Monday, July 27, 2009

MR. NICE GUY vs. MR. DICK

Happy Monday!

Monday blogs are so hard for me, because I find that I have no idea what I'm going to write about. I usually just have to wait until something hits me or someone suggests a topic - which is what happened today. So let's see if I can bring to life a subject given to me. Since it's Monday, I'll try to make it light and funny...well...with my kind of humor anyway.

A coworker was telling me that a guy she had been seeing seemed like a great guy at first, but then turned into a dick and she didn't see it coming. Now I find that there are usually signs that a guy (or a girl) is an asshole. But she asked me to tackle this issue from a woman's point of view, so the guys will just have to roll with us today :-) Her question? How do you tell a Mr. Nice Guy from a Mr. Dick?

A lot of men I know feel that the old saying "nice guys finish last" still holds true to this day. What is it about a nice guy that even nice girls don‘t want? This should be an interesting subject to kick off the week since most women think nice guys are extinct, and the nice guys scattered around the world say that they're hidden in plain sight.

So today, I'll try to list some of the guidelines we women use to tell if you're a Mr. Nice Guy or a Mr. Dickhead. Ladies, get ready to take an honest look at yourselves too!

That First Phone Call

Mr. Nice Guy - Gets your number in the club or wherever you meet him, and calls you the very next day. If he doesn't want to appear TOO thirsty, he'll wait a day or 2, but usually it's the next day. During the phone call, he sounds genuinely interested in what you have to say and makes good conversation all the way up until you get sleepy or YOU decide to get off the phone and call it a night (or call your boyfriend or other guy you met). The next day he calls you back like he said he would the day before and asks you how your day was. While he's listening to you attentively, you're ready to get off the phone and do other things (or another guy). When you talk to your girlfriends, you carelessly bring up the new guy you met and tell them that he seems really nice.

Mr. Dick - He spits some hellafied game at you in the club like the Mack Daddy Pimp that he is and gets your number...along with about three other women that night. He waits about four or five days to call you, but when he does he‘s a little more charming than Mr. Nice Guy. He pretends to listen attentively while making comments such as "for real?" or "Girl, you bullshittin'" while playing video games or flipping through channels. He quickly turns the conversation to sex, and after a juicy exchange where you‘re all moist and tingly, he tells you he'll call you back later. You don‘t hear from him for about two or three days. When he does call you back, you're so glad to talk to him again that you brush off the fact that he didn‘t call you back like he promised. He'll get off the phone first like he did last time, and you'll play yourself and make a sly remark like, "I guess I'll talk to you in another three days" so he gets the hint that you want to talk sooner. He hangs up and you don‘t hear from him for about a day or two. During that time, you talk to your friends and tell them about this guy you met that you are feeling but he doesn‘t seem to be that into you.

Sex the First Time

Mr. Nice Guy - He takes you out or invites you over for a home cooked meal for the fifth or sixth time - you've been dating kinda steady. He rubs your feet while playing nice music. Around the sixth or seventh date, you finally decide to give him some because you're horny. The sex is cool, but it was nowhere near fantastic because you weren‘t really into it like you know you could've been - and you really ain't feelin' him like that. When you wake up (if you even stayed the night), you give him a hug and maybe a peck on the lips and never come back. He calls you, but your conversation is short - or worse...you don‘t even bother to answer. You're almost always busy when he tries to see you again. You tell your girlfriends that he would make a better friend than a boyfriend and that he would make a good guy for "so and so."

Mr. Dick - He invites you over after 10pm (can‘t risk someone seeing you come in) or takes you out to the movies and Burger King if you're lucky. To get you in the mood, he puts on some R. Kelly and offers you some Hennessey and Coke to increase his chances, while breaking out the baby oil to give you a rub down. During his full body massage, he tongues your body better than your loofah sponge ever could before slipping on a condom without you knowing it, and slides right in. It feels so good that you forget the fact that this is y'all's first date and you let him hit it every way imaginable. After he rocks your world, you pass out in his bed (if he even lets you stay cuz he "has to work"). When you leave, you attempt to give him a hug and a kiss - and then you head home with your hair looking a hot mess. The next day you tell your closest girlfriend how he blew your back out and that you hope he doesn‘t think you get down like that on the regular. For the next few days, every time the phone rings you hope it‘s him.

