Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Brooke Dean - Hyphen?

Happy Tuesday!

So, I'm at work...working...and I attempt to send an email to a promo producer. His last name is "Snyder," so...like I do with most of my co-workers, I start typing "S-N-Y..." in the "to" field of the email waiting for his name to magically pop up.

Nothing.

I type in his first name, and the only name that comes up has the last name "Lovelace."

I have no idea who that is, so I decide to look up "Snyder" in the employee directory.

Nothing.

Hmmm...where the hell is he?

I start asking around to see if he's left the company and maybe I just didn't know about it.

"Nope, he's here today...I saw him."

I explain that his email isn't coming up and that he's no longer listed in the company directory.

"Oh, you have to look him up under 'Lovelace' now...he got married."

huh?

Sensing my confusion, they explained that because his wife was an only child and the last in her family to carry the name "Lovelace," he agreed to change HIS name after they got married so that their son could carry on her family name. They had their son before they got married, and the son carries the mother's last name, not his.

Wow! How interesting!

I don't know too many guys who would have gone for that. Unless you hate your family and everything associated with it, I can't imagine why a man would change his name to his wife's family name instead of keeping the tradition of his own. I thought that was a selfless thing to do.

But how many of you (men) would do that?

I mean, it's one thing for your wife to hold on to her maiden name, but your child? Especially your son? I don't know one man who would go for that.

But, I actually think about that myself every once in a while. My father and his brothers all had daughters. None has a son. As far as I know, I'm the last "Dean" child in my family. My sister and female cousins either never carried the "Dean" name or have since married. My sister is now Nicole M. Dean Dahmani - no hyphen. And unless I never get married and have a child on my own via sperm donor or whatever, the "Dean" name will stop with me.

I can't imagine it being easy to give up your name...a name you've known all your life. I mean, after all, "Brooke Dean" just sounds so good together. It rolls off my tongue - short and sweet and to the point. I always thought my name sounded professional, or sharp, or smart...or just plain cool. Sure, when I had boyfriends, I'd put their last name after my first name to see how it would sound. I've dated guys with interesting last names, boring last names, long last names, short last names. I even dated a guy named Michael Brooker...so you can imagine my misgivings about EVER marrying him. I would sign my name over and over again, hyphenated and un-hyphenated, just to see if it "worked" - and none of the names sounded as good to me as "Dean."

Brooke Dean...the end of my family line - the name I say over and over again at work, in introductions, that I sign my checks with, my emails with, sign for packages with, sign in at the doctor's office with, that I see in credits...who I see in the mirror.

Brooke Dean is who I am. How do I give that away?

After hearing that my co-worker sacrificed his last name, it got me thinking if I'd ever meet a man who'd be willing to do the same thing. Would he allow me to keep my name? Would he have a problem with me keeping my maiden name for professional reasons? Would he object to me hyphenating it? What if he has a weird last name? :-)

I know most men would argue that their name should be taken so that the family will be a unit, and I get that. Some say it's tradition. "Family" I am very much attached to. "Tradition" on the other hand? Maybe not so much. Maybe in the case of Mr. Lovelace, we can start our own traditions :-)

-b

74 comments:

AH *snickers* said...

FIRSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

So this is what it feels like being FIRST.


Anyway - very interesting plight as we actually both share. I would like to meet a man that would allow our son to carry on my father's last name since the buck also stops here.

Anonymous said...

OOOppps a second to late

Brooke said...

Yay, Angela finally commented!

I forgot about that, you're the last in your family line (last name-wise)...sucks right???

Annamaria (no mid name) Felix said...

I'm the only "Felix" in this house...LOL...Austin P. Williams, Jada B. Williams, Aaron A. Williams, Sophia M. Williams...Damn I'm the only one with out a middle name in this house too...LMAO...

I like it.. I think I'll keep Felix....... I am my daddy's lil girl

-V- said...

Busy busy ...

The only way to guarantee that the Dean name continues is to have a child on your own, outside of marriage & tradition.

Only one other time have I heard of a man taking his bride's surname but he was an orphan. Mr. Lovelace is a rare breed ... if he still has a father, what does he think? That's what I'm curious about.

As for me, I'm too selfish to give up my last name ... unless her's was something cool like Funkymistro ;-)

AH said...

