Friday, July 17, 2009

TGIF like a mug!

(am I the only person who still says "like a mug?")

hee hee :-)

Anyway...I know today isn't TMI Tuesday...I know this. But Pretty Ricky's comment yesterday, coupled with a sexy chat with Ant last night, has inspired my post today...so you have them to thank - or blame ;-)

Maybe instead of TMI Tuesday, we can call this "Freaky Friday." ;-)

In case you missed it yesterday, one of Pretty Ricky's random thoughts was that he was "hornier than the brass section of an orchestra." I was so tickled by that comment, because lately I've been feeling the same way! Actually, a lot longer than lately. About 2 weeks ago, The Fury asked if women were more horny in the summer time. My answer to that? When am I NOT horny?

Summer, winter, spring, fall...you name the season, I'm ready to get busy. I mean, yes...wearing less clothing and showing our flirty legs in flowing sundresses in the summer may make us feel sexier. Feeling the hot sun on bare flesh is intoxicating, and bronze skin is more alluring and seductive. I get it.

But all of that being said, in the dead cold of winter, I will still picture a fool naked in a skully, turtleneck and some timbs...makes me no nevermind. As a matter of fact, personally I think men and women want to warm up to each more in the winter. Ladies know what I'm talking about. That's when ole boy that you haven't heard from ALL summer pops up outta nowhere...talkin' bout...

ring!

I don't recognize this number

(probably because you deleted it from your phone months ago)

Horny Woman: Hello...

Ole Boy: Hey baby, how you been?

HW: Who is this?

OB: It's me, JT...damn, you forgot a brotha already?

HW: (asshole...but damn he fine) What's up?

OB: You...

HW: (he's full of shit, but his Barry White voice is KILLIN me) Me huh?

OB
: Yep...can I stop by and see you?

HW: (I haven't heard from your punk ass all summer, NOW you wanna stop thru? Negro please) I dunno, haven't heard from you in a minute...and it's late.

HW eyeballs the crib to see if it's worthy of male company.


Bathroom clean - check. Living room clean - check. Kitchen clean and stocked with snacks and juice - check. Bedroom clean - well...I have a few articles of clothing on the bed and it's not made, but I can take care of that right quick.

OB: I know babe, but I been thinking about you. Let me make it up to you. I can be there in 20 minutes, I'm leaving the city now.

HW is now lighting candles, taking off clothes and heading to take a shower as he speaks...

HW: I dunno...I gotta work in the morning.

OB: Me too...just for a second, come on girl. I missed you.

HW looking for sexy panties....

HW: Okay...but just for a second.

See...that's how it all starts. And you'll be all cozied up til April Fool's Day, after which he'll promptly act a fool at the first warm breeze. Y'all know I'm right.

Anyway, where was I going with this? Oh yeah...right...horny. See what happens when you ain't gettin' none? Mind starts wandering and playing tricks on you.

...ahem...anyway...

Ever since I began my sexual ascent around age 30, I have been on a continuous hormonal roller coaster full of horny peaks and valleys. At the onset of one of those highs, my wet dreams usually kick into high gear and help me take the edge off...especially since I STILL haven't replaced my toy. But lately, even my wet dreams aren't helping, and a toy just won't do. I crave the experience of another person...I want to feel the weight of a man.

Needless to say, I'm revisiting an up swing in my sex drive. I’m constantly aroused - I can cross my legs or catch a good gust of wind and start tingling. This could be in part due to a hormonal shift, and the result is the equivalent of an 18 year old boy in heat. I don't know how you guys could stand this!

I like sex, always have...none of this has changed. But my need for sex has changed. Some days are worse than others - not suggesting that sexual arousal is ever a bad thing - but before I could take it or leave it. Some days I wanted sex, and other times I preferred sleep. But lately, my cravings are non-stop! Who is responsible for this malicious prank? Am I being punked?

Men hit their peak in their late teens to early 20's, when most are free from the responsibility of adulthood. But here I am, a grown woman, over 30-something, friends, family, career, living life...and horny. And no man in sight.