Cheating

Mr. Nice Guy - Calls and checks in like a good boyfriend and gives you the space and freedom you need to hang out with your girls. He surprises you with little gifts all the time. He cooks for you and is even nice to all of your friends...including the male ones. When you don‘t call or seem distant, Mr. Nice Guy has a hard time sleeping because he suspects something is up, but you don‘t care. You wind up cheating on Mr. Nice Guy one night and tell your girls how bad you feel for doing such a nice person dirty like that. The sex between the two of you starts to dwindle because you start sexing the guy you cheated with even more. Now when Mr. Nice Guy wants to have sex, you make excuses. When you do have sex, it‘s more of a sympathy screw than anything else, and is less likely to be enjoyed by either of you. You tell your friends that you think the relationship is coming to an end because you two are "growing apart."

Mr. Dick - Never calls when he‘s supposed to and he accuses you of cheating every time you and the girls go out. He‘s never home at all times of night, and when he is he doesn‘t answer his phone because he says, "the ringer was off so he could sleep." When the two of you are talking on the phone, his line beeps like crazy, but he tells you its his boys Ray Ray, Craig 'n Nem trying to get him to go out. His phone never rings when you‘re at his place because his ringer is always turned off. You don‘t cheat on this guy - instead you do everything in your power to show him that YOU are not cheating. You lie and tell your girls how good he is to you.

Arguments

Mr. Nice Guy - Hates to argue, but when he does, he makes up for it by giving you some flowers or just sincerely apologizing - even if he hasn‘t done anything wrong. You argue with him in public, including arguing with him in front of his friends or yours. You make fun of him or take little stabs at him around other people and try to make him the butt of all your little annoying jokes. Mr. Nice Guy shrugs them off and smiles, all the while feeling embarrassed and irritated and secretly wants to choke the sh*t out of you. Although no one ever comes right out and says it, it‘s quite obvious that you don't respect him. You tell your girls that he's your bitch.

Mr. Dick - Hates to argue and you damn sure betta not neva argue with him in public or show your ass in front of company. You wouldn't dare talk back or try to clown him because he's already given you a list of do‘s and don‘ts. No, I'm not talking about a physical list - but more like a look your parents used to give when you did something wrong that told you you better straighten your ass up. If by chance the two of you do fight over something that‘s his fault, his apology sounds more like, "Baby, you know how I am...now get nekkid so we can make up." It‘s obvious who wears the pants in this relationship, and you better stay in your lane. You tell your girls that sometimes your man gets on your nerves...but he's not that bad.

Standing His Ground

Mr. Nice Guy - Always agrees to see the movie you want to see because he wants you to be happy... and hopefully you will like him more. Here‘s the big one - even when you know that you were wrong and he was right in a big argument, he just lets you have your say. You talk mad trash to Mr. Nice Guy and constantly threaten to leave his ass since the two of you can‘t "get along anymore." You tell the guy that you are cheating with that you're getting tired of your boyfriend and you ask him if he can come over.

Mr. Dick - Never has a problem speaking his mind because he‘s not worried about you not liking him. He has no problem seeing the movie you want to see since nothing else good is playing anyway, and he figures he'll get some cool points for it. What you like about Mr. Dick is that he'll tell you in a heartbeat when you are wrong. You used to threaten to leave his ass but stopped because he took you up on your bluff - so now you figure that isn't such a good idea anymore :-) Even though this is the guy that you cheat with, you tell your Mr. Nice Guy that you hate guys like him!

Dropping by Unannounced

Mr. Nice Guy - From the very beginning, you knew Mr. Nice Guy would have no problem with you stopping by if you so happened to be in the neighborhood. Since you were feeling him a little in the beginning, you made it a point to drop in whenever you got the urge - whether that was before the club or afterwards. Mr. Nice Guy has a nice, cozy place of his own stocked with all your favorite shower gels and ice cream, and one quick "I'm on my way call" shows you got it like dat! One day you stop by with your girl just to show her what a nice place he has. On the way home, your girl high fives you and tells you that you better keep that one - but what you gonna do about Tyrone? You laugh and say as long as Tyrone keeps handling his business, everything is all good.

