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8 years ago
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
It's the first Tuesday of the month...so I guess we can try it again - TMI TUESDAYS!
That scene always cracks me up! Would you ever tell anyone you were running down the street in your damn drawers, hiding in a chicken coop because you were high? Nah...I wouldn't either :) I don't get drunk and I've never been high, so I have no really good drunk or high stories to tell...unless you count the time I got hit on by a lesbian the 1 out of 2 times I've been drunk in my life. But I digress....
It's hard for me to think of too many things to tell that are TMI. You all already know about my toy situation, which hasn't be rectified yet. I was hoping to get a gift certificate to The Pink Pussycat or something for my birthday, but no such luck ;) Oh well, guess I'll have to make a trip downtown and figure out what my next purchase will be, LOL!!
I could tell you about the "Godzilla" I had in my stomach (as Su would say). Last weekend I ate something that had my stomach bubbling all day...glad that's over. Last time that happened to me was when I ate Indian food off the street. And yes, I know better, but it was sooo good! Never again. My stomach erupted. Not sexy at all :)
So I guess I can keep this short and sweet today since it's TMI Tuesday. Anyone have anything to share that we don't really need to know? If so, let's hear it...I'm a little bit afraid :-)
Go!
-b
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78 comments:
FIRST!!!!!!! TMI HAHAHA
FIRST!!!!!!! TMI HAHAHA
one of these days annamaria...one of these days!
lol
They're gunning for you now Annamaria! Watch ya back! lol!
LOL - Brooke I've had one of those "godzilla" moments at work and discovered through one of my co-workers that we have a private bathroom on the main floor of our building in the studio. Ever since then if I ever have any issues I'm there.
That story is hilarious...
Speaking of drunk I've been falling down drunk and sick drunk on a few occasions. Once (early-ish) in my career at the Def Jam Holiday party. Everybody at work was talking about how good a time I had the next day. So embarrassing. Since then I've tried to tone it down a lot, but I'll admit I got twisted on my birthday this year and was home sick by 6:30 on my actual birthday. Damn frozen mojitos! I actually drink much less now, but when I decide I want to have fun then I have my fun.
My one original TMI for the day- I really think waxing is the devil's work. Why do we have to do it as women. UGH...always so damn painful.
well brooke if you still looking for the perfect toy check out adamandeve.com they specialize in those things toys,games you name it they got it. check it out. enjoy.
triniese
Another toy suggestion from a friend of mine:
http://www.bootyparlorparties.com/PublicStore/product/Paul,124,1.aspx
brooke....it's funny u decided to use a clip from Friday b/c it came on this weekend & I thought of you!!!:-) I don't have any TMI....but just wanted to say HI....OH
--I thought this was pretty much NOT something I wanted to hear....yesterday the little boy who lives next door was out playing with his sister(who is 5) & my son(who is 2)..im cleaning off the car, etc..
---he proceeds to tell me abt a movie where the woman opened up her mouth to sing & a lizard went in & pooped!(he thought this was hilarious)--meanwhile, he starts eating the snow & spitting it uot going "phatuey!"..like that----HE IS 7!...then he proceeded to tell me how it ws soo cold a dog was peeing & it just froze while he was going...he thought this was too funny & kept repeating it( he was telling ME...not the other kids..I finally was like 'THATS ENOUGH!' & he looked at me really surprised like...
--I mean I know kids are gross out & think stuff like that is funny, but I couldn't take another story!!
ok..enjoy the week.....PRAY for my best friend:some company flew her in for an interview tomorrow!.I hope she gets it, so she can come home from CHI-TOWN!!!:-)
Triniese! We MUST talk when I come down to get my reimbursement check! LOL!! You can best believe I'm gonna check it out.
I thought Liz was having a party? Liz, you need to handle that!
Glee, I only wax eyebrows and a lip, nothing else. I can't bring myself to do it anywhere else. If I need to get rid of hair, I'm "Nairing" it...wax down there scares the bjeezus outta me!
I'll be checking out that site as well Glee!
Karen, that boy sounds like he has issues. I would have told him to hush up too...ewww! Kids are crazy sometimes.
I'll say a prayer for your friend!
She's lucky that she's pregnant or we would have gotten her by now!!! lol
okay, back to the task at hand...
I have really crusty feet. No, I mean really crusty feet. It gets worse during the winter time. On a particular dry spell, i scratched my man. He thinks they are "disturbing" but I am too embarassed to go to get a pedicure...
