Thursday, January 21, 2010

Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!

- Please continue to keep Haiti in your prayers. It's no where near over, and they have a ways to go. Have you given all that you can? If not, donate today.

- Oprah's show on Haiti yesterday was great. Wyclef, Rihanna and my (and Yolanda's) boo Maxwell were her guests. Wyclef showed his own footage of what he witnessed in Haiti - it was heartbreaking. He called it an apocalypse. But through it all, they still have hope. We all do.

- If you download either of the songs performed by Rihanna (her cover of Bob Marley's "Redemption Song") or Maxwell's "Fistful of Tears", 100% of the proceeds will go to Hope For Haiti Now.

- Speaking of Wyclef and the controversy surrounding his Yele Organization, I find it interesting that there was PROOF that the Red Cross didn't get donations to the victims of the tsunami in Asia or the victims of Hurricane Katrina and that they're STILL waiting on aid to get to them (a lot of money unaccounted for) YET we are still asking people to donate through the Red Cross for Haiti. Meanwhile, they're now questioning Wyclef about the handling of HIS organization - the organization he started with his own money. We should look into corruption everywhere, but let's think about that. Wyclef was there in Haiti trying to help his countrymen YEARS before the earthquake hit. Yele isn't a relief organization - it's been there doing its part trying to build Haiti up. I think some are just amazed that he was able to raise as much as he did in such a small amount of time...through text donations no less - and want to throw salt. Just my opinion.

- I hate writing my self evaluation for work...especially since they already know what % raise they’re going to give us. Can’t I just write “ditto what I wrote last year” and just leave it at that?

-I need to stop complaining and just write the dang thing. I’m grateful to have a job to write a self evaluation for. And to even get a raise. Thank you God.

- What is your greatest fear?

- Yesterday, Monica and I did a spin class and we had a "singing instructor." He was in his own world singing to our workout tunes. Good music though! That class was a killer! And he didn't even spin WITH us. Just told us what to do. Nice.

- I know this may be nitpicky, but I can’t STAND when people type “gud” for “good”, “wut” for “what”, “da” for “the”, and “n” for “and” in shorthand on IM or email. While I get that they may be texting and trying to save on characters, it looks ridiculous to me - and in most cases I find actually typing out the whole word requires only one extra character and won’t take you over the limit anyway. As I read these words, I hear them in my head and it just makes me think the person is illiterate. I know...a bit extra - but it drives me nuts!

- Last night on Wendy Williams, she said she was wearing a size 4 skirt. Her breasts and big hair make her look bigger than a size 4, but she does have narrow hips. She looked like she was about to topple over. Love her though :-)

- Halle Berry was STUNNING at the Golden Globes this past Sunday!

- I like Sandra Bullock, but there is no way she should have won over Gabby Sidibe. Who she appears to be in real life vs. Precious is like night and day. Congrats to Sandra Bullock though - she's cool :-)

- I think I'm still the only person who hasn't seen Avatar. Maybe this weekend.

- When people show you who they are, believe them.




THATgirl said...


THATgirl said...

-Today is my first day back to work since Friday. I'm so looking forward to Friday again.

-I don't know how people with curly hair manage. I'm wearing my hair curly right now--and its pure, it just grows and grows, the further from water it gets.

-I'm seeing a nice guy...and I'm beginning to think that nice guys do finish last. I'm just not feeling him like that.

-I feel "off" today. I dunno why.

-I'll probably be back later with more random thoughts. I'm gonna take a powernap.

Brooke said...

Why aren't you feeling him Thatgirl?

IS there a such thing as "too nice"? I never really got that.

Nice doesn't equal "pushover" or "weak" by the way - but I think most women believe it does. Sad.

I ate breakfast today, now I'm hungry again.

Jay said...

It seems I have to write another blog about bitchass men for Brooke, especially since she seems to be have a lot of them around her :-)

Let the losers in life go...especially married men who cheat on their wives. Total faggots if you ask me.

Good men don’t have to say that they are, pat themselves on the back or constantly say good things about themselves. Their actions speak for themselves. And if it talks like a bitchass and walks like a bitchass, then guess what? – he’s a bitchass.

Words without actions don’t mean anything, especially when they’re not in concert with each other.

Know which bridges to cross, and which ones to burn.

Don’t make someone a priority who only considers you an option. Know your worth.

