Monday, November 16, 2009
Hola mi gente!
I'm so tired today I can barely keep my eyes open. That's what I get for waiting til 11:45pm to drive back to NY. Yes, I was buggin last night. But I had a great weekend with my family celebrating my mom's birthday, which is actually TODAY. Happy Birthday Mommy!
Now, on to today's topic.
I'm not sure how many of you are familiar with the tv show Tough Love on VH1. I got hooked on it during its first season, and now they're back with Season 2. While I missed the premiere last night (watching football), I will DEFINITELY catch it on one of its many repeats. If you're not familiar with the show, here is a trailer to give you an idea of this guy's style of "tough love."
The reason I like this guy so much is because he tells it straight like it is. While most of his advice is like "duh...we all know that" - it's good to hear (again) every once in a while just how a man's brain works. While these women fall under the extreme cases of those who truly don't have a clue, a lot of his insights are pretty valuable reminders of what NOT to do when dating.
Let's take this dating tip for instance.
Now, I agree that a woman shouldn't have all their kids' names picked out or start ordering wedding invitations after your first date to the movies together; but I do think it's important to state what you want in the early stages of a relationship. First date? Maybe not. But don't wait til after you've been seeing the guy for a year and you still have no idea if marriage is something he sees in his future.
On a first date, just take your time and get to know him. You may decide later that you don't even really LIKE him. Everyone puts their best foot forward when just getting to know someone. Give it a few months for the other person's flaws to rear their ugly head. If these are flaws you can live with, and you still think he's your future baby daddy, then feel him out on the subject of marriage and/or children. If he's feeling you, he won't run from the conversation. But if he stalls, or changes the subject, or suddenly moves to Africa...then you have your answer.
I think one of the many reasons a lot of relationships fail is because the parties involved don't discuss what they want and expect from each other. There's nothing wrong with telling someone that you'd like to get married and have kids one day. I think it's important not to waste anyone's time.
But there's a difference between telling someone what you'd like one day, and ramming it down someone's throat that you want to marry HIM...like...TOMORROW. Ease into it, be patient and simply enjoy each other's company for a while. Your bridesmaids don't have to be picked just yet...it can wait a lil bit :-)