Friday, March 6, 2009

Chrihanna - Take 2

TGIF!!!

I'm so happy it's Friday. I'm really looking forward to the weekend. Hopefully today will be less busy for me so I can get out of here and get on the road. My babies await me! :-)

By now I'm sure you all have heard about Chris Brown being charged yesterday with felony counts of assault and making criminal threats stemming from a fight he had with Rihanna. If he is convicted, the sentence could range from probation to time spent in prison. Rihanna has asked the judge not to prohibit CB from having contact with her, which was granted. This link has the details of what reportedly happened that night.

If everything that was written in the affidavit was true, then...wow. I feel for both of them if the events transpired the way the CNN article described.

I also find it disturbing that Rihanna would want to remain in contact with him if the things written were true. I think I'd find it kinda hard to remain friends with someone who slammed my head into a car door, bit me and had me in a headlock - all while continuing to drive! Buffoonery doesn't even BEGIN to describe the alleged accounts of what happened. More like sickening.

Now that the facts are coming out slowly via police reports and affidavits, I find that I get increasingly annoyed with people who say, "well still, we weren't there so we don't know what happened." None of us can bear witness to EVERY thing that happens in the world, but just because we don't see it doesn't mean it didn't happen. I've never seen Whitney smoke either, but that doesn't mean she never got high.

The article says the police retrieved text messages from CB to Rihanna where he reportedly said he was sorry and that he was going to get help. That sounds a little bit like a confession to me. Not saying it IS a confession, but I'm jus sayin. Those bruises on her face weren't self inflicted, and given that there were no real visible injuries he sustained, it's pretty clear he wasn't acting in self defense - at least not to the point where he felt the need to do the damage he did.

But aside from Chrihanna, what is sad is that domestic abuse happens every 15 seconds in the US. EVERY 15 SECONDS. That is tragic. There are some that escape the cycle of abuse, and sadly there are some who remain in abusive relationships for a number of reasons. Some fail to leave because of fear - they're afraid the abuser will kill them if they leave. Sad thing is, they may kill them if they stay.

Some stay because they feel they deserve to be abused or punished for something they may have done to provoke a violent reaction. Some stay for financial reasons, or for the children. The reasons are endless. But you only need ONE reason to leave - and that's because as a child of God, no one has the right to hurt you.

Rihanna has money, fame, no children, support of friends and family and the rest of her bright life ahead of her. I hope that she is able to heal from this and knows the value of her life. No one can tell her who to love or be friends with - all we can do is pray that she has peace, happiness and health.

I pray the same thing for Chris Brown. They will both need help and I hope they both seek it. Both have stated their belief in God, and if they seek Him and His boundless grace, the distance between our missteps and stumbles also grows. Our relationships work, primarily because we share a philosophy, faith and outlook that prompts us to seek God in all and entirely within ourselves. We can reflect and seek truth to give us strength, and remembering these truths while continuing to grow in wisdom is part of our ongoing challenge.

It doesn't matter who started what, who swung first or whatever else happened that night that we "didn't see." If two people are in a relationship where they are hitting and trying to physically hurt each other, then it's relationship that should end. Our challenge is not to look for love, but to be it. Love knows its own and it will find you. Ultimately, the person you are seeking is you. Find yourself, and you will find a source of love sufficient to fulfill your every desire, attract your greatest good fortune and create abundant happiness in your life always.

-b

55 comments:

Annamaria said...

i just needed to be first! :)

Mr. R.A. said...

wonderful message. I hope Rihanna takes care of her self.

ejackson said...

This just goes to show you that no matter how much materialistic things that you may have (money, fame, beauty) it still always comed down to how you feel about YOU. Some say she feels like she can't live without him...I hope that is the case but all we can do is pray for her to see the light because the more we push her away, the closer she will get to him.

Annamaria said...

1. I know you don't want to hear it but we really don't know all the details & we never ever will know everything....lol

2. No matter what we say or anyone close to the situation says they are ultimately going to do whatever they want.

3. I think they are both young and a little immature & naiive. They BOTH could use a lot of help & time to grow up. It's nice that there is love there but that is not enough to sustain a relationship.

