Monday, December 15, 2008

Cougars

Happy Monday!

I hope everyone had a fabulous, relaxing and/or productive weekend! I got a lot accomplished - I put up my tree (thank you Rene), wrapped gifts, got some shopping done and finally got my internet up and running at home.

I had cable, internet and phone installed in my apartment for the first time since moving to NY. I know, I know...you all are thinking I'm crazy to have not gotten all of those services until now. But I have cable, tivo and internet at work and on my blackberry and I use my cell phone for everything so I don't need a landline. But, I was told at work that I don't watch enough tv (go figure) and blogging at work is becoming a bit counterproductive - thus now internet at home.

Last weekend, the cable guy couldn't install my internet modem correctly, so I had to have someone else come back out to fix it this past Saturday. Clad in sweatpants, an Eagles jersey and a scarf on my head, I opened the door to find the cutest cable guy I'd ever seen. He was about 6 feet tall, had a build like Shawn from Boyz II Men and had dimples deep enough to drink hot cocoa from. But I shook it off, cuz after all, it's the cable guy and you just don't try to bag the cable guy.

So he's fixing my internet, light conversation. He's kinda shy. We start talking about Cadillac Records, which I saw on Friday with Amanda. He tells me how he loves Beyonce and has the same birthday as Jay-Z - he just turned 25. Awwwww :-)

But he said his music taste runs deeper than B. He says to me, "Anita Baker is playing on Valentine's Day, so I have to get tickets." A 25 year old man who loves Anita Baker? Hmmm...his girl must be making him do that, so I ask. He promptly lets me know he's single and wants to go by himself...unless he finds a date.

"Well, if you get tickets, I'll be your date." Did I really just say that out loud? Yep...I sure did.

He seems taken back, but he's blushing. "I'll hold you to that" he says. Before he leaves I give him my business card. He shakes my hand, "I'm Rob." He leaves. Did I just bag the cable guy?

I wasn't sure until I came into work this morning to find an email from him telling me how engaging I was, how he admired my initiative, and how he could tell I was a real woman about my business. He said my scarf and sweat pants were "cute."

So, am I a Cougar? Urban Dictionary defines a Cougar this way:

Cougar 1562 up, 498 down
(see also hunt, prowl, corner, pounce). Noun. A 35+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco (or other cities)waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path.

This had me thinking about the Demi Moore's and Mariah Carey's of the world. This is the video that Mariah shot with Nick Cannon where they reportedly fell in love:

Bye Bye - Mariah Carey

Did she bag him? or did he bag her?

When an older man gets with a much younger chick, we either see that as a woman who prefers more mature men, or he's her "Sugar Daddy." But what do we think of when we see 38 year old Mariah Carey with 27 year old Nick Cannon? That it's never going to work? What does she see in him? What does he see in her? She can't find a man her own age? What can they possibly have in common?

Since it's not as common to see older women with much younger men, some of us automatically apply our own perceptions to the situation - some stereotypical, some biased. Demi and Ashton are still going strong. It CAN work.

But I think it works when the woman is confident in herself, open to whatever life brings, is non-judgmental and just willing to have a good time. The younger man can be more mature than her same-age counterparts. He may be more adventurous, more open or more fun. Maybe he's not yet jaded to dating and relationships and isn't looking at all women as predators who just want to get married and have your snotty nosed, rusty behind babies. He just wants to have fun and make her smile - and maybe learn a thing or two :-)

Hey, you never know until you try it at least once right? No one is talking about marrying the cable guy, but I had to step back and wonder if I'd ever even entertain the thought. Me, a Cougar? The idea itself is laughable to me, but it got me to thinking - Women, would you seriously date a MUCH younger man - say 10 years younger? If not, why?

Men, have you ever dated a much older woman when you were in your twenties - bagged by a Cougar? If so, how was your experience?

I can't say that I've dated anyone 10 years younger than me before, but I did find him to be the cutest little thing. I wanted to buy him a short set! LOL! I'm curious to hear everyone's thoughts on this. In the meantime, I have an email to reply to ;-)

-b

33 comments:

Keefe said...

got it!!!

Keefe said...

now let me read!!!! :-)

Brooke said...

Now you know Nicole is gonna say something to you about posting first but not reading the blog first :-) LOL!!

Annamaria said...

I think you should TOTALLY bag the cable guy!!!!!!! If all else fails you can get a few months off your cable bill!!! LMAO
Besides you never know that lil boy may just put it on you better than an older man could. Shoot there is NOTHING wrong with being a cougar & I totally intend on being one the minute I hit 40... :)

Annamaria said...

Did anyone notice that I did not mention TASERS in my comment???? I just wanted to point that out! LMAO

Brooke said...