Mr. Dick - This guy doesn‘t come right out and say it, but you just know not to pop up over his place...EVER. If you do, you might get your feelings hurt, cuz it‘s a good possibility you won‘t get in...even if you see his car out front. Chances are he either has company...or is waiting for some. You wouldn‘t dare chance just popping up after the club, so you text him first to see if he wants some late night booty. If he accepts, you wait until your girls drop you off and then jump in your ride and head to his house so you can go get your back cracked.

Meeting the Folks

Mr. Nice Guy - The perfect guy to bring home to momma and daddy. His manners are flawless and the guy can even hold a conversation with your father without giving off the impression he‘s afraid. While sitting around the room with your folks, he‘s able to converse about everything under the sun...from Barack Obama and Gates to sports and entertainment. After dinner -before your mother can even start to clear the table - he jumps up and offers to do it for her, along with the dishes. When he leaves, your mom and dad tell you that he‘s a good man and really has a great head on his shoulders. You smile and tell them that you knew they would like him.

Mr. Dick - This is the guy you bring home ONLY to confirm what you already knew. Some of these cats are as slippery as a liar trained to pass a Polygraph Test, but you know your mom and dad can see right through him. At your folks place, he responds only when spoken to and doesn't make idle chit chat. When your father asks him a question about current events, he dances around the subject better than Diddy at the BET Awards. He pretends to be interested in what your parents are saying, the whole time watching the clock and thinking of an escape. However, if he‘s a genuine Dickhead, he has already pre-arranged his escape route by telling you beforehand that he can only stay for a little bit because he has to work. Your father doesn‘t really get a take on this guy because somehow Mr. Dick managed to maneuver out of every man-to-man sit-down with him. After dinner, he may also help with clearing the table, but only after he sees your mother has already started. If she says, "Don‘t worry about it, I can handle it," he gladly sits his ass back down. When he finally leaves, your folks tell you that he‘s okay, but that last guy you had over was better. You tell them that they just gotta get to know him :-)

I hope you found these scenarios to be a little amusing. However, these are just some of the situations I've experienced firsthand or have heard from other women. There are no clear cut signs that fit all people when it comes to determining if someone is a Mr. Nice Guy (or Girl) or a Mr. Dick (or "Dickette") LOL. At the end of the day, we have to keep our eyes open, be honest with ourselves and trust our judgment.

Mr. Nice Guys are out there, but may not show up in a woman's life but ever so often. On the other hand, we've all had our fair share Mr. Dicks to the point where we should be able to tell the difference between the two. They're not all wolves in sheep's clothing. Why is it that women tend to fantasize about meeting Prince Charming, only to run the other way when a nice guy comes along? Is the saying "nice guys finish last" indeed true? Have we really journeyed so far away from the times when it was conceivable to imagine that a man would open his lady‘s door, pull out her chair and treat her like a princess?

Were all Mr. Dicks once Mr. Nice Guys? Is the real reason there are so many Mr. Dicks in the world today because Mr. Nice Guys often get left hanging? Tell me your thoughts on this one. Ladies - ask yourself, which do you prefer? Mr. Nice Guy or Mr. Dick? Or do you want a combination of the two? Be Honest! As Pretty Ricky would say, "No for real, stop playin'!"

Go!

-b

33 comments:

DMoe said...

First Bitches!!!

Yeah.

DMoe

THATgirl said...

FIRST B!TCHES!!!!!! I DID IT!!!!

THATgirl said...

DAMMIT DMoe!!! I don't even know you, but I don't think I like you very much LOL!!!

There's always tomorrow....

Brooke said...

DAYYUM!!!

Thatgirl ain't PLAYIN!!!

Sorry!

THATgirl said...

About the blog-this is funny--and so accurate! The only thing is the phone call---because actually, Mr. Dick may just call you that same night he gets the number--at 3am--talking about how he thinks you're so perfectly wonderful and didn't want to leave you in the club--at which point you know something is strangely up-and just delete his number then and there.