4. At this point it's not about who did what to whom. It's about getting past the situation & dealing with the past & what they each want & are going to make of their futures. They are both beautiful & talented individuals & need to realize their full potential.

Brooke said...

Of course we don't know ALL the details, the message is not about the details. It's about the incident happening in the first place. Even though she gave a detailed explanation, it's as if people don't want to hear it. Even if HE gave a detailed explanation, people will always find a reason to doubt either one of them. That is not the issue. It's not about fault finding, it's about understanding your worth, what you will and will not put up with, the value you place on yourself and those you love, and taking control of yourself and your actions and being responsible for them.

E. Payne said...

Very poignant, Brooke. A nice way to cap off the week. The two of them definitely need interventions. I hope the courts don't allow her star power to dictate her currently unhealthy wants (to have contact with him) at her expense. Based on the extent of what is being alleged this almost certainly wasn't the first time. This was just the first time it went completely bonkers. Just for fear of wrecking a Lambo...if he had any wits about him he should've clung to that to get himself out of that situation...but apparently/allegedly he did not. The sad thing is that as a 19 y.o. squeaky clean pop star who had achieved a "colorless" status in the media (especially with the teen set), he's being treated very much like your average everyday black man now. If you look at most of the pics of him online he's scowling or frowning (when in actuality he was probably just trying to look sexy in these shots).

Welcome to the real world.

Brooke said...

I know, to be charged with felonies at the age of 19 is so sad. Who knows if he'll be found guilty or serve time, etc. But just the fact that he is in THIS type of trouble at such a young age disturbs me. And for her to have something like this happen, with the amount of scrutiny it's getting, is sad also. I can't even imagine.

They are celebrities, so they're status sheds light on a situation that sometimes remains quiet, especially in our communities. I hope their celebrity is not just for exploitation, but so that it can show the magnitude of the problem of domestic violence as a whole.

Annamaria said...

The reason I think people don't want to hear what she has to say is because she gives the account of EVERYTHING that happened to the police & like 5 minutes later she's back with him. You're right Brooke you can tell she definitely doesn't know her worth if it was that easy. All he had to do was go to one couseling session & send her a few birthday gifts & all was forgiven??? Is she serious???

I really don't think either one of them is a "bad" person. They are Young & stupid as we all were at one point.. (he's just a lil dumber than most..LOL)
Personally I think they could have used a longer period of time apart to find themselves & learn from this experience before getting back together. I think it would have been beneficial to them both...
All in all I really hope they do what's right for themselves & their own well beings.

Georgia Peach said...

Thanks Brooke for addressing this issue again. I agree with you that it's NOT about whether or not we know the details, but the fact that the situation even happened. I get that there are situations where men feel attacked, whatever, but I still feel like he crossed the line with her. This situation is ridiculous and the fact that people still are giving Rihanna more of a hard time about the situation makes me ill.

I hope they both get help, I really do think that Rihanna doesn't love herself enough to know that someone who truly loves you wouldn't treat you this way. That's just my 2 cents.

Have a great weekend everybody!

phillygrl said...

NOt sure if this is true & it is definitely not an excuse, but we know Chris came from an abusive home (his stepfather) I've heard that Rihanna does too(her parents). sometimes, it's what you know where abuse is concerned, people grow up living like this & that's all they know.

A guy i know is a principal for a middle school here in philly(one of the worst in city--it actually is closed down now) but he told me he had this sweet little girl in one class(when he was a teacher) , & then he heard her outside cussing like a sailor, he puller her in & asked her abt her language...long story short, when mother came up to school for parent -teacher night..he said SHE was the influence. she said to the girl..didn't I tell you to get my mehta -effin cigarrettes outta the car..get you ass over here, etc & the litany went on....

so how you live(were brought up), sometimes can be waay stronger than your current environment

-i hope they both get the help they need, sadly wisdom come with age usually, not therapy.

NOT to Be a debbie downer( that character on SNL was tooooo funny) & all..im just sayin...