I know they will be talking sh!t about me in Korean! Eben thought I don't speak it, I KNOW what they will be thinking!!
Perhaps I'll go to somewhere in Queens...this way I'll have less of a chance of spotting them again!
*rubbing hands together with evil grin*
EJ - Love your story and just go get the pedicure girl...I have to do it every couple of weeks and then I try to scrub in between. There's a product called Lemon Shea Butter rub by Carol's daughter that is AWESOME. I swear by it and honestly my feet are crusty too when I haven't scrubbed them into submission.
Phillygrl...hope your friend gets the job! I'll send up a prayer for her.
I want the party but i have to get a rep to come out...
They have people for that who come to your house with samples and everything!
I'll get back on the grind!
Oh and Brooke - the idea of Nair down there scares me more than the wax ever will. I don't want to burn my girl - she's sensitive.
Liz,
DO YOU KNOW MY PREGNANT BUTT WILL TASE YOU???? SEE THAT IS WHY YOU HAVE CRUSTY FEET CAUSE YOU ARE PICKING ON PREGNANT WOMEN!!! LOL
I can't remember the last time I drank (probably the day I got pregnant!!! LOL)
Burn? Nair doesn't burn. Wax on the other hand can rip skin - OUCH! I would die!
Annamaria, drinking probably got you in the position you're in now :) That and a lack of contraception :) Ha!
When I drink now, I usually only drink one drink...and it's the same one everytime. It has no effect on me anymore. I haven't been drunk in 10 years.
- I saw Watchmen...what a ridiculously superb movie!
Now on to some TMI tidbits...
- There's an older woman I work with who I can't help but think of how good she probably is "behind closed doors"...based on body type, personality, and convos in the past. I'm not the only man who thinks this...
- I not-so-secretly think that if a woman says I'm not "big enough" for her, she must've taken on the 90's Syracuse football team in a gang-bang. Not saying I'm the biggest or anything, but based on popular opinion, I fulfill the need pretty well...lol!
- I sooooo want an excuse to punch someone a certain person at work, but I think this person senses that and won't give in to the opportunity for me...dammit!
- I wish we didn't have to move our bowels. No, really - I hate taking a dump! I don't like anything related to the arse...it should be just to clutch during intimate moments, in my opinion...
- When I was in high school, I liked to blow "silent but deadlys" when I was in a room full of older white people.
- My brother once cut off one of my eyebrows as I slept to get me back...so I had the band-aid thing going way before people attempted to make it a fashion statement (albeit to cover the fave that I had NO EYEBROW).
- I think your average white person is nastier than your average Black person. F'd up, but I'm just saying.
- When I was in college, my boys knew me as "The Clean-up Man" due to the number of girls who had boyfriends I would steal away from said boyfriends/dude they were seeing. They used to say Ill Al Scratch's "I'll Take Her" featuring Brian Mcknight was my theme song...LMAO!!!
Hmmm...I think that's enough TMIs to drop...I don't wanna scare or offend anybody TOO badly...lol!
Speaking of NASTY KIDS.... We had the unfortunate pleasure of having to take the kids to Chuck E Cheese this weekend. It was there that I discovered I don't like kids..LOL. NOT ALL KIDS... Just most of them...
AND I almost SLAPPED THIS LIL BOY. He pushed my baby Aaron... And if that wasn't enough when I yoked him up for pushing my baby (YES I DID YOKE HIM UP!! LOL) the lil monster sneezed on me... I had to do a quick woosaaa in order not to kill this kid.
Brooke: well get you down to the village & replace BOB...
And there were a couple of factors that contributed in my gettting pregnant!!! LOL..
Don't have a major TMI to share, but today is my last day off the Master Cleanse.
Hooray for me!
And since they say you have to have a laxative tea once in the morning and once in the evening...well one day I almost had a HUDE mess of an accident. LMAO
BTW, Brooke, it was good seeing you Friday night.
Annamaria, I love your tasering self
EJ, good old fashion vasaline works wonders for the feet. At night after your bath, but a generous amount on your feet and the put some socks on. Do that every night and trust me you'll see a difference.
Oh and Georgia Peach, I'm with you, my girl is just way too sensitive for some suff. LOL
Philly Girl - I pray your friend gets the job
Rameer, if you don't stop talking about Watchmen, I'm gonna come up there and cut your other eyebrow off :) LOL!!
So you're an ass clutcher huh? Interesting :) And how big are you exactly? Don't say you don't know, you KNOW!
