Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Today is my last day in the office this week, woo-hoo! I’m off for 5 days and I will try to soak up every drop of holiday and vacation time. I need it!
So, I was being my normal observant self on the train this morning, as usual. Two girls sitting across from me, probably about 16 or 17 years old, are talking about…what else? Boys.
“I liked him as soon as I saw him, he was so fine!”
“Yeah, he is kinda cute.”
“He always has on some nice sneakers too.”
“Yeah, and jewelry.”
“I love his cornrows, even though they need to be done again.”
“Does he buy you stuff?”
“Yeah girl, he always take me to the movies, and he took me to Red Lobster the other day.”
“He got money like that?”
“Yeah, he works. He bought me a Playstation too.”
Then I had to tune them out. I just didn't want to listen anymore.
Not because they sounded crazy, or young, or immature – but because…well…I’m grown.
At 16 or 17, you’re allowed to sound immature…because most likely you are.
I tried to remember what I liked in a guy when I was 16 years old. When I was 16, my boyfriend at the time was in college - I’m still not sure how I got away with that one. But if a guy seemed “mature” beyond my teenage world, I was hooked. It wasn’t about sneakers or clothes – it was about maturity and intelligence. I thought boys my age were dumb, and older guys were always attracted to me because they thought I was older than I was...simply because I’ve been 5’10 since I was 14. Never mind that I had the face of a 10-year-old, they'd approach me anyway…and I guess I thought that was cool.
Now, in my mid-30’s, not too much has changed. I listen to some single women talk about what they find attractive in a man, and they sound no different than the 16 year-old girls on the train.
They like that men have “toys”…"things.” Cars, motorcycles, big tv’s, Playstations. Yes, they’ll throw the house in there for good measure, but it’s usually superficial things they look for in a man.
For me, maturity and intelligence are still at the top of my list. Sure, I like guys that can joke around and be funny and have a good time; but I also appreciate a man who can get down to business when needed – both professionally and personally. You can’t be a goofball ALL the time. I thought that way at 16, and I still do now.
And spending all your hard earned money on toys and gadgets isn’t what makes me wanna throw my panties at you either. Those things are for YOU to enjoy. Not saying I won't play Playstation with you, but that's yours. I have no problem with that.
Wanna know what I enjoy?
A man who can wear a fly ass watch that peeks out at me from under a nice French cuff. Very unassuming, but shows me you have good taste while not being flashy.
I also enjoy a great tie, or a nice pair of shoes, or a perfectly fitted blazer.
And last but certainly not least…a meticulous haircut.
Don't get me wrong, I notice the same things a 16 year-old would – it’s just that now, it's a fresh edge-up over cornrows, or a square toe Kenneth Cole over Air Jordans…a nice watch over a gold chain. At my age, those things show me that you’ve progressed past do-rags and jerseys - and when you’re 16, there’s nothing wrong with any of that.
But me? Now?
Like I said…I’m grown :-)