---Have a good weekend & staying on topic of FOCUS --pick up the book '4 hour workweek' from the library....phenomenal!!!

Annamaria said...

Brooke you touched on a good point. Their celebrity status could shed light on this issue....what does everyone think??
Does the fact that she(RIHANNA A RICH &FAMOUS CELEBRITY) forgave him soo easily make it more acceptable to young people or does it make it less acceptable or do you guys think it has no bearing on the situation?

SIDENOTE: MY WORD IS PAWLIFT!!! HOW IRONIC

phillygrl said...

oh..P.S. Brooke, your boy 'Jamie' is in philly shooting a movie..American Citizen( or something like that) :-)

Brooke said...

What I found interesting is that alot of women were angry at her for going back, because they felt that Rihanna should act as a role model for younger girls. Sometimes we try to make people role models who don't want to be one.

Rihanna is young, she has alot of living and learning to do. We all do. So to say that she should act as a role model, especially as she's going through this, is a bit unforgiving. What it really shows to me is that just because she's a celebrity - ultimately she's also like thousands of other young girls going thru the same thing. If it can happen to her, and she go back to him, then it can happen - AND DOES HAPPEN - to anyone...everyday.

Karen, if you see him, tell him I said hello ;)

Brooke said...

oh...and Pop, thanks for reading and commenting today snookums!

Rameer said...

Chris Brown is a piece of caca. Rihanna is young and dumb. And the only thing that upsets me is this nation of young women who already lack real parenting getting the wrong message and defending their relationship - which has already been happening.

I hate people who try to play Devil's Advocate or give the benefit of the doubt on Black & white issues. Fact is he whooped her arse. Slammed her head against a window, tried to throw her out of a moving car, punched her while her head was pressed against said window...from the police reports released (BTW, I don't know if it was on here, but I TOLD people I already knew what was in the report due to the career I have), the only thing Ri Ri did was yell at him about his infidelity and gouge his eyes in self-defense.

I hope Rihanna wakes up before something more tragic happens, and I hope (though I know NOTHING WILL HAPPEN) Chris gets locked up and loses his music career. But what will happen is more likely to be he recovers, makes a triumphant return on an Awards show/TV special, has a platinum record, does a special MTV/BET sit-down to explain things "in his own words", and eventually beats her a$$ again - whether it's public or private.

Let someone touch my sister. I'll be blogging from Riker's. Cuz there's no explanation that can warrant the beatdown he served Rihanna. But hey - he dances pretty good and makes great Pop music. That warrants forgiveness and the benefit of the doubt, right? I mean, if Robert Kelly can engage in multiple statutory rapes and piss on lil' girls and still be loved and go platinum, Chris has AT LEAST 2 more major screw ups to go before he's considered a lost cause, right?

Ike Turner. Roman Polanski. Woody Allen. Robert Kelly. Chris Benoit. If a man is famous enough, anything perpetrated against a woman is forgivable by the sheep of this country.

Not me. I'm on some Rorshach ish...

"Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon..."

I know what wrong is, whether I accept it or not, engage in it or choose not to. Chris Brown is lucky she ain't MY relative.

Annamaria said...

I think people should be mad at her for getting back with him for her own sake. It's about saving her life right now. She shouldn't be under even more pressure to have to be a role model.

Brooke said...

Well, now that I've seen Watchmen, I understand the Rorshach comment Rameer, and you're right....God help the person who gets got like that! LOL!! He was bananas! We can chat about that offline.

But yes, I'm curious who Rihanna's male relatives are and what they're saying. I think my father would be in jail right now - especially since he always says he's not afraid to go if it's because something happened to his daughters. Even now, if he feels like someone - a man in particular - is out of pocket, the first thing he says is, "do I need to grease up my baseball bat?"

(yeah, a bit crazy I know)

But I wish I could hear what her friends and family are whispering in her ear.

Rameer said...

No offense, Annamaria...