Yes, I could be promiscuous, non-selective, or just plain hoe'ish, and take care of this urge pronto. But as a mature, responsible and emotional creature, I can't bring myself to do it. I'm not built for it really. I have to at least like you, appreciate you, trust you, and not think you're a cornball in order to allow you into my sacred space. Sure, it may take care of my immediate needs, but then I'm left catching feelings in the morning. To avoid all that, I just keep my legs closed and my dreams as vivid as possible :-) Just being honest with myself...

But in all this honesty, am I denying myself? Am I reading too much into it? How does this "mature" approach to my current condition satisfy my need for sex on a daily basis?

It doesn't.

I have to wonder how other single women my age fair during this crazy time of life. Do these feelings bring about a need to seek gratification in ways you never thought you'd consider?

I guess this is a question for the ladies...can you help a sista out? Maybe I just need to dust off my platinum card to the Pink Pussy Cat and keep it movin'...

....damn, it is hot in here?

Well...it IS summertime ;-)

-b

46 comments:

Ms. Princess said...

Dear Brooke-lyn,Ok, Princess should not be up! Can't sleep, got my toosch up to do some work and then decided to see if a few mins of tickling my BB's Options section could fix what hours on the phone w/Sprint's BB Tech Support guys couldn't. I wanted to test your comments page and see if I could post something, being as though I couldn't yesterday. Low & behold you had a luscious blog for me scan.A woman once said Getting old is not for the weak. She ain't never lied. Brooke-lyn, I feel your pain gurl, literally. I'm always asking my gurlfriends about this great hormonal shift and they all seem to have this issue as well. My girlfriend calls her alter ego *Betty Shagwell (*=changed her first name to protect her identity). I think us women do tend to feel flirtier in the warmer months due to less articles of clothing but we get that randy feeling all year long. This is so new for me, I'm concerned! It has me slurring my speech and forgetting what I'm saying right in mid-sentence if I even have a "thought" or "nice flashback" lol. I often say "Am I high?" or "Have I been drinking?"I mentioned yesterday that I've been successfully avoiding my ex until I answered one of his calls recently. Cannot afford to revisit that chapter of my life...but God knows, if I lay eyes on him, I'm in trouble. Like my godsister (in my head) Jill Scott said: "You were no good for me, I was no good for you. I just remember what we used to do." Nuff said! I think he was "Ole Boy" in your blog scenario or he at least penned the dialogue.Is it me or are the nights worse? Alone w/your thoughts. Oh bother! I know the porn industry produces a billion/year in revenue and toys are splendid, but nothing compares to having the company of another, someone to share your experiences and your "Virginia" with, lol (looovvve that word). You know you're not the act hoe-ish kinda woman, so don't trip that. Hold on babes! God is preparing you for someone special - just continue to have faith. Keeping a toy in the nightstand ain't a bad idea either!And that's all I have to say about that because I'll reveal too much! Spread love my people!

Annamaria said...

Rules have been broken..NO FIRST BITCHES!!! WHAT'S UP WITH THAT PEOPLE!
Anywho I won't be commenting too much today cause I have to concentrate on the boo for his b-day & Aaron boy is home sick from camp.
I don't think there is a season when I feel friskier but I do feel sexier in the spring or summer because of the weather. I am able to think about how I want to look & make the effort more without worrying about freezing my azz off.I can think about tempting my booboo with a cute summer dress & sandals, etc etc (except for this year with this belly..LOL) BUT let the record show I did get pregnant in the winter!!! :)SOOOO I guess I like to CUDDLE too....LOL..

DMoe said...

Ms.Princess,

After my faux-pas yesterday, you should kmnow that being first brings responsibility. Simply put: don't let it happen again. If your first, dance in our proverbial endzone with the customary greeting for all who've fallen behind you.

Now, on to HW...First of all, I think your wonderful. (LOL)

I do believe there's something in the air in springtime and then eventually summer. Of course, every other animal that roams this planet has a mating season, and we are no exception.

In the building I work in, all the fellas know the changes of the seasons by the amounts of skin, cleavage and feet we begin catching glimpses of, just like the days get longer.

With that said, its all real - and its happening all around us as we speak...While the "horny dude" rules are a little different, I'm here to say that everything changes with the temperature.

Dmoe

Brooke said...

