Brookey's Cafe Blog

Hey everyone,

I can't wait for this week to be over...which will be Thursday for me. I'm working my tail off with no end in sight! I think they know I'm going to be away for 2 weeks and they're trying to find any and everything for me to do! UGGHH!!!

But hey, in this economy, I'm happy to have a job. Everyone here is complaining about not getting a holiday bonus this year when they should be thanking God they have a job to come into at all. I know they depend on that bonus to buy gifts for loved ones, but you'd have to be living under a rock to know that hard times are hitting everyone. Your loved ones should understand if you can't spend a grip on them this year...or even spend anything on them at all. Gifts should be given from the heart and received with appreciation, no matter the amount spent. However, I understand that some of you may need help in coming up with thoughtful, creative, yet inexpensive gifts this season. That is why I'm asking you to give your input once again on a blog idea - Great gift ideas for under $50. Please send me your suggestions and I'll post them in an upcoming blog - most likely Friday (brookeybaby73@yahoo.com).

Now, some of you buy for the same people every year, so gift ideas may come easier for you. But some of you may have a new "special friend," and you're now wondering if you should spend your hard earned money on a man or woman you just met. Let's say you've been kickin' it since October, things are going well, and now you're wondering if you should buy him/her a gift. After all, it's only been a couple months, and while you're having a great time, will giving a gift to a new boo send the wrong message? Are there rules? Let's break it down.

First and foremost, if you want to give someone a gift - give it. Plain and simple. Gifts should be given as an expression of your feelings and appreciation for someone, not out of obligation or a sign of great expectations. If you want to give a gift, give one - just don’t expect one in return. Gifts should never be given with the expectation that one will be given in return.

Now, I DO think there are some things that you should take into consideration. How long have you been dating? Is it serious? Are they as into you as you are into them? Do you know how they feels about gift giving in general? Do they even celebrate the holiday? These are all things you must ask yourself first before you head out to the mall.

If they're not as in to you as you are to them, then a gift that has too much meaning or costs too much money could very well spook them. Since you’ve only been dating a short time, I’d suggest a gift that gives you an opportunity to spend more time together, but that does not suggest that you have any lofty ideas about what is going on between the two of you romantically. Some good choices are: a gift certificate to a favorite restaurant or to a local movie theatre, or tickets to a sporting event or play you know he/she wants to see. The key here is to keep the gift thoughtful but not too personal. If they don’t like gift giving, and has expressed that they are short on cash, or don’t celebrate Christmas, then don't go out and buy him/her the latest iPod. Forgo the gift altogether. To give a gift under those circumstances is insensitive and shows a lack of respect for the person's feelings - not the best way to move a relationship forward on good terms.

The important thing for you to remember is that giving a gift does not mean that the relationship is serious, and if moving things to the next level is part of some agenda for giving the gift, then don’t give a gift at all. On the flip side, if they really like you, no gift is going to scare them away. The person may feel uncomfortable if they didn’t get you anything in return, but again, you should let the person know that you don't expect a gift from them - that you just wanted to give a little something to let them know they're appreciated.

My honest opinion - barring some very good reason for their not wanting a gift (like he doesn’t celebrate a winter holiday or she has expressed that she has no money to buy you a gift) - there really is no reason not to give your new sweetheart something. Just choose the gift carefully. Don't make it too personal or too ‘couply’ (is that a word? it is now!), and don't flip out if he/she gives you nothing in return. After all, at 2 months, it’s just as OK to NOT receive a gift as it is to give one. Remember the reason for the season.

-b