The “man” is trying to take Wyclef DOWN.

I need it to be summer. Now.

Brooke, I'll take you to see Avatar. It's worth seeing again.

Stef said...


You are the man! I love you, and I hope Brooke takes you up on your offer. Too many punk ass men out here in the world, and I'll gladly forward your next blog on bitchassness to them to read!


I'm with Brooke, why aren't you feeling him?

I wish I could take a power nap right about now.

Oprah was great yesterday! I'll be downloading those songs today to do my part.

Maxwell is yummy!

I need a vacation.

I wanna throw Elizabeth from the View off a bridge. She's a pain in the ass!

They did Conan wrong, but he's laughing all the way to the bank!

Brooke said...

Serena, if you're around, let me know what's up with the Wine Bar this Saturday - I need details!!! :-)

Jaz said...

John Edwards is an asshole. How do you deny your own child? I know he's a politician, but still. That's wack.

Ever since Brooke and Rameer and everyone else talked about Cream of Wheat, I've wanted some, yet I can't seem to find it!

January is flying by.

I don't want it to snow for a very long time.

Jay, you hit the nail on the head, too many bitchass men around posing as REAL men. F*ck em all!

I hate that the news calls the Haitian people "refugees." How can they be "refugees" in their own land/home. Am I reading the definition of "refugee" wrong? I just think it's disrespectful.

They need to leave Wyclef alone. He cares more for Haiti then ANY of these organizations. He carried dead bodies and wanna question if he took money? That's crazy.

Brooke said...

Everyone and they mama knew that child was his - he wasn't fooling anyone. Denying a child, no matter who you are, is straight bitchassness.

No Cream of Wheat this morning, I had cinnamon raisin toast instead.

Jay, you can write that blog ANY day. And thanks for the movie offer.

There are alot of movies I still have to see - I'm behind.

Still trying to figure out what to do for my birthday.

Yolanda said...

-The Haiti coverage is already starting to lessen. Keep it in the news!

-Mah boo is the truth!

-Rihanna should never sing that song again. Bob is not pleased.

-Alonzo Mourning is the man! He plans to return to Haiti on a regular basis. That's one stand up dude. And married to the same woman for YEARS! I love it.

-I love Wendy Williams. I think people who tend to hate her are recalling her days in radio where she was more venomous. On TV... it's a different story. She keeps it honest about things most celebs prefer to give you smoke & mirrors about. I appreciate that.

-I went to the doctor yesterday. According to him, I must a tub o'lard. I'm going to eat when I'm hungry dammit. I'm not eating Big Macs. Damn. I'd be a golf club if I was the size he recommends. Geez.

-My manager is in town this week. Part of me wants to chuck the deuces in a real Dynasty walk-off-the-set style scene. Then I remember, I got bills.

-Speaking of bills... I ordered shoes from Zappos that disappeared from my door. I am HEATED! They were fly shoes too!

-I'm designing my website today. Yay! Operation new job/build a business is in effect.

-I'm happy purple is the new black. What took people so long?

-I haven't seen Avatar yet either. I'm not really too motivated to see it. I did enjoy The Book of Eli though.

-I'm working with kids again, starting next weekend. Pray for me. They say some real outlandishness.

-I HATE text slang. Do phone companies still charge for characters?

-I type full words when I text.

-I'd totally marry Halle Berry... if I was into that sort of thing. You know, carpet.

Annamaria said...

@THATgirl...If you ain't feeling him like that then let him go..If he's really a nice guy he doesn't need you wasting his time. Let him go find a woman that is feeling him like that.. You may want to take a minute to ask yourself why you aren't feeling him...Is it really because he's nice??

@Jay: Tell us how you feel man...LOL

Here are my random thoughts:

1.Started to work out.. I hate it but it MUST be

2. Got an inside tip on another part time job...That means I will be working 2 part time jobs & taking care of the baby.. gotta do what a sister's gotta do...

3. I guess this all means I have to give up trying to be #1 every day! lol....

4. AVATAR was really good Brooke..Let Jay take you...Although the price of those 3D movie tickets ain't no joke soo you might have to let him feel something...LOL

5. Halle Berry looks absolutely STUNNING in that pic...I'm going to print it out to motivate me to keep on working out..

6. I have to catch yesterdays Oprah. I have it on DVR...I must say I was a lil disappointed on the last segment she did on Friday about Haiti...

