Brookey's Cafe Blog

Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!

- What's up with the wild weather? The wind almost blew me away this morning!

- This week is creeping by...can it be the weekend already?

- Those Rutgers students need to go to jail for murder. I know they're being charged for cyber voyeurism and invading privacy...but that's not enough. How can people be so cruel?

- RIP Tyler Clementi.

- I haven't seen Law & Order: SVU yet this season...and I LOVE that show. As a matter of fact, I don't think I've seen ANY season/series premieres, with the exception of Boardwalk Empire, yet this fall. Messing around in the damn gym!

- But I DID check out Undercovers last night while on the elliptical machine. I could just lick Boris Kodjoe's face! Just a yummy vision of deliciousness!

- I can't stand b*tchass men. It's just not natural. Stop crying already!

- Did any of you see the lesbians on Oprah yesterday who fathered their own children? I dvr'd it and watching it now...crazy.

- Vick and McNabb this Sunday! Woo-hoo!

- I wonder if women in Atlanta and D.C. have better, or worse, gaydar than the rest of us.

- Eddie Long's accusers are all over the place now...not looking good for him...at all.

- They're saying now that he had sex with these young men on church grounds, and that he used cars, clothes and monetary gifts to seduce them. Dr. Boyce says:

Most damaging to Bishop Eddie Long, though, could be the consequences of using church funds to pursue his sexual interests with the boys in his care. Ironically, the federal government is likely to issue a stiffer punishment for misusing its money than it is for harming another human being. There are surely some federal investigators watching this case very closely.

That's just sad.

- My sister and nephew's birthdays are coming up - and I swear Ibrahim's been talking about his birthday for 6 months now. He has big plans for his 4th birthday, even though we have no idea what those plans are :-)

- I still haven't seen The Town yet...but I may check that out, along with The Social Network, this weekend.

- Rameer offered me a trade in Fantasy Football and I have no idea what to do. I'm doing some research...and it feels like some serious homework! As if I don't have enough to worry about going against Kellie this weekend...who has Peyton Manning as her quarterback. Great. :-)

- I hope they don't boo Donovan TOO BAD this Sunday. But it IS Philly we're talking about.

- What's for lunch?

- For Cable Guy :-)



- Brian's throwback!



Go!

-b

Happy Hump Day!

We're gonna keep it simple - Question of the Day:

It was discovered (after she put her business on blast) that a Bronx teacher used to be a stripper and a hooker. Would you care if your child's teacher - who is an excellent teacher and described as a "star" in the classroom by colleagues - was a stripper in his or her past life? Would you care if this same great teacher stripped CURRENTLY on weekends to make ends meet?

Go!

-b

Happy Tuesday!

Annamaria had some thangs on her mind today, so I'm giving her the floor - let's go!

Ladies - STEP UP!...by Annamaria.

So I was listening to Power 105.1 this morning and it's Paternity Test Tuesday, which means this woman came on to prove that this dude was her baby daddy. Now, let me first say BOTH of them were educated professionals. Both had budding careers. I believe she was an accountant and he was a doctor. Here is the part that upset me……………

The kid was THREE years old.

No, they had not been fighting about this for the past 3 years. SHE HAD NEVER TOLD HIM ANYTHING. She got pregnant while he was in medical school and CLAIMED that she didn’t want to interrupt him and his pursuit of his career. But now that he was a doctor with a flourishing practice, it was time to interrupt him.

I respect him a lot because from the beginning he never said one negative word about her. He acknowledged that he was seeing her during that time and that he did care for her back then - and that the baby may be his. He said that he would definitely step up to the plate if it was his child. His only complaint: WHY DID SHE WAIT 3 YEARS TO TELL HIM?

This chick gave EVERY reason in the book as to why she didn’t tell him. She was scared, she wasn’t sure how he would react, she didn’t want him to stop going to school. Then they asked her why she decided to pursue this now. Her answer was clear: I need financial help….OH! and I think he should have a relationship with his son and it’s time they met.

I’m sure we can all predict what happened next. The baby wasn’t his. BUT this is not what angered me.

