Monday, November 2, 2009

Happy Monday!

I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend!

So I'm trying to think of something to write about this morning, and our blog family member Monica says, "You know what I was thinking about this morning? Usher and his new single. I really listened to it for the first time this morning, and maybe it's just me, but I think the fact that he is putting his whole relationship on blast like that is F'd up."

Ahhhh...good topic.

I actually had a brief discussion about "Papers" last week with another friend who said that Tameka Foster, Usher's wife...or ex-wife...or whatever..."must've done something really wrong if Usher is writing a song like that about her."

In case you haven't heard it or don't know all the lyrics, here it is:



Now, I've never been married, let alone divorced - so I can't speak on the intricacies of marriage and all that goes down within the confines of holy matrimony. I remember when Usher and Tameka were out and about as a couple, people were shocked. He was a Porshe, and she was an old, beat up pick-up truck - or so THEY said. What was he doing with her? He could have anyone he wanted, and he chose her?

Then she turned up pregnant, there was some talk that his mother didn't approve of her, didn't attend the big wedding they were supposed to have - that then got called off - and then back on again...only to get married in his attorney's office. Two years and two sons later, he's ready to sign them papers.

None of us knows what either of them did right or wrong. None of us were privy to the inner workings of their relationship. None of us knows why the marriage fell apart. And isn't that the way it should be?

I know, I know...we all know what singers and song writers do - they write a song about it. Wanna hear it? Here it go! Now we're all looking at her like some sort of monster who made him damn near lose his mama. Damn you Tameka Foster!!!

But is that fair? Great love and great success require taking great risks. We all do it everyday. There are no guarantees to love, and no one can MAKE anyone fall in love with us. We fall in love willingly. Yes, there is a such thing as fraud in a relationship. People can pretend to be one thing (heterosexual) and be something else (ie: Terry McMillan's gay husband...even though I don't see how she missed that one...I digress...)

But most times, maybe we just fall in love with the wrong person. Or maybe we grow apart. Maybe circumstances beyond our control makes one of us change, while the other person remains the same. Maybe we rush into marriage, only to end up divorced a year or two later. Maybe we get married for the wrong reasons. Maybe we allow people to pressure us into it, or maybe we do it to spite someone else - even though we may know better. The "maybe's" are endless.

No one ever wants to be "wrong" when it comes to who we choose to love. Sometimes admitting that we made a mistake is so hard that we stay in relationships way longer than we need to...just so we don't look like failures. No one wants to think that we chose to love the wrong person - or that we loved too hard and too soon.

But it's a risk you take - you win some and you lose some. And sometimes it's no one's fault - it just wasn't meant to be. So to throw someone under the bus, especially when that someone is the mother of your two sons, is a bit much. Yes, she may have hurt him. Maybe she wasn't the person he thought she was. But that's a learning moment - a private one. Your sons will hear that song one day, and they may not appreciate that you chose to put their mother out there like that. Not everything has to be shared, and without hearing both sides of the story, it's kind of cruel. We ALL don't need to know that you fight at 6 in the morning.

While some would thrive on the "I told you so's" about Usher and Tameka Foster, it's really no one's business. And for him to say that he almost lost his mama over her...well, that's just stupid. Usher chose to love Tameka Foster. Usher chose to ignore the warnings his mother may have given him. Usher chose to fire his mother as his manager for whatever reason. Usher chose to marry this woman and have children with her. These were all HIS decisions...and no one was holding a gun to his head. If he almost lost his mother, it was his OWN doing, not hers. He should take responsibility for that - not blame it on her completely.

I'm sure as an artist, when you're going through something, your natural creative instinct is to write or sing about it. I get that. But you have to be careful when you have children to think about. Sing about moving on, sing about healing your heart, sing about continuing to be a great father - and leave the fighting and "girl you done almost made me lose my mama" stuff to yourself. Put it in a diary.

-b

46 comments:

The Cable Guy said...

First Bitches!!!

momo925 said...

DAMN IT CABLE GUY!!!

The Cable Guy said...

I've been waiting to do that forever!!! Now I'll go read :)

annamaria said...