7. I'm taking lil boo on vacation. This time next week Sophia & I will be on a plane on our way to sunny San Juan, PR... She looks SOOOOOO stinking cute in her lil bathing suit...I wanna slap

8. We gonna miss daddy though... :(

9. The only 5 minutes I have to myself I use to comment on the blog...See how much I love you Brooke..

10. Went on my first double date since having the baby on Monday...It was nice... Went with my boo & geeque & his
(how weird is it to call people by their blog

11. I am completely heartbroken over the situation in Haiti...I wish I could become a DR overnight so I can go help them.. sooo sad


Annamaria said...

13. I love Wendy also..Just ordered Wendy tickets! Hopefully they will come thru.

14. I don't like Chris Christie..He reminds me of a pig. And strikes me as an asshole & a pervert.

Annamaria said...

15. On the news this morning they showed footage of rescue workers in Haiti pulling a lil boy out the rubble (sp?). When they pulled him out he raised his arms way in the air! It was beautiful to see him smile.. I cried..They were able to pull his 10 year old sister out alive also.. Unfortunately they lost 2 other siblings

Serena W. said...

I am around! Happy RTT!

Brooke I'm waiting for details from my girl RiShana. She's setting it up but we are meeting at 9pm and it's in Sunnyside Queens. Stay tuned.

They need to leave Wyclef alone!

So excited about Mo'Nique winning a Golden Globe!

This has been a challenging week for me at work. But I'm thankful for a job. Just gotta think it's a contract!

And thankfully I have a door to close!

Celebrated 35 years on Saturday! Happy Belated Birthday to me!

Had a fabulous time!!!! Loved every moment of my weekend.

Ran 12 miles on Saturday as well for my marathon training!

Please, please, please donate! I'm up too $1,315! (Just $585 more to go)!!!! You can click on

Never mind the $275 that's posted on there, I switched marathons and they have yet to switch my loot over (sigh).

I'm kinda digging this dude, but we'll see.

He seems "nice" and I like that about him ;)

Yolanda is soooo right, Alonzo Mourning is the man! He's doing so much for the Haiti Relief Efforts.

Is it wrong that I'm not picking up my phone while I'm blogging?

I need some time to myself.

Getting compliments on the runner's body (holla)! Gotta give props to African Dancing and eating right!!!!

Anywho...back to work. I'll try to tune in again.

Serena W. said...

Lastly...I wish I could go to Miami this weekend to celebrate Zay Buge's bday! I soooooooo need a vacation!

Brooke said...

I love you too Annamaria, thank you for using your free time to check me out! MUAH!!!

I wanna go to PR :-(

Yolanda, purple is my favorite color, so I'm right there with you!

I enjoyed The Book of Eli too, saw it last weekend. More to go!

I have a Zappos gift certificate to use, but the boots I want are on back order. I'm being patient.

I'd be knockin on all my neighbors doors Yolanda if that was me - I'd be heated too!

3D Imax tickets are a bit steep for a movie - should I pimp myself out to see Avatar (and dare order popcorn and M&Ms?) LOL!

Happy Birthday again Serena, and congrats on the 12 miles. I'll get day.

I wanna go to Miami for Zay's bday too...I need to feel HEAT!

At least it's sunny today.

I can't wait to meet Serena this weekend!

Jay said...


Brooke doesn't have to let me feel her up, I got her...she's worth the price of admission :)

I think she's one of the most amazing women I've ever met :)

John Edwards? Yep...bitchassness.

I can't stand text slang either. Who said that was cute?

Happy Belated Serena! I'm glad you two will finally get to meet! Some amazing women on this blog.

Where is Pretty Ricky and Craig?

Monica said...

Hey Peoples!

Brooke that instructor was rediculous!!! I wanted to smack him! I think it should be mandatory for all spin instructors to get their a$$es on the bike! Don't stand there telling me what to do. YOU DO IT! And then he had the nerve to sing... badly I might add. Unbelievable lol

Go Serena!!! 13 miles girl! I want to be like you when I grow up lol.

Im hungry! I need to eat soon :-)

I also need to get a manicure asap.

Halle Berry was FLAWLESS. I wish I had her my dreams lol

forgiveness is an interesting thing. Is it for you or the person that is asking for it? Are you a fool if you forgive them? or heartless if you don't?

Annamaria said...


