Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Yeah, it’s ME. I’m not apt to want to guest blog for Meryl much – I think she has great topics, has a wide variety of people who can step in for her, and I’m pretty cool with just offering up my opinions within the blog. But lately, due to a prevailing opinion that I find very disturbing, I wanted to chime in with something. And frankly, whether it elicits a lot of responses or not, I don’t give a damn – SOMEBODY needs to say it.
There are many different things that can be said about each sex. Some are flat-out true speaking in a general sense (most American men like sports, most American women like Oprah); other things are very dependent upon personal experience, environment, etc. I could easily write a blog taking men to task on certain behaviors, and I can do the same for women. I tend to lean more in the direction of not doing either, cuz I surround myself with people who buck said stereotypes, clichés and generalities. I will offer up my opinions about each sex’s general things, cuz that’s what we all tend to do at times.
This blog, however, is directed at women – and something I have noticed lately that actually gets under my skin.
I’m completely sick of women using the Steve McNair and Arturo Gatti tragedies as some type of women’s rallying cry.
Seriously. I’ve seen women of all ages, races, backgrounds, etc. try to use this crap as some old moment to almost rejoice and essentially say “mm-hmm – that’s what they GET.” Has certain women’s bitterness just absolved the fact that two men were MURDERED?!? Women are using these two TRAGEDIES as some ol' "Waitin' To Exhale" bullcrap-rallying moment. Truth is, there are PLENTY of older men with younger women, and vice-versa in recent years. Trying to make it like an older man being with a younger woman is somehow asking for it is, in my opinion, ignorant and socially irresponsible. It depends on THE INDIVIDUALS, regardless of age. Lorena Bobbitt was close in age to John Wayne Bobbitt - that still ain't stop her from chopping off his Jimmy! Brenda Harvey was the same age as Lionel Richie - never stopped her from BEATING HIS A$$! And Al Green took some hot grits to the face from his girlfriend, who was close in age, I believe - before she killed herself. Crazy comes in ALL flavors and ages. But I hear women talking, posting on Facebook and blogs, etc. – “that’s what THEY GET.” To any woman who has reveled in either or both tragedies – how would you feel if a large percentage of men said “that’s what she GETS” in reference to Jennifer Hudson’s mother being killed? Or grouped together to give the prevailing opinion that MJB, Tina Turner and Halle Berry all deserved the a$$-whoopings they’ve taken earlier in their careers? Laci Peterson – she’s responsible for her own death, right??
I mean, overwhelmingly, the people I’ve seen speaking ill of these situations are women - upset that McNair was cheating with a young chick, or that Arturo and his wife were said to be arguing earlier in the day and he had pushed her down during the argument. That justifies DEATH?? I don’t excuse any bad behavior – but I don’t think if anyone is cheating (McNair), they deserve death.
And the thing being missed in all of this – those women upset about the fact that athletes may date younger, naïve women don’t get that this has gone on since the dawn of time. Men with power, respect, adulation and currency always have dated younger women, cheated, and acted certain ways. Not all of them, and it’s not a prerequisite – but it’s also not a surprise. These deaths are NOT going to stop the 80% of professional athletes out there with “sidepieces.”
But that’s neither here nor there. My issue is the almost "happiness" that some have exuded at the death of two dudes. What went on in their households was THEIR business. Whether morally wrong or not, I don’t react with the same vigor and enthusiasm that some females have over these deaths. And it shows me just how bitter in one’s own feelings a person can be to take a tragedy and use it as a tool to jump on a soapbox to talk about how “these men are.”
A male co-worker said something to me the other day somewhat in reference to this. He said, “You know – when we as men gather, we don’t sit around and bitch about what’s wrong with the opposite sex or our ladies. But women don’t go a week without saying something negative about men or their man in general.” Now, I don’t agree that ALL women do that, and that no men bitch. But I WILL say that percentage-wise, I would agree that groups of women inevitably complain/talk about/put a critical lens to the male species way moreso than men. Even in the barbershop, we tend to clown the guy with that “all bitches are the same” mentality. “Naw, man – not MY girl. YOU just choose them hoes!” “Well, if you wasn’t so stuck on stupid choosin’ them crazy ones…” and so on.
I think it’s the overall attitude of some women that leads to this destructive mentality. Oh, men are not free of guilt – you have no idea how I can go on and on about our faults. But I’ve NEVER heard guys offer an overall “validated death” attitude over the murder of a woman by her husband/loved one. The closest thing was Nicole Brown Simpson, and that vibe was more like, “I understand how it could happen” rather than, “that’s what she GETS.”
I posted this as my Facebook status last week cuz it’s funny, but TRUE. It’s from comedian Corey Holcomb, who’s famous for his “ignant” comedy:
“Ladies, if you’re over the age of 30 and you still think ALL men ain’t sh*t…YOU’RE THE PROBLEM.”
I would say the same thing about a man over 30 thinking similarly as well.
Rest in peace to Steve McNair and Arturo Gatti - two of the great athletes of our time. Blessings go out to their families. Let them rest. The truth of the situation is what it is…it should not be used as an “Amazonian Masterhood” moment.
My $1.27 worth.