Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Mum's the Word

Happy Hump Day!

So I have a friend who is going through it with her man. He’s feeling a bit insecure in their relationship, so he’s accusing her of doing all things under the sun…including messing around with her ex. I wondered how he even knew anything about her ex. She said he asked, so she told him…and figured he was secure enough in himself and their relationship to handle any answer she gave him.

Now she’s thinking that was a big mistake.

Sometimes our new boo’s don’t need to know EVERYTHING. I know relationships are supposed to be built on openness and trust – and for the most part they should be – but does that mean we tell our partners EVERYTHING?

I’m gonna leave that answer up to you guys. What do I think? I think there are some things you should just keep to yourself. Like to hear it? Here it go.

- How many sex partners you’ve had. That’s even if you know the number. If it’s over 75 like Domina*Tricks, then you might wanna keep that to yourself for fear he might think you’re loosey goosey. Besides, whatever the number, he’ll think it’s too high – or he won’t believe you anyway…so just keep it to yourself. If he asks, tell him to grow up – or give him a cute answer like, “It doesn’t matter, cuz all I want is you.” Cue Miguel.

- ANYTHING about your ex(es). Don’t tell him their names, where they live, how they used to rock your world, that you're still friends on Facebook, how you still talk to his mama, none of that. All it does it make your man (or woman) feel insecure, inadequate, suspicious and crazy. If you walk into a restaurant that you and your ex used to frequent, keep it to yourself. The only time you MIGHT want to bring up your ex is if you still share mutual friends and the two of you might bump into him from time to time – and even THAT might be too much. If it’s over, then let it be over…and remain in the past.

- That you think one of his friends…or his brother…is a cutie. Nothing good can come of it. He’ll never want you around them, and anything you say to or about them will sound suspect to him. Don’t do it. And if you liked his friend first, but got him instead – keep that to yourself too.

- That he wasn’t your best sexual partner. If he asks, and he isn’t your best, just lie to him. He’ll believe you…it’ll just make things easier.

- That you went through his stuff. I believe women shouldn’t snoop, because we usually don’t like what we find…no matter how harmless it may seem. But if you DO check his phone messages, email, old letters, post-it notes, and whatever else might not be in plain veiw – and find nothing – don’t tell him. If you DID find something and are waiting for a good time to stab him in his sleep, keep it to yourself. We wouldn’t want him to “lady-proof” his sh*t after realizing you dug up dirt and now you can’t get into his account anymore ;-) I’m joking…but if you wanna act crazy…keep your crazy to yourself.

Can you think of other things your man (or woman) doesn’t need to know? I'm all ears...Go!






-b

91 comments:

The Fury said...

First Bitches!! I'm baaaaaaaaack!

Stef said...

huh? Where did FURY come from!?

Domina*Tricks said...

I love it when my name shows up in blogs - means Brooke is thinking about me ;)

The Fury said...

Your woman shouldn't know if she wasn't the best at giving you head...trust me. That only works if she's the competitive sort. Otherwise, you've just given yourself a "no head" ticket fo life.

Don't tell your man you were in a lesbian relationship unless you plan on having a threesome with him. Really...why else would you tell him?

Tony said...

"- That he wasn’t your best sexual partner. If he asks, and he isn’t your best, just lie to him. He’ll believe you…it’ll just make things easier."

Ladies, if you ever wondered why your man lies about the smallest most inconsequential things.....here is your answer....from a woman no less.

Powerz said...

@Fury - I love the second one! You know her man will think of only one theing after that!!! lmao

Yolanda said...

I say share the things that really matter or are important to the new relationship (i.e.: "it burns when I pee, is that happening to you too?" and the like). And share the things that reveal who you really are. If you need to tell the story of how someone wronged you so badly because that one story will give your partner a better indication of why you don't trust easily or why there's such a wall around your heart...then, tell it (not on the first date or anything). But the specifics that only stand to make the other person insecure (i.e.: penis size, oral abilities, etc)... keep those to yourself.

Sillouette said...

Hey All..

There are just things that you keep to yourself and should not be said at all.
I personally don’t care to hear about your ex's, because one you start them then you
Usually can’t shut them up.. Whether it’s good or bad info. I don’t care to know YOUR
number of how many women you bed, who was the best, your chemistry with a certain person, none
of that because what you end of doing is indirectly insulting that person. Don’t ask me about my Ex’s , Well why…
because they are just that EX”S they don’t matter. Where A LOT of people mess up in a relationship sometimes is that
they tell TOO MUCH, TOO QUICK sometimes… And don’t ask if you not prepared for the answer and in which sometimes we never are. So that’s why I never asked.. And unfortunately I got info I could of cared less to hear anyways… Certain info will make you question your partner.. and possibly make them look differently to you than before. ANd one of the worst things y ou can do is, and I say NEVER , I repeat NEVER throw your an ex in your partners face. That by for is one of the most direspectful and damaging things you can do to a person. Its very degrading and hurtful along with a everlasting bruise.