But I HATE when people say "we shouldn't put the pressure of being a role model" on certain celebrities. While that IS a true statement, it's not the reality - certain celebs ARE role models. So, while a guy like 50 Cent shouldn't be thrust in that role, Rihanna has gone out of her way to jump into that role. I should know - I aired a magnificent piece on her a few months back on her working with Gucci to raise money for young women.

She literally says how she embraced being as a positive female role model. So yes - she has willfully jumped into that role, and her team embraced it. same thing with Chris Brown. This isn't Charles Barkley saying "I'm not a role model, don't put me on that pedestal". We're talking about two people who EMBRACED the ideas of being role models as part of their images.

We can talk about what should and shouldn't be all we want. Reality is what it is - she was a role model, and still is too a great majority of her fans.

Annamaria said...

Rameer:
Let me be MORE specific. I didn't intend to imply that she wasn't a role model. WHAT I MEANT was that in this situation her decision should be based on what is right for her & for her well being. I'm sorry but if YOU can not raise YOUR child to not get her ASS whooped by her man. It should NOT fall on this poor girl's shoulders right now. She has enough on her plate & enough to think about without having to think about how her decision will impact everyone else.

P.S.-Yes ladies I do know I have to put $1 in the jar now..LOL

Rameer said...

I agree it shouldn't have to fall on her shoulders...but she accepted the role. As was quoted in a great movie a while back...

"With great power comes great responsibility."

Look - I'M A role model to the young adults I mentor. I accept that as my role when I jumped into it. If I was to have Chris' demon spirit possess me and pulled his crap, guess what? In addition to trying to get out of whatever legal woes I may have as a result, I KNOW I would have to speak up about it and react accordingly due to my position as a role model. Doesn't matter what I have to deal with in addition - that's what I signed up for.

And age doesn't matter - I've been a role model and mentoring younger heads since I was 13.

I come from a family where accountability for actions and who you are (are) paramount...can you tell? Lol...

And stop cussin'!!!

Annamaria said...

1. that is YOU & YOU are like that because of the way YOU were raised. As someone pointed out earlier. NEITHER ONE OF THEM WAS RAISED LIKE THAT...

2. IF YOU did something wrong yes you should be held responsible for it BUT let's cut the girl some slack. She was the VICTIM in this case. Just because she's rich & famous & stepped into that role doesn't mean she shouldn't get the chance to be a victim. If god forbid some dude on the street beat her & raped her would she still be expected to put on a smile & be your kids role models.

3. If anything this is the time for PARENTS to be PARENTS & step up & RAISE THEIR OWN DAMN KIDS & STOP RELYING ON OTHER PEOPLE TO DO IT FOR YOU! ESPECIALLY those with daughters. Sit your baby girl down & talk to her about her feelings on the matter & what is acceptable & what isn't.

P.S- I can't stop cussing. It feels sooo good. I got like $30 in my curse jar right now!!! LOL

Annamaria said...

Oh and Rameer I want to TASE you for Quoting Spiderman! lol...

Rameer said...

Annamari-aaaaaaa...

1. I have certain things that were taught to me, but I also am the posterchild for every psychoanalyst's excuse to have been in prison, killed someone, beat people, etc. My point is - if you knew my background like some do, I have reason and excuse to be a horrible person or to do horrible things. I became an ADULT, and realized right and wrong and personal responsibility and accountability. I have the use of my senses...I can see things for myself. That "upbringing" excuse only works for me up to when a kid is 18...if you aren't still in a horrible situation, then I can't use those excuses.

A piece of wisdom taught to me:

"Excuses are the tools of the incompetent, used to build monuments of nothingness. Those who specialize in them seldom amount to anything..."

2. She IS the victim, and I think everyone should realize and respect that. I agree she shouldn't be crucified or take the brunt of the blame at all. But I don't agree everyone should let it slide that dude beat her ass and she ran back to him and is trying to help him get out of trouble for said beatdown. It's poor decision-making and stupidity, and should be reacted to as such.

3. We are in complete agreement on that...

And HELL YEAH I quoted SPIDERMAN - and WHAT?!? Lol...

Annamaria said...