@JAY: Brooke is amazing. Glad you realize that.


Brooke said...

awww, you all are making me all misty :)

Forgiveness is for YOU, not the other person. It frees you from any negativity you may be holding on to. Forgiveness doesn't mean you condone what they did to you, or that you even have to keep that person in your life. Forgiveness take the power they have over you away and brings peace to your spirit. Forgiveness is never foolish, it's necessary.

You can forgive someone while still letting them go.

I want Halle's breasts I think. I can work on the rest, but her breasts seem to be perfect!

My stomach is growling - brought my own lunch today - and I'm actually looking forward to eating it! LOL!

Jay said...


YOU are amazing too. I don't know you, but I can tell you're a good spirit from what you write - and how you gush over your daughter. Have a great time in PR!

I think all the women on this blog are extraordinary. I hope all the men in your lives realize it, cuz if they don't, they're fools!

LOL@ Brooke and Monica and their singing spin instructor. Maybe he had just done a class before and was tired, and that's why he couldn't spin with you all? I'm just trying to give him the benefit of the doubt :)

Don't judge me, but I got my first pedicure the other day. I kinda liked it :)

Jay said...

sorry for the typos!

Oh..and GO JETS!!!

Sorry B :-)

Brooke said...

That's ok Jay, you can cheer for the Jets on my page. At least their color is GREEN like the Eagles. I actually have nothing against the Jets, I wish them well.

Peyton is no joke though. Should be a good game...I hope.

Rameer "The Circumstance" said...

- On my way back from a shoot this morning, heard a radio commercial advertising a "voodoo party" at a local (mostly white) club, with some proceeds going to Haiti. If that ain't some of the most offensive garbage I've heard this year thus far...

- Good point on the Red Cross. I've refused to do anything with them personally (in terms of giving) in any capacity since Katrina. And the attacks and attention to Wyclef are typical racism. I'm just gonna call a spade a spade.

- Nice guys ALWAYS finish last. When women argue that point with me, I *always* chuckle a bit inside.

- Saw The Book Of Eli. Highly disappointed...3/4 of it was GREAT. Last 25% of it completely falls apart and undermines everything presented in the majority of the film.

- Also saw Extraordinary Measures. Good flick...only went to see it cuz the baby sis wanted to go. Disney-type feel-good film in the end...but this film confirms what I've known for a while - I can no longer willfully watch serious films where little children die or are in danger of dying. It upsets me.

- may be right about me holding Wendy Williams' radio days against her. But I'll still never watch her show. I don't like her, and I don't like uber-fake women. The boob job, weave, etc. are too much for me.

- I still haven't seen Avatar *either*. =[

- while there is no doubt that a man not claiming his child is absolute bitchassness, why is everyone in arms cuz John Edwards did this? Like it's a surprise when a white man of notoriety does this, but no one reacts or offers opinions when any Black celeb/man of note does it? Like it's EXPECTED of us to do this? I'm not talking about anyone on the blog, I'm talking the general public.

- @ Jaz - it ain't just you on the search for Cream Of Wheat. All I can find is the original flavored kind most times; I almost NEVER find any flavored stuff. Apples * Cinnamon is my fav.

- Lakers vs. Cavs tonight. We need some payback in L.A.

- Brooke-Ra & Serena - y'all better GET IT and get y'all wine on!!!

- @ Yolanda...ALWAYS insure any package you order. I'm sorry you got jacked - but I used to do that same type of jacking to fools who ordered CDs at SU. In fact, TONS of us did! That's why they changed the mail system on South Campus.

- I don't like Halle Berry. But NO ONE can say she ain't fine as all hell.

- Serena's comment about Monique made me think of this convo I had earlier this week...I hate that many of us as people of color get so happy when one of us wins ANY award. The roles that peoples of color are awarded for, for the most part, are all negative and/or play into what whites view as realistic depictions of us. This isn't to say the acting performance wasn't phenomenal or that the film itself wasn't good - it's what is chosen to be awarded. If you go over ANY Black, Latino or Asian actor's filmography, you can almost always find roles they played that are just as good but way more positive.

I don't watch most (if any at all) award shows because of this. I don't need the validation of white-run organizations to tell me that a performance or piece of work was good. I've always taken to heart when Phife Dog said "I never let a statue tell me how nice I am".

