Thursday, May 12, 2011
- I love getting surprised with flowers - pretty purple tulips are my favorite!
- It's gorgeous outside - get out there and enjoy it!
- Full from lunch - need a nap.
- I think I'm catching a cold - nothing worse than a spring or summer cold. I blame Monica!
- Meeting, meetings and more meetings today - so these random thoughts will be brief.
- I listened to Jodeci, Jill Scott, Jamie Callum and Esperanza Spalding on the DMoe iPod shuffle this morning on my way to work - was awesome!
- I love my family.
- Serena is going to make a great mom!
- Annamaria got tased today - how funny is that???!!! LOL!
- Brian's throwback this week!
Go!
-b
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Happy Hump Day!
It's late in the day, but never to late to let out a little rant :-)
More things I don’t have time for:
1. People who air their dirty laundry on Facebook.
2. Toxic friendships
3. People who read my computer screen at work. I used to have a screen protector, but we got new monitors that are too big for my screen protector, have to get another one.
4. People who don’t say thank you when you hold the elevator for them.
5. Pop-up surveys on websites that prevent you from reading an article.
6. People who text or take phone calls while on a date.
7. Creepy UNSOLICITED dirty talk. I’ll let that one sink in a bit.
8. Unsolicited dating advice from women who hate men.
9. Women who wear cocktail dresses to sporting events.
10. Excess make-up.
11. Twitter.
12. Working late hours just because…
13. Holding grudges.
14. Constantly meeting others’ needs before my own, or while mine are not being met.
15. Mind reading.
16. Making excuses and procrastinating – I need to start on my book.
17. My landline.
18. My VCR.
19. Obnoxious ring tones.
20. All these damn OT's in the NBA Playoffs - a chick needs to go to bed! (great games though!)
Let's hear yours! Go!
-b
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Hey blog fam!
Happy Birthday Yolanda!
I'm taking a poll - Question of the day:
If a man over the age of 35 and has never been married or doesn't have any children - is that too good to be true (a commodity) or a red flag (like what is wrong with this dude)?
A man I know said that if either of these is true, a woman should RUN because a) either he's emotionally unstable, or a commitment phobe, b) a serial womanizing bachelor or c) crazy and possibly irresponsible. His argument is that a man who has at least attempted marriage may be open to love and able to commit. And if he's had a child(ren), it may force him to "grow up" so to speak, where he'd become a responsible and patient individual. Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but in general, do you think he's correct?
Not sure if this applies to a woman of the same stats....but if you wanna chime in about the opposite sex, please do.
Go!
-b
Friday, May 6, 2011
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Thursday, May 5, 2011
Happy Random Thoughts Thursday and Feliz Cinco de Mayo! The mariachis were in full effect on the subway this morning!
- Speaking of Mexico, I want to go during Memorial weekend, but my money told me no :-(
- Why did my heat come on this morning? It needs to just be HOT already. Geesh!
- I hate straddling between winter boots and summer sandals. These flats ain't gettin' it.
- I'm off tomorrow so I can attend my dear friend Denice's wedding! Should be fabulous!
- Being pigeon toed looks like it hurts...or at the very least could be VERY uncomfortable.
- What IS comfortable are panties by The Gap. Love them, they're so soft!
- Every day, the same guy asks me for scripts for shows that air on History Channel or Lifetime. And every day I have to remind him that I work for A&E. This has been happening for like 3 months now...I wonder when he's gonna get it? It's starting to get on my damn nerves.
- If Time Warner raises my cable bill one more time, it's gonna be some furniture moving around here. I had to call them, tell them about themselves, and then get it lowered $30 while "encouraging" them give me extra premium channels for my trouble. The same song and dance every year - but it must be done. They trippin'.
- Meanwhile, I rarely even watch HBO or Showtime...go figure.
- I made the BOMB shrimp scampi last night....made you wanna slap your mama down!
- Anyone doing anything fun for that special mother in your life this weekend? Planning on taking mine (mother and sister) out to dinner, but I've run out of ideas for gifts. Any suggestions?
- Last year, my nephews made me a Mother's Day card, even though I'm not a mommy. They said, "Well, you're LIKE our mommy...and we love you." My heart exploded with happiness and pride. Those moments are priceless.
- Happy early Mother's Day to Annamaria...and now Serena! And if there are any other mothers (or LIKE mothers) out there, Happy Mother's Day to you too!
- Date night with Annamaria on Monday should be fun :-)
- I wrote a poem called "Red Lips" but it might be a bit too racy to share with the blog ;-)
- Where the hell is Ant?
- So nice when Facebook can reconnect you with old friends. I must say, the Syracuse University network is one big happy family...very proud of us. I bleed Orange!
- Getting a mani and possibly a pedi at lunch today!
- Forgot to sign up for spinning today, so I have to motivate myself on the freakin' elliptical machine. I'll be watching my Beyonce videos on my iPod so I can imagine myself looking like her. Her body, not her face. I like her face, but I like mine better :)
- Some people say they don't believe we really killed Osama bin Laden. What do you think?
- And if we did, then NO, I don't need to see the proof....no photos, videos, nothing. Not something to celebrate in that manner. If he ain't dead, he'll be making a mix tape next week.
- No matter what our President does, he can't please everyone. Eff 'em.
- Our First Lady is so fly! She works the Dougie :-) LOL!
- This week's throwback! You KNOW I was feelin' this - they bring out ALL the Philly in me :-)
Go!