Then I was thinking, why must the nice guys be the pushovers? But after I thought about it-often times they kinda are.

I have a blog idea though Brooke--what's your email address?

Pretty Ricky What Dey Call'em said...

OK for real... I ain't gonna lie... I stopped reading after sex for the first time... you know why. Why Nice guy just gotta be a-ight. Personally, I think I'm Mr. Nice Guy and the sex with me happens to be dam good. You No Why??? Because I really care how you feel and I'm intent on getting you off way before I get mine!

So there...hmmmmph

Pretty Ricky What Dey Call'em said...

OK... now that I've had time to Woosaaaa... LOL... Nice guys finished last in college and maybe in your 20's.... but if you happen to be a nice guy in your 30's BOING CHICKA WOW WOW... It's all gravy!!! Especially if you are a nice guy..with a car.. a house.. a job and goals. WHAT!!!! All that shyt will make the nicest guy look like Morris Chestnut!!! Tell me I'm lying!

It's funny, I'm starting to catch up with some of my old lady friends who married the Cool Guy/Dick from college only to be divorced with 3 kids now!!! I am looking so scrumptious right now!!!

Brooke said...

Thatgirl - hit me at brookeybaby73@yahoo.com - thanks!

Pretty Ricky - keep reading! And the sex isn't wack because of HIM, it's because of what she THINKS of him. He could be great in bed, but she won't know it because he's not a CHALLENGE. It's all in her mind. Trust me!

Brooke said...

And I agree, nice guys in your 30's are the hot ish right now! They're usually taken tho. I've never been the one to run from Mr. Nice Guy. I can say with the exception of a couple, all of my exes fall into the "Nice Guy" category. But what's funny is most Nice Guys used to THINK that I wouldn't like them for some reason, so they never approached me. Alot of times, the Mr. Nice Guys shoot themselves in the foot because they assume most women wouldn't like or want them, so they either don't approach a woman, or they try to make themselves be a Mr. Dick so that they can get with the women who WANT a dickhead!

Annamaria said...

OK I'm going to let you bitches be first & second...LOL I was too busy in the dr trying to figure out what this kid is doing.. ANYWHOOOOO

My opinion is a Nice Guy has the potential to be a dick JUST as much as Mr. Dick has the potential to be Mr. Nice Guy... The same as it goes with women.... I'll use my nice guy as the example... I'm sure there are one or two women in his past that think he is a dick... I think he fits into the Mr. Nice Guy category according to this blog... NOW don't get it twisted I've called him a dick once or twice BUT HE'S A COOL DUDE...lmao... I think it has more to do with the connection you have with the person & how that person is looking at you & what they want from you. IF you aren't the woman that they want or they aren't looking for a commitment they are going to act like Mr. Dick.. and sometimes as women we allow it. BUT if you are that woman or they are ready for that commitment then they can be Mr. Nice Guy.
I'm going to say I was a lil disappointed that you made Mr. Nice Guy wack in bed... LMAO... LET THE RECORD SHOW MY MR. NICE GUY STILL GIVES ME BUTTERFLIES IN MY STOMACH WHEN I EVEN THINK ABOUT OUR "PRIVATE ACTIVITIES" AND THE BIG BELLY I AM WALKING AROUND WITH IS DEFINITELY PROOF OF THAT!!! lol

Annamaria said...

Oh and added note: If you give a dude your number at the club after you've been sloppy drunk & hanging all on him & grinding all on his shiznit especially if yo ass is past the age of 25 & should know better DON'T GET MAD AT HIM FOR NOT BEING MR. NICE GUY & WIFING YOU UP.... I wouldn't be encouraging my brothers to make a commitment to "THAT" chick either..LOL

Brooke said...

I want to make something clear. Mr. Nice Guy is not necessarily wack in bed. This is what I wrote: "The sex is cool, but it was nowhere near fantastic because you weren‘t really into it like you know you could've been - and you really ain't feelin' him like that."

It's wack because of HER, not HIM. It's not fantastic because of her THOUGHTS on him, not his skills per se. She's not into it like she could have been because she ain't feelin him...not cuz he's wack in bed. Please understand that women can NOT like a sexual experience simply cuz she's not into HIM, not because his sex is terrible. And on the same note, women can imagine sex to be better than it really is if she really likes the dude. It's all IN HER MIND!

