Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Happy Wednesday everyone!

Well, it would be a happy one if I wasn't sick :-( I've been sick all weekend, and had no chance to rest as I was busy running around with family celebrating my nephew Kyce's birthday weekend. The kids had fun, and I had a ball with them...but I'm exhausted :-( I got home at 1am last night because Kyce started crying as I was about to leave.

"I don't want you to go," he sobbed. So there I was...laying with them (Ibrahim was sound asleep) in the bed until he fell asleep. I didn't want to go either.

This happens to me every time I go home to visit. We have a great time, and then leaving them seems so painful. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, but it's never easy to leave...especially when they beg me not to.

There is nothing like the feeling of unconditional love, especially from a child. They love me just because I'm Auntie. Nothing more, nothing less. Not because I buy them toys, or give them ice cream. They love me simply because I'm there...and because I love them first.

I've always said that I couldn't love them more than if I had birthed them myself. I'm sure for some that may seem like an exaggeration considering I don't know what it's like to have any children of my own. But I honestly believe that they are a part of me. I love them as if it's MY blood coursing through their veins. I see some of myself in them, even though I'm not the one raising them. I feel them in my spirit daily and I know they feel the same way about me. It's pure joy.

I thanked my sister recently for allowing me to feel so included in her family, especially with the boys. She looked at me like I was crazy. For her, me being such an integral part of their lives is as natural as breathing. Since we are so close, it's only fitting that I'd be close to her children.

But it's more than that. She says that I "co-parent" with her. She allows me to discipline them. I talk to them. I listen to them. I encourage them. I let them know when I'm disappointed with something they've done wrong, and I celebrate their accomplishments. I hug them. I squeeze them. I tickle them. I play with them. I do homework with them. I teach them. They teach me. I wipe their tears. I kiss their face and I hold them tight. Simply put...I love them. And I feel so blessed that my sister shares them with me.

I used to get a bit annoyed when my friends would say, "Well, you can have mine" when I would discuss my fears of not ever having children of my own. Of course they don't mean that literally, and I thought they were being insensitive or dismissive to the fact that this is a real concern of mine. My sister never really said such things to me, because she understands how I feel, but she would tell me that I was already a mother - I just didn't birth any children from my own body...yet. And now I get it.

If for any reason I don't have any children of my own, I'm beginning to feel like that'll be ok. If it's God's will, then He will make that happen. But if not, I can't say that my life will be empty or incomplete. I know what unconditional love feels like from a child...from two children...not from my body - but pure love nonetheless. That's more than some people will ever know, and it's a true blessing...and today, that really is enough for me.



-b

16 comments:

DMoe said...

First bitches!

That's right.

(reading now)

DMoe aka Firston Howell III

SarKism said...

Awwww....Brooke...I so know what you are talking about. My neice was born when I was in high school and to this day, I feel a special unbreakable bond with her. I love her like my own (and yes I do have my own) and I am invested deeply in her happiness and success because she showed me that unconditional love you are talking about.

Auntie's Rock......

Rameer The Circumstance said...

Hope you feel better, Brooke-Ra. Been thinking about you, hoping you're doing well.

Great blog. My sister, who shares a father-daughter relationship with me, loves me unconditionally - even as an adult. And my nephew and niece look at me the same way as your nephews do.

Magnificent. Feel better...get rest.

Stef said...

Brooke, that blog was so sweet and heartfelt. I could feel your joy through your words, and you're so blessed to have that bond with your nephews. I'm not an auntie, but I hope to be one day, just as much as I look forward to being a mother one day. At least you have the love of your nephews to hold you over until you become a mother yourself...and I have no doubt that you will be one and a great one at that!

Feel better!

Stef said...

Oh, and I'll be back with Annamaria's taser to tase Dmoe's ass!

Jay said...

Brooke, your blog touched me. As an uncle, I know the love you're speaking of, and it's very special. I hope to be a father one day myself, but the love I get from my nephews and nieces fills that paternal void. I know exactly what you're talking about, and I have no doubt that you'll make a great mother one day simply by the way you speak about your nephews.

Now all we need to do is get to work on making our own babies ;)

Seriously babe, feel better. Great blog.

DMoe said...

B -

Excellent blog. Your words sparked my thoughts on my Auntie and what she means to me.

My mother has one sister who was my "ONLY AUNTIE" and I am her "ONLY NEFF" as we joke to this day about.

As a result, we were/are very close and have a unique relationship within our family. She was the fun chick that had me on her hip as a baby, took me everywhere when I was coming up, and taught me many lessons along the way. I mean, this is the chick who taught me to love Anita Baker, to watch David Letterman, and how to do the "Bus Stop" (N.O's version of the electric slide)

Reading your thoughts on this made me appreciate my only auntie just that much more, and unconditional love such as the kind you expressed is a joy to behold and a blessing to receive.