I'll let Sophia shank the cable guy!!!
Brooke I agree with you 100% no one MADE him do anything. He's a grown ass man that made his decisions. Maybe he didn't want to listen to any warnings that were given to him but that's HIS fault not hers. I could definitely not marry anyone that my family didn't like or who didn't like my family. They are way too important to me. So whatever happened I'm sure its a lil of both of their faults!!!!

P.S.- Brooke I can almost taste my cheesecake

Rameer said...

I'm gonna disagree with the stance he shouldn't put it in a song. Cuz, if we're being real, MOST heartfelt songs from a variety of singers has a backstory. Example - how many people realize that "Put A Ring On It" is actually ABOUT someone?? I would venture not many. How mnay people know that Fergie and Nelly Furtado basically waged a war of words throughout various songs, throwing ill sublimes at each other? Again, not many. You can go down the list - Prince, Phil Collins, The Beatles, Michael Jackson, The Rolling Stones, David Bowie, etc. - they all are inspired to write about things or have their writers make songs about their experiences.

The most common experiences are love and heartbreak. So if I'm going to hear this song and be mad, then I guess I should be mad at Marvin Gaye and Carly Simon, too. I guess the fact that Justin Timberlake made "What Comes Around" about Britney Spears eons after they broke up should piss me off too. And let's not even start on Janet and Rene.

Chris Brown and Rihanna are currently crafting songs with each other in mind. Jessica Simpson wrote about Nick Lachey. Whitney has songs on her new project with Bobby in mind. That's what artists DO. Just cuz we may not know what the object of every song is or may not pick up on some of the more subtle inferences, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. It's been happening since the first human decided to use their voice along with an instrument to make pleasing sounds.

Pink has about four albums worth of personal stuff. Should we be mad at her too?

I say let Usher do whatever he likes. He's making songs based on his life - if I remember correctly, last time he did that we got the Confessions album, which was great. He's not the one going on radio and blog tours talking about the relationship incessantly - like his linebacker ex-wife is (c'mon, y'all know she-a look-a like-a man!). The same argument that the sons can hear the song...they can also youtube the interviews and read them online from Pop Duke/Tameka.

I've got no problem with artists putting their lives into song. It's what they've always done.

Anonymous said...

Phuck...I should have bet Brooke too!! There is still one game to go...(please reference my diatribe posted last Thursday!!) What a Phantastic weekend!

A little off the topic but I have to share!! First and foremost, I am a happily married man(BLAH BLAH BLAH), but today this little philly that I work with comes up to me out of the blue and is acting all friendly with your boy. God's to honest truth the woman is fine and my wife has even said so. I mean she looks like a younger Sally Richardson. She usually pays me no mind, but today she is giggling in my face, hugging up on me and all that. Granted I dropped about 15 pounds, just got a fresh lineup and I am wearing my Ralph Lauren black suit and gray silk tie(LOOKING SCANDOLOUS!!) In my mind I am like what the hell is going on...then she tells me in a matter of fact kind of way that she and her boyfriend of six years have broken up....(ok) Later she comes in my office and asks me if I wanna grab drinks later. Wow!!! My ego is like on 100,000 trillion right now! I share this story because I started thinking about how much I phreaking love my wife and how I would never let a piece of phine grade A arse (allegedly) sabotage what me and my wife have!! I still might be in the newlywed phase but I actually found someone that I can call my soulmate!! I will say the devil is something else when it comes to temptation though!

I am also lucky because I can say that the Phillies are phinished, left for dead and phorgotten! I still think it is going six...but hey you never know tonight just maybe the night for a Broadstreet parade Yankee style! Oh and I declined the drinks; me and the Mrs. got our birthing class tonight nothing in the world is more important than that!

Floyd

Yolanda said...

Didn't Brian Michael Cox write that song? In other words... Mario or Trey Songz or somebody could be singing it. This is Usher's typical "I got an album coming out" scheme.

He's so 2000-and late.

I find Mothers are usually right anyway... he shoulda listened to his Mama!

Rameer said...

He probably DID have a writer, Yolanda - but you know how it goes. The artist sits down with the writer, tells the writer what they want to talk about on the song, the history they want to reference, etc. Mary J. Blige's entire second album was this way. That's why writer's are so important - tell me what's on your mind, and I got a hit song for you...

Yolanda said...