Chuck E. Cheese is a germ fest - the flu waiting to happen!
Peggy, was great seeing you Friday too and congrats on completing your cleanse. Laxative tea sounds scary. Rameer is probably cringing right now :)
Chuck E Cheese is a haven for the demons of the world to congregate. I despise anyone & everyone who wants to throw their childrens birthday parties there & if any of you do PLEASE do not invite me...LOL Of course the kids have been invited 4 times in the last 2 months every weekend that WE end up having them all by people from their mother's side of the family.. IT FIGURES.
Rameer, you're too funny!
Hee Hee Hee
Rameer...
Think about how you would feel if you didn't poop??? You'd feel full & bloated ALL the time. LOL
BUT I can relate to you on the punching someone. There are a FEW people lately that I want to tase soo bad. But unfortunately I can't.. OR SO THEY TELL ME.
Brooke...it was soooooooooooo good! I mean, they part where they...and they...and u shoulda saw how he put...and how how was she???
LMAO...
As far as how big...unh-uh. I don't do that, and I don't compare, cuz I have no idea what a woman has been exposed to. I'll only say I'm a mouthful...
LMAO! It IS TMI Tuesdays, right?
I actually did cringe a little when I read the words "Laxative tea"...yuck!
Peggy...thanks! Lol...I don't TRY to be funny...guess it just happens.
Brooke - if these damned people leave me alone, I'll be able to burn and mail your CDs today...here's to hoping.
Annamaria, I am NOT picking on you!! I am LETTING you have first since you are pregnant! :-)
Georgia Peach: there is this thing called coochie cream that is like a shaving cream but when the hair grows back, it grows back like you used nair.
here is some more tmi: i am allergic to nair "down there"...that sh!t had me itching for DAYS!!
Annamaria - I just mean couldn't God have created us a little differently so that pooping wasn't necessary? So that urinating was all we needed to do?
I just don't like things related to the arse, unless somewhat sexual in nature...and that DOESN'T include anal...yuck!
TMI? Lol...
Liz,
Thanks for LETTING me be first... Please be advised. I am LETTING YOU LIVE! LOL
Rameer. YES VERY MUCH TMI!!! LOL
But then again it is TMI Tuesdays.. Although I really haven't wanted to disclose much! lol
peggy: how much weight did you lose on the master clense? was it 2 weeks?
annamaria: i hope your baby isnt as violent as you! :-)
keep it up...one day they may sneak up behind you and tase yo in yoru sleep! just sayin'
rotf!
Liz,
I am fully confident that this kid is going to come out holding a taser & buzz the crap (sorry Rameer) out of the doctor. If this is a girl. The world better watch out. LOL...
yay! cd's...I'm hoping Rameer!
and you're right, size is all about perception. I think you're also the only guy I know who isn't the least bit intrigued by anal sex. You DO exist :)
I wonder if they sell tasers at Babies R Us?
Brooke - EVERY GUY U KNOW except me is intrigued by anal sex???
***In Riley Freeman voice***
"EWWWWWW...(Ninja) u gay!"
Just yucky. Yuckity yuck yuck YUCK. Excuse me - I'm going to go wash my hands and arms...I just got the willies.
TMI, indeed.
EJ, I'm horrible...I don't own a scale. I'm too scared of them.
Hee Hee Hee
I did a total of 9 days, but even afterwards, I'm only allowed to drink fruit juices and broths and then salads for at least for a week. Then slowly introduce solids back into my diet.
But I do know I've lost something cause I feel it in my clothes.
I had to give my Boo's mom my measurements about a month ago. She was going Nigeria and wanted to have a dress made for me.
Side Note: I LOVE HER!
Anyhoo, what I'll do is measure myself and I'll be able to at least know how many inches I've lost...
Brooke: The Babies R Us in NY doesn't sell tasers. BUT if you are willing to take a drive to Connecticut then YUP!!! :)
Rameer I don't think Brooke meant it in a way that every guy wants it done to them (although there are a few of those.) I think she meant it as most of them are interested in doing it to a woman.
Peggy YOU ARE GOOD GIRL! I don't know if I could do that.
Peggy...either way, it still gets a Mr. Yuck symbol on the front of it!
oops! I meant Annamaria - Peggy was the last name I saw...
Yes Rameer, EVERY guy I know besides you and one other one I know are all at least interested in trying it once. And for the life of me I have no idea why. I've never tried it, and I can say with about 99.99999999% certaintly I never will. I don't see the reason. And it seems like it would be messy to me. Why a man would want to put his thang thang there, if he's heterosexual, is beyond me. Call it taboo, call it whatever you want, it's just not something I have an interest in doing.