Princess, you have to say "First Bitches!" I know that's not your style, but jus sayin ;)

Now, Princess my dear...you are merely a baby...what are you? 27?

Wait til you get my age. GIRL! You have no idea. I have no idea what is going on, but it needs to stop!

Yes, I get the whole summertime thing. But that's not even really what this blog is about. It was about me and my raging hormones ALL YEAR ROUND! It's about my age, hormones and my sexual peak and how it's wreaking havoc on me daily! Something's gotta give before I jump on somebody.

I've always been a sexual person with a decent libido...but damn if I'm not ready to...whew!

**channeling Anna Mae Bullock**

"Nam Myoho Renge Kyo"

Annamaria, your ass is horny all the time too...fast ass!

The Fury said...

Long story short...I'm psychic. First time in a minute I get a chance to check your blog and...lookey here! LOL

You see how hot it's getting? You see how damn horny everyone is?? It's the weather I'm sure of it. I mean, I'm normally a horny mug ;-) but these days...watch out ladies. Horny swagger is on a hundred thousand million. LOL

(standing in front of Brooke)

You feeling frogish? Leap! LMAO! You'll jump over, but you'll be limping back, baby!

Yolanda said...

I'm 31. I didn't lose my virginity until sophomore year of college. I was 2 months shy of turning 20. So, needless to say, I wasn't a big ole freak in high school or college. I didn't get "it" on a regular basis and I've had some LOOONNNNNNG droughts over the years. But at this age, I am TOTALLY on the same page with you Brooke. I'm done with being a "friend with benefits"...it's just too painful and I always wind up liking the dude eventually because we start off dating, then it leads to the FWB situation and then I'm all starry-eyed over him. That doesn't work for me any more. Dammit...I am WIFEY material! Can someone catch a clue? *woosah*

Anyway, the horniness isn't so much ONLY being horny. It's also wanting the companionship, the weight of that man (whew, girl) and all of the other things that go along with spending time with someone. That's what I'm craving at this point.

I'm working on patience though. I'm a Taurus and that's my BIGGEST flaw (well, that and I've got some jealousy issues and okay, I'm stubborn...damn). But being impatient has messed me up many times. So, I take this "singlehood" as a sign from God that maybe I need to be working on myself right now.

Maliek said...

Brooke,

I do not remember you asking for my permission or getting written consent to call this Freaky Friday. Expect a letter from my people to your people! :-)

Freakdawg out...

Brooke said...

Maliek, I ain't skerred of your freaky ass!

Yolanda, I hear you...we here (**pointing my two fingers at your eyes, then my eyes**) What to do!?

It's a cruel joke I tell you! Cruel!

Fury, the way I'm feeling now, YOU would be limpin...not ME. You'd be broke up muphucka messin wit me!

Pretty Ricky What Dey Call'em said...

I am so glad helped inspire today's blog! Brooke.. I understand where you are coming from (Cuz I stays horny) even though I'm not a woman. And this long distance relationship is tough or "snickers" (I call hiim snickers cause he really satisfies you!) LMAO

I guess the distance makes the sex mind numbing when we see each other. But I always get the scene in the nutty professor playing in my head when the grandmother is describing Professors Clumps condition. "Woooooooo... might make your head pop off. (Pop goes the weasel cuz the weasel goes pop)

The Fury said...

Looking at you like Sandman Simms in The Cosby Show...

CHALLENGGGGGEEEEE! LOL

Brooke said...

LMAO!!!

But I'd take the long distance thing right about now, cuz at least you know you gettin some soon! And you can drive to it :)

I'd take that!

Brooke said...

Fury, you don't want none.

Rameer said...

I want some.

The Cable Guy said...

Brooke, Brooke, Brooke. I don't know why we keep going thru this. Let me "fix" you :) And if you catch feelins, that's okay too. I WANT YOU TO!! lol!

There is no reason you should be suffering like this, let me help you ;)

Yolanda said...

LMAO @ Rameer.

That's the LEAST amount of words you've ever typed. Haaaaa!

Anonymous said...

Last bitches!! How about that?!?!

LOL @ The Fury...