I coulda sworn I read somewhere that the song was written months before Usher's "troubles"... but who knows.

Shoulda stayed with Chilli.

Rameer said...

Yeah - I STILL can't wrap my head around how he broke up with her! Not just cuz she's *beautiful* - but cuz the relationship was seemingly perfect, and she was a really good woman! He just up and up cheated on her.

I don't think I'd ever give up happiness with someone for ass on the road. But then again, I'm not Usher...

And yeah, I wasn't gonna bring that up, cuz *some* people (not the normal heads) on here get annoyed when you know a little info - but I was under the impression the song was written before Usher's troubles as well. In fact, Tameka said as much in an interview on NYC radio a few weeks ago.

Annamaria said...

Charging my taser to lend to Floyd's wife so she can tase the shit out of the hooch in his job...

Anywho if you can't write about what's going on in your life what are you going to write about...After all isn't that what we do every day on this blog???????

GOOOOOO YANKS!!! :)

Rameer said...

Amen 2 Annamaria on all points!

Brooke said...

I didn't say don't write about love or heartbreak...and I realize all love or heartbreak songs are written about SOMEONE. I just think like Yolanda said that this is a stunt used to justify his divorce after everyone was telling him not to get married in the first place. He's not saying "I made a decision and it didn't work out" or "I married the wrong person" or "I fell out of love."

He's saying "I married you despite what the world and my mama thought and now I'm letting everyone know I'm getting divorced cuz it's YOUR fault." THAT is the issue I have with the song. We all can make a mistake and marry the wrong person and later figure out that we made the wrong choice - but it was HIS choice to make, so it can't all be HER fault.

Annamaria said...

OH I DEFINITELY AGREE WITH THAT... IT ISN'T ALL HER FAULT...He shouldn't have married her after his mama didn't approve of her.. SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T LISTEN TO MAMA!!!!!!!!!! lol.....

Malek said...

First I must say thank you for ALL your support in Kyce's Yankee Candle sale and for making me the best outgoing PTA president since now they are getting their updated playground....plus Kyce spanked that ass in sales....ALL THANKS TO BROOKE AND HER PEEPS!!!!! LOVE YAL!!!!!!

Now I like when people sing about their personal issues I think it makes for better music but I do think he should be careful in what he says as he does have kids to consider. Maybe write the song but don't put it out til later. But when is her turn to dispute it....plus Usher ain't stupid he knows a song like that will put him back on the map with the ladies cause people were so mad he got with a dark skin chick....I thought she looked alright. that is another blog topic for another day......but the ladies out there love to hate on other women...look at the Chris Brown/ Rihanna situation. So on a marketing level Usher ain't no dummy.

Rameer said...

1. AMEN to Malek pointing out women love to hate on other women. That is the absolute TRUTH...not all women, but I know many of all backgrounds that do this incessantly. Many times, doing it subconsciously, too - meaning they don't even realize they hate so badly on other women, celeb or otherwise.

2. @ Malek - her turn to dispute it is on these non-stop interviews she's been doing. Look her up - she's made the rounds from NYC to L.A. As far as I know, Usher has said very little publicly about it other than some released statements...she's done so many interviews, the subject is getting old.

3. Agreed - it's NOT all her fault. But she's not the singer between the two of them - he is.

4. Also agreed - he SHOULD'VE listened to his mother. Mother is always right (well, good ones, which she is).

5. I don't agree with the "mad he got with a dark-skinned chick" logic. I certainly know no men who have that issue (they comment on her manliness, not skin tone) and only a small niche of women who have that issue. I think more people were concerned with her being older with kids from a previous relationship...and being his stylist.

My 75 cents...as usual.

momo925 said...

Referencing personal experience when writing a song is the norm. I agree everyone does it, especially in music. However, blasting specific details to me is just unnecessary. I think what bothers me is that fact that he's doing it for record sales. He did it with confessions and now he's doing it again with the mother of his kids. Some things (like a divorce) should be kept between the people who are in it. If she is out sounding off on any radio station that will listen, then I think she is equally wrong. If you choose to marry someone, it is safe to say at one point you loved and respected them. Just because it didn't work out and you are getting divorced, doesn't mean that whatever was between you should turn into gossip that you spew out to the masses for a profit. Thats just my opinion.

