Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Someone recently asked me what my “type” is – the type of guy I usually fall for. While I don’t think I have a type per se, my sister always said I dated “nerdy” guys. I personally like to refer to them as “academic” – because “nerdy” seems to imply that they’re socially inept, or lack muscles and wear tight pants and thick glasses….not that there’s anything wrong with that :-)
I just always enjoyed a man who could hold a conversation, and this goes back to my teenage years when I first discovered that boys were good for more than just racing them down the street or climbing trees.
In high school, while I didn’t date much, the one boyfriend I DID have was probably considered a nerd by societal standards. He was in college, loved comic books, wore corny glasses, and the closest he got to being “edgy” was listening to Public Enemy. And I think my mother let me date him because he seemed “safe.” Most “nerds” appear to be that way…especially during their younger years.
But don’t let that sweetness, smarts, and self-deprecation fool you. They're freaks...or so I've heard ;-)
As I’ve gotten older, it seems “nerdy” guys are the preferred choice among women who overlooked them during our high school and college years. And guess what? These nerds know it. They’ve spent their 20’s and 30’s “regrouping” and growing into their intelligent sexiness and behold: they’re now some of the biggest players out there.
I actually once dated a guy that told me that he really liked me and all, but wanted to “keep me in his back pocket” until he was ready to settle down. Not because he was a commitment phobe, but because women never gave him the time of day back when he was a teenager. Now as an adult, he’s finally getting some play, and wants to milk it while he can since he never experienced it before. I told him to let me know how that works out for him and I’ll be over here…somewhere OTHER than his back pocket. The nerve! :-)
Now, the nerd dude is constantly looking for the next best thing – trading up to see how far he can get to make up for lost time. They suck women in with the “I was so intimidated by you back then” or “I was so self conscious and insecure, I could never get a woman like you” line and next thing you know, we’re smitten. Then once we buy into the idea that he’s “grateful” to be with us, BAM! He’s gone, off to the next one. It's the classic nerd boy okie doke :-)
Not that this has happened to me :-)
I’ve always appreciated the “academics” – they just never knew it. But they know it now. They thought I would’ve never dated them in high school or college because they bought into the idea that women only wanted athletes/jocks or frat boys. But men would be surprised to know that most women like the unassuming, shy guy in the corner with a perfect 4.0 GPA. You didn’t have to know how to dribble a ball, score a touchdown or belong to some group in order to get our attention. We appreciate you, just the way you are. I’ll admit most women are superficial and shallow….but not all of us. I enjoyed being one of the few women who didn't jump on the new Seth Rogan bandwagon....I always liked those "types."
Fast forward 20 years, and the nerdy guy now has CEO swag, wearing sharp suits and cardigans and funky sneakers on the weekends at the local Apple store. He’s now a “post-nerd”…an intelligent man secure in himself - in all of his adulthood splendor. That high school invisibility is now man in full view, and I have to share him with the women who were blind to him before. I took pride in being the girl who refused to date athletes, who could see the person beneath the Converse and past his horn rimmed glasses. It used to be only I could detect the sexy within…now, all my 30 something counterparts are clamoring for my “type” - and he’s loving every bit of it.