So I have a friend who is going through it with her man. He’s feeling a bit insecure in their relationship, so he’s accusing her of doing all things under the sun…including messing around with her ex. I wondered how he even knew anything about her ex. She said he asked, so she told him…and figured he was secure enough in himself and their relationship to handle any answer she gave him.
Now she’s thinking that was a big mistake.
Sometimes our new boo’s don’t need to know EVERYTHING. I know relationships are supposed to be built on openness and trust – and for the most part they should be – but does that mean we tell our partners EVERYTHING?
I’m gonna leave that answer up to you guys. What do I think? I think there are some things you should just keep to yourself. Like to hear it? Here it go.
- How many sex partners you’ve had. That’s even if you know the number. If it’s over 75 like Domina*Tricks, then you might wanna keep that to yourself for fear he might think you’re loosey goosey. Besides, whatever the number, he’ll think it’s too high – or he won’t believe you anyway…so just keep it to yourself. If he asks, tell him to grow up – or give him a cute answer like, “It doesn’t matter, cuz all I want is you.” Cue Miguel.
- ANYTHING about your ex(es). Don’t tell him their names, where they live, how they used to rock your world, that you're still friends on Facebook, how you still talk to his mama, none of that. All it does it make your man (or woman) feel insecure, inadequate, suspicious and crazy. If you walk into a restaurant that you and your ex used to frequent, keep it to yourself. The only time you MIGHT want to bring up your ex is if you still share mutual friends and the two of you might bump into him from time to time – and even THAT might be too much. If it’s over, then let it be over…and remain in the past.
- That you think one of his friends…or his brother…is a cutie. Nothing good can come of it. He’ll never want you around them, and anything you say to or about them will sound suspect to him. Don’t do it. And if you liked his friend first, but got him instead – keep that to yourself too.
- That he wasn’t your best sexual partner. If he asks, and he isn’t your best, just lie to him. He’ll believe you…it’ll just make things easier.
- That you went through his stuff. I believe women shouldn’t snoop, because we usually don’t like what we find…no matter how harmless it may seem. But if you DO check his phone messages, email, old letters, post-it notes, and whatever else might not be in plain veiw – and find nothing – don’t tell him. If you DID find something and are waiting for a good time to stab him in his sleep, keep it to yourself. We wouldn’t want him to “lady-proof” his sh*t after realizing you dug up dirt and now you can’t get into his account anymore ;-) I’m joking…but if you wanna act crazy…keep your crazy to yourself.
Can you think of other things your man (or woman) doesn’t need to know? I'm all ears...Go!
Over the years, I've been blessed to have spent time with, befriend, love, learn from and share experiences with people who have helped me grow and inspire me everyday. They have shared words of wisdom, strengthened me with encouragement, gave me joy with a smile, comforted me with a hug, gave clarity to my visions and dreams and renewed my spirit with faith. It is through family and friends that I manage to be happy and hopeful.
These relationships work because we share our philosophies, our personal truths and an outlook that prompts us to seek something greater in all and in ourselves. Sharing a journey heartedly illuminates our lives and enriches our experiences. It keeps us moving....always evolving....ever changing.
I have been transformed by the wisdom, opinions, insights and revelations of those who have shared their journey with me. It's a blessing I long to share with you through my first ever blog. For me, writing is a reflection of my own direct experience and I look forward to all of you sharing your thoughts and experiences with me.
So...with that said....can I just say.....??? :-)