Craig n 'em said...

This should have been titled:

MR. DICK vs. MR. PUSSY...

THATgirl said...

"My opinion is a Nice Guy has the potential to be a dick JUST as much as Mr. Dick has the potential to be Mr. Nice Guy..."

I find that to be totally true. It's just about the connection that two individuals have. Granted--some people may lean to one side or the other--they can all generally go either way.

And isn't this the truth!!:

"on the same note, women can imagine sex to be better than it really is if she really likes the dude. It's all IN HER MIND!"

A woman's mind can be a crazy thing.

DMoe said...

Interesting concept Brookey, and to think you had trouble coming up with this gem of a topic.

Personally, as one dude who was not an imposing physical specimen growing up, chicks who dug the dude for his physique didn't give me any problems. Then again, I didn't want theirs. *Well, i kinda did...

However, I'm OK with not being a certain female's type, but its the part where my "intangibles", my "upside," and my ability to be a "hellified individual" should be readily visible for all interested suitors to see.

I must also say, I'm not one to pop collars, or be flashy with what I have or can get. Bragging was/is never my thing.
Robust conversation, laughs and personal attention was my thing.

So that eliminates me from many scenes in the club, or anywhere else where the certain facade makes a difference.

Mind you, I dont consider myself a frog by any means, but I do know that Prince Charmings actually walk amongst us. Why are they not walking around with signs on? Well, because its a Prince thing.
You won't get another Prince.

YOU gotta be special enough to stumble upon it AND recognize him as such, and THEN proceed with what happens after that.

Its funny to me because as pretty ricky said, in your 30's, you are really just coming into your own.

Your becoming comfortable in your own skin, and it becomes evident as you grow (for some of us) and learn to enjoy, cultivate and find bliss in that skin.

With all this said, I love me some me. If I wasn't me, I'd be like "Damn, why I ain't him?" LOL.

A few weeks ago, I shared a conversation with Gab Union and Sanaa Lathan. It was a cool, frozen moment where I was introduced to them by someone they came up to greet, and without regard for anything, I spoke to each with a pleasant thought and continued talking. They didnt stay long, but as they left the conversation, I thought to myself that they bleed blood and breathe air just like me...And as for me and one of them? No worries. My body of work can hold up against the best of them. As far as I'm concerned, I could handle pretty much any woman, including Margaret Thatcher, the Queen of England and Salma Hayek.

What makes that possible is the part of ME where I'll take a deep dive into the things necessary to facilitate a good conversation, which leads to a good relationship, which allows dozens of other things to fall into place.

At the end of the day, people prioritize and adjust their sights accordingly. While I fully support women and their ability to set and adhere to standards, I tell people this all the time who dismiss folks for trivial pursuits...

For all the boxes dudes gotta have checked for yo azz to be interested, keep playing...

After a few years of foolishness after you let a "good dude" roll out, you'll be looking for a good combination of 66% of these requirements in no particular order:

1. Job
2. Teeth
3. Pulse

Your friend and mine,
Dmoe

Anonymous said...

I agree with most here, a man has the ability to be a nice guy and a dick at the same time. If dude is feeling you, then he's a nice guy. If he's not, he's a dick. Plain and simple.

Women choose to see what they want. If dude is fine, but a dick, they may put up with it longer just to have something nice to look at. If dude is not as fine as she'd like, he better be WONDERFUL in every other sense of the word, and even then it may not be good enough. We all grown up and mature at some point and realize what's important, but by then, it maybe too late.

Also, nice guys can easily turn into dicks if they feel that increases their chances of getting some ass. Just cuz a dude is "nice" doesn't mean he don't want none either. Nice guys are just as attracted to women for the same shallow reasons women are attracted to men. The "nice guys" on here can't tell me that they never wanted the model chick that were materialistic and shallow. They weren't checking for "nice girls" either...so all these "nice guys" on here tooting their own horn can be quiet! Y'all feel that yoiu're coming into your own now ONLY because these same model chicks got left hangin...but guess what, you STILL WANT THEM.