A Nigerian dress sounds awesome!
Brooke/Rameer: I am totally convinced that the obsession with anal is basically just doing something "forbidden". It's a very taboo subject & most people don't do it but you know how it is when you tell someone they shouldn't do something. It makes them want to do it more.
A nigerian dress does sound awesome. You have to give us details when you get it.
hey people!!!
Ok its March!!! Think I can have my sister back now.....All this partying!!!!!
You ever see someone just checking out a boogie before they eat it?!?!?! I mean really what are you looking for???? If its gonna be a good one?
Ok anal sex....yuck.....You ever have a hard time getting out a poop...That ish is painful so why oh why would you want someone to put something equally cumbersome inside....At least once the poop is out you feel instant relief!!!!!
Plus I don't think I would want sperm swimming up my intestine.....
Every hole on the body has a purpose....stick to the original....
ok gotta get kyce....be back...
Back door entry...No!
Mine says, "DO NOT ENTER"
She came back this weekend, told me she got me two made. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THEM
I'll let you know Brooke and Annamaria
Did someone say Anal Sex?
Nicole: Both Sandee & I have birthdays this month sooooooo we may have to hold your sister for ransom...LOL
Craig I knew once word got out that we were talking about the poopoo place you'd come out of hiding.
I really don't know if it's my hormones but I REALLY HATE PEOPLE TODAY!!!!!!!!!!
***climbs up to highest mountain on Earth, turn on super-amplified microphone***
YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!
Stop talking about the bad place! It's only 4 porcelain deliveries, NOT deposits!!!
Brooke - burning your 1st CD now...not sure I will get to mail it out today, though. So busy...
How and the hell did we get off into anal sex?
On another note I've never tried it (does sound too damn messy for me too as a fellow Germ-o-phobe), but I've heard it is very pleasurable.
Peggy congrats on your cleanse- I did one of the Whole Foods ones and then promptly proceeded to eat the same crap that I'd been eating before. I might do another one in a couple of months. Mine was very gentle and I could continue eating real foods if I chose on my cleanse although I was taking lots of (VERY MILD) laxatives.
Georgia Peach... apparently in the blog world Diareah & anal sex go hand in hand...which now that I say that sounds EXTREMELY messy! lol
Rameer must be ready to slit his wrists...
Thanks Georgia Peach
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa Ha
Good point Annamaria!
Rameer you okay?
I think we've officially traumatized Rameer :)
Craig comes out of hiding for anal sex...unbelievable ;)
LOL... we soooo have traumatized Rameer. We found his Kryptonite..LOL
Of course Craig would come out of hiding for that.. AND WEED! lol
Word on the street is that women who take the master cleanse are really preparing themselves for ANAL...
That's what I HEAR...But it makes TOTAL sense to me...
LOL!!! Well, maybe that makes it less messy. I would think that anal would be something you need to prepare for and set a date, not something to be done on a whim. Gross.
LOL... I can't believe I'm about to agree with Craig BUT THAT REALLY DOES MAKE SENSE...LOL BUT Brooke I would think the Diareah would make it MORE messy not less messy... you know what I really don't think I want to think about this..LOL
I so enjoy reading through the comments lol!!!! Peggy congrats with finishing the master cleanse.
Craig you're a fool. That is too damn funny about your thoughts as to why women do the master cleanse.
Rameer ever since I've known you you've always been blunt and honest Mr. Mouthful lmao!
Brooke could you imagine if you did TMI Tuesday every week (that would've been a H.A.M.
Notice how I'm not sharing TMI...uh uh. I'll be an observer today hee hee!
Serena don't worry about it. I didn't share anything either..
So this is what I GOOGLED...
In 2008...Master Cleanse usage increased two fold compared to 2007...During this time...
Anal bead purchases...Up 210%
Finger condoms...Up 220%
Astroglide...Up 335%
Sexually related Emergency room visits.....down 37%
Sounds like Craig has another blog forming in his head :)
I would do it every week if I felt people would share more, but I think once a month is all we can handle...especially Rameer :)
I need to write a blog about at what point in ones APEX OF HORNINESS does one feel the urge to lick ones um..POO POO PLACE (Thank you Ana) ...I believe YOU people call it "Tossing Salad"...Is this temporary insanity? Seriously...Is it? Here is my Blog title...