Yes, good for you! I thought for sure you'd tase Keefe for being first! LOL! And I guess I'll consider myself a Cougar at 40, I'm still a bit young for that :-)

Priscilla said...

Im so biased and not afraid to admit it. I always go older. The smallest age gap ive ever had was 5 years - max 11 years.

No daddy issues either, I just feel like I have to be with someone older.

Plus now that Im nearing 29 I dont know if I have the ability or the will to keep up with these youngins!

But thats another blog!

Brooke said...

LOL!! Interesting! with a few exceptions, I mostly date older men...and the younger guys I've dated have never been more than 4 years younger. Liz says she thinks I'm attracting younger men because I have a baby face. Don't know about that, but it is what it is!

Keefe said...

Cougar .... I mean Brooke,

Have fun with your new boy toy. And remember the old cliche "age is just a number."

Anonymous said...

Nothing wrong with going younger, Brooke. I don't really get all up into the age thing myself - I haven't told hardly anyone my age since I was 21. I feel like too many people prejudge or bring in stereotypes/unwarranted beliefs when they know your age. Unless you're demonstratively older than the person you're pursuing (like Hugh Hefner chasing 20 year-olds), who cares? Age really ain't nothin' but a number.

It's really about what the two people want out of the relationship. Want a good time? Go for it? Some nice companionship? Go for it. A lasting relationship? go for it. So earth-shattering, toe-curling, orgamistron 3000 booty calls on the reg? Go for it.

Personally, I've dated older and younger. Rarely have I dated someone who is the EXACT same age as me. It's never been an issue about age. Cuz we both went in knowing what we wanted.

If u wanna get your cougar on, then go on and purr! Personally, I commend you on aggressively making your move - I'm sure the guy found that as sexy as I do when a woman takes the initiative for what she wants.

AND you weaseled your way into going to see Anita Baker - NICE! Lol.

- Rameer

Rene The Harlemite said...

Brooke-No I know how you have MAD premium channels. You better be nice to him or he'll jack up your service! LOL!

I have been on dates some women that were older than me but I have never been in a serious relationship with me.

When I was 18 chilling with this woman that was 30 for a sec. It was cool...

It's not just about the age. Its
about the character of the person. I have seen some "older" people act like they are in high school.

phillygrl said...

brooke, you are not a cougar! I don't think you had on the prerequisite"padded bra" !!:-) anyway, who care's once you're grown, you're grown..do ypu!!....uuhh..plus he ws cue, so that doesn't hurt!:-)

phillygrl said...

I meant CUTE

phillygrl said...

"do you"..uughhh..my fingers are all over the place.:-(

Brooke said...

Rameer! thank you for reading my blog and commenting. I always look forward to reading your comments on the SU Blackbook because you either have something very thought provoking to say...or you start trouble...or BOTH! HA!

Rene, I have premium channels because the first cable guy messed up and I told them to compensate me for my inconvenience, not cuz Junior hooked me up ;)

Karen, thank you. I don't think I'm old enough to be a Cougar yet at 35. I picture Cougars to be in their late forties, divorced with grown kids walking around clubs like Mrs. Robinson. And I don't normally do what I did, but it made me laugh when I thought about it after he left :-) LOL!!

Annamaria said...

Brooke you just a straight up pimp!!! I wanna be like you when I grow up!!! GO AHEAD GIRL! :)

Anonymous said...

I think that sh*t is hot. I'd love it if a woman approached me or was the aggressor in the situation. A woman who goes after what she wants is sexy as hell to me. You don't play games or flirt for no reason knowing you ain't got no interest but just want attention. You went after it full on. You showed you a grown ass woman, love that sh*t!

-T

Big D said...

I like that Brookey. I see nothing wrong with you dating a younger man. If he is mature and has swagg go for it. If nothing comes out of it at least you experienced something new like Sanaa,LOL.

Brooke said...

Have you ever been snagged by a Cougar Big D? or do you date younger chicks usually? :)

The Fury said...

You definitely bagged the cable guy and you did it with intent. Your comment about his "girlfriend" was a fishing expedition and you caught him...hopefully he's more Moby Dick than a little minnow. LOL

I've dated...well "dated" is a misnomer, but whatever a woman that was 8 years older and she was very fun to be with and appreciated my energy;-) and ability to just be spontaneous. I appreciated her maturity...and her...appreciation for my youth:-)

Brooke said...

Yes, I guess you could say I threw that out there to see, but I also felt like he made that Anita Baker comment about Valentine's Day so that I COULD ask him. I barely got the question out before he blurted that he was single, so I think we both fished a bit on that one :-)

Rene The Harlemite said...

Liz-Where's your video blog?

Monica-Where ya at??? Are trying to hide now? Everyone knows what you look like! LOL!