What angered me was what if this kid WAS his? Because of her selfishness, this man was robbed of 3 years of his son’s life. He wasn’t there when that kid was born, came home from the hospital, said its first word, took its first step. And now, who knows how long it’s going to take her to find his real father? And now that man is expected to come and bond with a 4 or 5 year old?

What kills me even more is this woman will be the SAME woman fighting in court to get retroactive child support for the time he didn’t even know that he was a father. I’m angry because my daughter has an excellent dad who was there for all of her "first's" to applaud her. And there are a bunch of wonderful dads who read this blog (Geeque, Cable Guy, Dmoe, Floyd, etc.) And while this chick was mentally counting all the money she was gonna get from this dude ALL he was upset about was the 3 years he missed out on.

Now I am going to say what NO WOMAN is supposed to say: Ladies STEP THE F*CK UP. Give these dudes a break. A child is not a toy or a pawn or a potential check. A child is a human being. They are our future and every decision we make affects them.

If the child's father doesn’t love you anymore - get over it and raise your kid together like two grown people. If a man is paying child support and is trying to have a relationship with his kid, THEN LET HIM. There are LOTS of good men out here trying to be fathers, and every day women make it harder and harder for them. And these are the same women complaining that there are no good men out there.

Use that money ON THE KID. I hate to see a woman getting a child support check and their kid looks a hot mess. Women - take a GOOD look at yourself in the mirror before you come at these dudes to make sure YOU are doing everything you can be doing before you go tell someone that they aren’t doing their job. And PLEASE, PLEASE ladies, be more careful about your sh*t. If you wanna sleep with 2 or 3 men - USE A CONDOM. Don’t sit up in a radio station talking about "It’s his, it’s definitely his" and then when they read the results, you look stupid like, "ummm... well maybe it could be ONE other persons…"

Yes there are some f*cked up men out there. But a part of me wonders - were they always f*cked up OR did we make them that way?

-Annamaria

Happy Monday everyone!

I’ve neglected writing a blog on the Bishop Eddie Long sex scandal for a week now, mainly for two reasons. 1) I tend to stay away from potentially polarizing subjects such as ones having to do with religion or politics, and 2) this scandal comes as no surprise to me. Not that I believe all men and women of God are wolves in sheep’s clothing, but I also know that men and women of the cloth are human beings first – flaws and all.

I really didn’t know much about Eddie Long before all this happened. The only time I heard him speak anything remotely close to a sermon was when he appeared in Tyler Perry’s film Daddy’s Little Girls. Other than that, nothing. I don’t really pay much attention to televangelists or those who preside over megachurches. There just seems to be something wrong with blinged out bishops and pimped out pastors. I’ve been to a couple of megachurches and something just didn’t sit right with me. I understand that a congregation has to financially support the church in order for it to grow, and I believe pastors, reverends, bishops – whatever you call them – deserve to be compensated for their counsel and good work.

But if the pastor is rockin’ diamonds and platinum jewelry, and living in a mansion when that money could go to the homeless, then I have a problem with that.

But this isn’t about my disdain for meganchurches and ministers who push Bentleys. It’s about people who worship pastors more than they do the Lord. I understand that we seek understanding from our ministers, and that our relationship with God is closely tied to the church and those who lead it. We long for that union with God – and in standing in a crowded arena filled with hundreds/thousands of other folks and the Spirit – we have no other purpose than attracting the attention, admiration and love of God through the person who is delivering the sermon.

But in seeking a relationship with God, I believe some get lost – not realizing that the relationship you seek with God is within – not in pleasing your pastor. Many people give tons of money to the church to support their pastors thinking that this is the path to riches and prosperity. But the source of love you seek with God is within, and once you tap into that, you will find a source of love sufficient to fulfill your needs, attract your greatest good fortune and create abundant happiness in your life.