I know - deeper random thoughts today. Maybe more lighthearted ones after the break.

Yolanda said...

-Men who take care of their nails & feet are sexy. No shame in that at all!

-I left handwritten notes for the neighbors. I'm sure they think I'm nuts but dammit, it's hard to find size 11s and my search for black peeptoe ankle booties will NOT be ignored!

-Zappos gave me back my money and bumped me up to a VIP member. LOL

-Speaking of my neighbors, I'm surrounded by dudes. When I came back from San Diego, I heard sex sounds coming from the one guy's living room. I actually caught myself standing there listening for a minute. My bad.

-Serena! WHEN WHEN WHEN are we meeting up? I haven't seen you in 5 years!

-I got a box of clementines. I am murdering these little oranges. Mmm mmm mmm!

-I want a Blackberry Bold. This trackball is for the birds.

Anonymous said...

@ that girl. I feel your pain sister. my curly hair can feel ANY type of moisture in the air. It gets bigger and bigger as the day goes on.
If you are not into the nice guy let him go so he can find someone who he deserves. Nice guys do not finish last. We have become so used to seeing BITCHASSES that we can't appreciate a nice guy when we meet them.Nice guys are viewed as weak or soft when it is the opposite. Nice guys will never let you down. and when the shit hits the fan they always have your back.
a BITCHASS will flee the scene so fast he will look like a blur.
@ Brooke you are 100% right about the Red Cross they have been messing with $$$ for years.Yet they are still considered a legitimate agency.
I have to paint my new apt this weekend.
looking forward to the move to the Lower East side.
Cream of wheat rocks, my grandmother use to make it for us during the winter before school.
Got a kid free weekend- it's party time

Jay said...


It seems that white people are the only ones surprised at John Edwards. Like did they REALLY think he was telling the truth when he said that baby wasn't his?

As for men of color denying their child, I find that just as appalling. I don't care who does it, white or black, it's wack. I just find it funny that the white people at my job today were "shocked" while the rest of us were like "yeah, we knew that already." Some people see what they wanna see and believe what they wanna believe - even when the writing is on the wall.

As for Halle Berry, she's a beautiful woman, and all my boys were saying that Dave Justice, Wesley Snipes, Eric Bonet, etc. were all crazy for doing her wrong. While I don't condone cheating or hitting women - looks aren't everything - and just because a woman is FINE doesn't mean she's just as beautiful on the inside. I don't know Halle Berry, so I can't say I like or dislike her or that she's not a beautiful person, but ladies - make sure your OUTSIDE matches your INSIDE...better yet, make sure your INSIDE is MORE beautiful.
Halle Berry could be crazy when it comes to relationships for all we know. I hear women say, "if a man would cheat on Halle, then I stand no chance!" Don't sell yourself short. Trust me, there ARE some men who see past what you look like, and the ones who only want a Halle on their arms are not dudes you want anyway.

Yolanda said...

@Jay... I've had that discussion about Halle alot. She picked terrible men. It does make you wonder if something is *off* within her that drew her to those guys.

Serena W. said...

Jay you're what I call, "Greatness."

Brooke go to the movies with this man!

No man in my life...yet.

Yes we're finally meeting Brooke!!

Momo...12 miles honey...the 14 is next weekend GO TEAM!

I agree on the statement made about forgiveness, "You can forgive someone while still letting them go." It's freedom!

I still have my door closed...getting so much work done today!

Although I have a whack meeting later!

I need heat too Brooke! Trying to go somewhere this winter!

How dope is it that my friend invited me to do spoken word at the Department of Education's Black History showcase next month! Secretary Arne Duncan is invited! What!!!! Stay tuned.

I need a pedicure for real though!

Maybe I'll treat myself after I hit mile 20 in February (whew)!

Where is Craig, Pretty Ricky and the rest of the crew???

Rameer "The Circumstance" said...

True story what you wrote about Halle, Jigga. And @ Yolanda - like MANY women, she just always went after dudes with obvious red flags she chose to ignore.

I take the unpopular stance that if, like Eric Benet, I saw my celebrity wife bangin' Billy Bob Thornton on film (there's a heavy undercurrent that says they really got it on in those scenes, and a part of the unrated DVD confirms that for ME at least) and kissing Ichabod Crane-lookin' Adrian Brody on-stage, I might wild the eff out too. Not saying I'm gonna screw twenty thousand women, but I admittedly wouldn't be cool with either of those two things occurring - and I'm not an insecure dude. It might be *over* unless something changed DRASTICALLY.

