live for rivalries. The biggest rivalry in all of pro sports - the only one comparable is Yankees-Red Sox - is Lakers-Celtics. And nothing hurts more than losing to them. The entire organization is hell-bent on extracting revenge. Don't let the nice quotes fool you - they want BLOOD.

8. THE BAD GUY FACTOR - Duke basketball. The Dallas Cowboys. NY Yankees. And yes, the L.A. Lakers. These teams are HATED by many. Why? Cuz historically, they WIN. And losers HATE winners. Which is why these teams have so many haters - many people have teams that are nowhere near as successful, and can't stand the teams that are good every year - cuz they wish their team could be that way. Likewise, many people have a subconscious loser's mentality - I'll break that down another day.

But the hated teams are watched by EVERYONE. The people that love them want to see them win; the people that hate them want to watch them lose. In order to maintain your standing as an ultimate Bad Guy Team, you simply have to do one thing - keep winning.

All of the teams I mentioned do that WELL - year in and year out.

9. THE KOBE FACTOR. I saved this one until near the end. I don't care why some of you hate him. It's nonsensical. "He's too cocky/arrogant" - so is every other great player in most sports. By actions and words, LeBron James has proven himself to be much worse than Kobe...but gets nowhere near as much criticism cuz he has cool commercials.

And let me just put it on blast - many Black women still have issues - whether subconscious or conscious - with him marrying a non-Black woman and/or getting caught up with a *white girl* in Colorado. I could care less about their racial hang-ups.

No, this is about people trying to invent reasons every year to discredit one of the 5 greatest players to EVER play the game every year. But the great thing is, haters actually validate his greatness with their need to try to say someone's better. Don't believe me? Here's a list of players who at one time were said to be better than Kobe...and none of them have ever proven themselves to BE better:

Penny Hardaway, Scottie Pippen, Grant Hill, Vince Carter, Tracy McGrady, Chris Paul, Lebron James, Paul Pierce, Michael Finley, D.Wade, Ray Allen, Kerry Kittles.

The only dude who is his peer is Tim Duncan. This dude is the greatest player of his generation. The only dude you can seriously compare him to is Jordan - and it doesn't even matter if he's better. The point is - this dude is so good you don't even THINK to mention Magic, Bird, Dr. J, etc. when putting him in historical context?!?

Hate him all you want. He's THE BUSINESS. And every NBA player freely admits it - past and present. Do you haters really think EVERY PLAYER AND COACH IS LYING? ALL THESE YEARS??

Respect greatness. Chumps.

10. THE RAMEER FACTOR. Oh, you didn't think I'd leave MYSELF out of this, did you? Lmao...fact is, since I've been a young adult - I'd say from 17 and on - my closest family and friends know one thing for certain about me - I'm usually right when it comes to sports I watch. And if I don't know or don't have a good idea, I don't offer my opinion. No, I'm not right all the time - no one is. But my Dad freely admits - as he puts it - I "know my ish." He freely takes my words, adopts my predictions and says them to his friends, and laughs at them when he's right. I especially tend to pick the NFL, NBA and college football right. Used to be college basketball, but I haven't been that good in the past 3 years...but basically, since I actually am a stat nerd, analyze stuff to the most minute detail, and actually WATCH THE GAMES regularly...I will confidently say (cuz history bears out that it's true) that I'm right way more than the average fan/viewer, and that I tend to be right way more than even most experts. And I NAME the experts that are usually better than me at making picks (Kenny Smith on TNT may get clowned, but that dude knows his ISH).

I'll never let it be forgotten I called the New Orleans Saints out as this year's Super Bowl Champions before any team even played a single preseason game. My girl Juanita ran with that pick all year as soon as I made it, and wound up looking like a GENIUS to all her male friends down in DC. They have no idea she simply listened to me and acted like it was her own pick.

And yes - I've won A LOT of money off of people due to this. Which is why I can't get anyone close to me to bet me any more. Oh - and I'll freely admit I was wrong in 2008 - I couldn't foresee the Celtics chumping Gasol and Odom like that.

There you have it. For the record - for those who don't know - I PREDICTED Lakers-Celtics before the season began, once Boston signed Rasheed Wallace. And, I predicted Lakers in 7 back then...and I stand by my prediction. Now, I may not be right on the number of games - but I'm pretty sure I'll be right on the eventual winner.

And you'll know when I'm right - cuz you'll regret the day you opened your mouth and told me I'd be WRONG. No one rubs it in like the god.