Brooke said...

yay! Kyce will probably win again - I hope! Thank you to Serena, DMoe, and my co-workers, ESPECIALLY Monica! Her whole family bought MAD STUFF! Thanks Mo!

Now, as for how she looked and all that jazz, I don't care who anyone marries or what they look like - so long as they're happy. When all that was going down with Usher, I actually thought that it was great that he wasn't folding to the pressure of being with someone younger, or who looked a certain way, etc. I thought he was following his heart - and ever interview he did standing up for the decison he made was great. In the Essence article, she said she was his wife and he was standing up for her and the love he had for her. So when I heard they were getting divorced, I was sad for them - not like "good!" or "See, I knew it wouldn't last" like some other people were saying.

And then when I heard this song, I was like "wow...did he really have to go there?" I understand writing about pain, but his message had a tint of blame in it where he almost felt duped into love and marriage...and I just don't believe that. He's known this woman forever, according to him, so instead of saying it just didn't work out, he's gotta bring his mama into it? It didn't work out, and as a man, he should own up to his part in that. Nobody made him fire his mama or become estranged from her. I'm not saying he should have listened to his mom, cuz truth be told, not all parents are right when it comes to who their child should be with. But Usher is responsible for his relationship with his mother, as well as the decisions he makes - no one else. Usher is grown, he's not a child who had the wool pulled over his eyes. He needs to own that.

The Cable Guy said...

I agree, no one made him marry that woman or have kids so quickly with her. I will say I was shocked when I saw her, cuz like Rameer said - she was older with like 3 kids already. But you can't help who you love sometimes, so saying its fault and now he wants to sign them papers cuz he can't take it anymore is a cop out. I think B is speaking more to what the song says, not that he wrote about his personal experiences. All artists do that, but they do it in a way where you just know they got their heart broken - not that you actually know the details and who it was. I think good music leaves it open to the interpretation of who's hearing it, not just blastin off cuz you mad you made a mistake.

I'm divorced, and no matter what I think my ex did to me or why the relationship failed, I take the blame for half of it automatically, simply cuz I chose to be with her. No one made me, I made that decision, so did Usher.

Rameer said...

I don't disagree with him needing to own his part in the situation. I'm just saying - he's a singer. He pretty much is going to put it in his music. And everyone saying it's not cool better not have anything but hardcore Rock and Rap in their playlists - otherwise, they're being hypocritical.

I think people are making a deal about this cuz they know who the words are directed at - but y'all could care less about Ne-Yo singing about his ex in "Do You" cuz *no one knows who that is*. But he's still putting their business on blast - by his own admission. Same thing with any singer. And for all the Jay-Z lovers - let's not even get started on the relationships he referenced in his past songs...but it's somehow cooler for rappers to talk specifics than singers.

I agree to a large extent with him needing to man up, Brooke-Ra. I'm just saying, what do you people expect - singers have put these things in song since literally the dawn of man. Because y'all know the person he's talking about, he shouldn't do it? He did it with Confessions, so that's wrong? Yeah right - well, then every all-time great singer we like is wrong as hell, cuz they've all gotten rich off of talking about their lives in song.

Brooke said...

Well, with Confessions, everyone assumed he was talking about Chili, yet in every interview I've read, he said it wasn't about her and that they were very much together when he was in the studio recording that cd. She has even said the songs were written long before they broke up, so who knows.

I'm not saying don't write about personal experiences...but I think this is more of a stunt, not him pouring his heart out. But hey, I could be wrong...

If it IS a stunt, I think it's sad - only because he has kids. Maybe I guess I just wouldn't want them to hear of something later that was directly about their mother, I dunno....

Malek said...

Oh, and Cable Guy - your application is denied because you missed the deadline. Your follow-thru sucks!

sent via cell phone while I'm picking up my babies - I hope this goes thru! LOL!

Next time, don't be tardy to the party (my new saying for the kiddies) LOL!!

Oh, and Rameer, I didn't see or hear anything from either Usher or Tameka. I guess because I miss out on alot between Thomas the Train and Sponge Bob :) I'll look it up!

And Annamaria...I guess everyone should listen to their mama's now that you ARE one huh? LOL!!

The Cable Guy said...