Jay said...




I'm trying to up my sexy - so a pedicure was needed :) LOL!!

Sounds like I might have a date for the movies ;)

Brooke said...

I only need a pedicure on my right big toe :) LOL!

The rest of my toes are holding up nicely. But I stubbed my toe the other day and it made my nail rip off. OUCH!!! So now I have a stumpy looking right big toe.

I know...TMI.

I agree, Halle just picked the wrong dudes. I've been guilty myself. That's why the last random thought on my post today is "when someone shows you who they are, believe them." It's true.

Anyway, AVATAR IT IS!!!

Jaz said...

@Thatgirl and Stephanie,

It must be "bad curly hair" day! Me too!!!

Agreed with Jay on all the things he wrote about bitchassness! You're right Stephanie, they'll look like a blur when they're really needed. Men who disappear when times get tough are total BITCHES!

Brooke, Jay may be your husband. Go to the movies and have fun!

I heard men say the more fine a woman is, the crazier she is. Not sure if Halle is crazy or not, but she picked the wrong dudes. She isn't the first and won't be the last. I'm trying to learn from my past mistakes as well...and I'm seeing a "nice" guy now myself. They're easy to spot amongst all the assholes out here..and it's nice to be treated like a lady.

Time for lunch!

Annamaria said...

@Brooke: The only reason I got to go to PR is cause my parents are going & don't want to be away from Sophia so I told them the only way she could go is if I went so my dad bought my ticket...Yes I'm spoiled & I like it..LOL

I gotta go get a mani & pedi before I leave.

Yolanda who cares what your neighbors think..I hope you get your stuff back... This year I got an ornament for Sophia to put up on the community tree in the lobby of my mother's building. It was a baby's first christmas ornament..YOU KNOW SOMEONE HAD THE NERVE TO JACK MY BABY'S ORNAMENT???? Well I wrote a note & put it up in the lobby of the building & the next day the ornament appeared on my mother's doorstep...LOL SOoo you never know you may get your stuff back...

Yolanda said...

LOL @ your angry note... did you threaten to tase them?

I don't suspect anything sinister with the guys next to me... UNLESS, they're into women's shoes (one never knows).

Could be random goings on in the neighborhood. I'm happy I got a refund.

Annamaria said...

NOPE didn't threaten to tase them.....although we all know I really wanted to. I just stated that is was absolutely disgusting for someone to steal the ornament from an infant...LOL

Rameer "The Circumstance" said...

Back to more Randomness:

- I know I mention a cute or attractive co-worker or associate all the time. But there's a woman who works in my traffic department who is so unbelievably sexy it's sinful! Here's the thing - for years, we HATED each other. She's very cold and mean. When I switched departments, we wound up having to deal with each other almost every day...and we got to know each other unwillingly. Now I know she's actually pretty cool and just hates men (she got literally left at the altar). She thinks almost every man is slime, but likes me cuz she realizes I'm not interested in banging her.

But the irony is, even though I'm NOT interested, I can't deny that she's sexy as all hell! She's like 40, but looks like she's 25 (I'm so not joking), and there's something really sexy about how mean she is to every man she comes across. It's almost like a character in a movie! My supervisor effs with her just to see her act mean - he admitted to me today "I like to get her mad cuz it's sexy as hell when she's upset". I thought I was the only one who thought that! Reminds me of that Ne-Yo song "When You're Mad".

- I'm gonna miss much of the championship games this weekend due to mandatory overtime. I'm NOT happy about this.

- I need to go get a physical.

- What is it with "The Bad Girls Club" that so many women are always talking about it??

- Tonight is the season finale of "Jersey Shore". I vowed to not miss an episode, but I'll have to catch the re-run if my Lakers are still on.

- SU is #5 in the polls...and we may rise even higher if we can win big games against Marquette and Villanova...

- my little cousin had her second child last night! It's weird to think of a girl you held in your arms as having her second child already. Her, the baby and the hubby are doing great.

- Princess has been avoiding me. She's made a personal decision that she KNOWS I don't approve of, and she knows we need to talk about it. So I've only seen her at work when we can't talk the past week. She's SO gonna get a piece of my mind. And she knows it...

