Brookey's Cafe Blog

First let me say - HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNAMARIA!

Okay...now we can go into the Dear Brookey letter for today :-)

Dear Brookey,

I was seeing someone for a few months, then she said she wanted to work things out with her ex...then she called me and said she doesn't know what she wants. So we're "friends with benefits" right now, but I have feelings for her. I know she probably doesn't feel the same way, so with that said, should I see if this goes further or just end it altogether?? I mean, the "benefits" part is great, but I really like her and I want to settle down again. I really cherish our friendship but I want more than just a friendship with her. I just don't want to waste my time, and if I start seeing someone else, I don't want to feel like I'm cheating on her. I'm anxious to see how people respond. Thanks!

-Jason

Dear Jason,

If you suspect she doesn't feel the same way about you that you do about her, I'd end it. She seems confused, and if you have feelings for her, it'll just get messy...and you'll get hurt.

Most people in a "friends with benefits" type of relationship enter into it knowing that at some point, things will come to an end. Either that or someone hopes the relationship will blossom into a full blown romance.

But that rarely happens.

One person catches feelings, and the other person gets their feelings hurt. Not always, but most times that's how the story will end unless you have set "rules" in place.

Since you are the one that caught feelings, the friendship will have to take a backseat for a while until you get over her. Cold turkey...done.

It's better to do it sooner rather than let it linger. The more you draw it out, the more difficult it'll be to nurse your wounded heart later. Start the healing process now and it'll be less painful.

She's still hung up on her ex. Not to sound sexist, but usually women are the ones who hope that the "friends with benefits" relationship turns into something more...yet it sounds like she's retreating. If she was really into you the way you are with her, she'd jump at the chance to get serious with you. But she's trying to figure things out, or have her cake and eat it to - which if course would be unfair to you.

I'd tell her that you want to cool it for a while til she gets herself together. If she's truly meant for you, it'll happen...with no confusion or uncertainty. Until then, start seeing other people. You may find that when you remove sex from the equation, your feelings for her may not be what you thought they were. Sex can confuse things, so see what it's like to be away from her for a minute and see how you feel. And the time away may be good for her too to get some clarity.

Try it...give a month...one day at a time and let me know how it goes.

What say you blog family?

Go!

Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!

- It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood!

- I think I'm the only person on the planet who has no idea what Hunger Games is about. Guess I should read the book. It's a book right?

- Do any of you watch LaLa's Full Court Life? I missed it, but here's a question spawned from that show (and the Breakfast Club on Power 105 here in the NYC) - would you allow your mate to cheat if you could pick the person he/she would cheat with?

- My answer is no...just so we're clear about that. But to each his/her own :-)

- Can't wait to each lunch outside with Monica and Princess!

- Is Grey's and Private Practice new tonight? I missed both last week...dang it!

- Go 'Cuse!

- The Jeremy Kyle Show is my new guilty pleasure. That Brit be lettin' 'em have it!

- I'm having a Snapple today. I've decided. Gonna drink my green juice first though.

- Can't wait til I can wear flip flops every day!

- I need some more perfume. Chance by Chanel in case anyone is reading this ;-) I think that's what it's called. Love it!

- I'm so hungry!

- Spinning tonight even though I have a little cold. No pain no gain!

- If you're in the NYC area, come get your Zumba on for a good cause! Annamaria's Mission 2 Mentor, Inc. is hosting a Zumbathon Charity Event this Saturday, March 24th to raise funds for the Mission 2 Mentor program. It will begin at 3pm at Brooklyn Launchpad located at 721 Franklin Ave Brooklyn NY, 11238. Admission is $10 and all proceeds will go towards the Mission 2 Mentor, Inc program. They will also have raffles, door prizes and more! I'll be there, and I hope to see you all there too!

- DMoe must be beside himself with all this stuff going on with the Saints. I don't think the punishment was too harsh though. This bounty thing is ridiculous.

- Tim Tebow with the Jets....thoughts?

- I need a spa day. And a mani/pedi...badly!

- This week's throwback! Feel good song!



Go!

-b

Mutual Funds: What and Why?...by Austin the Realtor

Hello All,

Now, on to some investing information that can be helpful. I’m sure many, if not all, of you heard of the stock market - buy low and sell high, IPO, Dow Jones, Nasdaq and many other investing related terms. There are even movies that touch on this fast paced world; “Wall Street 1 and 2”, “Trading Places” and “Boiler Room.” But how can all this information help you? You probably already invest but may not know what you invest IN.

Today we are talking Mutual Funds. The 2 most popular vehicles in which mutual funds are utilized are your retirement through your job (401k or 403b) and 529 Plans for college savings.

Definition of Mutual Fund:

- An investment vehicle that is made up of a pool of funds collected from many investors for the purpose of investing in securities such as stocks, bonds, money market instruments and similar assets. Mutual funds are operated by money managers who invest the fund's capital and attempt to produce capital gains and income for the fund's investors. A mutual fund's portfolio is structured and maintained to match the investment objectives stated in its prospectus.

Read more: http://www.investopedia.com/terms/m/mutualfund.asp#ixzz1lEYbdak9

This means you have the opportunity to invest in many big name companies with as little as $25 a month. You choose a mutual fund based on its objective: Capital Appreciation (hope the value goes up at the risk of it going down), Preservation of Capital (hope the value goes up but without risking too much of what I put in), or Income Based (pay dividends without my investment moving much).

