Monday, October 26, 2009
Happy Monday everyone!
I had the BEST weekend! Spending time with my family always does my heart good. My nephew Ibrahim turned 3 years old, so Chuck E. Cheese was the hot spot yesterday :-) I wonder how many of you would come celebrate with me if I had a party there? Hmmmm....
I'd also like to take this time to congratulate the NY Yankees on making it to the World Series. I like the Yankees. I really do - BUT they will be playing against my hometown Phillies. I'll just leave it at that...don't start none, won't be none.
Now, today's topic comes via my friend Patrick's Facebook status. It reads: A woman inspires you to great things, and prevents you from achieving them.
Now, you can imagine the firestorm brewing in his comments section. Gross generalities usually generate that type of reaction. The women on the blog - myself included - QUICKLY jumped on this one.
Now, to be fair, I don't think Patrick TRULY believes his own status update. Personal circumstances make all of these types of statements relative. Patrick relayed a personal experience where a woman did something to him to keep him from achieving a certain goal. But VINDICTIVE women are one thing, a GREAT woman is another. His status SHOULD HAVE READ:
A woman can inspire you to do great things, but a GREAT woman will help you achieve them.
This can be said of both sexes.
Patrick said that a man has never done anything to hold him back, but he's sure that we women can think of plenty of other women who have done something to hold us back - be it a friend, a co-worker or a boss. As I stated in his comments section, that's rarely happened to me. Quite the opposite really.
I've had male supervisors who were great. But I've also had male supervisors who, while they thought I did a great job, never mentored, taught or groomed to me to get to the next level. They'd sing my praises all year long, but when it came time for my review, I was simply doing a "good job." I was doing what was expected - even though they knew that I performed above and beyond daily. It wasn't until a woman was charged with being my supervisor that I got a promotion.
From the beginning, she asked me what my goals were, where I thought I was in my career and how she could help me get to where I wanted to be. She acknowledges my hard work, always challenges me with new projects and encourages me to come up with my own ideas. Does she get on my nerves sometimes? Yes. Does she stay on top of me? Absolutely. And I appreciate that. It keeps me on my toes and makes me want to do better - if for no other reason than I know she expects great things from me. And she also realizes that if I do well, it makes her look good. Win-Win.
I say all of that to say, not all women want to keep each other down. Yes, there are catty, petty, back-stabbing women out there who don't want to see ANYONE succeed. I've never been in a personal relationship with one...and personal relationships and work relationships are totally different things. But in both, it's all about surrounding yourself with people who uplift you, who see your worth and potential, who believe in you, who genuinely want great things for you and will help you get them in life. Just like at work, personal relationships are a partnership. When one of us does well, we both win.
This isn't a man or woman thing - it's a PEOPLE thing. And if we're going to go there - women STILL get paid less for equal work in 2009 - so SOCIETALLY SPEAKING, men hold women back every day. These are rights we still have to fight for - and both men and women are vocal about it. But regardless of societal ills, these are not things we should be fighting for or against in our personal relationships. Your partner should be your biggest cheerleader.
Now, as the conversation progressed...Patrick being Patrick...said that he "heard" that women get paid less for equal work because (and I'm quoting here), "women are out of commission 'mentally' 3-7 days out the month. Period. Just what I've heard...I'm only the messenger."
Now...of course he realizes the absurdity in that statement - I think he just said it for sh*ts and giggles. But let's really examine what was said.
First of all, only a man would equate a menstrual cycle with a "mental affliction" - but let's say for the sake of his argument that it IS. Wouldn't the fact that we are still expected to come to work and perform up to par with them, even with this "mental affliction," suggest that we should get paid MORE?
I dunno...maybe it's just me. I never got a pass for not doing my work because I was on the rag.
As Patrick said...talk amongst yourselves on this one.