This blog make me wanna call a certain person that don't need to get called. For me I get hornier when the weekends hit, from Friday to Sunday... Knowing I don't have to work on weekends and can go to bed when ever time I want to, those days just get me going crazy!

It's been like 4 months and a sista been fiening like a mug!

Anonymous said...

Damn, I want some too!!

Yolanda said...

Oh, weekend horny fo'sho!

It's the worse.

Pretty Ricky What Dey Call'em said...

You know what's worse than weekend horny? Weekend and it's raining horny. WOOOOOOOOO Might make your head pop off!!!

Yolanda said...

Weekend horny, it's COLD and it's raining AND you've got a fireplace and lots of wood (but not the wood you really want)!

Good gawd ya'll.

E.Payne said...

Brooke,

I'm sittin' here listening to Jill Scott thinking, you're giving her a run for her money in the smoldering-spillin'-oozin'-out-all-over-the floor sexuality department.

You need to stop, gettin' a brotha thinking like this on a hot day.

Happy Friday.

The Fury said...

"You don't want none" spoken like a person that's scurred. Don't be scurred, Brooke. I won't be gentle. That's right I said WON"T be.

"Never too hot, never too cold for f#ckin" - Sweetdick Willie

kanika U said...

Hi Brooke,

I'm 35 and stilly horny. I ain't ashame of being a little hoochie mama. I say buy you some magnums and get to bangin'...soil your wild oats! Don't let the psychological bullshit talk of "oh I'm a ho or slut" get in your way. Girl you burn calories during sex...I mean by the end of my sex sessions I'm usually drenched in sweat. I am not playing. Your sex drive will continue to go up especially if you work out alot, eat healthy most of the time, and cleanse your body (colonics) like I do. Try playing with hot wax and ice...your kitten will definitely be purring

Rameer said...

***wipes brow after reading Kanika's comment***

The Fury said...

Now see I need to know Kanika U! Honey, you just gave us the Dr. Ruth but sexy answer. She gave us some personal info, some health info, some suggestions and her preference for size... Holla!

Now since it's true your sex drive goes up when you work out and eat healthy..hell, the way Brooke is talking she must be working out "errday!" LOL

kanika U. said...

LMBAO! Got lots of love for ya Rameer!

Anonymous said...

Brooke,

Does "The Locksmith" need to come out of retirement? LOL ....

Just let me know. I'll gladly dust my keys off for you. ;-)

Craig n 'em said...

Damn Brooke, there's a lot of FIREFIGHTERS on this blog tryin' to grab your KITTY KAT from out the tree....Let's see who has the tallest ladder...

On the next episode of RESCUE ME...

Brooke said...

LMAO!!!

Just got back from lunch and y'all are killin me!

Kanika, I like how you think girl!

And I don't break a sweat for anything less than magnums, fa sho!

Fury, you KNOW I'm not skerred. You KNOW this.

E, giving Ms. Jill Scott a run for her money? You think so? Awww shucks! Cuz she's one sexy biatch!

Now when I think about it, I HAVE been working out more now that I'm trying to follow up behind Ms. Monica's ass and this triathlon training. Not saying I swim and run with her, but I do bike more, and that spinning class has been drenched in sweat when I'm done - just ask her how I looked after class yesterday. That JUST MIGHT be contributing to all this hot and sexiness I've been feeling!

Geesh...I can't take it!

Rameer said...

Fury - you cool, but back off Kanika! If anyone on the blog was ever to quench that thirst, I def one to be HER Gatorade G...

"Is it IN you?" LMBAO!!!

Oh, and Yolanda? OVARIES.

Brooke said...

Ovaries?

I'm afraid to ask.

Craig n 'em said...

I got love for all the fellas on this blog...

But seriously??? Just make the shit happen...

I propose each of you take Brooke out on a date...And she blogs about the experience...MAKE A DATE WEEK...ONE DAY for each date...

Someone has to represent for her VIRGINIA...Now who's gonna be her POLETICIAN????

PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS...

Or the way you guys are talkin ish on this blog...PUT YOUR DICK WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS...HA HA...

NOW, THAT'S A (TAP DANCING) CHAAALLLEEEENGE!!!

Brooke said...