We can all be dazzled by charismatic speakers, charming orators, people who lift our spirits with the rise and fall of their voices. This isn’t to say that you should go to some boring church with a boring minister who carefully maps out your salvation by conditioning you to attend mass, or a praise shouting Baptist church, Bible study every Saturday or singing in the church choir. I’m not here to intellectually defend my faith, or anyone else’s, or tell you not to have faith in your spiritual advisers. I’ve gone to church all my life, learned all the teachings and lessons of the Bible and have loved all of my pastors dearly. But the truth is, in all my years of religious training and in all the sermons preached every Sunday, the one thing I’ve taken from it all is that we only come to God when we seek HIM, not please those who are in the world. That moment of awakening is internal, and once you know who God is, you know who You are…and they are one.

Who knows if Bishop Long is guilty or innocent of the charges filed against him. It doesn’t look too good for him, but we should all be innocent until proven guilty. His press conference, if you want to call it that, gave us no answers as to his guilt or innocence. We just know that he’s going to fight the charges against him. His congregation supported him, which is to be expected.

But we should know that just as Long said himself, he’s not perfect. We put our spiritual advisers on a pedestal and believe they can do no wrong. We don’t believe that they can be hypocrites, preaching against homosexuality while they themselves are engaging in homosexual behavior. We turn a blind eye to issues involving the black church, such as homosexuality, because the pastor says it’s wrong. We think that because he has a wife and children, he can’t be gay. As our counselor, we believe he would never steer us wrong.

But a pastor who would take your money to floss with isn’t above such things if you ask me. And while the age of sexual consent is 16 in Georgia, this doesn’t mean that he is above abusing his power as a man of God. I don’t care if he’s gay, but I do have a problem with hypocrisy and abuse of power, authority and trust.

A pastor’s purpose is to point us in the direction towards enlightenment. Pastors, ministers, reverends, bishops, priests, imams, rabbis, sages, seers, mystics – they all suggest various paths to the realization of God…and whatever awakens us to consciousness of the Spirit should be the sole concern of these wise teachers. We share in the divinity of God and echo the teachings of all enlightened souls and saints down through the ages who tell us that we and the Father are one - and that the God you seek is not in a man, but is the one you discover in yourself.

-b

TGIF!!

Happy Birthday to Princess (MY Princess, not Rameer's :-)...and Happy Early Birthday to our very own Monica Gonzalez...aka, DMoe's nemesis "MoMo." We're partying this weekend!

Sexy Survey time!

1. Men - would/could/have you ever had sex with a pregnant woman where the child she was carrying wasn't yours? Women - ever been in that situation? If not...what is your take on women who have sex while pregnant, but not with the baby's father?

I know that's a weird question, but I'm taking a poll.

2. What body part do you admire most on the opposite sex?

3. Men - which would you admire most: a man with a successful marriage, or a man with a successful career? Ladies, same question...as it pertains to women.

4. Have you ever entered into a monogamous, committed relationship with someone you haven't yet been intimate with?

5. Is sex better in a relationship, or is casual sex better?

6. Would/could you ever date a celibate man/woman?

7. **Inspired by Annamaria's new business** - Women: would you/have you used a sex toy during sex with your partner? How did he react - did he encourage it, or was he turned off by it? Men: Would you have a problem with a woman introducing sex toys into your belly smackin' sessions? LOL!

8. They say, "A man comes for sex, but stays for love." Men: What qualities in a woman keep you coming back for more? Women: same question - what keeps a man from becoming (Black) history?

9. Do you have a positive or negative opinion/outlook on marriage?

10. Men: Do you care about stretch marks? Women: Do you care about beer bellies?

Go!

-b

Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!

- John Legend and The Roots tonight at Terminal 5! Yeah!

- I missed all the season premieres last night messing around with Deebo. Dang it!

- Why do people feel the need to update their relationship status as "It's Complicated" on Facebook? Either you are or you aren't....and if you're not sure, why should WE care?

- I copped a Vick jersey last year when they were only $20. Feelin' kinda saavy right about now :)

- Speaking of Vick, this was not cool.

But then again, I'd expect nothing less from a tabloid. I wonder what the headlines would read if he took us to the playoffs.

- Love Indian Summer weather :-)

- I have to replace my phone already. I have no idea why I can't keep a phone from getting wet.

