Friday, March 27, 2009
I'm off from work (woo-hoo!) and going to be traveling to Philly, so I asked our boy Rameer to hold it down for me today! I'll still be checking in, just not as regularly as I normally would. He's on a bit of a rant today, so I'm gonna just get out of the Ninja's way! Have fun! And Happy Birthday Annamaria!
So...here I am with my second try at guest-blogging for my girl Ms. Brookes. It’s really kind of the first, cuz the last time she just kinda jacked some stuff I had put together, and talked to me about it to get clarification so she could effectively impart my ideas. This time, I’m actually penning this from scratch...so my darling Ms. Brookes actually had no pre-knowledge of the subject.
Brooke, I know you’d prefer me to address this whole "bitchass" phenomenon...but trust me, it would be too long of a read. I can go on for more millenia's than Mazda had on their car lots about that subject! Nah, I’mma talk about something I’ve been talking about on a damn-near daily basis since I graduated...
Stupid things people say.
LOVE that song. It’s from the original animated “Transformers” movie soundtrack.
I’ve been saying for eons – the stupid people are outnumbering us smart people, and they’re running the country. Business, government, law – all run by idiots. When I say idiots, I don’t mean unqualified, non-educated people. Many of these people have degrees and extensive resumes. My issue is people simply don’t use their brains – they don’t THINK. They say and do things without giving any thought to it. They have an intense lack of common sense. And – here’s the kicker – they have no individuality, so they follow behind the stupider people – making many of our community Stupid By Assimilation. It’s like a bunch of humanized lemmings running around, in all aspects:
It’s too deep of a subject to encapsulate in one quick blog. So, I’ve decided to post my Top 10 Stupid Things I hear people say regularly:
1. “I don’t see race or color.”
PUH-LEASE!!! As soon as I hear a fool start with this caca, I pretty much assume you’re the most prejudice, bigoted person around. OF COURSE YOU DO. You know damn well that there are things that people of different races tend to do differently. You also know we all harbor some form of stereotypes or know of some fallacies. How, then, are you able to get the humor of George Carlin, Richard Pryor and Dave Chappelle? You have to already know what they’re referencing to get the joke.
But noooo – people insist on telling you they “don’t even see race”. Like Whitey McDaniels won’t cross the street if he sees some young Black men walking his way at night in Chicago. Or Raheem Jackson won’t arbitrarily call a Latino “Paco” or designate them as a Puerto Rican or Mexican – like there are no other Latin ethnicities.
Why does this make you fall in the SBS category? Cuz you’re more than likely saying it cuz you’ve heard it before, and it’s the “PC” thing to do. But you’re insulting my intelligence by saying it – I can get you to prove your racial hang ups within 5 minutes after saying that phrase in-person.
2. “What’s your nationality?” – Um, has anyone actually earned their grades in English?? My nationality is AMERICAN. As is true for most people you encounter. No one actually thinks about the true meaning of that word – “ality” meaning the quality of what ever word it’s enhancing. So, if you are not an American citizen or have dual citizenship, you might have a different nationality.
People use this word when they mean to ask what one’s ethnic background is. “I’m Persian” someone may respond. Um, last time I checked, Persia wasn’t a nation anymore. You’re more than likely American, and so are the people you’re asking that dumb-ass question to. I’m Panamanian in ethnicity, but my nationality is American. Get it??
3. “You shouldn’t judge/I don’t judge people”
Really, Genius of Moronville? Let me tell you something – every single human being judges. Every one. You know why? Cuz if you didn’t, you wouldn’t see the difference between a nun and a child rapist. How do you know one is evil and reprehensible and the other isn’t? Judgment call, moron. When you are raised, anywhere on this Earth, someone stamps a moral code on your psyche. Some people are more lax and free in their beliefs and morality, but everyone makes a difference between what they like and dislike, what’s right and wrong, what’s pure and nasty. And all those are judgment calls.
Don’t ask me or try to speak from some ideological perch as though me judging something is wrong. That’s a judgment in and of itself! I’m human – that’s what we do. Every single one of us. Do you believe in a Higher Power? Guess what – you judge. Atheist? Guess what – you judge too. Anything that makes you make a decision that something is remotely better or more okay than something else is a judgment call. Use your brain and think about the meaning of what you’re saying!!!
4. “That movie was too long.”
Really? Where did you have to go, Speed Racer? Maybe I’m nit-picking with this one, but when I sit down to see a movie, either in a theater or at home, I plan to involve myself in the entertainment presented to me. I’m not looking at my watch every 10 minutes measuring the movie. There is no set time for a movie. However long it takes to present the story, I’m cool with – as long as you keep my attention. Hell, I have DVDs that are literally 5 hours. And I can sit and watch ‘em any weekend, joyfully.
You’re telling me The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy, Malcolm X, Watchmen, Braveheart and The Good, The Bad & The Ugly aren’t worthwhile movies to sit your ass still for if they go over 90 minutes? That’s why we’re failing – an entire country of ADD heads.
5. “I don’t eat meat – just fish.”