I just had a deep convo with my brother....which we NEVER had ever in our lives. When his mother was pregnant with him, both she and my father wished for a (healthy) boy. Of course, at aged 10, I wanted a girl/sister. My Dad explained that technically he was the last of our line. He had two sisters who married and changed their last name. Then he had me. He said when I get married, I would change mine and I would no longer carry our family name....this would include any children I had--even out of wedlock (I have my Dad's last name even though my parents were not married). I vowed at that point (at aged 10), I would be hyphened to carry our name. Low and behold, they had a boy and my brother now has 2 girls. In our deep discussed, I talked about our family health (cancer has wiped out our Dad's side...including our Dad) and other paternal family concerns/background/etc. My brother now feels this pressure to go have a son (umma need you to handle the children you have FINANCIALLY). I have no idea what I would do now (with my name....) but....when discussing names with my ex if we got married/had a son, I made it clear that the first born son's middle name would be my family name. I know...I can be corny at times...

Brooke said...

V, you and I both know that you're gonna be my baby daddy...so what do we do then??? My last name is no where near as cool as "funkymistro" LOL! Dammit!

But yes, Mr. Lovelace's father is still alive and around...maybe I'll ask him what his dad thinks of his decision.

AH, I hear you...it's really something to think about. I know a couple of women at work who wanted to keep their maiden names for professional reasons and their husbands went balistic! It's something they never discussed before marriage because all the men just assumed the woman would take their last name.

I think it's definitely a discussion worth having.

Anonymous said...

Brooke Dean is just too hot to change...it's your stage name. i cant imagine taking a womans last name...that some nonsense. B, maybe you would consider Brooke D Rockerfeller or Brooke Gates...how about Brooke Woods...lol..it's your booooy....Zay Buge;)

Brooke said...

Brooke "Woods"? LOL!!

I really like my name, but good luck finding a man who will change his to "Dean" :-)

The Cable Guy said...

B, if you marry me, I'll let you keep your last name. Our son would have to have mine tho, no exceptions!

DMoe said...

This topic always makes me question some things...First, I was an only child and my daughter's the only one that can carry the name on, but - her future man taking her name?

That's some 2009 ish. Color me old fashioned, but no thanks. I wouldnt even allow the guy to do such a thing.

While we're on the subject, can we just talk about dudes with hyphenated names like Rodgers-Cromartie? or Douglass-Williams?

I guess i'm just behind the times, cuz I don't see the point.

School me si vous plais...

Confused,
Dmoe

Stef said...

Why are some men so offended by the notion of taking their wife's name? or simply her keeping her own? Why can't you keep your name and I keep mine? If you don't wanna let it go, why would we?

Yolanda said...

Did any of ya'll have Prof. Grady-Willis at the Cuse? He took his wife's name.

I worked with a reporter from NBC last month who's been married about a year now. Her hubby took her name also. He's Polish...she's Korean. It's so cute.

I think it's a sweet idea. I wouldn't be mad at any man who did it... my last name is so hot, dude might want it before we marry. LOL. I have no plans of ever changing my name, FYI. (Unless I marry a Trump or something)

phillygrl said...

BROOKE, I AGREE..your name has that special "Je ne sais quoi" If I were you I'd do what My godmother did( who was already well established in her career when she got married...She changed her name legally, but kept her name the same for business purposes. So her drivers license, mail, etc, was with her husband's last name, but not at work. One exception( when her assistant made flight reservations, she of course used her married name, as all of her documentation is changed.

Latinegro said...

Wow...I am shocked by this. I am not sure I would do that since I am the last Otero in my family. That is very interesting.

I know how much my dad wants me to have kids but I am not sure that will happem (just being honest...and somewhat bitter). I know that people think I am nuts when I say I have pretty much given up the idea that I will have kids, but that is ok, I am crazy that way.

On another note...I am laught at the name: Brooke Brooker...lol

phillygrl said...

Dmoe.....just wondering why is that so incredulous? tradition, american culture, I mean if we are equal why can't a man take a woman's name? If a woman can take a man's , turn arounds fair play , I say, if all are in agreement, what's the big deal( it's a big deal for a woman, as it would be for a man....soo, just somehting a couple must work through)

Brooke said...

I think I would keep it professionally. I like seeing my credits with my name on it.

And almost every woman I know has kept their maiden name for professional purposes, and the ones who didn't, met their husbands BEFORE they established themselves in their career.

I remember I had an SVP at an old job named Heather Vincent...loved her name, but just assumed that was her married name. Then one day someone called to confirm travel arrangements she'd made for her family and asked to speak to "Heather Holley." I was like "who is that?" When I asked her why she never went by "Holley," she said "I hate that name...I sound like a cartoon character or something. And I have an EMMY with MY name on it."

nuff said!