- We only have Deebo once a week now - have to figure out what to do on the days we don't have him so I don't get flabby...er.... :-)

- I still haven't renewed my car registration. Will definitely do it today.

- I have to see The Town. I've heard nothing but good things about it so far.

- I love really dark nail polish, but hate when it chips.

- NeYo was here yesterday but I didn't get a chance to meet him :-( LOVE NeYo!

- Braylon Edwards is an idiot. And not just because of the ridiculous beard. Loved the Jets win last weekend though!

- I won my fantasy football game! I thought I won the first game, but I was robbed...by half a point!

- I'm kinda feelin' Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair." She sounds grown, and a bit RiRi'ish, but I dig it!

- Is it too soon to ask who's having a Halloween party?

- I put my FOOT in that cheesecake last weekend. The Passion Party was so much fun! I'd post pics, but the women may not appreciate that. Well...that...and I can't find the USB cord that connects my camera to the computer :-)

- B's throwback!




Go!

-b

Happy Hump Day!

So it seems yesterday’s Dear Brookey letter and subsequent advice struck a nerve with some people – not necessarily with the commenters on the blog, but with a few folks who contacted me offline. They were of the thought that men were supposed to pay for dates…at least early on anyway. And some felt that it is ALWAYS a man’s job to treat his lady…no matter how much money he or she may make - and that was from men AND women. They said those were “just the rules.”

The dating/courtship process, it seems, hasn’t gotten any easier, even though we’ve been doing it since forever. Before we even get to decide who pays for the date, we have to get to the actual date first. “I have her number, now what?” is a question a lot of men stress over. “He texted me instead of calling me, so is this a casual thing or is this a real date?” Women have no clue. Why do we make things more complicated than they need to be?

I guess it’s because we have preconceived ideas of how things are “supposed” to be. But with technology and women asserting their independence more and more, “traditional” views of dating and courtship can get a little murky. So instead of telling you all how I think dating and courtship should flow in my world, I’m going to pose the questions to all of you today to get a sense of your different perspectives when it comes to this topic.

Let’s see what you have to say :-)

1. Men – once a woman gives you her number and lets you know she’d be interested in a date, do you ask her on the spot or wait to contact her? And if you wait to ask her out, how much time do you let pass after getting her number before you contact her for the date?

Women – how long do you give a man to contact you after you give him your number before you write him off?

2. Men – when first contacting a woman, do you call or text her? And why?

Women - if a man texts you as his first contact with you after getting your number – is that a no-no in your book, or is that permissible?

3. If you suggest the date, do you plan it completely, or do you decide to do something spontaneous once you meet up?

4. If you suggest the date or do the asking, do you automatically assume that you’re paying for the date?

5. What is a typical first date for you? Drinks, dinner and/or a movie, or something off-beat, different and fun?

6. Do you plan something expensive for the first date in order to impress him/her, or keep it simple and on the "economy" side as not to pressure either of you?

7. Do you plan dates for the weekend, or is a weekday easier for you most times?

8. Men – do you plan dates around payday? Or do you suggest getting together even if you can’t plan/pay for a date that week? Women, do you expect to be wined and dined at every meeting and only prefer to be contacted when he can afford to take you out, or are you willing to spend time with someone even if it means you can’t go out to dinner or a movie? If he can’t pay, do you offer to treat him to a night out?

9. How many dates constitutes “dating” in your opinion? How long do you date before you expect to be considered in an exclusive relationship? Do you have a cutoff before you move on to dating someone else if you aren’t in an exclusive relationship? ie:…say, after 6 months?

10. When dating, do you tend to date one person at a time, or do you typically date several people at once until an exclusive relationship is established?

Go!

-b

Happy Tuesday! Let's go!