Men are men, no matter what. And women just have to learn to figure out which man they're going to put up with...a fine one, or a not so fine one. There is no "nice guy" and "dick" guy...all the same.

Annamaria said...

As usual someone will have a problem with an "anonymous" comment..LMAO
Today it's me. Blame it on 3 days of contractions & no sleep.

ANYWHOOO

Yes everyone wants something nice to look at. BUT as we GROW UP there has to be a total package. You hopefully ain't looking for the same thing at 35 that you were looking for at 25 or that really doesn't say much about you. I give most guys on this blog credit. Yes they may want the attractive female BUT they also want someone that they can have an intelligent conversation with also. Most of these dues (Rameer, D Moe, Ricky,Ant etc) are dudes who like to talk about LOTS of different things & if a girl can't hang with them OR if she's just a shallow shell I really don't think she's making the cut...
The same way most of the sisters that comment on this blog are looking for a fine dude but if they can't hang with him either then they ain't wasting my time. I mean Austin & I found our new favorite pastime being Jeopardy competitions... I couldn't do that with a pretty face & no brain. I have a handsome man with a mind. and a personality.

Anonymous said...

I agree, we all want something nice to look at. But you mean to tell me the nice guys look for "nice girls" too? Let's take Brooke for example since this is her blog. She's clearly a very smart woman. From her pic she seems to be beautiful. She has all her teeth. Has a good job. Loves her family. Has strong faith in God. She's funny...from the way she writes anway. She seems like a great catch. Yes? okay then.

How many single dudes are on thsi blog claiming to be "nice guys." That live near her...that talk about wanting a good woman? Why none of them step to her? with the exception of the cable guy bouncing around, none of them are looking to date her? Why? cuz they want something more chellenging, just like women do. Brooke is a nice girl, yet nice guys don't want her either...or they ain't steppin ot her. Gimme a break.

I agree with everything you said ANnamaria, but the people on this blog aren't necessarily who we're talkign about in the grand scheme of things.

Brooke said...

awww damn, why I gotta be the example? :-) LOL!!

Brooke said...

Oh, and thanks for all the nice words anonymous...

don't go making Annamaria go into premature labor!

The Cable Guy said...

Did I hear someone calling my name? :-)

I'm a nice guy looking for a nice girl, which is why I profess my admiration for Brooke daily. One day she'll come around ;)

But anonymous, you're kinda right. I was one of those guys who wanted the girls that the cool guys were getting. I think I'm a good looking dude, but I've always been skinny...kinda like a skateboard dude. The girls that went after the football and basketball players were the ones I wanted.

Now that I'm older, I see it was stupid, and I look for substance, not just looks. I'm not in my 30's yet, but from the sound of it I'm only gonna get better with time, so Brooke, you better snatch me up now! LOL!!

Annamaria said...

Don't worry my baby is full term! stubborn heiffer..LOL

Secondly. YOU SAID IT:
1. The nice guys have to live near her.

2. Be single & available

3. Want the same things that she wants.

4. Be looking for a relationship.

That may not fit the description of the men that read this blog. YET they are NICE enough to recognize Brooke for what she is worth & not waste her time with games.
Besides the fact that relationships are a 2 way street & these dudes can't throw themselves at her if she ain't going to reciprocate.
P.S. Brookie you know you is the shiznit... going back to my contractions now...LOL

Anonymous said...

yeah, she's the shiznit and single, cuz nice dudes don't want nice girls either. Not until their ass is 40 anyway :) Not wasting her time with games? no..they ain't wasting her time cuz they're too busy still pining over the "not nice" chicks! LOL!!

Brooke, you gonna be needing a sperm donor to have your baby on your own til these dudes wise up. Well, except for cable guy. I agree, snatch him up now! I say go for it!

Annamaria said...

Considering I know many HAPPILY married dudes in their 30's with wonderful wives that are also nice guys & great fathers. I'll let you believe that baffoonary.

Anonymous said...

Sure, ask Brooke if it's buffoonery. I know some too..key word being SOME. Not the MAJORITY tho, it's statistical fact, just like half of marriages ending in divorce and over 50% of black women NEVER getting married IN THEIR LIFE. That's a FACT. Not buffoonery.