Aw damn! My application was denied?! I tried to drop it off to Brookey but she wasn't home!

Give me another chance! LOL!

I thought Usher's wife was speaking out BECAUSE of the song. maybe she's doing damage control.

Rameer said...

But that's my point - she's been doing interviews on this for months. Won't they hear/read the same things from their mother's mouth that's out there? Which is way more in terms of volume than just this song?

If her mouth was closed, I could see it. But this isn't Jon Gosselin talking every other day while Kate finally shuts up - they're BOTH doing things the kids can read/hear later. I'm not gonna vilify him any more than her.

And that not talking about Chilli stuff is crap - we all know it. I'm sure most of the album wasn't about her, but there were some very specific things that happened in that relationship that were on some of those songs. That's why, even though this song is SAID to be old, I'm not gonna 100% ride with that...cuz I know it's very easy to go to the studio and make revisions.

And I don't if it's a stunt. Talking about your life in song is standard practice...MJB gained megastar status off her second album talking directly about K-Ci. But hey - like you said, who knows. It COULD be. I wouldn't put it past any entertainer.

Rameer said...

Captain Cable - I was under the impression she had done a few interviews before the song. I could be wrong...I really don't actively follow this Wendy Williams-type stuff, but I hear it all the time from people I'm around and deal with.

Brooke said...

The only thing I read was that she was under the impression that everything was fine and that she was shocked to learn he had filed for divorce. She even said they had been intimate in the same week he filed, and that the divorce papers threw her off completely.

But who knows what's true and what isn't. It's sad either way. But if it's not meant to be, they should both just move on instead of all ths he-said, she-said. I don't really follow it that much either, but if she IS talking too much, even if it's just to save face or her reputation or whatever, she should stop - cuz that would make it worse.

momo925 said...

the point is it was tacky when he did it then and its still tacky now. Ne-yo can write all the songs in the world but it does make a difference when you don't know who the hell he's talking about. Even in interviews when he talks about those same songs he doesn't blast the person that the song is about. The song is always about a "certain someone". If his ex-wife is out there talking about their issues/divorce, then she is the fool. Let her be the fool. He doesn't have to be like her.

I agree with cable guy. lol

Oh and your welcome brooke and nicole! Anything for the kids ;-)

annamaria said...

Nicole YES everyone should listen to their mamas... Lol
And is lil Miss Sophia doesn't listen to me I'm going to punch her in her throat!

Rameer said...

@ Momo - did you have the same problem with Mary J. Blige's second album, which was COMPLETELY about K-Ci Hailey - and was KNOWN to be the case??

I'm just sayin'. By your logic, because we knew who she was talking about, she's in the same category as Usher - and I've NEVER heard anyone criticize Mary for putting her and K-Ci's relationship on blast in the form of *an entire album*.

I'm with Brooke-Ra - I tend to think I don't (and won't) know what's completely true and what isn't in this case...

Anonymous said...

Damn I agree Momo925. The shit is tacky...keep YOUR business off the street. Let's respect the sanctity of marriage and the relationship. In my opinion this isn't any different than what Jon and Kate are doing in the media (more so Jon now). Airing dirty laundry in public is disgusting! (Literally and figuratively). The song in my opinion is an attempt to vilify his ex-wife. Be a man dude! Get the divorce and make some good dance music! Even R. Kelly don’t sing about that shit! My opinion STF up, and handle your business!! This is some bitchassedness right there man!

DAMN Annamaria are you my mother? My moms use to tell my sister she would kick her in her throat! LMAO!! I thought I had it bad when me and my pops shot a fair one in the backyard! He won and I have been listening ever since!

DMoe said...

Please allow me to play "DMoevil's Advocate"...lol.

Let's say Usher WAS told a few of the following statements by the young lady in question:

"Man, your momma is crazy, fire her!"

"If I'm gonna be your wife, the bible says put me first...Screw moms!"

And one more...

"You better marry me or else..."

We just don't know what the chick was like. Now, mind you - these are all proverbial hypotheticals...But the point is, Usher's a regular dude. He writes songs based on life experiences and no, he shouldn't have named names or named "blame" on the chick that can't record a diss record in response.

Besides, everybody on this blog be bumpin' Pretty Wings and thats about the same thing (pretty much). However, its kinda clever, well sung, and its Maxwell.