Dear Brookey,

Let me know your take on this. I recently started seeing a guy who seems to be nice so far. He paid for the first date, and received comp tickets to a concert for our second date. I figured I would offer to pay for our third date to show him that I’m capable of showing him a good time too. He didn’t allow me to pay for the entire dinner, but said we could go "dutch." Since then, we’ve been going dutch on everything we do – down to the penny. I like to be wined and dined when in the courtship stage, and even though I know we’re in a recession, I think that’s important. He’s a great guy, we have a good time, but I get the sense that he’s a bit cheap. Am I being petty or should a man go out of his way to let you know he’s serious early on by pampering a lady a little bit?

Dating on the Dime

Dear "Dating on the Dime",

I think the word you're looking for is "superficial" not "petty." And I say that with L.O.V.E :-)

Every woman likes to be wined and dined during the courtship stage of a relationship. But being wined and dined is NOT the only indication that a man is serious about you. There are some men who have money to burn, and there are some men who are smart and/or frugal with their money. You used the word "cheap"…but is that really an accurate assessment of him?

If he took you to McDonald’s and told you you could only get two apple pies for a dollar while he got a Big Mac and a shake for himself – then maybe he’s a bit cheap. But going dutch may simply mean that he has a budget that he needs to stick to and he’s not going to blow the rent money on trying to impress you with fancy dinners and concert tickets. And if you can offer to pay for a date to show him a good time as well, then what is the big deal?

It seems to me you offered to pay for dinner to show him that you're self sufficient, but deep down inside, you want to be taken care of. You can't be mad at him for taking you up on your offer to pay - and he only allowed you to pay for yourself, not him. Some men would let you treat them EVERY SINGLE TIME, so be glad you're not dating THAT dude :-)

I may not be the right person to go to for advice on this subject, because I find frugality and financially responsible men to be sexy. While “cheap” may not get you moist, not being able to buy a house, having bad credit, and drowning in debt are sure fire ways to dry me up like the Sahara. I think men who are savers are smart, and a good quality to look for in a potential long term mate. Men who feel the need to floss by buying “toys” (flat screens, every gadget under the sun, clothes, jewelry, cars, etc.) are usually lacking in character and are insecure. I prefer creative men who can show me a good time while being down-to-earth and not overly concerned with superficial things. The size of his flat screen won’t make up for any other place he’s...uh...lacking. Usually, the bigger the car, the smaller his…..feet ;-)

At the end of the day, I prefer a man who is generous with his time, energy, love and affection – not just his wallet. While a man spending money on you is nice, it’s not what matters most in the grand scheme of things. It makes no sense for him to break the bank winning you over, only to be broke when you get married and have to climb out of the debt he’s created in order to get you. Even if he’s not treating you on a date, is he treating you WELL on the date? Treating someone doesn’t have to be expensive, and treating someone well is free.

-b

TGIF!

Looking forward to the weekend!

Sexy Survey time!

1. What is the strangest/craziest thing you've ever done to get a man/woman's attention?

2. Which do you prefer - to be appreciated? or understood?

3. Do you think ambitious men/women make good/bad partners? Should one of you be more ambitious than the other in order for the relationship to work, or can two equally ambitious people live in harmony?

4. In your opinion, can a one night stand/jump-off/friend with benefits ever turn into lasting love?

5. If a close friend asked you to join him/her in a threesome, would you consider it?

Go!

-b

Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!

Sorry I didn't blog yesterday, but I was so busy and tired that I could barely come up for air. I'd rather not post anything than just write some 'ole nonsense - but I appreciate that some of you missed the blog family yesterday :-)

- The Jay-Z & Eminem concert on Tuesday was FIYA! Every minute of it was amazing, the crowd was bananas, the performances were sick! I just can't stop raving about it! Best concert ever!

- Next up, Eagles vs. Redskins on Oct. 3rd. I will definitely be in the building!

- Kevin Kolb didn't pass the "concussion test." Vick is running offense in practice and they're still saying "we'll see" when it comes to him starting or not this weekend. Just give the man a chance already!

- I won my first game in Fantasy Football by half a point. Whew! It's only week 1 though, and my quarterback SUCKED last Monday night. Let's hope he shapes up for the next game.

- Why do some men treat me like I'm not a real football fan?

- Passion Party this weekend, can't wait! We're gonna have so much fun Annamaria!

