Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Happy Hump Day!
I don't even feel like blogging today - how do I even BEGIN to top yesterday's discussion?? Fury was a hit! I think I'll just turn my blog over to him on TMI Tuesdays :-)
Anyway, since I have a hard act to follow, can we just talk about women who tell too much of their damn business? Now, I've been accused of being tight-lipped, vague, private...even secretive. I don't believe that to be true, but I think what I DO consider myself to be...is a bit discreet. I can be very forthright when I want to be, but I'm not that way with everyone. And when it comes to men I'm dating, seeing, etc., I pick and choose wisely what I want to share, and how much I divulge on any given subject.
But a good friend of mine believes in total disclosure. She thinks that's her way of being "honest." While I don't LIE about my personal business, I don't spill it all willy nilly either. What prompted this topic today was a conversation I had with her last night. She told me that she thinks the guy she's been seeing may look at her differently now that she told him how many men she's slept with. Yes, you read that right...and she was honest about the number.
WTF Wednesday...here we go.
huh? why would you do that?
Her: "Well, I wanted to be honest...begin with a clean slate."
First of all, what guy still asks that question in this day and age? Really?
Second. There are ways to answer that question without telling the number, or lying. You can say, "I've been with just enough to not suck at it." Or you can smile and say, "A lady never tells...and I'm a lady."
Or my favorite. "Why do you wanna know?"
If he presses the issue, give him a kiss and distract him by saying, "The number doesn't matter since none of my exes were nearly as sexy as you Big Daddy."
That gets 'em every time :-)
She claims she doesn't "think fast on her feet" like I do - even though my answers weren't that clever if you ask me. I think women have been asked that question enough to know how to answer it by now. "How many men have you slept with?" is right up there with "Am I the best sex you've ever had?"
And guess what? If he's not the best sex you've ever had, don't tell him THAT either! Now, that may require a little fib to save his ego, but I'm sure a woman would want him to lie too if SHE wasn't the best sex he's ever had either. Just say yes and make him feel like the stud that he is.
While we're at it, here are some more things you should never tell...or admit:
1. Where you learned your signature sex move. If he didn't teach you, you don't have to tell him that the guy who was the best sex you ever had showed you how to twist your body or move your mouth like that. I'm sure he's figured out that you weren't born with that skill...so don't offer up anything else. Trust me, he could care less, so long as you're using that move on HIM now.
2. Don't tell him that you still think about your ex...especially sexually. That's a given - No dude wants to think that you see your ex's face while you're doing the nasty.
3. Don't tell him that you think his best friend is hot either. He'll never invite you to watch the game with him and his boys ever again.
4. Don't tell him that you occasionally snoop through his phone, his email, his call log, or go through his pockets while he's asleep. Obvious, I know - but I know a few chicks who have let it "slip" that they "saw" something on his phone that she shouldn't have. It's your secret.
5. Please, please, please! Don't tell him that you once had sex with your best male friend. Continue to let him think that you look at your friend like a play cousin...even if you still occasionally envision him naked.
I'm sure you can think of more, so I'll stop here. There are just some things that should remain a mystery...like how you get the hair off your va-jay-jay if you don't wax, or what you look like when you're sick, drunk or hungover. Don't tell him when you have gas or that you bleach your mustache. Men don't need to know everything, just like there are some things men should keep from us. Don't ask any questions you're not willing to answer yourself, and if you do - have your answers (or lies) prepared. Other than that, just let him wonder how you manage to be perfect all the time :-)