"Does one have to be HORNY or CRAZY to lick one's SANITATION DEPARTMENT?
LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO!
I have to agree with that. Horny AND crazy...cuz ewwww! LOL!!!
....or in the HBO jail special :)
Make sure you put that clip of Chris Rock in your blog if you DO write it! LMAO!!
Glad the PooPoo Place name is catching on.
Craig you are absolutely freaking HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love your blog idea & will definitely be looking forward to it.. With my evil thoughts lately I've had a couple of blog titles too.
I went to an open mic two weeks ago and a poet said he was going to do a piece that was banned from the national slam competition. No one knew what to expect until he went into how much he loved tossing salads and went on and on..he freaked everyone out...EVERYONE!
It was bananas! Craig you should've been there to give your stats on anal sex vs. the master cleanse to top off his poem.
It was unreal...I see why it got banned...
Worst part...he wasn't much to look at it either and in the beginning of the open mic said F*** Obama he ain't do nothing for me. Now he was going places he had no business being in more than one sense!
LMAO @ the stats and blog topic. Can't wait for this...
Serena - EW! That is gross...
I think I will use the word poo poo place from now on to refer to my anal region.
No way in hell i'm licking somebodies ass...
It was gross and the worst part was the open mic was at a restaurant so people were trying to eat while this cat was talking about the poo poo place!
Nasty!!!!!!!!!!!
Rameer told me offline that he's off of my blog for the rest of the day after all the anal talk. If he knew we were talking about
"tossing salads" he would have fainted by now :-)
Serena, that cat had issues. HAS issues. Just not cool at all :)
TMI Tuesdays are catching up to Random Thoughts Thursdays :-)
Serena...
Let me get this right...
A dude wrote a poem...not only wrote this poem...but so eloquently sang this poem to a room full of people...with confidence mind you...on how much he loves eatin' ASS...and then he turns around and says "Fuck Obama"...
He eats shit...therefore he speaks it...
Craig you're right! And he was passionate about it!!!! Needless to say he asked me if I was coming back and I said, "Uh yeah...one day." I'm so glad I didn't get on the mic that night.
Long story short that was the first and last time for me. Worst part is he was filling in for the host that was out that night and my girl is the new co-host and even she is asking herself, "WTF did I get myself into!"
Yes you talk it...you eat it! LOL! Well said Craig!
Tossing Salad...What that has to do with vegetables is beyond me...the sight of French dressing makes my stomach churn....So does jelly....;-/ Why is that?
Has anyone ever had a French dressing and Jelly Sandwich?
That just sounds nasty Craig! But I love some Peanut Butter and Jelly! But now I won't be able to look at jelly the same lmao.
"he could use jelly or syrup, I preferrr syrup!"
LOL!!
Serena...what I wanna' know is who stepped up to the mike after the TOSS SALAD MAN? That microphone probably smelled like thirteen assholes...
I just threw up in my mouth a little bit...
What did you have for lunch, B?
And how was it the second time around?
At least you got your moneys worth...With the economy and all...Eating twice for the price of one..Bravo..Send that story in to Sue Simmons...I mean...Suze Orman...She will love that one...
yeah, cuz Sue Simmons would probably curse me out like, "what the f*ck are YOU doing?!"
Remember she broke fool on somebody on live tv? That was funny as hell!
Sue likes the "Truth Serum"
Clearly I missed alot today. Shit, I saw the Watchmen too! The part I like is when the guy did the thing with that joint and then whoa..
I realized I am the freakiest person here...and I am ok with that.
Brook, I live 5 minutes away from Adult World...so I can price something out for you...lol
You may have had godzilla...but I had fucking Jurrasic Park after going to Texas Roadhouse last week.
I already told my streaking story last month...
Texas Roadhouse? What's that?
How do YOU know you're the freakiest person on here? ;-)
And price me out something good, preferably with wings, LOL!!
I'm still trying to imagine you streaking in freezing weather :)
I am basing that assumption on reactions...lol
With wings huh? Like a Red Bull?
I was so drunk the weather did not matter!
I am sitting here at 12:15am waaaaaay past my bedtime cracking the hayle up at all yall (yes, it's plural of yall). Yeah Brooke...TMI Tuesday has DEFINITELY kept my mind off other things. LOL
LOL!! Well that's great April! After your comment yesterday, I'm glad you got a little laugh. I'm sure Craig and Latinegro contributed to that, as well as the rest of us. I'm glad we could make you smile today :)
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