Monday, January 25, 2010
Happy Monday!
So...last Friday morning as I crossed E. 45th Street, I looked up and noticed that the billboard that I had seen for months had changed - from what used to be an ad for Stella Artois, to one of a black couple seemingly in love. The caption said something to the effect of "you are my soulmate forever," and there was a link. I dismissed it as an ad for wedding planning perhaps, or someone showing off their love by posting a billboard of their engagement. Who knows. Who cares. Whatever.
Until the noon news came on. The anchor said, "Have you seen these billboards around town?" I immediately turned up the volume on the tv so I could hear what this billboard was selling. My eyes got bigger with every word. "Oh NO SHE DIDN'T!!!"
I was floored when I heard this. Not because a guy was cheating on his wife - that never surprises me anymore, or anyone else for that matter really.
But I was stunned by the amount of money this woman must've shelled out in order to put him on blast! I mean, this chick has PRIME REAL ESTATE in midtown! She had one up in Times Square for goodness sake! And more in San Fran and Atlanta?? Wow. She wasn't playin!
Now, the story itself is typical. Man had mistress on the side. Wife most likely knows about it. I love you, I'm leaving her, blah blah blah.
But what the hell happened??
Clearly this woman was content being the side chick for 8 and a half years. I'm sure, based on the notes/letters, etc., he was telling her stuff like he was leaving his wife, it's complicated, hang in there with me - all the nonsense married men (and women) spew to keep their side pieces in check. So why now? And why like THIS?
Some may see these billboards and think, "That's what he gets!" But all I could think of is how crazy she seems to have spent THOUSANDS of dollars on billboards in Midtown Manhattan, as well as other cities, just to get back at someone who she thought wronged her. I mean, did she really think she was gonna be wifey? What could have possibly happened to move her to publicly humiliate him? And what did she PAY for all that??? (some have said it could be as much as $250k)
Who the hell knows...and it's not like he's getting any sympathy from me. When you play with fire, you're likely to get burned.
Anyway, if he IS reconciling with his wife, I wonder if these billboards are a setback. I mean come on, you think it's all good - and then BAM! Scandal! She has to be thinking, "I'm a fool if I take his ass back now!" But then again, if she knew about this affair - which he admits was a serious relationship - then maybe she doesn't care. Maybe it just makes the other woman look like a sore loser.
Either way, you gotta admit, this woman has some balls! Some might say she's nuts - and I might agree. I damn sure wouldn't spend MY hard earned money on a loser - but then again, she clearly has the means to do whatever she wants. I might have taken out a full ad in the Metro (free paper) and that's about it...that's all I could afford! She should have donated that money to Haiti and written it off in her taxes, and written him out of her life. Just move on.
Or maybe she's not crazy at all - but simply a woman who was in love and is now heartbroken. People in love do crazy things in times of desperation (and rage) - things they themselves probably thought they were never capable of doing. It's sad when it gets to that point.
If Tiger Woods wasn't example enough, let me say this to all the men (and women) out there who are or plan on cheating. No voicemails. No hand-written notes. No emails, texts or IMs. No credit cards. And please - No photos. Clearly, these are all the things you need to make a nice, neat Shutterfly or Snapfish keepsake album :-)
One may be asking himself, "Well, if I can't do any of those things, then what CAN I do...because that doesn't leave much else."
To that I answer...."Precisely."
-b
40 comments:
FIRRRST BITCHES!
I read abou this Friday...I think it may have been MTO. Sad to say, the only thing I thought of, was how dumb was she?!?! If you can't show me any papers, we've got a problem. I really think it was tacky of her to go through all of that to humiliate the guy, when she knew full well what the deal was. In life there are consequences, and if you can't accept them, then maybe you shouldn't be doing whatever it is you're doing. Yeah, he was wrong...but the mistress was out of line. Even if his WIFE knew what was going on and was ok with it--now everybody has seen the dirty laundry-so no one can really come out of this unscathed. Tacky...just tacky.
Not directed at one person, but at people in general...
My only opinion is this. I find it grossly hypocritical (if y'all don't know by now, I think the majority of Americans ARE hypocrites with what they say and do daily) how many people felt no pity for Tiger Woods and seemed to take delight in his problems and put the blame on him when more and more of his alleged mistresses dropped dime - but in THIS CASE, people are looking at the girl like she's in the wrong. What she did was nuts - true that. But it's STILL no different than Tiger's alleged mistresses putting him on blast in interviews, releasing texts, e-mails, offering up pics, etc. More extreme? No doubt! But essentially the same effect - letting the world know that y'all swung a few eps and dude was married.