Jay said...

While I don't think I'd go for it, I can see why a woman who's worked hard to establish who she is, especially professionally, would want to keep her last name. But I think where I'd draw the line is my children. I take the family unit thing very seriously, and there's no way I'd allow my son to take my wife's maiden name. He's my legacy, just as a daughter would be, so even if their mother and I divorce, they'd still carry on my name. I know that may sound selfish, but like DMoe, just color me old fashioned.

Rameer said...

Here I come with my abstract ways...saying abstract things, throughout abstract days...

The name thing isn't a big deal to me in the least. I actually WOULD be willing to change my last name.

First off, my maternal family's last name is Lindsay. But everyone was girls, 'cept me. But my last name isn't Lindsay, it's Green...which I get from the paternal side. Ah, now HERE'S where the plot thickens...my paternal side is Panamanian. Like so many Latinos who came to this country, the name was changed to the more American-sounding "Green" to fight discrimination when they arrived here. Yet, only my biological father and me have that last name. Everyone else has passed.

So, I'm not really big on passing the name "Green". In fact, I thought about changing my last name if I ever were to get married to either Lindsay or the original Panamanian name - Verde (Spanish for Green - simple, right?).

But there are plenty of families that allow the child to not have the father's last name. Ask Angelina Jolie or countless numbers of celebs. And to me, taking my wife's last name isn't a biggie. If it's that important to her, so be it. We could compromise...perhaps I name out first child. I don't know...plenty of options.

I don't see why this is such a big deal. OH, by the way - how does Brooke GREEN roll off your tongue, Brooke-Ra? Lolz!

Brooke said...

I like "Brooke Verde" better!

But that's Craig's last name! LOL!

y'all might be cousins Rameer! LOL!

Yolanda said...

Did Meercat just propose?


"Meercat Verde"? Caliente!

Brooke said...

LMAO!!

I think he DID just propose :)

maybe the person who does the proposing should be the one to keep the name. I wonder how many women would start proposing if that became a rule :)

I think I like "Rameer Dean" better :) "Meercat Dean"

Nice ring to it!

The Cable Guy said...

"Cable Guy Dean"

LOL!!!

no way man, no way!

Brooke said...

oh, and Ant...yes, Brooke Brooker would have been too much!

I didn't know you were the lat Otero?? Maybe if V flakes on me, I'll have your baby and the legacy of the "Dean-Oteros" can begin!

LOL!

Latinegro said...

Brooke...of course we would have to practice alot first...make sure we get it right..lol

The Cable Guy said...

Hold up!? Verde. Otero.

I know you like Latinos, but come on! Stop it! LOL!

Latinegro said...

and you know Latinos muliply quicky so we definitely haveing like 3...lol

Brooke said...

I don't need no practice, I'm an expert :)

uh...I mean...huh?

The Cable Guy said...

west indians multiply fast too, she might want a Jamaican!

Rameer said...

Sorry, Captain Cable. Brooke-Ra's BEEN down with the Latinegroes from the jump...oh ju don' know?

"Meercat Dean"...you so SILLY!!! =)

Ms. Princess said...

Dear Brooke-lyn,
I think every little girl puts her dream man's last name in front of hers to see what it sounds like. That just took me back. Thanks for the memory. Hell I still do that. As of late, I've been Mrs. Princess Regan-[Denzel]Washington or Mrs. Regan [Morris]Chestnut. Ugh, too long!
I remember that story about A. Lovelace. Actually, it didn't surprise me because his gene pool is a little weird. Why does he have a feminine name and his sister have a masculine name? I digress...I think my main objective is to find a good man period. I'll worry about how our last names sound together later.

Brooke said...

maybe if I have twins, one can be a Dean and the other can be an Otero.

Or if I accept Rameer's proposal, one can be a Verde.

Brooke Dean Verde
Brooke Dean Otero
Rameer Dean
Anthony Dean
Rameer Dean Verde
Anthony Dean Otero

just so many options! LOL!

Malek said...

Ok this is a great topic until the last few comments.