- No, men are still NOT allowed to come.

- Deebo got us good last night. I'm a bit sore...but I needed it.

- Finally got a new phone....I hate learning new phones. I just need to make calls and text - I don't need all that other fancy stuff.

- Do any of you care about LeAnn Rimes talking about her cheating ways?

- Zay, I got your message - I owe you a call this afternoon! It was great hearing your voice!

- I think my breastesses are getting bigger...very strange, and not good.

- It's a nice day, but I'm not liking this new, chillier air. The news says it's 67 degrees right now. I don't like that.

- Doctor shot at Johns Hopkins - what is going on people?!

- Did I mention the Jay/Em concert was HOT!? Okay, I'll stop now :-)

- I had the best time at Six Flags last Friday with my family - I miss them :-) They mean the world to me...I'm so blessed!

- Throwback time! Brian's choice this week - "somebody said you had it goin' on!"




Go!

-b

Happy Tuesday!

I saw this as my friend Patrick's FB status today and it made me laugh a bit:

‎"Aiyo! You in that fuchsia dress!! Gawwd Daamn! You've got a badonka-donk!! I just wanna smack dat and ride in the waves!!!" --Tracy Morgan

That was bad, but I can picture Tracy Morgan's face as he says it and I just start laughing. Even if he isn't always funny, he's funny looking at least :-)

I've heard some doozies in my day when it comes to pick up lines. The best "worst" ones usually come from short dudes who want to show me that they're not intimidated by my 5'10" frame.

"Yo Ma, I'd love to climb that tree!"

Not very original, but they get cool points for mustering up the nerve to say anything...no matter how cornball it is. I mean...I know I'm tall...but c'mon son.

I know sometimes men have a hard time approaching women, so they feel that strolling up to us armed with a great pick-up line will get them "in there." Why men still believe in pick-up lines is beyond me, but hey - if you believe in them and you need them in your life in order to get our phone number, then at least be creative...and confident...with them.

Even the funniest pick-up line can fall flat if you don't display any confidence...or at least smile. Sometimes, no matter what you say - if we don't "believe"you, it won't work. Once a guy said to me, "Can you spare a few minutes so I can hit on you?" He asked me like he was asking if I wanted cheese on my burger or something. No "ummph." It could have been cute if he flashed his brilliant smile with a sparkle in his eyes - but no such luck - he didn't deliver the line correctly. You don't have to be Chris Rock or Tracy Morgan to get a laugh - but if "funny" isn't your strong suit, then simply say "hello."

Even if you aren't the cutest guy in the crowd, funny will win us over usually...or at the very least, keep the conversation going. One guy who wasn't necessarily my type, but who had a gentle, pleasant face said to me once, "Excuse me, but my friend wants to know if you think I'm cute." He said it with such confidence with this huge grin on his face that just screamed "I'm cute, lick my face!" His delivery was adorable, and I couldn't help but laugh. He was a delight to talk to and I wound up giving him my number.

However, it's one thing to deliver a cute, funny line...and another to do a stand-up routine right there on the spot. You got a laugh - don't push it. Nothing is more of a turn-off than a dude who is trying to be TOO funny, or who is more concerned with perfecting his routine than actually getting to know you. Pick-up lines are to break the ice, and the subsequent conversation is FAR more important than the opening line. If you start stringing together a bunch of pick-up lines together as your entire conversation, then you'll end up sounding like you're getting dating advice from your 12 year old brother.

Oh, and stay away from dirty jokes/opening lines too. You might get slapped...and you come off as a bit creepy. Jus sayin.

Rule of thumb for pick-up lines - keep it short, clean and simple - and funny and creative. We've heard them all before - trust me - so make sure your line reflects your personality and not something you heard in a movie. There's only one Denzel...and this ain't the movies.

Most times, a man can get a feel from a woman on if she wants him to come over and talk to her. She'll give him an inviting smile with a twinkle in her eyes that goes along with her lingering glance - in which case an opening line may not be necessary. If a woman isn't attracted to you, then it won't matter what you say unless your opening line is "I just hit the Mega Millions." So don't take offense if your best line falls on deaf ears. She's just not that into you.