- I hate how people are exploiting this Haitian tragedy for promotion and personal gain. F'n parasites.

- I'm never supposed to take food from a shoot. But man, I been eating GOOD lately when they send me to restaurants. That's all I'm sayin'...

- Thelma from "Good Times" is STILL BANGIN'!!! Even today...Black don't crack.

- Why have I been watching re-runs of "The Nanny" lately? I didn't like that show when it was on...and now I find it amusing! Same thing with "George Lopez" - HATED that show when it was on my network, now I can watch it and actually chuckle. What is WRONG with me??

- I'm pullin' out Goodie Mobb's first album today. I need some good, soulful Hip Hop.

- One of the girls I mentor said she wanted an "exciting relationship" like Lady Gaga has on "Bad Romance". I told her that Gaga says "I want your ugly, I want your disease" to start the song, and that I don't want ANY relationship that mentions the word "disease". The girl was like "Word? I didn't even know she said that!"

(Sigh) So many people love songs and pieces of entertainment that they have no idea what is being said...

More after the break.

THATgirl said...

About the guy--I don't know. I think it's because his biological clock is ticking--loudly--and mine really isn't. You ever met a man that wasn't really pressed to become friends first...he just wanted to be your man? I've gone into so many "things" with men, and never really became friends with them. Then, when things fall apart--I'm looking all crazy like, what happened? This guy is 34, a Christian, no kids, works two full time jobs, and has a credit score in the 780's lol. When we go out, he's literally "Mr. Throw It In The Bag"-I don't have to come out of my pocket, even for my own little stuff I want to buy. Maybe I think he has alterior motives. Or maybe I'm just not used to dealing with "nice guys". God knows I deserve one...but I just don't know how to sit back and let a man take care of things. I think I just like to be in charge. Yeah...that's probably it. Thoughts??

Annamaria said...

Thatgirl....HONESTLY if you aren't feeling him let him go...BUT if you decide to pursue this give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he wants his woman to be taken care of no matter what & enjoys doing things for her. Enjoy him but don't take advantage of him.

Yolanda said...

Uh, THATgirl, you're in DC?

I'll take him off your hands.

Seriously, let him go be nice to another woman if you're not feeling him. Get out now before you both get hurt.

Stef said...

I hate to be the bitch that asks this, but what does he look like. Cuz if he was FINE, you wouldn't be complaining. There must be no physical attraction on your part, cuz that's the only thing I would see "wrong" with him. Women don't complain about good men who they're attracted to, they complain when they have a great guy that they ARE NOT attracted to.
If he was all into you and wanted to jump right into being your man, and he looked like Boris Kodjoe, you wouldn't be saying boo about it. That's what I think.

But hey, it could just be me, and I'm simply asking - are you PHYSICALLY attracted to him?

Brooke said...

I was actually wondering the same thing Stef. Most women I know don't complain about nice guys who are also drop dead gorgeous and we wanna jump their bones.

(mainly because we've never come across one LOL! - I jest...a lil bit)

But seriously, it's rare that a woman would complain about a man being too nice, or too into us, or who wants to be our man if he was also FINE AS HELL. So that's actually a good question.

Ms. Penn said...


Just keep your eyes open and simply enjoy being treated like a lady. I'm sure you deserve a good man, so accept him. If you know you're not ready for the type of commitment he wants, or ready to reciprocate and be able to receive this good man - then do like everyone else is saying - let him go. But don't do it hastily. THINK first...decide what you REALLY want and decide if this man has all the traits you want in a man. So many times, women will make a "list" and then when they meet someone who has most of what's on that list, we reject it because it doesn't come in the package we want.

It sounds to me like this guy has a great list of wonderful traits on paper. Only you know if he's truly good or not. Be honest with yourself about what's really holding you back. If it's because you feel you don't deserve him, then that needs to change...and STOP. You deserve good things in life, so allow them to come in. Take a chance, do something different than you've done in the past - date a new type of guy, and see where it gets you. You don't have to be "in charge" - sit back and enjoy this man and appreciate him. He feels you're worth it, now it's your turn.

Jay said...


Get out of your own way. Date him, appreciate him, get to know him more. Trust yourself. You're worth a good guy. Women complain that there are none around - well you HAVE ONE. Like Ms. Penn said, take a chance and try something new. You'll be surprised...and rewarded.

Rameer "The Circumstance" said...