Personally what ever name you choose to follow whether it is the woman or man I just like for the kids to match. I would not like the idea of being a Dean while my babies were Dahmani's. I feel separate like I had no part in birthing them. It is not common in Morocco or in Islam for the women to change their name but Fouad really liked when I did. As for Brooke Dean...Nicole Dean never rolled off the tongue quite as nice...they are right it is your stage name. Now I do like Brooke Cho, or even Brooke Woods but I thought the latter was already taken. As for Verde or Green hmm I have to look into that....And Brooke The Cable Guy oooh NAH!!!! And on the sperm donor tip we would be looking for a blackKorea baby....You know we have to keep it multi-cultural up in here, especially if his name would be Nico....Although Nico Cho sounds a little funny!!!! LOL

Brooke said...

Princess! you are so right! I never thought about that! But yes, A. did have a girl name and his sister D DID have a boy name. (both mr. lovelace and his sister worked here). And she had a baby and wasn't married...wonder if her child is a "snyder"? hmmm....

That family is backwards, and it didn't surprise me in the least when I heard he changed her name to his wife's name. I think it's cute actually :)

And leave it to my sister to break it down. Whatever it is, my sister is gonna have to approve I guess :)

She's been wanting me to have Vince's baby for the longest now. Brooke Cho DOES sound nice :)

The Cable Guy said...

Uh...Malek...Brooke's sister, you DO know that my REAL name isn't CABLE GUY...right??

no love man, no love.

and who the hell is Vince???

Brooke said...

Nicole Dahmani does sound better than Nicole Dean.

I don't think there's a last name that sounds better than Dean with Brooke. Just don't...but if I had kids, I guess I wouldn't like them having a different last name than me either.

...but like Ant, I don't see that in my future...at least any time soon. I don't think I have anything to worry about.

The Cable Guy said...

Brooke, if you want a baby, just say the word. You already know I can make a pretty baby...and with you, our kid would be gorgeous!

Just sayin ;)

Annamaria FELIX said...

I LOVE NICOLE's Married name....
I'll even co-sign Brooke Verde...And sorry Cable Dude, Brooke does like the whole spanish culture.. NOTE she asked me for arroz con guandules if the phillies win the world series.....that's a spanish woman at heart!!! LMAO

P.S.-I proposed to Austin last year, does that mean he has to take my last name if we get married????

Brooke said...

well, did he say yes???

And if so, then YES, Austin Felix it is! Ha!

The Cable Guy said...

She can like spanish culture, no problem...so long as she marries me :)

Didn't B say she wanted a baby by age 38? B, you have a birthday coming up. Since it takes 9 months to make a baby, I suggest we get started soon :)

Annamaria said...

He said yes...I got him a ring & everything....ALTHOUGH I'M STILL WAITING FOR MY BABY RING...LOL

I asked for a band for having his baby....lol.after 5 days of labor I THINK I DESERVE IT!!!! lol

DMoe said...

@Philly girl -

The person who has to get up and grab the pistol in the middle of the night when some noise is heard downstairs gets dibs on the last name.

LOL.

You want me to take your last name? Then, go see what the hell that noise was. I'll wait here.

LMAO.

I'm jus playin...No seriously. Well kinda. No for real.

Think of all the possibilities...

Its not necessarily ludicrous. Its just ---

Sincerely,
DMOE




Hey man, here come D-Moe...

Who?

D-Moe!

"Imma tuck mines in..."

Brooke said...

well D, if that's the case, there are alot of dudes out there who should have their wife's maiden name, cuz there are plenty of bitchass men out there who will GLADLY let the woman go see that that noise was :) LOL!

Stef said...

WORD!!!

Malek said...

yes Cable Guy I do no that that is not your real name and still Uh Nah!

Annamaria I hope this band includes diamonds....say like five for each day you were in labor....I know its a recession but damn!!!!!!!

I like Austin Felix!!!

Arroz con gaundoles does sound REAL good right now!!!!!

Although cable guy I do like curry goat too....

Brooke you never know when the cupids bow will sneak up on you and take a big bite right you in your ASS!!!!!!

Bye the way out of all these so called proposal's and sperm donation are they free and clear to be making said gestures? I'm just saying we don't want no baby or wifey drama!!!!!

Why is my word verification dingles? I'm a have to use this word to describe something in the future.....It sounds like I should use it like "I have to dingles" hmm maybe not....

Rameer said...

Y'all know dudes who make THE WOMEN go see what the noise was?!?

When I was a LITTLE BOY, my aunts/female cousins/female family members made me go see what the noise was!!! IT wasn't an option - either go see what it was, or get popped upstairs!

Damn - that IS some bitchassness. Dudes not willing to go check out the noise...lmao!

Don't front, though - Brooke Verde sounds niiiiiiice...