Craig, in case you haven't figured it out yet, the men on this blog are FULL OF SHIT!!! They wouldn't take it if I wrapped it up in ribbons and gave it to them :)

Rameer said...

Craig, I feel you...

However...

***From Dolemite - John talking to prostitute after some good lovins***

"I am Joe Blow, THEE Loverman...YOU should be payin' ME!!!"

Why can't Meryl take ME out on a date? I'd have to travel to NYC, get a hotel, rental car...and, I don't know the lay of the land, what's poppin' on what day, etc.

We like to be taken out too, ya know. And, if she plays her cards right, she *might* get some...

LMBAO!

Brooke said...

...see what I mean?

The Fury said...

Rameer - Now if there's anything that I'm NOT is a hater or a CB. (doing the hand flourish) Step on pass me brother, your Kanika is waiting...LOL

I'd take the challenge. Of course, Brooke could tell the first part of the date on her blog..the end would have to be on mine....NSFW!

Rameer said...

Fury...

***in Denzel Washington AMERICAN GANGSTER voice***

"My man."

Meryl...

You got plenty of people who would take the "challenge".

Methinks YOU may not be up for it. I'm sure other women would love to have a blog with guys offering their services daily...

Brooke said...

They don't offer services daily :) Just Cable Guy maybe... :)

And they talk all this mess on the blog, not offline. With the exception of cable guy, all the men on here who have "offered up servies" have only done it on the blog just to have something to say. They not serious! LOL!!

Of course Oprah's show was all about sex today...great.

The Cable Guy said...

Maybe they don't think YOU'RE serious, so THEY not serious. You know I am, but at the same time, I think the guys on here know you're a good girl :) Maybe they don't think you'd actually do it. Which, judging by your blog, you probably wouldn't. Sounds to be like you'd rather suffer than lay down with a clown...and I don't blame you.

But if you change your mind.... ;)

Brooke said...

are you saying you're a clown? :)

The Cable Guy said...

LOL!!

No, I don't think so, but we've talked about this and what you think of me and my intentions. I just have to try to show you rather than tell you. And I'm willing to do that, but most men aren't. They don't want YOU, they want SEX with you. I'm not afraid of you Brooke, and I would gladly take on the responsibility of what it would mean to be with you.

Most men on here won't say that, or mean it. Not that that makes them bad, but they not ready for you.

Rameer said...

Wow.

Um, I gotta say...for a guy to publicly put himself out there LIKE THAT...

I gotta respect it. Bruh man is FOR RIZZEALS...

I said before, if we lived closer, we'd have something to really talk about. But I'm a realist. And I *know* I ain't coming to NYC any time soon, nor are you coming to Buffalo.

I applaud Cable Guy for being a man about his, though. He puts it out there...and we know he ain't playin'...

Brooke said...

What people say on blogs and what they say offline are TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS. Cable Guy knows what I mean by that and he knows my position on everything he's saying. He's taking comfort in knowing I won't divulge any private conversations, as most of my peeps on here know I won't do since I know alot of you personaly, but trust me...I know EXACTLY where Cable Guy is coming from.

While I applaud him for putting it all out there, it takes alot more than just "talking." He knows I love him like cooked food, but we'll just leave it at that ;)

Rameer said...

***cues up Jay-Z's "Ignorant Sh*t"***

"So don't believe everything your earlobe captures
Its mostly backwards
Unless it happens to be as accurate as me
And everything said in song you happen to see
Then, actually, believe half of what you see
None of what you hear even if its spat by me
And with that said..."

MERYL, I'll perform a triple lindy into the na na and proceed to perform skilled intensive surgery on said na na, followed by concentrated deep tissue massages to help with the recovery period.

You will forever walk like Clint Eastwood in THE OUTLAW JOSEY WALES, and shudder at the sheer mention of our safe word..."toboggan".

LMAO!!!

Brooke said...

??? :-)

Rameer, you crazy too :)

Georgia Peach said...

Love this topic - haven't read all of the other comments, but it's so funny you posted this one b/c I was literally about to call a guy (I blogged about) that I met at the club a while back. Hormones are a bee-yotch. Glad to hear it isn't just me right now.

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