Yolanda said...

I'm way late today...but let me add my 2 cents here.

All women need is a nice guy WITH a nice d!ck. The rest will fall into place (so I hear).

Brooke said...

Glad I'm the subject for today :)

But I don't mind. And I see both points.

I hate it when nice available guys, who are good looking, smart, have all their teeth, a pulse, a good job, never been married, no kids men say "wow, you'd make such a great catch...for someone."

So I get where anonymous is coming from on that point. I was once seeing this guy who lived 30 minutes from me, has a house, is in his 30's, never married, no kids, and always talked about getting married one day and having a family. We dated, but never gave ourselves a title. He always told me how great I was and what a great catch I was, but never really tried to take it to the next level. He'd say things like "women were never checking for me til now" and said how much he was enjoying the attention, but then say all that's missing in his life is a good woman.

I'd be thinking to myself, "uh... hello? What am I? Chop liver?"

After a year and him not getting any sex, he wondered why I was holding out. I'd say, "I'm allowing you to save yourself for that good woman you're looking for." He was like "huh?"

My point is, if I'm not good enough to be the good woman you're looking for, then I'm not good enough to lay down with.

And he was a nice guy too :)

I just wasn't his cup of tea, even tho he was clearly attracted to me and he loved being around me. Not all nice guys want ME...and I'm secure enough in myself to say that. Like Annamaria said, it has to go both ways.

All the stats that anonymous threw out there are true, you just have to hope that if there's someone out there for you, you're lucky enough to find them and know it when you do.

Brooke said...

Yolanda!!!

If only it were that easy :)

I've found plenty of nice d*cks, just weren't always attached to nice guys LOL!!

but isn't that always the way? :)

The Cable Guy said...

I just now saw Craig's comment, hilarious!

I think women want a nice guy who ain't a punk. But the minute we try to check you, you'll label us an asshole. But if we treat you wrong, you want us. How crazy is that?

Brooke said...

Don't speak for me cable guy, dudes who treat me wrong don't stay around for long. Not saying I've never given a bad guy the benefit of the doubt when I shouldn't have or kept one around a little longer than I should have, but it doesn't really take me long to make a joker be Black History if he acts a fool. Too old for that now.

Anonymous said...

You proved my point perfectly Brooke. That's all I was saying. Nice guy or not nice guy, you tend to end up in the same situation, so might as well choose the lesser of 2 evils and keep it moving.

Annamaria said...

I'm the one having contractions yet anonymous sounds like SHE (if anonymous is a he I'd be very surprised..) is the one in real pain.

I wish you the best & hope that you get over your issues of the past. Cause you might miss out on that nice dude while you comparing him to all those DICKS...

Anonymous said...

Wow, when did this become personal?

I was simply giving my view on the topic, just like everyone else here. I'm not in any pain as you say, but whatever. Just because my views and experiences differ from yours doesn't mean my opinions are less valid. They're opinions, that's it, nothing more or less.

And as I stated before, I actually AGREED with alot of what you said. But just because I want things to be a certain way doesn't mean that that's how they ACTUALLY are. If it were, nice women like Brooke wouldn't blog about some of her concerns...like having a baby on her own since she doesn't have any prospects in sight. Or her experience that she wrote about today about dudes who say she'd be great FOR SOMEONE ELSE. I just happen to relate to her because I feel like I'm in the same boat.

You're in love with a great guy who treats you like a queen - I read about it everyday. THis is my first time commenting, but I've been reading for months. I chose to comment anonymously because I'm behind a firewall at work and can't create an account. I don't want to leave any evidence that I'm blogging when I should be working and clicking the anonymous button is just easier than coming up with some fake name. But nonetheless, I AM a woman and these opinions are mine and mine alone. DOn't attack MY opinions just because they're different from yours. LIke I said, you're in love, about to become a mommy and life is great for you. That's wonderful and I wish you all the happiness in the world. But your reality and mine and Brooke's are very different, so you just look at it that way, and not assume I'm projecting any cynicism on men when I shouldn't be. My views only, no one else's...but they still carry weight.

Thanks Brooke for the topic, good one today...like always.

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