While I agree you dont put business out in the street based on the children, there are 3 sides to every story. His, Hers and moms!

LOL. Sorry, I couldnt resist.

DMoe aka The Good Son

Anonymous said...

Rameer: #1 Mary was so f'n high when she made that album #2 they didnt have any kids neither!

Please remember this, they had to convince Mary to make that album she wasn't going to put that out there! We were all going to get another whats the 411 type of album...but she was so messed up emotionally and so drugged up that people encouraged her to put that album out! That album was such a classic cause you felt her pain and you couldn't help but feel for a woman that was ABUSED, drugged up etc etc.!! Again no kids involved in that situation. Personally I think its a game changer when there are children involved. Next, the song is conveniently released soon after we learn that he and shorty are getting a divorced! (C'mon Son!!) He and 50 have the same formula when it comes to album promotions! 50 focuses on beef whereas Usher focuses on how well or how poor his personal relationships are going. Worked on 8201 maybe we can catch lightning in the bottle twice!! The shit is weak, tired and contrived!! He made his bed now lay in it....shorty didnt become this person overnight did she? Sounds like a bunch of whining to me!

Rameer said...

I'm not saying I agree or co-sign Usher's strategy in the least. But I'm just not going to be hypocritical and get mad at this when there are a gazillion artists who do this and none of y'all get mad or upset about it. Mariah Carey was so bold in putting her business in song that she caused Eminem to make a dis track about her! And regardless of reasoning, MJB's most critically claimed and beloved album is the one where she put her business out there. And yes - she recorded the songs and made the decision to release the album.

Let's not start throwin' Usher under the bus for what artists DO. Like I said - people are crying over this cuz they know who the object of the song is. Any of you have any issues with Madonna, Janet, Cher, Timberfake or Phil Collins for doing the same thing? Eminem? George Michael? Tina Turner? Hmmm?

I'm just conscious to not be hypocritical when I see a situation that people are doing so. And this is just hypocrisy to me. I tend to agree with Brooke-Ra, as I've stated, but people saying "how dare he talk about his relationship on a song" are just hypocritical to me - cuz if I came over and looked at your album collection, I'd reel off the artists you own who have done the same thing liberally - and sometimes with people who you know.

And speaking of Mary - she didn't just do that on ONE album.

Brooke said...

Let's say she DID say all those things to him DMoe..."regular dudes" can't stand up for himself?

If a woman gives you all these directives and ultimatums, she's not the woman for you. And if you deem that she is, then own the choices you've made. She didn't MAKE him do "squadoosh!" (as Rameer would say) - he did it as a grown ass "regular" dude.

Anonymous said...

I love the song and think it is catchy. I never assumed it was 100% true. Music is art and Usher is using his art to express his emotions. Its just a song.

Also, I think on the song he says..."I done been through so much drama. I done damn near lost my momma." He didn't blame her for those things. He just stated the consequences of his choices.

Stef said...

Maxwell wrote that song so that we all could relate to it, not one where he's ranting.

It's one thing to write a song about failed love and whatever, and another to be like "you almost made me lose my mom"...huh???

You can write about these things, even if we know who it's about, without soundin off. There's a difference.

Yolanda said...

The problem is Usher uses his relationships as a crutch to sell his records. We know Jay-Z, Ne-Yo and Maxwell have rapped/sang about hurtful moments and bad relationships but we don't always know WHO those women (or men...I don't judge) were because they don't live every moment of their personal lives in the press to sell records. You don't see them on the cover of Essence parading their brides and new babies around.

Anonymous said...

Rameer,

Just to touch on that MJB point Again she was HIGH!!!! I would put out remixes to the Star Spangled banner if I was on the drugs that she was on! I will not say it was a choice as much as it was to not giving an F to what was being put out there! TO YOUR POINT that she didnt do one album like this!...you 100% right...What she did was find a formula and when she cleaned up she thrived and made a career off of her drama and pain that she experienced from Case K-CI etc!! We all know Mary as the girl you can identify with..feel her pain etc. The shit is all calculated her mangagement team and inside people know that is what the public thinks of her and they market her to that effect. Let's keep it 100, what Mary do YOU wanna here...when she happy and dancing around or when she going through some shiznit in her life!! That is all I am saying with that! Hey it is what it is....I am just trying to make my shit work with the ole battle axe and at the end of the day...it makes good blog talk and the reality is I couldn't give a rats ass about Ursher and his seamonkey ex wife. Lead LIFE with integrity!