And when I say people, I'm saying mostly people of color, cuz that's who I hear talking about this the most. WTF? Tiger is a lowlife and is completely at fault; but dude gets a pass and we blame HIS mistress?? Oh, he's trying to reconcile with his wife. Wasn't that what Tiger was trying to do after the first mistress name dropped? I'll tell you this - he ain't going to sex rehab cuz he wanted to. That's more than likely a show or truth to his wife and family that he's serious about turning his life around with them - it ain't about the public and sponsors, cuz they would be there anyway, as soon as he won his first tournament.
I get it. This woman was probably super sprung, and got back at him when she found he reneged on his promise to be with her. But still - I'm not gonna change my opinion and suddenly make the cheating married person at fault in one case and not in another (or at least less at fault).
That's just my observation.
I never really had an opinion on the Tiger thing--for some reason, I didn't think twice about it. But when I compare the two in my mind, the thing that stands out is the fact that Tiger was messing with various women--while this man was in an eight year "relationship". Tiger was being messy. The women with Tiger had no "right" to cry foul as they knew their positions--and while this woman may have had that right--she went about it all wrong. On Russ Parr they were saying that she spent $300k on these billboards. Tiger got caught cheating. This other dude broke things off with the chick, and she then wanted revenge.
And dude definitely doesn't get a pass. They were also saying on the radio that he had taken his son around her--they all went on trips together. That's sooo messy as well-but they clearly had a more "legitimate" relationship than Tiger and his jump-offs. He was definitely in the wrong--but he "seemingly" tried to make it right and dump the chick at some point. Maybe he had already been caught too...who knows.
Good points, THATgirl. And for the record - my comment wasn't directed at you. I just wanted to address the hypocrisy I've heard from people on this issue...I don't even remember what you said on the blog about Tiger when we were discussing it.
I agree - no passes. Cheating is cheating!
***tasing that girl***
lol
Anywho I think that BOTH married men Tiger & this dude are in the wrong..
As for this chick she could have done a lot better things with her cash...This is not going to make him leave his wife..and if the wife knew & was willing to work it out then it probably will embarrass her a lil but she'll get over it.
As for the mistresses being fucked up...I don't think they are.. They don't owe the married man OR anyone else anything. They ain't the wife..Yes they knew what they were getting into when they decided to become the mistress but the same way HE owes her nothing NEITHER does she...
Tiger wanted to play guess what he found someone that played better. This dude played a game & look what happened... WHY is it expected that these chicks sit somewhere quietly... Especially since as Brooke said we don't know what these men are telling these women...LOL They are cashing in & putting these dudes on blast.....
Finally the only thing this chick succeeded in doing is making the wife's job a lot easier if she does decide to get a divorce...especially if there is an adultery clause in the prenup... So technically the wife should call her up & thank her..
I don't feel bad for any of these clowns. Adults make adult decisions everyday...and you live with the consequences.
The people to feel bad for are the kids, who have to see Mommy & Daddy on the front pages of tabloids or see Daddy's face plastered across town on billboards with some woman who isn't Mommy.
I agree Yolanda, none of them get any sympathy from me. I think in Tiger's case, as well as this one, they all are at fault - and none more than the other one.
But you're right - there's a 9 or 10 year old kid who has to see/hear all this, and that's what's truly sad.
The only difference between this woman and Tiger's jumpoffs is that she PAID money to put him on blast, while some of Tiger's women GOT PAID to put him on blast. This woman should have gone on a talk show or something instead of paying all her own damn money.
Women who are scorned (or stupid) can do what they want - whether a jumpoff or in a serious relationship with a married man for 8 years. Do I think that women who do this are delusional? Yes. But do they owe the married man their silence? Hell no!
If a man chooses to cheat, he has to be ready for the consequences - even if that means the woman you were messing with puts your shit on front street. Deal with it.
Would I have done what she did? No. But if she has the means and it didn't break her bank, then so be it. Like Brooke said - you play with fire (or a woman in rage) then you get burned!
I thank god that Tigers kids a too young to understand right now BUT what happens in 5 or 10 years when they google Tiger Woods and all this crap comes up... Fucking dumb asses....
Crazy, crazy, crazy...money and power should never lull someone into believe they can't be destroyed easily through the things they swear (to themselves) they can't get caught doing.
Bottom line, you don't REALLY know someone until the break up. This broad is a code red bunny boiler whose likes haven't been seen since Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. Congrats to you, you've just spent 300K on billboards professing your love so you could get revenge on a man that broke up with you. And the purpose served is what, again?