I personally have snooped a few times. And the first time I started to snoop is because the person was accusing me of crazy things, that was just NOT TRUE, and you know how the saying goes they accuse you when they are doing dirt.. And I will say that I snooped because of that and I believe in the saying “Seeing in Believing”, no one can back out of something of deceit when you have hardcore proof in front of their face. And I never did it to just do it. I did it because I had a hard gutt feeling something was not right and seemed extremely suspicious to me and then a few follow ups. And if someone is doing something dishonest ,you CANNOT rely on them to tell you the truth by just asking them, because if that was the case, they would be honest with you from the jump.. And Lies make me extremely angry… So I just take matters into my own hands… Is it a violation of privacy? Yes, however your already violating that person in more ways than one… I don’t snoop anymore, and I can’t say that I won’t ever again.. But sometimes you just need to know for yourself. No one likes to be taken as a fool.

The Fury said...

@Tony - has a point...

@powerz - It's the immediate next thought. "So we're going to be joined by...whatshername?"

on the flip side. I don't need to be lied to so I don't ask questions. if you want to give me some pointers on how to make YOU orgasm harder, I'm game! I'm a good student as well as great teacher.

Oh ladies, NEVER tell your man you had a gangbang. He doesn't need to know that...

Stef said...

@Tony,

Men don't lie about small inconsequential things though, they lie about major shit!

I don't mind if he's lying to me about if an outfit makes me look fat. I care if he lies to me about f*cking my best friend! LOL!

Domina*Tricks said...

@Fury,

I was going to say the same thing - don't tell him about that threesome you had with 2 men. He won't like that - but he'd love to hear about that threesome you had with another woman.

The Fury said...

@Stef - men lie about everything...watch...what do i think of Gayle King as a host? She's cool!

I'm lying...all I was thinking about was her ass just now. LOL

Women lie too...watch...how much do you weigh?

LIE!

@Domina*tricks - Yeah he'd love to hear about that 3some you had with 2 women...but then..."so when are they both coming over?"

The Cable Guy said...

Don't ever compare us to your ex - good or bad.

@Fury, agreed - no gang bangs. And if you ever let another dude do anal, and I haven't done it to you yet - lie to me and make me think I'm the first to hit that. LOL!

Stef said...

It's funny how for women, thinking of two men having sex is gross and they're gay, but for men, thinking of two women having sex is a turn on.

The Cable Guy said...

Gayle has a fat ass.

A-Buzzzz said...

Can I say every man on this blog today is a straight up FOOL! LMAO

And that includes you POWERZ... LMAO

Latinegro said...

Tony has the best point.

Lets be real. Men are dumb, we lie about shit to protect ourselves and you. We don't really know if the truth is going to set up free or lock us up.

Personally, i think that people should be open because the truth will come out eventually.

...and lets not pretend women dont like because they do it far better than we do. There is a very good reason why some women give the best head....just sayin.

Hi stef :)

Stef said...

What the hell is that supposed to mean, they give the best head?? LOL!

Hi Ant...with your nerdy, sexy self! LOL!

Brooke didn't really say "lie" - she said keep some stuff to yourself. There's a difference.

IF he ASKS, THEN lie! LOL!

The Fury said...

don't get me wrong..you can have a gang bang. just don't tell your man you did. ;-)

uh oh @powerz are we getting you in trouble? don't go home asking questions and sh!t!

LOL @ Latinegro Yes women are the grand schemers. I look up to them for that.

..wait...did you just tell us something about Stef and her head game?

did i just read something there??

Latinegro said...

wow...I have never met Stef. So I cannot comment on said head game...

even if I did...I would not mention that :)

Stef said...

Ant doesn't know anything about my head game :)

Anonymous said...

Don't tell him you've ever had an abortion or a miscarriage.

Stef said...

well damn, that too!

or that you ever got your head stuck in a headboard :)

Powerz said...

@Fury - in my mind, I am the best at everything to A-buzz and I have no problem with that even though she agress 100%, I'm not that gullable but it works for us. We even joke about we are each other's first and we leave it at that!

Latinegro said...

haha! Stef...I would want to know that!

The Fury said...

@latinegro is a gentleman. I expected that very classy answer. Kudos

I wouldnt comment on the head game either. But if it were outstanding you would most likely get a code name and a story written about you on the blog.