DMoe

Brooke said...

Sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm not Kyce and Ibrahim's "only" Auntie :) They have six other ones, and I feel so grateful to be able to get in my car and see them in 2 hours whenever I feel like it. Their other aunts live abroad, and only get to see them once a year...if that.

Kyce had a bday party at a place called "Jumpers" on Monday and there was a HUGE inflatable slide that he was terrified to go on. Nicole tried to encourage him to try it, but he was too afraid. All of his friends were getting on the big slide but him. So he comes over to me, tells me that he's afraid and that he won't get on it.

I told him that there was no one braver than him, no one more fearless and that he could do anything. I told him I'd be at the bottom waiting for him and that I'd give him a high five as he slid into my arms. That was enough for him.

Before I could even get over to the slide, he was climbing up the moon bounce ladder, barely looking back. Once he got to the top, he looked for me, I gave him a thumb's up, and he slid down right into my arms. He yelled "I did it Auntie, I did it!" and ran back to get on again and again. My sister was like "how did you get him to do that?" I told her I just gave him a little pep talk..and that was it. But it was our special bond that did it. It made me feel so proud and special that I was able to help him conquer his fears.

I hope to be able to do that for his entire life. It really didn't get any better than that. It may sound like something so simple, but for me, it meant the world.

Stephanie said...

From one Auntie to another,
Brooke I hope you feel better soon. Your blog is so wonderful. Your sister and her family sound amazing.Not every woman is born with natural maternal instincts.You obviously have those instincts. You love them unconditionally and they love you the same way in return.For the record you may not be the kids mother but their blood runs through your veins. They are your sisters children and that makes you all family. Biology has nothing to do with unconditional love. Good work Auntie

Jaz said...

I agree with Stephanie, the same blood runs through their veins, and that makes them just as much a part of you as your own kids would be. I got a little misty eyed reading this, because not everyone has that bond with their neices and nephews. I have a few that I'm close to, but some that I'm not. People take that bond for granted, because they think just because you're family, you should automatically be close. That's not always the case. It's wonderful that you have that bond, and RECOGNIZE it and cherish it.

They are very lucky to have an auntie like you! Get well soon!

Annamaria said...

Well "Auntie Brooke" Sophia is excited & can't wait to see you on Friday!!! :)
I've seen you with her & Little Leah & you are a NATURAL... Kids seem naturally comfortable with you. There is just something about Brooke!!! lol Raising a kid is a GROUP effort & Aunties are just as important as Mommy's trust me I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have my sister in laws..

And truth be told I felt like a mommy from when Austin & I started dating because of the kids. I didn't birth them but they are my babies...And they've taught me probably just as much as I've taught them..
Beautiful blog

Brooke said...

Thank you Annamaria, and thank you all for the get well wishes!

I went back and posted a pic of me and my nephews - should have added that in the beginning...it's one of my favorite photos of us :) I miss them already!

Jaz said...

Brooke, that is an adorable pic. You and your nephews look so happy! You can really tell how much they love you! Beautiful.

Jay said...

What a cute face...and your nephews are adorable too! :)

You can definitely see/feel the love in that pic, truly.

Serena W. said...

This was an incredible read and tugged at my heart. I walked down the street today after a meeting and a class of 3-4 year olds walked passed me. Some waved, laughed, giggled, one yelled "but I wanna hold his hand" to his teacher.

Instantly I teared up and sighed as I so want kids. But I'm waiting ever so patiently for God to bless me with my Boaz. No more bufoons for me!

Kids are so pure at that age and when I got a chance to hang with my nephew during my marathon weekend I loved up on him. I didn't care that he elbowed me in the middle of the night or said, "Titi turn the lights out and come back to bed" when I was getting ready to head out to meet my team lol.

The best thing he told me that weekend, "Titi I want to run a marathon just like you...next year!"

Me and the coaches laughed; I told him, "How about a mile." His smile was priceless.

So now I'm going to see him more that I'm back eastside and may bring him up this way for a week this summer. I told him we have another beach date and he was soooooo happy!

Children are priceless and we can learn a lot from them.

Auntie's do rock but I can't wait until the time is right and I can say, "I'm a rocking mama just like mine was."

Brookey you rock as well as all of the other Aunties, Mamas, parents, uncles, etc on this blog.

Cherish every moment with your nephews, before you know it...they grow up so fast and you'll have the sweet memories of when they were young.

Serena W. said...

I was typing as you added a picture. They are super cute!!!! Like Jay and Jaz said you can feel the love through the computer!

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