Excuse me while I go make 30,000 flyers about how my neighbor doesn't rake his leaves, then hire a street team to litter them across the area.
the only emotion that should be explored in this is CRAZY....and oh yeah...STUPID...oh and WASTEFUL.
I can't believe this woman spent $300k on this nonsense. While I don't know what he was telling her, or the emotions involved - $300k??? That's insanity. She'd have to be insanely in love - or pissed off - to do that.
I can't fault her for feeling hurt. Sometimes you can't help how you feel, or how someone makes you feel. But you CAN control how you act. And in this case, I think she acted foolishly. Hopefully the lesson is learned.
Tiger's jumpoffs knew their place, they just wanted to get paid off the story. I feel like this woman really loved and believed she'd be with him based on the notes and stuff. She fell for the okie doke.
As for Tiger and men like him - none of them get a pass and cheating is cheating. You just never hear of men acting this crazy when they get dumped - they just go have sex with as many women as possible to dull the pain - not spend thousands of dollars on the humiliating the woman. I hope people look at situations like this and THINK before acting in the future.
We've all done something crazy in the name of love - but DAMN - I'd have a hard time parting with that much loot just because I was mad :)
Rameer--I know it wasn't towards me. I didn't even comment on the Tiger blog. It was just that much of a non-issue to me lol.
You know, on second thought, I feel a little bad for the mistress. After this nonsense, any man that approaches her will get the ILL side-eye from me. She's pretty much killed her chances of a relationship with any other man that has something to lose. This has to be a part of some elaborate plan she's cooked up--this can't be it LOL...
Ms. Penn, I totally feel you. I've felt hurt in the past - but in most cases, I was more angry at MYSElF for being foolish, not the man. People don't care how they hurt you sometimes, so acting out only serves to make you look crazy to the other person - whether you're justified in your rage or not. They think to themselve - "I dodged a crazy bullet!" They rarely think - at leats not immediately - "I deserved that."
The best course of action is to learn the lesson. Hopefully when you know better, you DO better. That lesson shouldn't cost you $300k though! I'm too tight with my money. I'd rather cry my eyes out to my girlfriends than spend that much money on a guy who makes $19 MILLION a year and couldn't care less that I outted him. He might be a bit embarrassed - but at the end of the day - nobody remembers him...they only remember the crazy woman who spent 8 years and hundreds of thousands of dollars on outting a man that didn't want her anymore.
@Thatgirl,
I agree! What man is going to want her NOW??? Like Fury said, she's the bunny boiler now - she took it to a whole new level!! Forget busting windows out your car, this woman will put your face on a fuckin billboard in Times Square!!!
I don't feel bad for anyone involved. Yes, I think the woman looks nuts, but maybe he made her that way. Men act like we're surprised when a woman does stuff like this, but we also act like we're innocent too. He was telling her that he loved her, that she was the best thing to happen to him, breathed new life into him, we're almost there and we'll be together. Then he suddenly changed his mind and she felt betrayed.
Granted, it sounds silly to feel betrayed by a married man when YOU are the side piece, but who knows the nature of the marriage. Clearly he wasn't trying to hide this woman. He flaunted her around like SHE was his wife! No wonder she felt jilted! While she was stupid to spend that much on him, HE was wrong to make her feel like she could be wifey!
Look at Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats. He's married, or was, or is in the midst of a divorce - and he publicly says that Alicia is his boo. Is she wrong for believing him? Was Angelina Jolie wrong for believing Brad Pitt? Their marriages were probably over long before they met the "other" woman. Not saying it makes it right - but it's not as simple as being a Tiger jumpoff either.
You should blog about that Brooke. Is it homewrecking when the home is already wrecked? I'd love to read your take on that.
@Cable Guy,
Done. Maybe that'll be my blog tomorrow.
That's actually a good question Cable Guy - why does Alicia get a pass? For all we know, this crazy woman could have been the "Alicia" in the relationship. He had this woman all over the world, taking pics, etc. - he was more "out" with her than Swizzy is with Alicia! She just KNEW she was gonna be his one day.
When women do stuff like this, I feel it's more to send the wife a message, not the man. It's like "see, I had your man for 8 years and look how he treated me!" Women compete and don't wanna feel stupid, so it's like she did it to show he had just as much a right to him as the wife did.
Women need to stop doing that shit and have more self esteem. At least Swizzy is making moves to get a divorce - this guy had her as a side piece for 8 years!!! At some point she had know that he wasn't trying to wife her. She played herself.