BTW, if you have a sex blog, don't tell your girl. That's just way too much insecurity to conjure up.

@Stef - so do you tell a man if you have good head game or is Mums the word until it happens?

The Fury said...

@Anonymous - Wow...it depends on the person. If he's a right wing republican, you may wanna keep that hush.

@Stef - You'll have to tell because he'll wonder why you don't like it from the back.

A-Buzz said...

@POWERZ...I agree with everything you said...

@Fury.. see he's not in trouble... :)

Latinegro said...

haha! Fury and his code names! Now I am trying to think of one for Stef...

Annamaria said...

@Powerz.... Quick question though....

If I was your first, where did those two kids that keep coming over on the weekends come from????? LMAO

Stef said...

I don't know if my head game is tight or not, but he'd have to find out on his own - I don't brag. It might be wack! LOL!

So I take it your girl doesn't know you're the Fury? :)

Jaz said...

I want a code name!

Brooke's would be "Red Lips" :)

The Fury said...

@Stef - LMAO IF i had a girl I wouldn't tell her about the blog. She would know I was The Fury though ;-)

BTW, that wasn't a very confident response to the head game question...

@Powerz & @Abuzz - Those kids were born from his head like Zeus! It's so sweet that you two were each other's first...y'all keep that story going...*daps Powerz*

@Latinegro - Let's create a code name for Stef sight unseen, skills untested...

Head Mistress? Queen of The Board? hmmm...

Stef said...

I like those!

Latinegro said...

How about Head of the Board...lol

Jay said...

If a man or woman asks anything about any of these points you made, they're asking for trouble. Just be glad you're with the person now and keep it movin.

Now, thinking of code names for Brooke She didn't turn up in any of Fury's short stories did she? ;)

Powerz said...

Since the headboard story was the best thing I ever heard.....
I think the story alone qualifies Stef as having great "head" game. Apparently the guy thought so! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Good thing we a close blog family! :)

oh and @A-Buzz - I know magic...poof and they were here although I like Fury's answer better!

Stef said...

I think we heard worse stories than mine with Brooke's bedroom blunders blog...so I ain't having it!

Didn't someone bust their ass out of the shower?

Anonymous said...

.........and don't tell him if you have ever been Donkey Punched!

Brooke said...

I gotta ask...

da hell is "donkey punched"?

Anonymous said...

It's when you are fucking a chick from the back, hopefully in her ass, and just before you nut you punch her real hard in the back of the hear so that she will tighten up on your dick!

Anonymous said...

*head*

Brooke said...

okay, I'm officially speechless.

actually...I'm not.

If ANYone even THINKS to do that to me, trust me he will get f*cked up.


...now, continue :)

The Fury said...

LMAO @ Donkey punch being defined on the blog. Is this my fault?

LOL @ Latinegro Head of the Board.

Hmm I think @Jaz is a great nickname already. Can Jaz work her lips and ride the rhythm?

@Jay - Nope there are no stories about Ms. Red Lips...yet *the power of positive thinkng*

Tony said...

Actually Brooke.....I've seen it done before. Not by me but I was there.....uh....Overseas one time. Very interesting reaction by the lady.

Brooke said...

what the hell kinda tomfoolery be going on in the military!?

you were THERE?

Tony said...

well yeah....I was in the room in Hurghada Egypt.

One of my homeboys brings this woman from Ireland into the room. About four of us chillin when she starts giving head to everybody in the room. My boy goes at her from the rear and gets in her booty. She's cool with it so he continues. After a few he hauls off and Mollywops her in the back of the head. I'm like "why the fuck did you knock her out man!?" he says, "I just Donkey Punched her so she would tighten up!" Funniest shit I ever saw in my life......

Brooke said...

see...that's that bullsh*t.

The Cable Guy said...

I'm over here DYING @Tony! LMAO!

Latinegro said...

LMAO....I dont know what is funnier right now:

The fact someone mentioned Donkey Punching

The fact that it was explained

or Brooke's reaction... haha

The Fury said...

@Latinegro - ANSWER: the fact that someone told a story of watching someone Donkey Punch a Woman.

*DEAD*

A-buzzz said...

I'm crying & laughing at work...Totally unsympathetic of the person in front of me losing their house.. LOL

@Ant.... ALL OF THEM ARE EQUALLY FUNNY!

Stef said...

THAT officially tops my headboard story!

And Brooke, I'm with you, that's that bullshit!

Jay said...

DEAD @ "mollywhopped" LOL!

Tony said...

True story......I could pass up the opportunity to share it once someone brought it up....

Brooke said...

when I came to...someone would be getting f*cked up...that's all I have to say about that.

Tony said...

Your Military tax dollars at work!

Tony said...