Brooke-Go for it! You never know. He make you a cheesecake and cook you dinner with "Givin' You the Best That I Got" playing in the background. lol

Fury-Oh hell yeah she was fishing! She gave him the business card! :). She may have had Ms. Independent playing in the background Or Babyface "Whip Appeal"! LMAO!


Nicole-Where's my grape soda and my Eid gift. Stop fronting! Tis the season. "C is for cookie! That's good enough for me!" LOL

Brooke said...

If Liz posted one, I would have put it up. I won't make that mistake again :-)

Giving someone a business card isn't fishing...it was direct. I don't front like some people I know ;-)

"Giving you the best that I got" is the jam! I ain't mad! LOL!

Malek said...

Receive, read, write that's how its goes!!!!! That's all I'm sayin....Anyway Brooke you go girl....

I recall the last time you dated a younger guy he set the bar higher for other guys to follow.....Hmm do the damn thing....


Try to get a date in before you come home this weekend....

*Note to Friends* get your time in with Brooke this week cause she out...I don't want to have to get Kyce and Brahim on yall.....

Rameer I like your comment about "purring" that was cute....You see Brooke not everyones a hater.....(see precious blogs)

Chow
Nicole

PS Rene you got too many damn friends on facebook....but thanks yall for the hook up...I'll try to check it a least once a week....

Malek said...

I meant to day "previous" my fingers are not working either

Rene The Harlemite said...

That is the jam!!! re: Anita Baker

Yeah I looked on You Tube and did not see Liz's blog

Yeah you can fish and get you catch right with the right bait So it was direct! :)

Brooke said...

whatever Rene.

Nicole meant to SAY "previous." LOL! We all have had those days where we just can't type :)

We'll see if a date before the weekend is in the cards, but if so, I won't be blogging about any dates - just so y'all know!

And yes, my sister is SO serious about getting Kyce and Brahim on y'all if you try to interrupt her family time :) They know how to wrestle...those kids are BEASTS when it comes to wrestling. Kyce will kick you in the neck! Seriously.

I'm off on Friday but I'll still blog from home now that my new friend hooked me up ;)

Boogiebabi said...

Who CARES who bagged who anyway? To answer your question Brook-lyne, you are not a cougar; you aren’t 50 years old! So what if dude is 10 years younger than you, obviously the young cat saw standing in front of him an extremely intelligent, beautiful, sexy woman and he took a chance to pounce! Despite the difference in age, it sounds like dude is a very old soul. He has the guts and I like that.

Dating younger, there isn’t anything wrong with that and you can get over the age thing. I did, have, well sort of, Jason is 6 years younger than me and we are getting married soon. Therefore I just choose to ignore the “age difference”, because he makes me happy and we have a lot of the same interests.

Besides, have you forgotten that ideally you are matched perfectly! How you make ask?? Your libidos, you are at your PRIME and Young Cat TOO! You don’t have to worry about a one shot deal for the night and leaving you to schedule a booty call with a battery operated Richard.

Brooke said...

Awww, thank you so much Nic Nac! (wiping tear from my eye) you are so sweet! Jason is so lucky to have you! He knows what it is!

Today the youngster told me he was hesitant to ask for my information (even though he had it already) because he didn't want me to report him to Time Warner as being unprofessional or a stalker. He said they have to be careful about how they come off, so he was happy that I took the lead and gave him my card. Trust me, if I didn't get the feeling he wanted the number, I wouldn't have offered it. I think the vibe you get is very important in these things...no matter who the aggressor is. I was more focused on the age difference than who initiated what, so you're right Nikki, it doesn't matter who bagged who.

Now about that whole in our PRIME thing...I'll let you know if I ever find out...offline of course! LOL!

Malek said...

Awe "Nic Nac" that was so nice you can truly tell when someone is happy in their own world when they "Big-upp" you like that....Not like some Chickens....and she is so right about age.. you have to see if his age matches his IQ then go from there.....otherwise what's it gonna hurt.....Guys do it all the time so really what's the difference......


I know its late but you know I have to do my mommy duties now I'm tried...so go call ole' boy or should I say "youngin"

Peace
night night

Boogiebabi said...

I agree with Nicole, call dude and see what happens. After all what do you have to loose?? You may have fun and it could be an incredible time or it could be bad. Either way, it might be a good idea for another blog topic! :)
PS. Jason says you got game! :O)

April~ said...

BROOKE!!!
It took me forever to get on this dang 'ol 'post' page. :( But I just read this and I'm LMBO!!! Literally!
Hahahaha...you are hilarious, relevant, and so talented. Keep up the good work!

Brooke said...

Thank you so much! But which April is this? :-) I know a couple, and this would be the first comment for either of you LOL! Is this Syracuse April or Amanda's April? :-) Either way, thank you so much for reading my blog and commenting!

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