Oh lawd no the homewrecking!
I need to see the papers... the home isn't officially wrecked 'til you can show me some documentation.
Plus, who wants to be the rebound chick? Take a minute, figure out who you are as this newly single/unmarried man, then holla at me.
(Sigh) I keep telling people. Swizz Beatz and Mashonda were already separated when he started messing with Alicia eons ago. It appears to people who know the timeline that Mashonda got upset and went public only when she realized that he truly wasn't going to reconcile with her, even though NEITHER ONE OF THEM were making attempts to do so. It seems as though she just assumed he was alone and separate from her - not moving on with a music megastar.
Comparing Alicia Keys to these woman is quite a stretch. Man or woman - if you marriage is essentially over and you move on, while I agree you SHOULD get your paperwork in order, it's not the same as sneaking around and cheating on your spouse. Especially since there are QUITE a few people who knew about Swizz and Alicia before it became public news about a year ago...they had been messing with each other for about a year BEFORE THAT. And it really wasn't THAT "on the low".
People villify A.Keys unfairly, in my opinion. And my thing is this - if you want to take the stance that she's a bad guy for dating a guy who was on the outs with his wife and moved on due to mutual separation, then fine. But shouldn't HE shoulder more of the scorn than HER? Why is she the bad guy and not him??
I personally think neither one is. Even in marriage counseling, they'll advise you to date other people while separated some times to see if you truly want to move on or stay together.
I'm with Yolanda. If you take it as far as getting a divorce, then I'll know you're serious and the marriage is over. Otherwise, there's always a chance you can go back, just like this guy did with his wife - and now there are billboards up with his face plastered all around the city.
Well, it didn't appear that this dude on the billboards was sneaking around on his spouse either. He was out and about with her everywhere, snapping photos, treating her like she was the one. I think this guy stayed married to his wife out of convenience, not because he truly loved her - cuz he didn't care about getting caught. Just like Swizzy was separated, maybe this guy was too. We don't know the details, but he tried to go back with his wife and this is what set her off. So I agree with Yolanda, if the paperwork in done, then I'll know it's for real and not something that MIGHT happen.
As far as Swizzy and Alicia - I don't make her out to be a homewrecker, cuz again, who knows what he's selling her. It could all be truth or not...but it's a risk you take. It's all a risk - and this woman with the billboards took a risk and it didn't work out for her. But separated doesn't mean divorced. It means we're taking a break. If people date while taking a break and then go back, then unfortunately it's a risk the other person is taking if they decide to date the separated person, but I don't think they should be considered a homewrecker.
I don't believe in the "homewrecker" idea anyway. That's like saying the woman rode in on her horse, roped your man, gagged him, cuffed him and rode off with him as your hostage.
A man goes willingly. He knows the deal.
Well, I guess I don't have to write the blog - seems we're hashing it out now in the comments :-)
I agree with Yolanda... The "homewrecker" doesn't destroy the home...If the person goes it was their choice.....
Sorry, Brooke-Ra. Didn't mean to go off on/contribute to a tangent and undermine your next blog topic...
It's no big deal - I can still write it, but just from a different standpoint. I had some ideas floating, but feel free to continue! I can try to think of something else if everyone feels we've discussed all we can on that topic :-)
I still want you to write it Brooke. We didn't hear YOUR take on it yet :-)
I agree with E. Payne. I think money and power make some feel like they can do anything they want to whomever they want - and damn the consequences. This man knew what he was dealing with, and probably didn't think she'd go to this extreme to show her anger and pain. But when you cheat, this is what could happen - and although we may think she's a bit "off" we can't make this be all about her.
Tiger felt he was invincible, and now we see even he can be brought down. He's a man like we all are. This guy had a relationship with a woman for 8 years of his own free will. He ended it and she felt betrayed. Delusional or not, she felt justified. Was it extreme? Yes. Crazy? Maybe. Wasteful. Probably. But none of us can feel sorry for him because she did what crazy people do. Like someone said, when you do dirt, be man enough to face the consequences. That goes for ALL cheaters. If you don't cheat, it guarantees things like this won't happen to you. If you decide to play, then play to win, or be prepared to lose.
Old girl knew what she was getting into 8+ years ago. He won't leave his wife and never had intentions on it! (Has she watched Waiting to Exhale...she needs to pop the DVD in and review the tape). And to go and get a billboard like this???
I'm with Brooke, donate that money to people who need it, pack up shop and move forward with your life.
It's a shame how many mistress's can't move on and think that this husband (that isn't there's) is their world. Real shame...