Rameer:
#1-Just shut up... I'm pregnant BUT I will still fight you...

#2 & #3-Cool we agree

SPIDERMAN REALLY SON???? (taking out my taser)

Rameer said...

"Spider-man, Spider-man - does whatever a spider can..."

Lol!

"Go web! Fly! Up, up, and away web! Shazaam! Go! Go! Go web go! Tally ho!"

LMAO!!!

phillygrl said...

rameer's quoting 'excuses'..he must be in a fraternity!...oh & don't sing that spiderman around my son or he'll just keep saying "again, again"..as he sits on his spiderman chair at his spiderman table with his spiderman action figure.& his oatmeal in his spiderman bowl.....u get the drift...

Annamaria said...

Of course he is in a Fraternity with that BULLCRAP. My boyfriend gave me that same speech with his frat boy butt which is why he almost got shanked 3 times this week....

Serena W. said...

I hope that other people that are in domestic disputes can learn from this. Here we have two young people, ton of money, fortune and fame but lack immaturity. They both don't know what they want in regards too "love."

We also don't know what they were subject too growing up. Did they see violence, was their domestic disputes in their household...who knows. Not to say it's an excuse but the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

This happens to the brokest of broke and as we have seen the rich. Domestic violence is so rampant in our community. One of my hardest characters to write about in my second book that I just finished is the one that stayed with her husband regardless of the abuse.

I wanted to teach through my fictitious characters that everything may look like glamour from the outside, but who knows what the hell is going on behind closed doors. Such a shame.... My prayers go out to them and hope that they allow a divine intervention to take place and they don't try and block it.

Brooke said...

I don't think Rameer is in a fraternity, but I could be wrong.

And I know of a similar quote: "Excuses are tools of the incompetent. Those who excel in them seldomly excel in anything else." Same idea...nothing to do with fraternities or sororities. Just a fitting quote :)

Rameer said...

Serena...great comment. But why didn't you let 'em know I'm NOT in a fraternity??

I'm in ME PHI ME...the original frat! How do I know "Excuses", you may ask? Ah ah ah...

"Ancient Chinese secret!"

Phillygirl - your son loves Spiderman? Cool - me and the lil' homie could hang, then! Good kids like Spiderman. And Pooh Bear - never met a bad kid that liked Winnie The Pooh...

Can't believe I was accused of being in a frat! I could've been - but I'm not. If you heard some of the other things I know, you might think I was Illuminati, too...lol!

Serena W. said...

MY BAD RAMEER! After I pressed the send button I read the comments and said...OH NO!

Rameer is def. MEPHIME! LOL!

Serena W. said...

And Rameer please don't get Annamaria worked up...she will tase you for real! LOL!

Annamaria said...

That's right! I'm just looking for an excuse!!!!!!!!

Rameer said...

Hmph! Annamaria don't scare ME...she's a softy anyway...I see through her! Don't let her tough exterior deceive you...

Serena W. said...

Ooooooooooh Annamaria what are you going to do about the smack talk coming down from Buffalo lol!!!!

Annamaria said...

Can't talk. In the car on my way to Buffalo...Got the taser charging. My hair is up in a bun. Taking my earrings off. Putting the vaseline on my face. Shank is in my purse. Baby got it's shank out!

Rameer said...

Ever see "Escape From New York"?

You're welcome to come to Buffalo, Ms. Annamaria - but you'll never be heard from again, unless you appeal to me for safe passage. It's no joke up here...and before anyone gets on some "NYC is tough" type ish - every cat from NYC I ever brought to the 'Lo left saying "damn - I didn't know it was like THAT"...

But since you're Brooke-approved, I'll give you safe passage to Canada. Cuz the 'Lo heads will eat you up and use your taser as a toy for the kiddies...

Lol! Serena, stop instigatin'! I kinda like Annamaria's schizoid-a$$...

Serena W. said...

Ah damn! Brooke you gotta stop her! She's on her way to B-Lo to shank and tase Rameer!

Annamaria said...