Your decision would be based on your goal and “suitability.” This means if you are 65 and retired, you wouldn’t invest in a mutual fund where you risk your investment. You may be more looking at Income Based to save your money and receive dividends.

For the most part, mutual funds are long term investments - usually for 5-10 years out or more such as college (529 plans) or retirement. The good thing is that it is managed by a professional portfolio manager so you don’t have to sit in front of your TV watching the Dow deciding when to buy and sell. That’s his job.

Last Note:
401k or 403b – if your job offers it, participate. Some jobs match your contribution. These are pre-tax funds so you lower your taxable income. The intent is that when you retire, you are in a lower tax bracket so you will be taxed less when you withdraw - plus it’s invested over time.

529 Plans – start now for your children. Depending on the state, the earnings are tax free. Plus, it’s transferable to other children. Lastly, you can use it for yourself for higher education expenses. Google: 529 Plan and your state for more info.

Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!

- Cramps are a KILLER today! I know that's oversharing, but we missed TMI Tuesday. Damn you Fury!

- No idea what to eat for lunch today.

- Nothing on tv.

- I know the weather has be lovely lately, but my office doesn't have to put the AC on blast every time we hit 68 degrees. I shouldn't have to go outside to warm up in March.

- Seeing my family this weekend, yay! I miss them!

- My nephew Kyce wrote me a letter and is mailing it to me - I can't wait to get it! I wrote him one too. It's the little things :-)

- I love that Serena misses my blogs...that makes me feel special :-)

- Check out my articles on Madamenoire.com as well! A sista be busy!

- I cut my hair even shorter last weekend - getting used to this natural hair.

- Anybody have any ideas on love and relationship articles? I have a touch of writer's block again :-(

- Here's a question - for those of you who are single but dating - if you HAD to choose between marrying the person you're currently dating, or breaking up with him/her never to see them again, which would you choose? No in between....

- They're talking about the Duggar's on The View - how does ANY woman bear 20 children?! No multiples, 20 INDIVIDUAL children??? Ouch!

- Whoopi makes me laugh. Sherri makes me cringe.

- I want a cute wrap dress.

- My lips are dry, I must be dehydrated. Going to get water before my meeting.

- This week's throwback!



-b

Happy Hump Day!

Speaking of humping and whatnot, I have a question of the day.

Me and the boo thang were having a discussion about "whoredom"...pronounced "ho-dum." LOL! I'm sure it's not a word, but let's pretend it is for the sake of this conversation.

Anyway, he said if a woman has had sex with about 8 men, 10 tops, she...in most men's eyes...would be considered a ho. He says it's not right, but that's the world we live in.

So of course I ask - "What number of partners would a man have to have in order for HIM to be considered a ho?"

His response?

No such number exists. Men aren't, or can't be, considered ho's because it's in their nature to bed as many women as possible. Women, on the other hand, are not "built" that way...so bedding a lot of men goes again nature, and therefore makes them a "ho."

I think most of you can guess my position on this - double standard. And I DO believe there is a number that even a man can reach that will get him the side eye. Think Wilt Chamberlain. Even if his 20,000 conquests is exaggerated, even a FRACTION of that number would land him in the Ho Hall of Fame.

So what say you? Can a man be a ho? And if so, what number of partners do you think would deem a man (or a woman) a ho - in YOUR opinion. It's all relative, so I'm curious to read your answers.

Let's go!

-b

Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!

- My entire body is on fire! This "Club Strength" class Monica and I took was a killer! I'm definitely feeling it 2 days later, but it's a "good" pain. Gotta keep it up!

- It didn't help that my body was sore as I tossed and turned all night. Saw two flicks last night - Project X (HILARIOUS!) and The Grey - which traumatized me...thus why I was tossing and turning all night with bad dreams. My new fear? Wolves.

- ...oh, and slamming into trees as I drop to my death. That movie was NOT cool.

- I feel like I need to see The Lorax to bring my spirits back up!

- It's March already? Is it me, or is time flying??!! It'll be Spring soon! Not that we had much of a winter, but I'm SO not complaining.

- I want something REALLY good for lunch. Any suggestions?

- My juicer is the bomb - had a strawberry, banana and pineapple smoothie for breakfast! Yum! Thanks babe!

- Not really excited about the new cast of Dancing with the Stars. Especially not Sherri Sheppard's clown ass.

- I think I'm officially over the Basketball Wives.

- Kobe in a face mask - ha ha!

- Angelina Jolie needs to either get a tan or eat a sandwich. That "leg" could use some meat on it, but you can't be pale AND stick thin. Gorgeous face...but jeez!

- I'm still celebrating my birthday in case anyone wants to hang :-) I should celebrate the entire year as it's the last one in my 30's. Let's get it!

- I'm still 27 years old in my head. Not sure why 27 is the year I choose to be in my head, it just is.

- Is Dmoe back from all of his festivities?

- I either love or hate Nancy Grace. Sometimes she irks the ish out of me, or cracks me up.

- My hair is growing, not sure what my next move should be - to keep it short throughout the summer, or let my coils grow and see what they do.

- I need a jacuzzi and a sauna!

The throwback!



-b