The bad thing is that she didn't even get to get hers! Once he knocked her out no one stuck around....

Dez Knuts said...

That's an urban myth: it doesn't work.

What REALLY works is to stick your finger down her throat and she WILL tighten up.

A-buzzzz said...

Hence Brooke apparently you wouldn't be fucking no one up! LOL

Latinegro said...

This is so fucked up but I cannot help but laugh at this shit. Brooke would hunt you DOWN!!!! haha

Tony said...

@Dez Knuts.....I don't know if it worked or not it wasn't me up her ass but he sure as hell gave it the old college try!

Brooke said...

Well, to be clear, I wouldnt' be getting it up the ass anyway.

And now y'all talking about choking folks and sticking fingers down throats. What the hell is going on here? My blog took a turn :)

If you stick a finger down MY throat, you'll get hurled on. That can't be sexy...

The Fury said...

Ok I leave for a bit, come back and folks are this raw on the blog.

*kicks off shoes*

I can not stop laughing at mollywhopped

and @Abuzz is laughing as someone's dreams go down the drain.

AND @Brookey is running in the street butt naked after someone that Donkey Punched her

AND @Stef done found someone with a worse story than hers.

AND @latinegro - check your DMs cuz yeah homey I agree

All that just to make her tighter? I never had a problem with a woman being too loose *files fingernails*

Tony said...

well give it a shot! See if it's an Urban Legend...

Brooke said...

Again...if someone tries that on me, there's gonna be some furniture movin' out this piece.

and I wouldn't be butt naked - I'd put on some clothes first :)

Lastly, I don't need any help getting "tighter"

...that is all :-)

Latinegro said...

..and that is why I love Brooke... lol

The Fury said...

@Brooke - Please? pretty please?? LOL

Courtney said...

***doing kegels as I type so no one has to donkey punch me***

This blog is off the chain today. I don't even remember the original topic!

Brooke said...

Pretty please what? :)

The Fury said...

@courtney - hmmm kegels, huh...

the topic is mums the word as in...

Never tell your man you've been Donkey punched unless you want him to laugh out loud then shake his head and feigned horror

The Fury said...

@brooke - with sugar on top?

Hayden said...

Is the sex so boring that people have to come up with new way for a woman to tighten up?

Some of y'all are watching too many porn movies...

Brooke said...

No..Fury, I'm asking...what are you pleading for me to do? I'm confused :)

Hayden is horrified by us now :)He's Powerz and Anna's friend :)

Thanks for chiming in!

The Cable Guy said...

The original topic was what NOT to tell your man - had no idea donkey puching was something someone would need to keep a secret LOL!

The Fury said...

@Brooke - Please join me in a little story creation...Ms Red Lips ;-)

@hayden - yeah some people just need to spice up their lives...

Brooke said...

any time you wanna write a story with me, I'm in!

Stef said...

I think Fury wants you to be the INSPIRATION for his next story, not to write it with him :)

The Fury said...

@brooke - Mums the word...hehehehe

The Fury said...

@Stef - CORRECTION: I want Brooke to be the star of the story. that's not bad is it? I mean, would you want to be the star of a story, Ms. Head of the Board?

Latinegro said...

@fury, of course stef does... I can write that story and we can compare...lol

Stef said...

I don't think I got Brooke's skills after reading that Red Lips story she wrote last week!

Brooke said...

um...we do not know if I was writing about MYSELF in the Red Lips story....just sayin.

It was purely fiction :)

Stef said...

Yeah right, and I'm the Queen of England!

Tony said...

well my job here is done! Have a good night everyone!

The Cable Guy said...

yeah Tony, you killed 'em with that donkey punching story. Best story I heard in a LONG time!

The Fury said...

@Stef - You never know what you're capable of if you put your mind to it.

@Latinegro - ah that sounds like a plan...hehehe

@Brooke - hmmm ok Red Lips waa fiction, but you talk a good game...

Brooke said...

I'm good at that ;-)

The Cable Guy said...

I bet Brooke can back up everything she says too...mmm.mmm.mmm

Serena W. said...

Every time I'm out on the field for the day I miss the blogs with almost 100 comments lol!

Agree with keeping stuff yourself, I've seen too many friends like the woman in the blog share way too much and they are always in question now OR he's so insecure he uses her old stuff to get at her when they are in arguments. Just ugly and punkish in my opinion!

The same goes for telling your friends way too much! I learned my lesson on that and even now there are questions that are asked and I have to politely tell people that's between me and him. For those extra nosey people I just have to be straight up and say, "It's really none of your business."

So are these two still in a relationship? Is she still be accused of being with her ex???

Brooke said...

they're still together, working it out :)

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