Same goes for you ladies.

But if she's giving you the "come over here Big Daddy" look, then slapping your on your best smile and a little bit of confidence is all you need to simply come up to her and say...hello.

-b

- I have to ramp up my exercise routine and start preparing my meals again. I wanna wear a freakum dress for my birthday!

- That being said, my knee is killing me today! :-(

- I'm going to Six Flags Great Adventure tomorrow with my family, so I may not post a blog on Friday. Anyone wanna guest blog for me? :-)

- Burning the Koran is the work of the devil - more on that possibly tomorrow if I don't get a guest blogger.

- Lime Chicken Burgers from Trader Joe's are the bomb! I brought those for lunch today!

- Machete was a bloody, but good movie - and very political. Go check it.

- On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate yourself?

- Joy Behar from The View said that women should never turn their naked body to a man, meaning they should back out of the room so that a man won't see her behind. I've never heard that...ever! Trust me, if I'm backing out of a room naked, chances are we've already done the do and you've seen everything already - from the back and all. Insecurity is NOT sexy.

- Brian is making me post this:




Can you tell I lost a bet?

And now for the throwbacks! It's a double feature today - Brian was feeling extra generous I see :-)







I'm over here jammin'!

Go!

-b

Happy Hump Day!

I have a guest blogger today! He enlightened us with his "French Fry Factor" blog, and now he's back to give us a taste of his "musical snobbery." Let's go!

Musical Matches...by Sho E Nuff.

“Music makes me high”….

Now, I have been told...and I sadly agree, that I am a music snob. Doesn’t mean I have some degree in music or I’m classically trained or anything. It simply means that if you like what I don’t, I may look down on you. It’s not fair in any way, but dammit its honest. Now, in my defense, I am open to many types of music and have gathered a great deal of knowledge about music - so I’m not totally unreasonable.

The reason this came to my mind is because the other day I was having a conversation with a young lady. Now, she was very attractive, very intelligent - but then she says, “I think Drake is a musical visionary.”

……WHAT?

(rewind...playback)

“I think Drake is a musical visionary.”

….whoa Nellie!

Now, I think Drake is a talented dude...but visionary? He only has one album and she is labeling him with a word used to describe icons like Prince, Stevie...hell even Kanye in some sense.

Which brought me to a question - Can you be in a relationship with someone long term if your musical tastes don’t match?

Not saying that Drake is far from my taste, this is just a general question. Can a heavy metal lover and country music fanatic find love as a couple?

Now for myself , music is very important to me, and if you are my age and all you pump in your iPod is Waka Flaka, Justin Bieber and Nikki Minaj(anitis), then we will NOT work out. I don’t have a syllabus as to what you must like in order to be with me, but I’m sure there is a breaking point for everyone. One time I literally left in the middle of a first date because she said, “Ja Rule is a musical genius”




WHAT? Check please.

Now I have heard people say that sometimes the music is just what they like and not reflective of themselves - but it does reflect... even if it’s a teenie, tiny bit. You can learn a lot about me by what I listen to and I’m sure that is true for many people. The same is true about what people watch, read and wear (gold teeth included).

Now maybe I’m being a little too strict - that is possible - but when it comes to a relationship I can’t worry about being PC…….

- Sho E. Nuff

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Happy Random Thoughts Thursday!

Countdown to Labor Day weekend - I could use a good three days off!

- ANOTHER oil rig explosion off the coast of Louisiana - twelve people reported overboard and one missing, the Coast Guard says. What is going on??!!

- I'm so grateful that the situation at the Discovery Building yesterday ended with all their employees safe and sound. I have friends there, thank God!

- T.I. is determined to stay in trouble isn't he? What is wrong with him and his boo?

- Paris Hilton says the cocaine that fell out of her purse wasn't hers. Right...and Katt Stacks is a virgin.

- Speaking of Katt Stacks...why do people pay her ANY attention? Melo and LaLa...stop it.