-b
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
As a male, I have always wondered if women cheat. In college, I unfortunately found this out on my own when a girl I was seriously dating and madly in love with broke the news to me. She was my first love and I was completely devastated. It shattered my belief that all women were as virtuous as Lula Bell (last name omitted to protect the identity of this writer) :-)
As much as I had previously contemplated this question, as I’ve grown the question morphed into “Do married women cheat?” To give you some perspective and before allowing you to weigh in, I am a 38 year old single male that works in a professional setting where the ratio of women to men are about 7 to 1. As a relatively attractive (relative to me and my momma!), I have experienced quite a dynamic in this environment.
When I was first hired, I heard the hushed tones that emanated throughout the office about the “new guy.” I would get a random walk by of my office or, when they were feeling particularly bold, come right in and launch into conversation in spite the fact that it was known I was in a serious relationship and there were children involved. I purposefully left the impression that I was involved despite not being in an actual relationship. It can best be described as letting an alcoholic run loose in a liquor store. I figured if I set boundaries, then no lines would be crossed.
The exception being the one relationship I elected to pursue, or should I say the one the pursued me?
This relationship was questionable from the start, not only because we work together, but because she was actually…….Married. What was more shocking to me were her efforts at flirting and how this relationship developed. It was an agonizing decision as she was/is absolutely gorgeous and commands the room whenever she is present. I would see other men come into our office and hit on her relentlessly…and to think she was interested in me.
The relationship developed over 2 years in spite of this encumbrance. We spoke frequently (nightly) via phone both in and out of the office for hours a day. I could not wait to “take her ass down!” For the next 18 months I engaged her. For 18 months we flirted. Then we flirted some more. And that is all we did.
She would ultimately decide not to give in to her inhibitions, in spite of professing her love for me at one point. I had grown quite attached, and frankly was crushed by the situation (Guys I know… I set the game back ten years with this one!) You see, for 18 months she convinced me of how unhappy her marriage was and she was trying to leave (Do all cheaters use this line??) etc. We had kissed just once, and had even sexted - yet she could not bring herself to “do it.”
In my mind, “you sent me naked pictures of yourself.” I’m confused. She shared a part of herself that only someone with whom she was intimately involved with should see, yet she felt she had not cheated. She considered her actions innocent and worthy of the way her husband treated her at the time - but not cheating (WTF???)
There have been other attempts, but I have not dared to cross that line again. However, I am curious: How many of you married women have actually had extramarital affairs? Please indicate what your definition of cheating is. Would you ever reveal it to your spouse? I have a sneaky suspicion this happens more than most women care to admit.
Guys: How many of you have had an affair with a married woman and has it changed your perspective on marriage?
-Anonymous
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Fury is on vacation, so you all are stuck with me today. Someone actually sent me a “Dear Fury” letter to forward to him (the nerve!), so hopefully that will serve as our TMI Tuesday blog for June…if he doesn’t answer the letter sooner as a guest.
Now…today’s topic.
I don’t watch porn. The first time I watched one was in college, my freshman year. Ironically enough, my roommate "borrowed" a tape from a guy she was dating so I could see one – and he is now a very famous porn star. Go figure.
But as I watched, I remembered not thinking that much about it. The music was awful and there was no plot. I’m supposed to believe a cable guy just shows up and d*cks down an unsuspecting housewife? Yeah, okay. I know it’s all fantasy, but gimme a break. My friend reminded me that porn was not a film that I normally viewed in one of my classes for critique and meaningful discussion, but was simply meant to get you off. I quickly dismissed porn as ridiculous and not for me.
Until I saw another one...a GOOD one...years later…then I got it.
Those people had skills. They could do tricks. I was intrigued by their prowess, and it let me know just how much I DIDN’T know when it came to sex. The sex I was having was boring by comparison, so like the good student that I am, I tried to learn something new.
My next boyfriend would be my unsuspecting guinea pig. I was gonna try something I’d seen in a flick and rock his world! “Regular sex” Brooke was gone.
I attempted what I can only describe as a hybrid 69/reverse cowgirl combo….whatever that is. I should try to come up with a name for it, like the “Lynn Spin” (for any of my Girlfriends fans out there). It was going to be my signature move and he’d be addicted to me forever.
Now keep in mind, I was in my 20’s when this was going down. I was in MUCH better shape, and even with a bum knee, I was very nimble. I’ve never had a problem with flexibility, and my enthusiasm was that of a cheerleader. It was gonna be on and poppin’!
At first it was great, and he was thoroughly pleased that I took some initiative in the “puttin’ in on him” department. I’ve always been an active participant in my own sex life, so I was stepping up my game so to speak. I took pride in that actually :-)
All was going well until we got a little too excited. I was buckin’ like a banshee, a wild child in a sexy rodeo until….I fell off the bed.
Since then, I think I’ve come close to falling off the bed maybe 2 more times. I’ve become more aware of my surroundings in the heat of the moment. Thank goodness I’m not much of a drinker, cuz Lawd knows what bedroom mishaps I would have suffered if I’d actually been drunk. By the way, having sex with a drunk person can be dangerous as well, simply because they don’t have a full grasp of their faculties, and therefore their body, as much as they should…and can accidentally knock you in the teeth or something.
Most people forget sex is exercise, so if you’re trying to have sex like a porn star, you might need to get in shape. I’ve pulled many a “sex muscle” trying to twist my body like a pretzel or get into some position I had no business attempting. Nothing dries you up more than a Charlie Horse…trust me.
So…with that said, STRETCH before you try twisting someone’s back out. I’m a back breaker when I’m in shape, but otherwise, it’s best I don’t enter the Sex Olympics until I get my weight up. I will say that it feels good to be sore from sex the next day – that means you did something right.
Since it’s TMI Tuesday, it’s your turn to tell us of any bedroom blunders or sexual mishaps you may have suffered as a result of trying to have sex like a porn star. Let’s hear it…sometimes love hurts!
Go!
-b