Rameer: for the record I've been to Buffalo MANY TIMES (my brother went to college out there & lived there for a while afterwards) I even explored & ventured out all by myself!!! lol IT WAS A NICE VACATION FROM THE REAL HOOD! LOL

BUT thanks for appreciating my mental illness everyone.

Annamaria said...

False alarm.. Me & Rameer are friends again. We gonna get matching BFF T-shirts... (turning the car around..)(baby putting it's shank away....)

Rameer said...

If your brother went to college out here, I doubt you went through a REAL hood - none of the colleges are really in them...

It's cool. I brought an NYC head through one of our hoods last week...she thought it made what she considered hood look like Beverly Hills...true story.

You stick to the main roads, sweetness - I wouldn't want the goblins to get'cha!

And we all love your crazy self, Annamaria - the family always loves the "touched one" in the group...lol!

Rameer said...

But what's up with the BABY CARRYING A SHANK?!?

Now THAT scares me...lol!

Annamaria said...

well once he left college he moved to the "HOOD" of Buffalo for a while... It still wasn't HOOD..LOL

The baby does carry a shank & a taser...Takes after Mommy. Daddy is scurrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeddddddddd

phillygrl said...

not for nothing & on a totally different topic...OPRAH , after talking with Tyler perry abt Rihanna & chris brown --------is SHOWCASING the SNUGGIE!!!! & the creator!!:-) I forgot who said they were gonna get them as gifts!!!...but I thought it was hilarious, they have parodies where the people are dancing around in them , etc...

phillygrl said...

p.s. Rameer..u hit nail on head w/ Zaire(my son)..if he doesn't see his Pooh birthday card..he's like "where is my card? the wagon of honey? " Pooh & spidey..he also is keen on curious george:-)

Rameer said...

You name the street, and I'm POSITIVE it wasn't "hood". If he could walk at night or there were no killings on a weekly basis...it def wasn't the hood.

Everyone in the real hoods have heavy artillery...if you're not from that hood, you can't be in it without getting jacked! I'm tellin' you...it ain't no joke out here...don't find out!

My boy from Newark was even like "something wrong with these people"...lol!

I'mma need you to keep that baby away from me...

***calls lawyer for order of protection***

Rameer said...

Phillygirl...you son just completed the triumvirate of good little boys - Curious George too?? I didn't even mention that, and you nailed it!

I'm highly impressed by your Mommy skills! And don't clown the Snuggie - I'm buying my sister one soon!

Annamaria said...

I know there were some NEWS WORTHY occasions at his first apartment out of college... I can't name you any streets. Pregnancy brain has set in & I barely can remember the street I live on now. I come to work & go home with Austin every day cause I'm afraid to lose my way..LOL

The baby is laughing at your order of protection.. WHat are you going to do take out a paper while you getting shanked

Annamaria said...

Everyone have a good weekend!!!! :) Talk to you on Monday!

Rameer said...

***Calls Fruit Of Islam, gets 24 protective surveillance from psycho baby***

Brooke said...

Y'all are nuts :)

I want a Snuggie.

And my nephews like all of those, Spidey, Pooh AND ESPECIALLY Curious George. They watch Curious George daily...like crack to them.

I'll stay away from the 'Lo, thank you very much.

And I'll stay away from AnaJolia's baby too :)

Matter of fact, I think all of you hood rats are scaring me!

Latinegro said...

so why do i feel you had this arguement before...hmm? You know how I feel about him.

great post...I had a busy day and now I am home!

Brooke said...

Lucky you! I'm about to leave work and then head to Philly. Can't wait to see the kiddies!

And yes, your FB link inspired my post for today, so everyone can thank Ant for my blog today! :)

Latinegro said...

You were about to take out someone I know too...lol

I am surprised that she took that position of fame and us not knowing the full story.

Brooke said...

yeah, she was askin for it! LOL!!

Kidding...but still. I felt like saying "did you READ the article?" These were affidavits, not hearsay. Not like we were getting our info from Media Takeout, it was a police report! Fame doesn't distort that, or the bruises on her face. They're public people, but that doesn't make what happened not real. I don't get it.

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