Friday, March 12, 2010
Instead of my Friday Sexy Survey, I'd like to talk about the question of the day that was asked on the radio this morning. This question was addressed to women - Would you rather have great sex in a bad marriage, or terrible sex in a great marriage?
Now, I thought all the women would call in and say they would rather have the bad sex in a great marriage, but to my surprise, that wasn't the case at all. The majority of women who called in said they'd rather have the great sex...which totally baffled me.
Now don't get me wrong, I love sex as much as the next person...especially great sex. But who would want to have a bad marriage just cuz the d*ck is good? I mean, let's really think about that.
The women who called in were supposedly "keeping it all the way real." "I need that release!" "I can't be with no man that's wack in bed!" Blah blah blah.
But if these women were being really honest, they would have realized that most women tie sex and emotions together...so if you're unhappy in a marriage, chances are you don't wanna have sex with the person who's making you unhappy anyway. Kinda defeats the purpose, right?
I don't think these women who answered that they'd rather have great sex thought through all the scenarios that could make a marriage a bad one. I'm sure Ike and Tina had great sex too...until he started beating her ass. Chris Brown and Rihanna probably got it in too...til he bit her and put her in a headlock.
I'm not making light, I'm trying to show how BAD a marriage/relationship can be, and how no amount of good d*ck can make it better. If I associate a man's touch with pain because he physically abuses me, then how can I allow myself to be intimate with him? You give me a black eye one minute, then want to have sex the next? I think NOT.
And it doesn't have to be physical abuse - mental/emotional abuse can be just has hurtful. And if someone is constantly belittling you, breaking you down, and wearing at your self esteem, then chances are you're not going to want or enjoy sex with that person. How can you? I mean...is it just me?
I understand that some feel a marriage can't be great unless there's great sex in it. I get that. But if we're dealing in absolutes here, where the sex can never get better and you're stuck with it, that would presuppose that divorce isn't an option. So by that logic, who would want to be stuck in a bad marriage for the rest of their lives? If you live to be a 100, the sex will probably have stopped in the marriage a LONG time ago, and you'll be an old woman in a non-fulling marriage...who isn't even having great sex anymore. Now what?!
I'd rather buy a battery operated replacement and release on my own - and also have a great guy to share my life with. Great sex doesn't make for a great husband or father. Great sex doesn't have your back, take care of you when you're sick, tells you he loves you or provides a good home for your children and grandchildren to grow up in. And there's not enough good d*ck in the world that is worth my happiness and peace of mind.
But hey, that's just me...anyone else feel differently? Holla at me!