Brooke and Momo...it was great meeting you on Saturday :)
My two cents...
Hmmm some interesting comments here. I'm not sure if what I've read is 100% accurate, but a few things that I've read about this relationship. I think that yes it's a little crazy for her to have spent so much $$ putting him on blast, but I think that hey if she can afford to...why not?
Not saying it's all true, but I think her motivation was to take something that she knows was important to him away --his career ...maybe because she's pissed, but mainly because she knows he has a hell of a lot to lose.
Here are a few points that I've read that make me believe this guy is a piece of $hyt and isn't completely innocent in this matter. Plus she has a very public paper trail from him. He was stupid.
- The man bought an $8 million dollar home with this woman.
- He introduced her to his son and close friends and his future wife & attended very public events with this woman (as CEO of a huge public company)
- He "told her and his friends" he had been legally divorced since 2003.
It was great meeting you too Serena! We have to do it again really soon!
And Rameer will be happy to know he was right - I like Riesling :)
Wow Glee, I hadn't read all of that. If that is the case, then yes - everything isn't all that it seems.
If he shared a home with this woman, then I can see how she could imagine she'd be wifey. Still doens't justify billboards in my opinion, unless he kicked her out of said house a la "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" - but it DOES give you a bit more insight.
Based on the photos alone, he had her OUT there. He wasn't hiding at all, didn't even attempt to. He was treating her like wifey, so it's no wonder she thought she was. Eight years is a long time to hang in there without some sort of promise. I guess she believed them all, even though he admits it was a "serious relationship."
Either way, it's sad that the billboards make her look nuts, even if she "technically" isn't. We don't know the dynamics, but like everyone said, it's a risk you take. Sometimes it works out, sometimes not. But keep your money in the bank - whether you have alot of it to play with or not. He wasn't worth it.
@Georgia Peach,
If all that you wrote it true, then it makes perfect sense to me that she felt she was "more" to him than some side chick. Like I said, it's easy for us to paint her as crazy without knowing the full story. Men know when we paint false hope, we know what we tell women. We know that y'all are emotional creatures and we know when you all are in love with us. He knew what he was getting into, so can't say I feel sorry for this clown. He got with a woman who took it to the extreme, and serves him right. Next time, get your divorce, get your sh*t in order and then be with the woman you want to be with. If you want your cake and eat it too, then be prepared to have your face on billboards down the street from A&E! :-) LOL!
You like Riesling, Brooke-Ra?? YESSSSS!!! I'm so happy! I was actually kind of nervous...I was sure you would have, but would have felt foolish if you didn't. I don't like to recommend stuff unless I'm positive a person will like it. And wine is VERY different - depending on what brand, year, etc. you can get the wrong impression or taste.
But most Rieslings from an authentic wine-tasting experience will be pretty good. I was sure you would like Moscato and Riesling. You would probably like a good Conchord and a Niagara as well. I'm happy you finally found some wines you like! Just make sure you REMEMBER THE BRAND. Wine isn't like alcohol - you can love one Riesling and HATE another.
You probably wouldn't like a Dry Riesling, but more of a sweet one. I have one with a subtle hint of pear and peach in it...it's to *die for*.
And don't even GET into Ice wine...that's getting really fancy! Lmao!!!
I tried to remember the brand but I neglected to write it down. I still have more to try, but you're right, I don't think I'd like a dry wine. I tried a red that Monica was drinking and didn't care for it. I'm sure I need to try a variety before I find several that I'd like. But dessert wines seem to tickle my fancy.
The wine wasn't the highlight of my evening though, meeting Serena was! That was great!
Oh, and I get very "chatty" when I'm buzzed on wine...so not something I need to partake in often :-)
Nothing wrong with chatty...as long as you don't get "frisky" with those women who find you so sexy! Lmao!
At least don't do it unless there's a camera present...lolz!
Yeah, I figured you for a dessert wine drinker. I personally don't like most dry wines myself, I like more of a sweeter taste, to really taste the grapes used. But there are sooooooo many you would like - if you saw my collection, I think you'd probably like 90% of what I have.
I have one that I always drink that tastes like juice...but it will put you on your ARSE if you drink it like that! One or two glasses is all I would give a woman...anything more, and she'll eventually be out for the count! It's only made in this region of the state; my boy B put me on to it. Princess and I *love it*.
yeah, see...that's what I don't need, cuz I tend to drink juice alot, so a wine that tastes like it will DEFINITELY put me in a bad place :) I get "friendly" when I drink from what I can remember :)
Friendly is nice :-)
Glad you all finally met!
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