DMoe said...

A regular dude standing up for himself isn't the issue, cuz he probably did. Yet, we're debating syntax. The bottom line is she could just be bad news.

Things leave scars and singers get scarred. I'm not saying its right, im just sayin...

Moreover, my point was - we just dont know the whole story. His, hers, or *the truth*.

Before I clown him for going public, I'll reserve any judgment. Simply because she could have "actually" made life some sort of hell he felt compelled to express himself in song about.

Did he choose her? Yes, but there's also the "variable" of bait and switch, and that happens...

DMoe

Rameer said...

Yolanda - I named a number of artists who we DO know very well who they were talking about and referring to. So THAT point is kind of moot - we both know most people on here don't have an issue with MJB for doing the same thing.

anonymous - you are absolutely correct in MJB's people marketing and selling her that way to great success. You are also correct that I and most people prefer MJB with pain rather than happy - this can't be denied.

But you're proving my point. This is what HAPPENS in music sometimes. It's said that the best music ever created comes from an artist pouring their pain out on wax, or if they're on drugs. True story.

I'm just saying that many people - including ones on here - getting all high and mighty off of Usher will be the first to pull out albums by the artists I've already named and many others who have done similar things or worse. And while I'm not co-signing Usher, I know not to criticize him for doing this to sell albums/stunt/paint himself a certain way when I have a gazillion albums that are the same way.

And I'll be damned if I'mma stop playin' MJB or get mad at her cuz she's talking about K-Ci on her earlier albums.

Brooke said...

She could be all the bad news in the world...still don't make you 'lose your mama' LOL!!

I conceded that we don't know the whole story...I think that was the basis of my argument...which also included that we SHOULDN'T know. That is for THEM to know. You can write about heartbreak, love and sadness without it being about HER - HER right THERE...TAMEKA! LOL!!

Stef said...

I think we can all agree that artists do this, but not all the same way. Yes, we know that MJB was talking about K-Ci, but she wasn't like "K-Ci, you choked me out every morning at 10, and then you made me lose my friends, etc."

She just put her pain out there and left it for us to decipher. I think that's what separates the better song writers and artists from others.

Anonymous said...

Stef...I think you hit the nail on the head...the song is garbage...there are creative ways to bash your ex-spouse and this song doesn't embody that!! I think if the song were a good one maybe we wouldn't be having this talk! His ex wife was a looker too!! Ruff!!

Rameer said...

I don't remember Usher naming any names in his new song at all. So what's the difference?

"This may be a fantasy
That I dream of baby
Time and time again
I knew that we would be
More than friends
I gave you my heart
And all of my time
But now you're acting shady
Is it all in my mind?"

Mary J. Blige "Don't Go"

Uh-huh.

Listen, if y'all just wanna be mad at Usher, then cool - I can feel that you don't like his song and/or him. But let's be real here. Stop acting like this song is anything different than what we've heard before.

It *pales* in comparison to a song like "Poppa Was A Rollin' Stone". Which one of y'all is gonna lie and say y'all can't stand The Temptations for putting their business out there about one of the members fathers??

Stef said...

Usher doesn't HAVE to name names - he's been married once...to HER, so who else would he be talking about?

Rameer, no one is saying that Usher shouldn't have written the song. This is all about HOW it was written. Like it was said, I good song writer could have written it in a way where its universal, not just about HER.

Jaz said...

I agree, I feel like MJB's song was more vague than Usher's. And he's timing the release of the song with his divorce so he can get more publicity from it.

If you ask me, this song isn't about pain - it's about damage control. Usher went to great pains to defend his choice and be all like "this is my woman, I love her, I'll stand by her, etc." Now he's getting a divorce and knows everyone will be like "I told you!" so now he's gonna strike first before her to make her be the bad guy and he's the victim.

It's one thing when it's just you and someone else - but he has kids. He should've thought of them first, and then written the song. It may have sounded different - and alot better.

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