Tuesday, July 21, 2009
First things first...Happy Birthday to our very own Rameer Green! Happy Birthday Snookums!
Today isn't TMI Tuesday, but let's pretend it is :-)
So I went to see The Ugly Truth last night starring Katherine Heigl and "300 dude" Gerard Butler. Check out the clip.
I'm a romantic comedy fan, and if you have nothing better to do this weekend, go check it out. I thought it was funny. And apparently Gerard was on point with some of his advice when it comes to women, men and relationships...or so I was told last night. Anyway, what I want to talk about is a question that was asked in the film.
Spartan guy asked her, "so...how often do you flick your bean?" I was like, "huh...what did he just say?" Flick her bean?!
I'd never heard that one before! Hilarious!
In case you haven't figured it out and you were living under a rock with me, "flicking your bean" means masturbating. After I realized what he said, I knew it would be my topic for today. Because as we all know, I've been needing to "flick my bean" for a while now ;-)
In the movie, she said she didn't do that...that it was impersonal.
Uh...hello?! What could be more personal than flicking your own bean? It's called self love :-)
His response? "If you don't want to have sex with you, who else will?"
Without giving too much away, keep an eye out for the vibrator panties scene. Classic! I have to get a pair of these...like NOW. Oh the things I have in mind for those...woo-wee!!
So, needless to say, I'm am VERY serious about replacing my toy, and that movie was the jump-start I needed. Studies show that the number of women who have tried or who use sex toys regularly is over 50%. That means if you ain't using one, your girl is...sorry for the visual (unless you're into that sort of thing)
I remember telling my girls that I didn't own a toy. They looked at me like I was an alien and cooed, "you poor thing!"They took me out for my birthday, complete with dinner and a visit to The Pink Pussycat. They fixed that problem stat! I was totally embarrassed as we walked in and I saw all the sexual eye candy. The clerk came over and asked us if we needed help. I let them do all the talking as they seemed like the experts. The clerk was demonstrating toys like they were vacuum cleaners or something. The questions turned to me.
"Do you like clitoral or vaginal stimulation...which makes you cum faster?"
uh...that's none of your business!!! And certainly not something I feel my girls should know about me. I was kinda disturbed at how freely THEY talked to me about their "lady space."
I finally got the nerve to answer...and their solution? The Rabbit. In purple...my favorite color :)
It sat hidden in my nightstand for MONTHS. First of all, I live alone and have no man, so I'm not sure who I was hiding it from. Maybe myself? I was afraid of it. I was intimidated by it. I thought only certain women (read: lonely or sexually deviant) used those things. Not good girls.
Until one night....
I was watching Love Jones...one of my favorite movies ever. It makes you fall in love with love. I was mad I didn't have a man to cozy up to, and the scene where they're making love to Maxwell's sexy version of "Sumthin Sumthin" always gets me hot. I decided to go to bed and let my dreams take over. Like clockwork, I was having one of my wet dreams when I was awakened by a clap of thunder and I jumped up...all sweaty. I didn't get a chance to...uh...finish.
I slowly opened the nightstand door. I thought, "Hey, it's better than calling Tyrone." I wasn't sure if the batteries it came with still worked, but I was about to find out.
In the dark, I positioned it just right, and turned it on. The red meter rose all the way to the top and BZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!
When I tell you I felt like I was being electrocuted, that's an understatement. I shook so hard I felt like I'd caught Annamaria's taser between my legs. The sensation was SO INTENSE I almost fell off the bed. Electricity shot through my thighs, up my spine and into euphoria. In that moment, all I could think was, "what the hell TOOK ME SO LONG to try this?!" It changed my life.
This is not to say that sex with myself is better than with a partner. But my self-pleasure toy experience definitely adds another dimension to my sex life. Sex with a man you care deeply for who takes the time to explore your body is mind-blowing all by itself. But for those times when we don't have that connection with said man, BOB works just fine.
And if your man is into toys, then that's even better! Some men are intimidated by them, others say bring it on! If you're not sure how he'll react, bring it up casually over drinks or dinner by saying something like, "you know, I won this "silver bullet" at a bachelorette party...I wonder if it's really as good as they say."
If he says, "hmmm, interesting...tell me more"...then he's into it. If not and he changes the subject, he's not...and he's WACK!
So, needless to say, I have some serious shopping to do. Ladies, if you don't feel like making a trip, go online and browse - selfservetoys.com, babeland.com or smittenkittenonline.com come to mind. That way, you won't have to tell a sex clerk all your freaky secrets :-)
I never thought I'd be the type of girl to own, let alone actually USE a sex toy. Now I wanna get at least 2 of those suckas!
Now where did I put my platinum card...?? ;-)