Brooke said...

LMAO@ curry goat :)

Dingles sounds like a pet's name - "Mr. Dingles."

damn, now I want arroz con gandules. Soon enough, when my Phillies win!!

And by the way, I'm not having babies with Ant anymore. He posted some smart ass crap on FB about my Phillies, so he's no longer my baby daddy...can't have a house divided!

So....Brooke Verde it is. And we'll have a bunch of little Verdes...but we gotta get started soon, I'm no spring chicken. The younger Mr. Verde can go chase them AND go see what the noise was :)

Malek said...

I don't know this Verde????
Is he short or tall?
Nice teeth?
Does he have Ennnngine in his family?
What's his shoe size?



Were is V?

Latinegro said...

wow...All I can say is that you knew I was a Mets Fan...lol

Brooke said...

Verde is Rameer Nicole (Malek)

He has nice teeth, not short, but shorter than me, don't know shoe size, but he's Panamanian...and Latinegro :) LOL!

he's a cutie, don't worry :)

Brooke said...

Mets fan is one thing, but they're not in it...the Yanks are... so I feel as tho you need to stop hating on my Phils and get on board!

Malek said...

I have to think about it......

u know I love Vince....

Yolanda said...

Nicole Dahmani!!!!!

OMG, you should make shoes or something. That's hot!

Rameer said...

I'm a cutie? Awwwww - thanks! =)

Everyone have a great night!!!

Brooke said...

she does have a thing for fashion Yolanda, I agree!

Malek said...

ohh thanks Yolanda!!!!

You know when I was in college I designed clothes under the name Dean Cole.... Just a little FYI.....

But shoes yeah that would be hot!!!!
For big foot girls too!!!! LOL

goodnight Rameer!!! I'll have to check you out the next time I'm in NY

Brooke said...

Rameer lives in Buffalo Nicole, so he'd have to come down here when you're here :)

I want some "big foot girl" shoes!

The Cable Guy said...

Nicole, do you pick/approve ALL of Brooke's boyfriends? LOL!

Malek said...

Cable Guy....YES!! I do....Would you like to submit an application?

Anonymous said...

Brooke....Thanks so freaking much! Seeing your name all over this blog has given me the name I want for my daughter! I was going to go with Blake Valentina Berry but I prefer.....wait for it......

still waiting.....



Brooke Angelina Berry!

Perfect!!! I just have to get it approved!! I think that is so freakin beautiful! I can call her Babs for short!

Thanks!

Floyd

The Cable Guy said...

Why YES, I would! I think everyone here knows I'd make a great boyfriend! LOL!

Malek said...

Floyd...you don't know me but I just wanted to say that I like the name but please don't call her Bab's.

I'm just sayin

Malek said...

cable guy you can get that app to Brooke by the weekend and I will have an answer for you by Wednesday....

Please note that all results are final!!! LOL

Brooke said...

Floyd!

I approve!!! You can't go wrong with "Brooke"...jus sayin ;)

I'm sure she's gonna be gorgeous! Let me know if the wife approves :)

Stef said...

Cable Guy is MAD THIRSTY!!!

She don't want you man!!!

The Cable Guy said...

I see hater Stef is back :)

Anonymous said...

I just ran it by her and she approves!! She wants Addison as the middle name though! I hope she looks like her mother...it would be hard pressed for her to find a date if she looks like me! LOL

-Malek, I am with my colleague in my office right now and he AGREES that I shouldn't call her Babs! He asserts that Babs is too close to Baby etc. I thought it was cute. I know they call Barbara Streisand (one of my favorite singers) Babs. I guess Babs is out of the question. What do you think of Addison as a middle name?

Brooke said...

Brooke Addison Berry is a GREAT name! or Brooke Ashley is nice too.

If I have a son, his name will either be Nico or Brooklyn :)

Malek said...

I like Addison....and of course I love Brooke...but don't call her Baddy...LOL

If she looks like her Mom who sounds beautiful as you have described her then you can nickname her angel face or fancy face!!!

@ Cable guy....don't worry Stef will not sway me....be sure to list your cons too....I know there is a baby mamma lurking around....Is she a problem or not....I have to protect my sister!!!!!!

The Cable Guy said...

Yes, I have a baby mama, but she's not a problem...I don't think...:)

Malek said...

cable guy you have to KNOW not THINK!!!!!

The Cable Guy said...

You right, I'll find out and put it on my application :)

Nicole Malek said...

good look!!! : ))

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