Allow me to be me...

You know why many of y'all can't find a man who is "fine as hell" who is a nice guy too??

Two reasons:

1. He knows just like many men do that the "nice guy" thing doesn't work and y'all want a "dude with swag" (whatever the eff THAT means). So he does what Usher, A-Rod, Michael Douglas, Brad Pitt, Lenny Kravitz, Shemar Moore, JFK and an endless list of men I could name who are sex symbols do - which is have his pick of the litter and be a "bad boy". He remains in demand, and his crappy behavior is accepted cuz he's "so fine".

2. He's so gassed off of constantly being worshiped/idolized/sweated over being "fine", he doesn't ever HAVE to develop a good enough personality and inner being that y'all are looking for. All he has to do is walk in the room and talk halfway decent. And don't LET him have a good job to boot.

It's actually the dynamic that has played out on the TV show "Nip/Tuck" for it's entire run. Sex symbol Christian has it easy and women literally DYING over him, and good guy Sean only gets attention and notoriety when he acts like Christian. I know it's only a TV show, but a lot of truth there.

Don't believe me? Move to DC or Atlanta, and watch the guys considered as sex symbols closely. Granted - even the non-sex symbols come up in those areas...

Stef said...

Rameer is right - there are RARELY nice guys around who are FINE, because they don't HAVE to be nice. That's why Brooke said it's rare we ever come across one. She jokes, but it's TRUE. Finding a nice guy who is also fine as hell (by societal standards, or by the masses) is like finding a unicorn.

That's not to say that all nice guys are ugly - by no means. But the fine guys that we all want are usually the assholes, and they know they're assholes, but they don't have to stop being assholes because women only care about what they look like.

But that's true for men too. How many men do you know who are with the crazy, bitchy chick simply cuz she has a fat booty or cuz she looks like Halle Berry. A dude will put up with alot of shit if the woman looks good, while the everyday, cute round the way girl gets overlooked even though she's nice and fun to be around.

It happens on both sides - not just with women. I know plenty of men who are with these crazy women and I look at them and see why.

Mr. Nice Guy said...

Hey everyone!

I know we're all talking about Thatgirl's issue, but I figured since the original "nice guys finish last" blog was about me, I figured I'd chime in with my update - off topic.

If you remember me, I was the one who said that my girl was waiting to have sex with me because I was a "good guy." Well, I printed out the blog and the comments and let her read them. She acknowledged that her reasoning may not have been put into the right words and that sex between two people should happen when they both feel comfortable. While we still haven't had sex yet (we came close though, cuz that conversation got us in a frisky mood) we had a great discussion on our expectation and intentions in our relationship. So that was helpful, thank you Brooke, and you all for your comments.

As for Thatgirl, I think I can agree with the rest of the group when I say I don't think you're physically attracted to him, because otherwise you'd be feeling like you hit the lottery right now instead of "not feeling him."

And Stef is right - men do it too. I've dated many women I knew weren't that bright, or weren't that funny, or fun to be with or as compassionate and giving as other women I knew simply because they were "model chicks" and they didn't have to have great personalities because they got by on being beautiful.

While I think you should be attracted to your mate SOME KIND OF WAY, don't overlook him simply because he doesn't come in the package you thought he would. And if his looks or the physical attraction have nothing to do with why you're not feeling him for real, then let him go. Don't lead him on, just be honest.

Rameer "The Circumstance" said...

Stef is 100% right. We men DO THE SAME CRAP. I just had a convo with a guy today about how he's pursuing this woman we know who is dumb as a rock - probably dumber - but she's too fine for him to "NOT mess with". He's willing to put up with a woman who literally didn't know birth control doesn't prevent STDs.

My only thing would be that I believe (this is in no way fact) that many men decide they want a good woman who doesn't necessarily look like Halle Berry quicker than women decide they want a good man who doesn't look like Boris Kodjoe (sp?). Men are more after the conquest/sex, women are more after the complete guy - so when we want a complete woman and not just sex or a good time, we're ready to settle down and not pass up what we see as a good thing many times. Since women for the most part aren't just looking for sexual conquests and are looking for the more complete package, they are often looking to make (or hope) that the fine brother will either BE that complete package, or that they will be the one to morph him into it. And it's like what was said earlier - when a person (in this case MAN) shows you who he is, BELIEVE HIM.

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