So, to all Celtics fans - go drown your sorrows in some Lucky Charms or somethin'. To all Kobe haters - keep it up. Remember - He *loves* you.

-Rameer

TGIF!!!

I got that title from our very own AnnaJolia today. I didn't have a clue as to what I was gonna blog about - and I spent the entire morning messing around on email with her and my future baby daddy instead of thinking of a topic...until she said that. So thank you Annamaria!

So with that, here is a list of things I feel everyone should know before they bone.

1. You should know if the other person is married or not. Now, if you don't care, then you can just skip to number 2. But if you DO care, then finding out a person's marital status is important if you're not trying to be Alicia Ke...I mean, a home wrecker :-) (just jokes...kinda...)

2. You should know the other person's STD status. As uncomfortable as it may be, you have to ask. Telling the person YOUR status first is a good way to get them to tell you theirs. Say something like, "I just want you to know before we get down that all my tests were negative the last time I went to the doctor, so I just wanted to give you that assurance. When was the last time you got tested?" If they seem hesitant to tell you, then that means their dirty azz probably hasn't gone in a while, or they just got done hittin' somebody else raw and they're not sure...or they don't care. Sexual health should be important to everyone, and if someone gives you the impression that it's not important to HIM/HER, then RUN! FAST!

3. You should know what kind of protection you'll be using and who will be providing it. Don't assume that he's gonna bring something, or that she's on the pill. The worst thing is getting all hot and heavy and then no one has anything and you have to put your passion on ice. Or even worse, you make a bad decision in the heat of the moment to not use protection simply because it's not available. Have the talk about birth control before you get butt nekkid so that no one winds up burning or knocked up.

4. This may sound obvious, but you should know how to have an orgasm before you have sex. Hear me out. The reason I say this is because so many women don't know their own bodies or what pleases them, so they don't know how to tell someone else how to please them. If you're having sex with someone for the first time, chances are he doesn't know that your spot is right behind your left ear. He may not know that you don't like fingers, or that you like it slow and sensual instead of fast and furious. If you don't know how to please yourself, how can he? Same goes for men. Tell her what gets you off. You'd be surprised how many people have sex just to have it without actually enjoying it...all because they never took the time to explore their own bodies. It's important to know what feels good to you before you can show another person what feels good to you.

5. Lastly, this is a no-brainer to most of us - but you should know your partner before you have sex. Now, again...if all you're looking for is a one night stand, then this is the end of the blog post for you. But if not, then it helps to know if the man or woman you're about to get busy with is crazy, a homicidal maniac, bi-polar, schizo, has a history of mental illness in his family, is an ax murderer, a jailbird, GAY, broke, slept with your sister, has kids, a job, hypertension, 11 fingers, allergies to fish, a crazy baby mama or daddy, all his teeth, etc. You'd be surprised how many people rush to have sex with someone ONLY to find out that they did a bid in the joint for armed robbery AFTER the fact. Do your research and ask questions FIRST...then get booty butt nekkid :-)

Feel free to add yours - Go!

Have a great weekend and I'll see you all on Wednesday (unless someone wants to guest blog for me Monday and Tuesday....jus sayin)

-b

Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!

- I had a GREAT time in DR! I miss Denise and Martha already :-(

- So sad to be back :-(

- I'm a chocolate drop right about now....owwww!

- Did I mention I'm sad to be back at work? :-(

- I'm swimming in emails instead of the ocean....sigh.

- I wanna go on vacation again.

- I didn't take ONE picture while in DR. I'm just gonna steal them off of Facebook like I did last year :-)

- Was sad to hear about Gary Coleman and Dennis Hopper. RIP.

- I miss my family...including my cat. I can't wait to see them this weekend!

- My baby Kyce graduates from kindergarten next Tuesday! I'm so proud of him!

- I will be out again on Monday and Tuesday, so I'm taking applications for guest bloggers :)

- I have a huge bruise on my arm from playing football in the pool. Those mofo's were cheating! And so violent! Loved every minute of it though. And my arms were KILLING me yesterday!

- I worked out in DR - did Zumba AND went to the gym...I'm proud of myself! I gained 2 lbs while I was there between all the food and drinking, etc. but I can knock that out in a week. We have Deebo tonight and I'm actually looking forward to it!

- I'm so glad the summer is here!

- Thank you for all the well wishes and prayers for safe travels over the weekend. That means so much to me - you all are so awesome!

- Did I mention I hate that I'm back at work today? :-)

- And now for Brian's RTT Throwback joint:



Go!

-b

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