Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Happy Hump Day!
I saw a man taking a “bird bath” on the subway this morning. By bird bath, I mean he was wiping himself down with a wet wash cloth, but doing it under his clothes. He didn’t appear to be homeless – his hair was cut, his clothes seemed clean…he just looked crazy. There is no reason to tell you this other than to say that he creeped everyone out on the train today – including me – and I couldn’t wait til Random Thoughts Thursday to share. That is all.
Now, the blog today.
I usually read other people’s blogs at night after I get home from the gym. It’s my time to relax and unwind and muse about the word around me. I catch up with the Witches (they can be a time suck at work if I’m not careful), Latinegro, Sugar Plum Smiles, Very Smart Brothers.com and The Fresh Xpress. Someone on my FB feed posted a link to an article on the Fresh Xpress titled “Why Are All the Pretty Girls Married?”
The article itself is not what intrigued me. I don’t think all pretty girls are married, but I DO know that being considered pretty has its perks. It’s all relative, like anything else.
However, the comments to the article were a little more interesting to me. Most of the women who commented said that they and their friends are pretty, but not married – which seemed to suggest a flaw in the author’s reasoning. The author, who is male, and other men responded this way: You may THINK you and your friends are pretty, but you probably really are not.
What struck me is that men said most women think they’re female friends are prettier than they really are. They suggested that we judge beauty on less superficial things, like character, personality, intelligence, and generally what kind of friend they are. We think our friends are beautiful simply because they’re our friends.
While they conceded that that is what we SHOULD be judging beauty on, men rate women differently – and can separate a good person from a pretty woman. One man suggested that a pretty woman is a pretty woman…and if she just happens to be smart, funny and has a great personality – that’s just icing on the cake.
Now, I’m a woman who thinks all of her friends are attractive. I can honestly say that most of the women I can call friends are pretty…if not stunning. But then again, men and women judge beauty differently – and while I think I know the difference between pretty, cute, sexy, beautiful, striking or stunning – what women find attractive in other women could be (and usually is) TOTALLY different than what men find attractive in women.
But I also disagree that ALL women think all of our friends are pretty. Not so.
If you’re an insecure woman, you might surround yourself with women you may not think other men find attractive in order to make yourself look better. It’s sad to think that a woman would choose her friends this way, but I’m sure that it happens. And some say if you think you don’t have any ugly friends or fat friends…then YOU are the ugly or fat friend. Pretty harsh right?
But even if some women feel that they have an unattractive friend, or a fat friend, chances are she’d never admit it anyway. Friendships shouldn’t be about tearing each other down, but rather lifting each other up – which is why women probably can’t see their true friends as anything other than beautiful.
But what do you think? Are women blind to “beauty” (which is truly in the eye of the beholder) or see true beauty for what it is…from the inside? Or do you think we’re more insecure than we admit and choose our friends based on how pretty (or not pretty) they are?