WHAT?!? Do you even know what your stupid ass just said?? Do you know what that word means?? Meat is animal flesh – ANY ANIMAL’S FLESH. If you eat animal, you eat meat.
Fake-ass conscientious eater…
6. “God says/don’t like/you’re going to hell cuz…”
Shut yo ass up. Look – according to every damned text on Earth, The Creator cannot be comprehended fully, right? And The Creator is omnipotent and omniscient, right? So how are you going to tell me what the Higher Power is going to do or not do? Oh, I get it – you got your little book in your hand – the one written by a bunch of men. Well, with the whole omnipotent thing, couldn’t a deity change its mind once in a while? No? I mean – WE all do. But nah – everything in that book is true. Word for word. No matter what the culture or customs of the time were...and no matter how many were lifted from ancient other faiths.
I like to tell these idiots that I’m God - which they usually spaz out to. But wait a sec – if God can do anything, why COULDN’T I be God simply testing you? “You curse too much.” Um, I made up the words – YOU determined they were obscene, not me. “You don’t go to church.” Why would I have to go to the place YOU worship ME? Dumbass! “You don’t live a pure lifestyle.” Um...I’m testing YOU. Get it? I do as I please. “If you’re God, prove it.” I ain’t gotta prove SQUADOOSH – I’ll prove it when you die. How ‘bout that?
Lol...my point is, none of us knows squat. Let’s try to stop acting like we know everything She has in-store for us. Just live the best you can, stay true to yourself and treat others as you want to be treated. Put out positive energy, and you’ll get it back. Stop trying to say this Muslim is doomed, that Taoist is going to hell, etc. And yes, by any definition, I could literally be God – so could you. So knock it off.
And yes, that wasn’t a slip. I called God SHE. Or is that not possible as well??
7. “Aw…don’t hate.”
What the hell is up with this word?? I kinda hate it at this point. Everyone misuses it – if you don’t like something, you’re hating. Huh?!? Hey – pubes for brains – here’s a thought – maybe I’m not feeling “Fergalicious.” Maybe I think men wearing pink is fruity as hell. And maybe me saying your underage girlfriend isn’t a good look is cuz it really isn’t a good look!
Hating is about jealousy and envy in large part. If I don’t like it, I don’t like it. Period. Use your brain and stop going with the crowd. I CAN not agree with you – especially if you’re a dumb-ass.
8. “You know he/she is gay.”
Okay, we all say this to some degree - sometimes jokingly, sometimes with a large hint of truth. I’m only talking about those idiots who say that as some deterrent. Like being gay makes someone or something untouchable. Example:
“I love that new Elton John song!”
“Elton John, ain’t he gay??”
What does that mean? The song is less hot? I got news for you – Luther Vandross, the greatest singer of love songs, ever? Yup – fruity as Del Monte.
I’m not Mr. Gay rights in the least bit – but whatever goes on in a person’s personal is THEIR personal. I’m not gonna stop being friends with someone or stop listening to George Michael or Me’Shell Ndegeocello cuz your ass is ignorant.
9. “I hope they lose – they win too much/already won.”
Really? You’re going to cheer against a team cuz they’re too successful? Um, now THAT’S some hater ish! I cheer for my favorite teams, but I don’t get mad that the Patriots have a dynasty or that the Bulls three-peated. If you’re the best, more power to you.
How would you like it if you always did your work well, but your entire office plotted/wanted you to fail cuz you “always do a good job”? Boss decides to fire you cuz “it’s someone else’s turn to succeed.” Doesn’t make much sense, now does it? Sounds real petty and stupid, doesn’t it?
10. “I hope my kid has good hair...” or “he/she has that good hair.”
Hello, self-hate! I was wondering where you went. Good hair? Really? Good hair? I mean, just the thought process alone to think that a style of hair is “good” compared to another makes me think you’re driving the imbecile bus waving a Re-Re foam finger! That’s some ol’ slave quarters 'ish – and if you don’t get why that’s messed up, well...you’re DUMB.
And don’t give me the whole “manageable” argument - all hair has its good and bad points. You’re just a nincompoop if you believe in that 'ish. You probably think the prettiest babies are when whites mix with Blacks too – like no other mixture or any other ethnicity can have prettier babies. Dumb-ass.
Oh, I’m sure all of you can add to the list. People say and do stupid things all the time. And I realize that growing up in the family I did, most of it wasn’t allowed. So when I get into the real world, and hear people tell me how they were “conversating” or how “those Muslims be blowin’ stuff up,” I just say most times...
“Oh – you’re stupid. I’m sorry – I didn’t realize. I’ll be moving along now…wouldn’t want to catch your affliction. You may be contagious, and I don’t want to find out”.
There it is. I’m interested to get your feedback and hear what stupid things you guys hear from people on the reg - and if I offended anyone with my declarations, chew on it – I’m God.
I feel like I’m forgetting something...hmm...
Oh yeah. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANNAMARIA!!! With yo fine a$$...lol! Enjoy it, bonita!
Labels: Stupid ass people