- This weekend seems like it'll be a movie weekend - what to see?

- I feel like I've been spending a lot of money lately on nothing in particular. I have to get a hold on that.

- I still haven't made my hair or car inspection appointments. They are important in THAT order :-)

- My nephews were watching Shaq vs. Justin Bieber, and they called me to ask me if I could teach them how to dance like him. They are 6 and 3 and a half years old...how are they into Justin Bieber all of a sudden?

- Cheryl Burke is paired with Rick Fox on Dancing with the Stars. His girlfriend better watch out, cuz Cheryl copped some jewels from Ochocinco ;-)

- Monica is on her way to Aruba today, so I'll be by my lonesome at lunchtime and in the gym tonight :-( Anyone wanna have lunch with me?

- I've been trying to pay more attention to Twitter, but I just don't get the appeal. I realize it would be a good tool for my blog, but other than that...I really don't get it.

- I wish I was on the beach right now. Especially since Hurricane Earl will probably mess up the day tomorrow.

- A friend of mine asked this question of the day: What is the best money you've ever spent?

- I hope to go to the zoo this weekend :-) Let's see if Brian takes me...

- I think I'll have Chinese for lunch today. Haven't done that in a while.

- and then go shoe shopping :-)

- Brian's throwback joint this week:



The dopeness :-)

Go!

-b

Happy Hot-As-The-Devil Wednesday!

Loving it! I'm soaking up all the last bits of summer that I can. We still have three weeks of it left, no matter what the back-to-schoolers say :-)

So today, my blog is more of a question of the day: Do you care what a man/woman does for a living?

I'm more curious to hear what men have to say about this, only because this was a conversation that Brian (of RTT Throwback fame) and I were having the other day. We were discussing women who refuse dates from the Fedex man and only date men in suits and are CEO's of companies, while they themselves are receptionists or work at The Gap. We wondered aloud if the CEO of a company would consider dating her, or if he'd turn up his nose at her the same way she turns up her nose at the Fedex man.

Brian said that he finds women with ambition attractive, and that a woman with no plan or goals in life are not women he'd consider dating. But then there was the "French Fry Factor" guest blog I featured a little while ago that spoke to the contrary. So what say you?

Personally, what someone does for a living isn't so much as important to me as to how they do it, or if they love their job. People who hate their jobs usually lead miserable lives. They're usually complaining about a bitchy boss, or their cornball coworkers, or how much money they DON'T make or how they're undervalued and overworked.

While I could complain about some of those same things, I actually still love my job. Sure there are days (like today) when I'd rather be at the beach, but I don't drag myself into work every day ready to slit my wrists either. I think my positive outlook on my career reflects in other aspects of my life, and therefore makes me a pretty happy person overall...and people seem to like the "happy." :-)

If you're not pursuing your passion, or do your job well, then you're probably not projecting the "happy" that most people look for when choosing someone to take to the movies. If you're walking around with a screw face because you hate your job, then a guy (or girl) might not approach you because you seem miserable...and who wants to take "miserable" to the movies?

But if you work the fries with a smile on your face, or you fold clothes better than anyone else at The Gap, then someone might think you'd make a fun date too. Maybe it's not about what you do for a living, but rather if you do your job well with some "soul" behind it that matters most.

Or does it?

Would you be able to date the young lady who works at The Gap because she loves fashion? Or the pleasant waitress who's into chick flicks and is a people person? Or the guy who works at Barnes & Noble because he loves to read? Or are these "jobs" not ambitious enough for you?

I find that since I've moved to NYC, having a "cool" job is a plus when dating, simply because NYC is a "cool" place to live. But having an interesting or cool job doesn't always make you cool by default, and neither does making a lot of money. The hippie dude working at The Gap may be way more fun to hang out with than the stuffy, boring Wall Street dude making lots of dough. But hey, maybe that's just my observation.

Most men I know couldn't care less what a woman does, but I think women are a little more judgmental in that area. Is it because we care more, or what people think? Is what a person does for a living part of their overall attractiveness? Or does it not matter to you? Let's hear it!

Go!

-b