Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Happy Tuesday mi gente!
I was a bit tired and under the weather yesterday, so I took the day off from blogging. But I'm back! And with another "Dear Brookey" Facebook question. I swear, these are so interesting ;-)
I've been talking to this guy for for about 3 months now. We met online, we talk on the phone everyday and email/IM constantly. We really seem to get along and we always hint at meeting each other. But the thing is he lives in another state where one of us has to get on a plane to see the other one. He keeps saying he'll check flights and that he would love for me to fly in to see him. But I also think he's waiting for me to offer to pay for the plane ticket. I've told him I'm open to it, but the discussion never goes any further. He has never offered to buy a ticket, but I think he should pay for the plane ticket first. Am I wrong?
It was so ironic that I got this email yesterday considering I was just having this conversation the night before with a friend. Long distance relationships can be tricky, especially when a flight is involved in order for one person to see the other - it's not like driving from Philly to New York.
But my issue with this scenario isn't necessarily the money though, it's with who should do the traveling. Call me a traditionalist, but I believe he should travel to see her first...no matter who pays for the ticket. I'm not saying women can't be dangerous, but something about a woman traveling alone on the first meeting to another state to see a guy she's only known for 3 months troubles me a bit. Maybe she can pay for him to come see her...and spend time in the comfort of her own home (assuming she lives alone), where people know to look for her in case she turns up missing.
She could get to his place, he turn out to be nuts, and/or he kicks her out...and then what? Not saying the same can't happen to him if he comes to see her, but I think a man is better suited to handle himself in that situation. I know she could have Pookie annem hiding in the closet waiting to rob him, but chances are she doesn't. Maybe I'm wrong, but I just think it's dangerous for her to make the first trip...regardless who pays.
But to answer her question - since she doesn't see any problem with going to visit him, then I don't see any reason why she can't pay for it. My guess is that if she pays her way out there to wherever he is, he will be planning and paying for what they do when she gets there. At least that would be fair anyway. If he's hosting her, then they can agree that he'll pay for the activities while she's there and they'll probably break even. After all, it IS a recession.
If this turns out to be a full-fledged, long distance relationship, it would be ridiculous to think that one person would finance the whole thing. Next time, he can pay to come see her...and she can plan the activities. Go dutch when you go out, or split the cost of the plane ticket. There has to be a lot of compromise and sharing when it comes to long distance boo's. Unless one of you is independently wealthy, no one person should be bankrolling an entire relationship - and a discussion about who pay for what, and what is realistic, needs to be had.
If she's just looking to travel to get her a lil sumptin sumptin, then she DEFINITELY should pay for the ticket. She's probably just worried about shelling out some dough and the sex is wack...which is understandable. But hey, it's a chance you take when you meet someone...no matter when or where. Personally, I think d*ck should be free...but that's just me. But if you want it, go on and git you some..and put it on your Visa. If it's wack, then at least you know there's no reason to go back...and you'll look for local peen next time. Jus sayin :-)